With My Last Breath, Book Three

by Cori Chaffee

  The smell from the dungeons was moldy and stale and my nose automatically wrinkled. It was eerily quiet. Nothing moved, even the air was still. It was as though we were walking through a paused movie. It was the strangest feeling.

  Ares shoved his fist through the metal keyhole of the gate and it tumbled impotently to the floor, clanging loudly against the stone. He pushed the gates open and motioned for us to continue through.

  ‚Ladies first,' he grinned.

  I rolled my eyes and walked past, anxious to find Lucan. He should not be in this place. This was a place for murderers and thieves.

  The darkness down here was blinding- it took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust.

  Torches were few and far between. I could hear Hecate muttering beneath her breath, Courtney Cole 89

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  but I couldn’t understand what she was saying and frankly, at this point, I just didn’t care. My sole focus was on Lucan.

  Turning into a long, damp hallway, we began looking into cells. Dank and dark, these were miserable little holes used for housing the scourge of Camelot’s society. I cringed away from the walls. Inside each cell, a dirty, hardened criminal was frozen.

  Some were chained in corners, some were hanging in chains from the ceiling and one, a particularly dangerous looking man, was standing frozen with his fingers wrapped around his cell bars. His legs were manacled and bleeding onto the floor. His icy blue eyes stared sightlessly at me and I unconsciously moved away.

  ‚He’s here!' Ares called from the front. I hurried to catch up.

  Breaking through the cell doors, Ares rushed inside. I gasped as I turned the corner to follow him. My beloved was dangling in mid-air, his wrists bleeding as the manacles cut into his skin. His face was bruised and blood dripped down his bare toes onto the stone bricks.

  Tears welled up as I rushed to him, my eyes stinging. Ares was already lowering him from the ceiling onto the floor.

  ‚Wake him,' he implored to Hecate. ‚Wake him and leave here. Don’t awaken anyone else until you have passed the palace gates.'

  She nodded. ‚That’s the plan, war god. I can only keep time still for so long, but a few more minutes shouldn’t be a problem.'

  I knelt next to my husband, stroking his battered face.

  ‚Why did they do this?' I whispered. ‚Why did they beat him? He’s a valued knight. Arthur loves him.'

  ‚Arthur loved him,' Guinevere corrected. ‚He doesn’t love anything anymore.

  Everything has changed, daughter.'

  Cold fingers curled around my belly. ‚I can’t leave you here, then,' I murmured to her while I stroked Lucan’s bloody hand. ‚What will he do to you?'

  ‚Nothing,' she replied, meeting my gaze calmly. ‚He will do nothing to me. You were the one who healed the boy. He has no reason to suspect that I am anything other than his wife.'

  ‚But you said that he doesn’t love anything now. What about you? He loved you more than life.'

  She shook her head sadly. ‚He’s empty, dear one. He loves nothing. He has been hardened to the world. But he won’t harm me- I’ve given him no reason. Just find the sword and return so that we can fix this atrocity. No one here deserves this.'

  I nodded, listening to Hecate mumbling her incantations as she hovered over my husband.

  ‚There is one detail,' Hecate muttered, looking up at me, ‚That I haven’t told you.'

  ‚And that is?'

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  ‚He cannot remember you. If I bring him back just as he is, he would never leave here. He would stay to try and clear his name. I will take his memories and return them to him later.'

  Dejection filled the pit of my stomach, heavy and cold. I was sick of being in positions where my husband didn’t remember me. He was mine and he should know that he was mine. But I understood the need for it now and nodded silently. Hecate returned her attention to Lucan.

  ‚Awake,' she whispered finally. ‚Awake, awake, awake.'

  His eyes opened, his beautiful warm, dark eyes. He focused on me since I was directly in front of him. There was not an ounce of recognition in his gaze and I steeled myself, feeling overwhelmed by déjà vu. I had been in this situation once before in Eris’

  house in the Spiritlands.

  He stared at all of us in turn, remaining still and silent on the cold, stone floor as he studied his surroundings. Finally, he spoke.

  ‚What are we doing here?'

  Hecate answered him calmly with a question. ‚Do you know who you are?'

  He shook his head. ‚And I do not know you, either. Should I?'

  She smiled gently, patting his hand. ‚Not right now, but you will later. For now, we need to move. Can you walk?'

  He gingerly stretched his injured limbs, flinching just a little from the pain before he quickly masked it. His warrior’s heart had not changed. He was not going to allow us to see how much he hurt. I wanted to smile, but didn’t. Nothing about this situation was funny. My soul mate had been beaten within an inch of his life and he didn’t remember me. It wasn’t funny at all.

  I rushed forward to offer my assistance while he stood, but he shrugged me off. I should have expected that- he would never lean on a woman, even when he didn’t remember who he was. He picked himself off of the floor and stood quietly, assessing each of us with clear eyes.

  ‚Let us go,' Hecate suggested. ‚We need to hurry.'

  Lucan didn’t ask any questions, he simply accompanied us up and out of the dungeon and through the palace until we stood outside in the darkened courtyard. As we passed a commons area, we found soldiers frozen in mid-movement- armor dangling in midair, horses halted mid-step. Lucan turned to us in amazement and confusion.

  ‚What is going on here? What is this?' he asked, gesturing with his arm. ‚What trickery is this?'

  ‚It’s no trickery,' I replied quietly. ‚But there is no time to explain. We’ll explain it from the safety of the road.'

  He studied me for a moment before offering me a curt nod.

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  ‚Very well.'

  We hurried into the stables and saddled three horses. Aphrodite and Ares lingered inside the stable doors, watching us prepare. Reagan was frozen mid-stroke as he wiped down a damp horse. Beads of sweat ran down its great head and dripped onto the floor, several drops frozen in the air.

  As we mounted, Ares spoke.

  ‚Hurry, daughter. Return as soon as you can.'

  I gave him a droll look. ‚Obviously.'

  As we passed my parents, my mother grabbed Celine’s bridle and leaned up toward me. ‚Be careful, sweetling,' she murmured. ‚Hurry back.'

  I nodded, bending to brush a kiss across her cheek.

  Hecate looked back at me.

  ‚Are you ready? We must hurry. I cannot hold it back any longer.'

  ‚Yes. Let us ride.'

  We nudged our horses into a run and we galloped through the commons and out the palace doors. I felt Celine’s strength welling in her thick muscles beneath me as she surged forward, her ears flicking from time to time. Even the horses sensed that something was amiss.

  When we were halfway down the mountain, I heard the castle above us erupt into noise. The spell had been broken- time was unfrozen and everyone was awake. It was a jarring comparison, showing just how quiet it really had been while everyone was silent.

  Lucan glanced sideways at me, giving me a long look as we rode hard to escape the palace.

  ‚Can you explain now, my lady?' he called.

  ‚Yes,' I called back. ‚Just as soon as I think of something to say.'

  He threw his head back and laughed, a sound that warmed my soul. No matter what we had to go through or how many times he didn’t remember me, he was the same and so was I. That was all that mattered.

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>
  Chapter Fifteen

  We sat around a flickering campfire, the orange and red flames licking upwards toward the night and I stared at Lucan’s face through them. Without his knowledge, Hecate had bewitched our horses’ legs, enabling them to carry us farther than humanly possible away from the castle grounds. He didn’t even notice, engrossed in my feeble attempts to explain our predicament away.

  In the darkness, Hecate nudged me.

  ‚Here,' she pushed something toward me. ‚Drink this. We’ll need you at full strength.'

  I glanced down at a gleaming nickel flask. She had brought nectar from the Spiritlands. Drinking it would maintain my immortal strength… and oh, how I wished I could share it with Lucan. But glancing at him, I knew that I could not. His face was pensive as he reflected across the campfire. He wasn’t ready to hear the truth.

  ‚When should we tell him?' I whispered, confident that the crackles and pops of the fire would hide my question from him.

  ‚Not yet,' she replied thoughtfully. ‚Not yet.'

  I nodded as I lifted the flask to my lips, taking a sip of the sumptuous liquid.

  Spiritlands nectar was the most delicious substance in the world, even if it was created from the blood of the unborn. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the overwhelming sensations as my strength returned to my limbs. I felt it flowing in my blood, warm and fierce.

  ‚So where are we going?' Lucan asked. I opened my eyes to find him watching me, his dark eyes sharp and perceptive. I should have known. He never missed anything.

  I rose from the blanket that I was seated on and crossed to his side, perching in the sand next to him. The wind gently blew, wafting his scent in my direction, and it was all I could do not to launch myself into his arms.

  ‚We must travel to Brittany,' I explained. ‚There is something there that we feel the King needs.'

  ‚And how would you know what the king needs?' Lucan asked me with a raised eyebrow.

  ‚I just do,' I murmured. ‚Can you trust me?'

  He stared down at me, the bronzed angles of his face catching the firelight. His eyes were so deep that I felt I could fall into them.

  ‚Possibly,' he answered. ‚I feel as though I should, but I have nothing to base that feeling on.'

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  ‚Knights must often trust their instincts, correct?' He had told me as much many times.

  ‚But alas, you have told me that I am no longer a knight,' he answered dejectedly.

  ‚And I cannot remember why.'

  ‚It is through no fault of your own,' I assured him. ‚And we will work hard to put things to rights. Your assistance will be of utmost help.'

  He nodded. ‚And you will have it. I shall do what I can.'

  My heart ached at the pain on his face. My soul mate was loyalty and honor at its finest. It must be crushing him now to believe that the king had dismissed him from duty. I longed to reach out and stroke the pain away, to hold him close, but I swallowed hard instead, gripping my own hands in my lap. I must not.

  ‚I think I will turn in,' I said as I rose. ‚We will have a long ride in the morning.'

  Hecate and Lucan also rose and made preparations to sleep. We encircled our campground in a ring of fire in order to keep wolves away while we slept and laid our thick saddle blankets on the ground to sleep on.

  ‚I’ll take first watch,' Lucan offered. ‚I am not tired yet, anyway.'

  From the weary lines on his face, I knew he was lying. But it would do no good to argue. He would never let a woman take first watch.

  ‚Very well,' I answered. ‚Thank you. I’ll take it second.'

  I snuggled down into my saddle blanket and tried to sleep, ignoring the horse smell that emanated from it. Pulling my cloak around me, I discreetly watched Lucan. He stared into the night with alert eyes, studying any small noise with the utmost care. He held a sword on his lap. No matter where we were, he made me feel safe.

  I meant to stay awake as well, but the warmth of the fire lulled me to sleep. My eyelids became so heavy that I simply couldn’t hold them open. But no sooner had I closed them, then I was standing in the Wastelands.

  The harsh wind shrieked around me and the whiteness was startling… swirling with shades of black and gray. It was the strangest place I’d ever been. The cold penetrated me from the outside in and I stood shivering as I watched for Cadmus.

  ‚Where are you?' I called into the vast empty space. ‚You’ve called me here…

  where are you?'

  There was no answer but for the howl of the wind. I pulled my cloak more tightly around my face.

  ‚Cadmus!' I called. ‚Please answer me! I don’t like it here.'

  ‚No one does,' a voice replied. I turned and found Ahmose standing behind me.

  His black eyes glittered as he perused me.

  ‚Cadmus is no longer here,' he told me, staring at me as though I should have already known.

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  ‚Where is he?' I asked, my heart leaping into my throat. ‚Where did he go? And if he’s not here, who brought me here? You?'

  Ahmose nodded. ‚Yes, I brought you here, Harmonia. Everything has been changed. Have I taught you nothing over the years?'

  ‚I don’t understand,' I whimpered. ‚What do you mean?'

  ‚You changed everything,' Ahmose repeated sternly. ‚Everything that has happened is because of your carelessness. How could you let Lachesis know that you were in Camelot, that you knew everything? How could you be so careless?'

  ‚Wait… did you know?' Something in his voice told me that he did.

  ‚Of course I did. I’ve been with you for a very long time. I knew, but I was willing to be patient and wait until you trusted me enough to tell me. But you didn’t and now everything is in ruins.'

  ‚Don’t say that!' I shouted. ‚I’m going to fix it. Everything.'

  He shook his head sadly. ‚I don’t know that you can. Even a tiny ripple in time has massive consequences. I’ve told you that before. But this… this is no ripple. This is a jagged tear. Everything has been changed. There is no comprehending the consequences from this.'

  ‚Can I trust you?' I asked him. ‚They kill you, you know. Eventually, they will torture you to your death.'

  ‚Yes,' he murmured. ‚I know. I always knew it. They will torture me because I will protect you. I saw that long ago,' he shrugged. ‚But that will not happen now.

  Not unless you manage to change our current course. Are you willing to do that?'

  ‚Of course I’m willing!' I snapped. ‚I will do whatever it takes. Can you tell me what to do?'

  ‚No,' he replied. ‚But I can give you something. Something that I already gave you and you allowed it to slip back into their grasp.'

  ‚The box!' I gasped.

  He nodded. ‚Yes. The box of murderous souls. This will be the second time that I sacrifice myself for you, Keeper. When they realize that it is gone and that I am missing, they will realize what I have done. And they will hunt me down until they find me. Fix this before that happens,' he implored me. ‚Save us all.'

  ‚Cadmus is in this box,' he told me. ‚His soul will be in your hands. If something happens to it while he is separated from his body, it will permanently be so. Take great care.'

  My heart pounded loudly. Cadmus was in the box.

  ‚What do I do?' I cried. ‚What am I supposed to do with the box?'

  He thrust it into my hands. ‚Save us all,' he answered simply.

  ‚I want to. I’ll try, but…'

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  But he was gone. I was standing in the Wastelands alone and there was no one left to answer my questions. I clutched the intricate carved black box and closed my eyes, willing myself to wake.

  And then I was. I opened my eyes to the blackness of night in Camelot. The box of souls was in my hands.
I stroked the textured top. My husband’s soul was trapped in my hands and there was currently nothing I could do about it. I’d never felt so helpless in my life. I lay still for a few minutes, trying to collect myself.

  ‚Are you awake?' Lucan asked softly from his vantage point across the fire.

  I sat up and nodded. ‚Yes. I… grew cold. I couldn’t sleep.' I opened my knapsack and placed the box gently inside.

  ‚I’m not tired,' he told me. ‚Feel free to try to go back to sleep. You should rest.

  As you said, tomorrow will be long and tiresome.'

  I studied him, my heart heavy in my chest. He was so beautiful and strong. And if I couldn’t think of what to do or how to save us, then everything that he was would end here in this life. Once he died here, since his soul was trapped in a box, he would be no more. And what a horrible, horrible tragedy that would be for the world. He was a beautiful person.

  ‚I don’t think I can,' I replied. ‚I’m so cold. Do you… do you mind if I come and sit by you so that I can share your warmth?'

  He looked at me for a moment, studying my face. What I had requested was very brazen for these times, something a lady would never do. But I wasn’t a lady. I was a goddess and I would do whatever the hell I felt like doing.

  ‚Of course,' he finally replied. ‚You may share my warmth.'

  Picking up my knapsack, I crept to his side and settled in, curling up next to him with my bag clutched in my arms. Being here, next to this man who normally knew me better than I even knew myself, was comforting. It was like being home. And to a girl who had traveled through a thousand different lives and bodies over the years, it was heaven. I closed my eyes and slept.

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  Chapter Sixteen

  The sound of a dry twig breaking woke me and my eyes popped open. I was alone, both Lucan and Hecate were nowhere to be found. I sat straight up, the box of souls still in my arms, as looked around.