Red Claw Alpha (Red Claw Rising Book 1)

by Zoey Harper

  Tegan sighed. "Anyway, after that day, Ryan and I promised we'd never turn into our parents. He promised he'd never turn into Dad, who was a selfish monster, and I swore I'd never turn into Mom, who bore it all and stayed. It seemed we both went against our words.

  "As soon as Ryan turned twelve, he became a man in the clan's eyes. We started to grow apart quickly. Those first few days, he hated whatever it was that they did. But months later, I saw this glint in his eyes. And it told me that the Bluewolf way had claimed my brother.

  "Ryan treated me like any other Bluewolf woman. He ordered me around and got in my face whenever I didn't do what he wanted. He moved out at sixteen, but those four years after he became a Bluewolf man were torture. There were now two men I had to fear."

  Colton exhaled loudly and scrubbed a hand over his face. "That must have hurt. He betrayed you."

  Tegan's eyes widened as Colton's words rang true for her. "That's exactly right. I've never thought of it like that."

  "Yeah. Betrayal stings worse than anything. It's the one thing I won't tolerate."

  The venom in his voice made the hair on Tegan's arms stand up. "Did someone do that to you?"

  Colton tutted. "No deflecting. You've got a lot more unloading to do until we get your head clear."

  Tegan sighed. "It's all more of the same. Every story is full of dark and soulless men."

  Tegan sneered. "And the worst part is that Ryan seems to be worse than all his friends. How is it possible that the kid that stuck up for me and forced his friends to be nice to me has become the biggest monster of them all?"

  Tegan shook her head. "That's why I hate violence. It all starts as a bid to prove masculinity and fight for what's yours. Or at least what you think is yours. Then you start to derive pleasure from it. Before you know it, you're heading out on weekly hunts, coming home with blood all over your clothes."

  "Weekly hunts?" Colton cocked his head.

  "Yeah. Every week, Bluewolf men head out on a hunt. It's usually for animals, but I've heard of humans being involved. They find some innocent in town, intimidate them, follow them home, and as soon as they take off running, the hunt begins."

  "Fucking hell!" Colton's face crumpled, and he placed his hands on the top of the couch behind him. "They really are animals."

  "No. They're worse. Animals kill to eat and protect their territory. They hunt, and each hunt makes them sicker in the head. They're like the worst kind of hybrid. Barbaric animals with human intelligence."

  Colton took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're not there anymore. You're strong to have fought your way out."

  Tegan scoffed. "I didn't fight my way out. I panicked when I heard rumors of an arranged mating. I went to my mother crying and lost it. She came up with the plan to get me out. I'm not strong."

  "You are," Colton said emphatically. "You're here, ain't you? You're sane when you should be in an asylum anywhere. You learned a new skill, and now you're going on a mission with the alpha of the Red Claw Rising Clan. That's quite an accomplishment, by the way."

  The side of Colton's mouth arched up, but Tegan didn't return his smile.

  "I'm not strong. I'm broken." Her fingers trembled as she voiced the words she always thought, but never dared utter. Her throat constricted, and she forced breath into her aching chest.

  "I'm stuck in this in-between where only damaged people live."

  Tegan shot to her feet. Sitting still was starting to give her full body tremors. A panic attack was on its way, but she wasn't here for it.

  She paced her room. "I can shoot with the best of them, but I can't fight with my bare hands. I'm a wolf shifter, who can't shift. My life was so fucking traumatic that my wolf went to sleep. She's a wolf, for crying out loud! Even she couldn't deal with it. But she's a part of me. I'm weak."

  Colton placed a hand on Tegan's shoulder and stopped her from pacing. "This is the first time I've heard you curse. You're worrying me. I'm not sure this is working. It was supposed to calm you, not get you worked up."

  Tegan bowed her head. "I guess it's just a part of being broken."

  "Stop that." Colton's blue eyes burned with rage. "You're not broken. You're just carrying a shit ton of fuckedupness. You're not fucked up."

  Tegan pressed a hand to her throat. "Except I am. I can't shift, Colton." Tegan locked eyes with him. "Where on earth have you heard of a shifter that can't shift?"

  Colton winced. "It is pretty rare. But maybe you just never learned."

  "No." Tegan shook her head. "I shifted all the time as a kid. My wolf has gone to sleep. I would, too, if I could. There are things I'd like to forget."

  Tegan's voice had lowered to a whisper, and her eyes watered at her memories of what happened before her last shift at the age of thirteen. She was only a kid, but the boys she grew up with, her brother's friends, didn't care. A low growl made Tegan's head snap up.

  "Did they hurt you?"

  Tegan looked down, but Colton raised her chin with a single finger. She'd been careless in her words. It seemed Colton knew exactly what she was referring to.

  Up until today, the only people that knew about that day were Tegan and her mother. Well, the boys that attacked her knew about it, too, but Tegan doubted they'd remember much. They did that kind of thing all the time.

  "What do you mean?" Tegan turned out of his grip and wrapped her arms around herself.

  Colton exhaled. "I've got my answer. You didn't deserve that. How old were you?"

  Tears fell down Tegan's face, and she quickly wiped them. She sniffed. "Thirteen, but they didn't get too far."

  Tegan forced herself to suck in a breath. "Mom found me. It was unusual for me to be late after school That was the last time I shifted. But those boys took it as a challenge and shifted, too. If Mom hadn't found me..."

  Colton took a step forward and raised Tegan's chin once more. "If I ever run into any of the guys that did that to you, even your brother, I'll kill them with my bare hands. You did not deserve that."

  Tegan shook her head. "It was partly my fault. I should have been paying attention. I knew better than to walk home alone."

  "No," Colton growled. "You were a young girl that should have been safe in her clan. You didn't let yourself down, your clan did. Your father and brother did. You're a victim, Tegan. That doesn't mean that you're broken."

  "So, why do I feel that way?"

  Tegan started hyperventilating as sobs broke from her body. She gasped, trying to stay her crying. If she went down that road, she'd be down for days. She had a job to do, and digging herself out of that pit would take energy she didn't have.

  To Tegan's shock, Colton pulled her sharply toward him and patted her back awkwardly.

  "Ouch," Tegan said.

  Colton's hand stilled on her back. "Sorry," he mumbled. His chest vibrated with the sound, and Tegan rested her head against it.

  He was so warm and safe. If he'd been there thirteen years ago, none of those guys would have dared come near her. He was a grizzly bear, and like it or not, he had a hero's streak in his heart. Colton would have protected her.

  Tegan pulled away from Colton and wiped her face. Snot dripped over her lip, and she used the sleeve of her pajamas to wipe it off.

  There was no use in reimagining a different past. And thinking of what life would have been like if Colton had been there for her was only strengthening her feelings for him.

  He's leaving in a few days, and he's no good for you. Remember that.

  "Sorry about that." Tegan took a step back and took a deep breath, giving Colton a shaky smile when she looked up at him. His brows were deeply furrowed.

  Tegan lifted a self-conscious hand to try to smooth down her hair. She hadn't combed it since she woke up, and the thought that she'd been talking to Colton this entire time with bed hair, sent a faint blush up her neck.

  "I must look a mess," Tegan said, her voice trembling.

  Colton shook his head and took a step forward, his fingers coming through her h
air. "You look beautiful."

  Tegan's mouth went dry, and every muscle in her body froze. Colton 's eyes had gentled, and there was a warmth shining behind them. Almost like he cared about her.

  That's absurd. He probably feels sorry for you.

  "Now you're just laying it on. You don't have to lie to me." Tegan should have shoved Colton's hand away, but it had been so long since she'd gotten physical affection from anyone. She was lonely. She could finally admit that to herself now.

  For so long, Tegan felt so guilty about the fact that her mother and sister were still stuck in the Bluewolf that she never allowed herself to feel sorry for herself. Now, she stood in her apartment, letting a giant man essentially pet her.

  "I'm not lying to you." Colton's hand stilled, and he locked gazes with Tegan. "You're beautiful. I've always thought that. Right now, more than ever. It's like your soul is shining through or some shit."

  Tegan chuckled. "What?"

  Colton pointed a warning finger at her. "Don't make fun of me, woman. I'm trying to communicate here."

  Tegan smiled. "Sorry for interrupting."

  "Thank you." Colton dropped his pointed finger and resumed stroking her hair. He seemed to be in a trance, and Tegan didn't want to break it.

  It felt good to have him so close. He smelled of spice and fur and something that was utterly Colton. She wanted nothing more than to bury her face in his shirt and grab onto him for the rest of her life.

  "You remind me of someone I used to know."

  Tegan cocked her head. "An ex?"

  Colton scoffed. "I don't have too many of those. Not in the proper sense. No. You remind me of my mom."

  Tegan winced. Well, there was her confirmation. She snapped into her senses and placed a hand on Colton's arm, shoving it away. "I'll take that as a compliment."

  "You should. She was a great person." Colton stuffed his hands into his pocket and looked down. When he looked up, his icy blue eyes had gone dark with desire. "But I never wanted to kiss my mother."

  Tegan's eyes flew open, and her lips parted. She tried to form words, but nothing but a gush of air came out. Colton wrapped an arm around her waist, and his eyes dropped to her lips.

  The heat of his touch was like a brand on Tegan, and her panties soaked as her mind finally caught up to what Colton's actions meant.

  He liked her, and he wanted to kiss her, or maybe more.

  Pretty soon, Colton confirmed her thoughts. He lowered his head, and his surprisingly soft lips brushed against hers.

  Once. Twice. Then he finally growled and pulled Tegan closer, kissing her desperately.

  Tegan parted her lips and granted Colton the access he was asking for. She lay limp in his arms and let him plunder her mouth. Her core clenched as liquid need swirled within her.

  Colton's tongue moved maddeningly in her mouth. All Tegan could do was whimper and grab onto his shoulders, looking for an anchor. Her pulse took off, skittering wildly, and she pressed herself against Colton, needing more contact.

  It was, in a word, glorious. But then Colton pulled away. "We have to stop," he panted.

  Tegan tiptoed to place hot kisses along his jaw and neck, the only places she could reach. She didn't want this to end. She was more turned on than she'd ever been and for the first time in a long time, she felt like nothing was weighing her down.

  Gone were the thoughts of the Bluewolf or her failure to build a life for her mother and sister in Stonewick. In Colton's arms, all she could think of was the sexy piece of meat standing before her.

  If the shaft pressing against her belly was any indication, then Colton was definitely on the same page.

  "I want this." Tegan pulled away, and her eyes canted to Colton's. "I want you."

  Colton's jaw clenched, and he swallowed audibly. "Are you sure? Once we start, it'll be hard for me to stop. I don't want to force you."

  Tegan took Colton's hand and placed kisses on it. "I've had plenty of sex since that day. I'm a grown woman who knows what she wants. And right now, that's you."

  Tegan held Colton's hand close to her chest and looked him dead in the eye. She didn't want him to see her as a victim. It had taken time, but she'd slowly reclaimed her sexuality. Any decision Tegan made was of her own free will and desire.

  "I want you," Tegan whispered her voice heavy with desire.

  There was no need to be proper. Soon, she hoped to be naked with Colton. She would have to tell him what she wanted anyway. Might as well start now.

  Colton slowly nodded, then pulled his hand away and turned her to the bed.

  9

  Tegan crawled to the center of her bed, then lay down. As soon as her back came into contact with her bed cover, she froze, and a chill ran down her spine.

  What was she doing?

  Colton placed a knee on the bed, and it dipped under his weight. The sudden movement shocked Tegan out of her lust-induced haze. She shot up and sat with her back pressed against the headboard.

  "You're not ready," Colton said, his voice soft. "It's okay."

  Tegan hugged her knees to her chest and exhaled. "I am."

  Colton chuckled as he sat at the edge of her bed. "That's a lie if I ever heard one."

  "I am." Tegan sighed. "I just have certain worries."

  "Oh." Colton stroked his beard. "Well, I'm clean. I got checked about six months ago, but I haven't had sex since then."

  Tegan's eyes bugged out. "You haven't had sex in six months? How is that possible? You're so hot!"

  Colton chuckled. "I think you're hot, too, but sex isn't everything."

  "Wow. I never thought I'd hear a guy say that."

  "Don't get me wrong, when everything's going great, it's amazing. But sometimes, when things go bad, it's the last thing on your mind. Unless you're Damon. He fucks in good times and bad. I saw him bring a girl to his room the night before his father's funeral."

  Tegan winced. "Maybe he just wanted comfort."

  "Maybe, but we're not here to talk about Damon. What's got you worried about, you know, doing the deed with me?"

  Tegan smiled. Colton was trying his best to be there for her in his way.

  Most guys would have left after a girl refused to put out. Here he sat, looking sexy as sin, bathed in the light floating into her room, talking to her.

  "I lied to you when I said I'd had plenty of sex."

  Colton shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "I knew it! You don't seem the type to be whoring around. Especially with a bunch of Bluewolf men."

  Colton picked at the blanket. "So, uh, are you a virgin?"

  Tegan scoffed. "God no! Do you think I'd pick this setting to lose my virginity? Wait. I take that back. Losing my virginity was horrible."

  "Is that what you're worried about? That I'll suck?"

  Tegan exhaled. She hated how her past kept hindering her present. It'd gotten in the way of everything from work to her comfort level in public.

  Now it was affecting her relationship with the first man she'd ever been turned on by.

  "I've only ever slept with two guys. It was during my teens. Around that age, most Bluewolf women realize that their value lies in having a mate. While I didn't agree with them, I wanted to fit in.

  "So, I dated two guys and slept with both of them. The sex was...painful. And not just the first time. Every time. For a while, I thought I was the problem, but then I did some self-exploration and found out that wasn't the case.

  "My exes were just so rough, and I don't know that I'm ready to deal with that again. I mean, I'm older and more developed physically, but I'm just scared. Sorry for letting you down."

  Colton stretched out a hand to pat her knee. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm just glad you know you're not ready. I'd hate to force you into something."

  Tegan shook her head. "But that's the thing; I am ready. I want to, trust me."

  "Are your panties soaked?" Colton asked, smirking.

  Tegan clenched her thighs and groaned. "Yes. Stop making it worse."r />
  Colton got on both knees and crawled toward her slowly. He was a giant of a man, but his motions were fluid. He knelt before Tegan and cupped her cheek.

  "Then you have nothing to worry about. I'm not one of those assholes that only fucks like an animal, taking it from the back. I've got range and skills." Colton raised his chin. "I can take it slow if you want. I'm hard as a rock right now, but I can slow things down."

  Tegan couldn't help darting her eyes down to Colton's crotch. She gasped when she saw the bulge in his pants.

  He was huge. Probably bigger than her exes, though they'd been big, too.

  If I took that, I'm not sure I'd be able to walk tomorrow. It's been so long.

  Tegan looked up into Colton's eyes. There was a warmth behind them yet again. She had no idea why he was still here, promising her he'd take care of her, but she was glad he was. Her center clenched in anticipation of penetration like it had never done before.

  One thing was for sure. Tegan wanted Colton.

  Not only did she like him, but she was insanely turned on by him. It wasn't like she'd had great luck with men. If nothing else, she wanted to feel like an ordinary woman for once in her life.

  "You don't have to take it slow," Tegan said, smiling when she saw Colton's eyes widen. "Just don't get too rough. I want this to be fun for both of us."

  "Oh, it will." Colton leaned forward and kissed Tegan passionately, helping her lower herself onto the bed before crouching over her. "I want to make you feel good. Will you let me do that?"

  Colton's voice was unlike Tegan had heard it before. It was so gentle. Almost like he was scared he'd chase her off if he showed any of his usual aggression. Tegan didn't want him to hold back.

  "Fuck me, Colton," she whispered.

  This wasn't just about her. He needed to feel good, and Tegan wanted to be the one who made that happen.

  She lifted her head and kissed Colton's lips. He groaned and returned her kiss, quickly parting his lips and darting his tongue out, seeking entry into her mouth. Tegan obliged and moaned as soon as their tongues touched.

  It was a fiery dance that pulled down Tegan's walls of insecurity. Yes, she wasn't the most experienced, but Colton's groans and reactions to her touches told her that she was doing just fine.