Irish Eyes and Mafia Lies

by J Haney

  “Nolan! You’ve been told about that word. We don’t use it. Never ever and I mean ever again do you use that word. I’d hate to have to give you lashings.”

  With my tongue in my cheek, I can’t help but make it worse. “That ain’t so bad; ole’ Rory always called um porch monkeys. Ain’t never had problems, so I don’t speculate to call nobody nothin’. People is people.”

  Next thing I know I’m smacked by Noel. “If you can’t say something smart, don’t speak. You can’t tell a nine-year-old that kind of stuff. They will go around repeating it.” She turns to face Nolan. “You can’t say that either. No derogatory remarks in any way shape or form. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

  “Okay, you want to see inside? It’s not just a pretty landscape, which if you wanna add to you can. There’s room for a little garden if you got the thumb.” I park finally and get out, stretching my long legs.

  “N-Mom used to have a flower bed. She says they smell good, but I think they stink and attract too many bees.” Nolan says getting out.

  “They’re pretty too; don’t forget that.” Noel is now coming around the truck.

  “I was thinking more of the fruit and veggie type garden, but flowers are nice too.” I motion for them to follow me. On the front door is one of them lockboxes. Using the code, I get the key and hand it to Noel. “It’s your place. You do the honors.”

  She unlocks the door with a shaky hand and walks inside. We enter a living room scenario. There is a navy sectional and boxes all around, ottomans, shelves on the floor to be put up. There is even a forty-two inch flat screen. My girl Annesley did a right good job. There's a bonus in her future.

  Noel is biting her lip when she turns to me. “Where did all this come from?”

  “It’s not like you’d be movin’ in with nothin’. I made a few calls. You’re a family, and families have stuff. Hence stuff.” I put out my hand, and Nolan spots the new PlayStation 4 with virtual reality hookups, extra controllers and five ready to go games. He makes a dash for it. “Look, you gotta set up all-new Gamertags that’s the stipulation. Get me?”

  Nolan nods before running back and wrapping his arms around me. “Thank you.”

  “No problem kiddo.” I smile at Noel who’s watching us with one eye as she looks around with the other. “Look there’s a lot to do around here, and you’re gonna need food and supplies. Why don’t I go grab that, and you two can get acquainted with the place a bit?”

  “Thank you. Nolan, go look around.” Nolan runs off. “How much do I owe you for all this?”

  “I should have an itemized list of all purchases made by the end of the day, with receipts. Set up is gratis, and the actual work? That usually goes in at about two-hundred, but something tells me Rory would have my ass. So I’ll tell ya what. Pay my people, and we’ll call it square at fifteen.”

  “We’ll need to pawn the jewelry to be sure there’s enough. It’s all real. I hope that will cover everyone, but I’m not sure. I’ve also got cash, but I know we’ll need some just to live.”

  “Guess it’s a good thing I’m a pawnbroker and loan officer, then, huh? I’ll hold on to the jewelry, and we can come to a payment arrangement that is favorable for everyone.” I put my hand on her shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay.”

  Me and my soft spot for a pretty girl in distress.

  7 Onóra

  Alone. Rónán left after we unloaded our stuff from his car. He said we needed some more stuff, so he's off to do that while Finn and I get used to our new place. The walls are mostly white or cream except two. One wall in my room is gray, and the bathroom has dark blue along the top half. Finn is in his room, hanging up clothes while I work in the kitchen. Rónán really went out of the way. He's made sure we’d have everything we could possibly need.

  It's too quiet here. I don't like it. I'm not used to the quiet. There were always people coming and going. Our workers were always there. Now it's just Finn and me as well as the neighbors next door. I can hear two women chattering about what they’re having for dinner. The walls are thin, so we’ll have to be careful about what we say near any connecting walls. There are two entry doors and eight windows. All will need something over them as a warning. The windows will never be open as we have central heat and air, so something connected to them will be easy. The doors not so much.

  I’ve hardly gotten anything accomplished when Finn comes running into the kitchen. “Rónán’s back, I’m going to help him.”

  “Why don’t you work on your room and I’ll help him.”

  Finn’s shoulders slump. “Fine. You know N- you’re getting really good at this mom thing.”

  I set down the plates I was getting ready to put away. As I come around the counter, I wave Finn back to his room on my way to the door. I locked it after Rónán left so for him to get back in I’d have to unlock it. Looking out the window he’s standing on the porch, seems he knew I would be locking the door.

  “Sorry was having a disagreement with Nolan.” I say opening the door for Rónán.

  “It’s fine, really. “ He sidesteps as a fat tabby cat tries tripping him. “Fred, no!” He hollers as it waddles into the house, looking around like it owns the place. “I’m sorry. He’s nosy. I got some provisions and cleaning supplies. Mop, broom, Swifter.” Rónán sidesteps me and heads for the kitchen. “Seems you and he are gettin’ it figured out mighty fast.” The cat sits down and starts to scratch himself.

  “He’s doing-” Achoo. “Dammit, all to hell. Just set it in the kitchen.” I say, walking toward my bedroom.

  My old room was quadrupled what this one is. By the time I’ve got my bag open, and I’m pulling Benadryl out I’ve already started itching. Here come the hives. I’ve always hated this allergy. It really is a stupid one. My second downfall, cats with my first being Finn. I jump and scream as the furry thing rubs up against me.

  The door slams against the wall as Rónán appears, in his hand, the big kitchen knife. “What?” His eyes dart around and then down seeing the obese fleabag.

  “Can you get that thing out of here?” I ask starting to scratch all over. I can feel the hives as my hands glide over my skin.

  “Aye, Fred, come on ya basketball with legs.” Rónán picks him up, and his legs go out all stiff as he yowls. “Quit yer yammerin’ I got ya some nip.” He laughs walking by Finn who’s watching with a smile to his eyes. He gives the cat a scratch between the ears as it goes by.

  “To your room, NOW!” Damn kid! “Wash your hands before touching anything else.”

  “Can’t you told me to go to my room.”

  “UGH!!!!”

  I take my Benadryl pill then grab my cream out of my bag. I take my shirt off so I can get the cream on my body. Once I'm finished I change into a tank and some shorts. It’s my workout shorts, but they’ll have to work. I’m still scratching when I make it back to the kitchen.

  “Is the predator still here?”

  “Awe- he’s not a-” Rónán’s reply falls flat a moment as he’s putting food in the fridge. “Aren’t you-I don’t know? Cold? Er, um what I mean is hives tend to- to get hot, do you need something for it?” He looks me over, concerned.

  “I’ve done everything I can for now. In eight hours I’ll take another pill and hope by tomorrow I won’t look like a leper.” I let out a deep sigh. “Anything left in the car you need me to grab?”

  “I’m thinkin’ it be best the neighbors don’t see ya like that. Don't want them gettin’ the wrong impression of me, now do we?” He chuckles, closing the fridge. “Besides, I got it all well enough. Ordered you a couple of pizzas, a veggie and meat supreme, figure that ought to do ya for tonight. Monday we’ll go on over and get the boy squared up for school. The bus picks up at the end of the road, and the pt is right there too.”

  “PT? What are you talking about?”

  “Oh, right, princess… PT, Public Transit. You ain't got what you need for a car. Not yet anyhow, so it’s PT or
SLE for ya, till you get a j-o-b.”

  “I think I’ve hit my head or something because you are making zero sense.” I sit down in one of the chairs and start rubbing my head.

  “Just eat the food when it comes, wee bird. Make sure you get some rest. If ya need something, I’m only fifteen minutes up the road. Call me. Okay? I got to take care of some other things, so I’m going. You’re good here. Jaynet and Ainslee can help if you need it.”

  “I’m sure we’ll be fine. We’ve got lots to keep us occupied. Thank you for all your help.” I say getting up to finish putting the stuff away in the kitchen. The kitchen is plenty big enough for one but two, not so much.

  “Sure.” He turns toward me as he grabs another grocery bag. “I just couldn’t see leaving you two out in it. Ya know. Rory and your Pa, they was good friends at one point. They would have wanted you safe.”

  “He talked very highly of Rory. Used to tell me stories of him, my mom and Rory together. The stories are all I have left, that and look at Nolan.”

  I met Máire once, about ten years ago, almost. I guess she was pregnant with- anyhow your dad wanted to take you to England, Ireland, and Whales, before spending the remainder of the summer in Sicily. She was a great beauty, and very kind. I remember she had the kindest eyes.” He’s quet a moment, just staring at me. “Fuck me.” He laughs. “You know the Ballyeamon Cradle Song… I heard you sing it to him last night.”

  “Of course I do. My mom used to sing it to me every night. Now I sing it to him.”

  “You don’t remember me? Or the big house, you played in the butterfly garden. I took you out on the jet ski that afternoon. You couldn’t have been more than five or six.”

  “I was seven; I’m almost eight years older than him. I’ve blocked out a lot from that time. After she passed, they made me go through therapy because I acted out. Dad didn’t know what to do with me and a toddler.”

  “Losin’ yer mum can do that to a kid. I get it. Never did know my pa, but when mum died… If it wasn’t for Rory, I’d have been toast a long time ago.” He looks around just as the doorbell rings. Checking his watch. “That would be your dinner.” He has me sort of pinned as he crosses me and backs out of the kitchen space heading for the door.

  8 Rónán

  Kids. I tried to skip when the pizza came. It was the perfect escape route. She was all set to let me go, then the boy came out the room, and I was caught. Suddenly it was, but Rónán aren’t you staying for dinner? With the girls next door just coming back in, I was on the spot and had to keep up appearances. Even if they were for a pizza delivery guy and a couple of nosy lesbians.

  Here I am two hours, four slices of pizza and three levels of Call of Duty later, and my escape is nowhere in sight. I’ve built Nolan’s entire bedroom from the ground up so he could play. He’s got a loft bed to go with the twelve-foot ceiling and under it a futon couch with tv stand and a flat-screen to hook up his gaming console. It’s all-natural dark wood, with navy blues and reds. Nothing specific, as I don’t know the boy; not really.

  “Do you want to do the extracurriculars over the summer?” I ask him, school is pretty much over in a month, so it’s more about getting him set up for the fall, and any summer programs to get him matriculated faster.

  “We were involved in sports. This was N-mom’s last year. She was the all-star in volleyball and softball. Though if you ask her, she hated basketball and soccer. I liked everything but was too small for football. We had karate three days a week and boxing two. I don’t know what we’ll do now. I hope mom’s anger doesn’t get the best of her.”

  Christ, I feel like a juvenile delinquent compared to these kids. I suppose I was. I was left to my own devices, short of the computer and boxing clubs, everything else is self-taught with a touch of Rory’s guiding hand. “Be a jack-of-all-trades, and you will fall seamlessly into all things.” I whisper Rory’s mantra to m’self. “We’ll get you sorted. I know the grammar has basketball and baseball over the summer and there’s a Dojo in Gilbertsville if you don't mind changing up your training to Tae-Kwon- Do.”

  “I don’t mind, but mom might. What’s she going to do? Does she get to finish school or go to college?”

  “Don’t worry about me but I think it’s time for shower and bed for you.” Noel says breaking the conversation by coming into the room.

  “But we were having fun, right?”

  “No buts. Do as your told.” As quick as she came, she’s gone.

  “Go on; I’ll look into the programs this weekend. We’ll present a full report for her Monday. Okay?” I assure him as I get up to go.

  He rolls his eyes, yup normal nine-year-old. “Whatever.”

  If he didn’t see me twitch. I shake my head and am out the bedroom door. I hit the toilet before trying to make my daring escape. Making my way into the living room, I find Noel has figured out how she plans to organize things. Good on her, she needed to work that out for herself. Give her a sense of accomplishment; small steps.

  “So- It looks good.” I say, grabbing my jacket.

  “Thanks, it’s getting there, but it’s still got a long way to go. If you’re going, you better go before he comes out of the shower and asks you to play more games. He loves them, but I can’t stand them so for him you’ve become a pal.”

  “I don’t know about Jaynet, but Ainslee played volleyball in college, they could set up a net out back, give you something to get into?”

  She clears her throat and cracks her neck at the same time. “I’m fine, I don’t have time for that, and even if I did, I'm a mom now. I should be doing mom things.”

  “Physical activity is all the rage and trust me. The neighbors won’t be complain’.” I shrug as I open the door. “G’night.”

  “I’ll think about it. Goodnight.” She starts off strong, but by the time she finishes talking, I can hear the fearful kid.

  I didn’t want to leave them, but they aren’t really my responsibility. I mean I have taken on way more than Rory ever would have. Right? Am I doing this the right way, or am I endangering me and them by keeping them close? The house is rigged. Inside and out with cameras. Three-sixty views from every fire alarm. I watch, and I drive. She didn’t eat much while I was there, but now she’s stuffing her face with pizza and chips. Nolan has the lights off but the games still going, we may need to put a parental timer lock on it, just so he’ll sleep.

  I feel like such an ass. I made sure Nolan had everything set up, but not wanting to encroach on her things I left her room alone. It isn’t until I get home that I realize her bed? It’s still in pieces! Or rather was- oop, nope still in pieces! There she goes down again. She thought she had it, made the thing, and laid on it for a second before BAM! Down they went. She’s just lying there now, box spring and mattress on the rug looking awful mad. There’s no audio, but I can imagine the profane things she’s saying as her arms and legs flail to her angry rant like a rabid honey badger.

  I can’t help but chuckle as I watch her pull the blanket over her head while burying her face in a big fluffy pillow. If Nolan doesn’t come in, I’m to assume she does this often. One. Two. Three… A conniption fit for me. Joy.

  ***

  Monday, Funday. After watching and helping Noel and Nolan settle into my old place all while keeping Fred as far from them as possible, it is now time to deal with school. What a fiasco! Whatever cunt decided enrolling a kid was to be a three-ring circus really needs to eat a bag of dicks. Not one, not two the whole bloody fucking bag! Immunization this, physical exam that. Check him for lice, and strep, mononucleosis. A tetanus shot. Fortunately, Doc McHale, the old geezer that took care of me as a welp is very much still in business, and when I told him my cousins were new in town, he was apt to help.

  Nolan is being a champ even as they make him stand behind a curtain and cough for the first time. Poor kid. I remember this awkward physical. It doesn’t get any better with age. Wait till it’s a female nurse and he gets a rager. I can’t help but crack a s
mile as we wait for him to get finished and get his shots.

  I get poked in the side by Noel. “Would you stop?” She grits to me.

  “Sorry.” I bite my lip. He comes out, and they do the blood work and give him the shots. He takes it in stride, though I do see that lone tear escape. “Okay, who’s up for some Cracker Barrel?” I say helping Nolan off the exam table.

  “Oh, that sounds nice. If not carb heavy.” Doc McHale smiles. “Should have this all filled out and him ready to go by Wednesday, Ro.”

  “Thanks, Doc.” I look back at them. “So? Food?”

  “So he can’t go back to school till Wednesday? There’s what three weeks left?” Noel asks as we’re walking out.

  “I always want food.” Nolan interrupts.

  “You can eat at home.”

  “We’re like half an hour from there; Cracker Barrel is right across the street. We ain't even got to move the car for parking.” I say urgingly. “I didn’t eat much this morning, thought we’d be done by now, come on. Ain't ya ever had down home-cookin'?”

  “Our down-home cooking and yours are entirely different, I’m sure.”

  “Come walk on the wild side.” I wink taking her by the hand and leading her across the parking lot expanse.

  9 Onóra

  What in the name of God is he trying to feed us? Finn decides on the sunrise sampler which gives him everything, and he adds a stack of buttermilk pancakes. Me, I’m still trying to decide. Rónán is still looking so I guess he’s still deciding.

  “Do you want me to order for you?” He raises an eyebrow. “When in doubt, get samplers and sides.” He smiles at the waitress. “Gimme two over-medium eggs with grits, hash brown casserole and sugar-cured ham. Also gonna take a side order of fried catfish fillet, fried chicken tenderloins, bacon, and smoked sausage patties. I want buttermilk biscuits, and you can smother it with sawmill gravy. To drink, I'll take hot tea with milk.”

  I give Finn’s order then I order. “I’ll take the chicken tenderloins with broccoli, baked potato, and a house salad, please. Oh, he’ll have milk to drink, and I’ll take a coke.”