“I believe that must be Eleanor’s marvelous lasagna I smell. I’ve been hoping to convince your mother to make it. You’ll absolutely love her recipe.” She turned to Eleanor. “Thank you, dearie, for your hard work.” She surprised Eleanor with a quick peck on the cheek before moving to where Jana stood. “And are you feeling better today?”
“Yes, thank you. The bed was so very comfortable.”
“Goose down!”
The declaration left Jana staring wide-eyed, but Taffy wasn’t in the least bit concerned. “The top mattress is goose down. I think it always adds a special touch for sleeping.”
“Well, it definitely did the trick for me. I told Mother it was the first decent sleep I’ve had in some time.”
Eleanor put the salad on the table. “Dinner is ready if you are.”
“I’m very ready. Come, Jana. Let’s sit down and Eleanor can serve us. She hates it when there are too many people in the kitchen.”
Eleanor wanted to comment but didn’t. Instead, she went after the lasagna and brought it to the table. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve poured iced tea for each of us.”
“That’s perfect,” Taffy said. “I once had red wine with lasagna and thought it a beastly combination. I’ve never taken to spirits like some. Of course, in Washington, D.C., spirits accompanied every meal and conversation.” She pulled out her napkin from under the silver and gave it a firm shake. “Shall we pray?”
Eleanor watched as her aunt bowed her head and began to thank God for the food. The woman appeared genuinely refreshed and joy-filled from her time spent in church. Prayers poured naturally from her lips, and the gratitude Taffy felt came from a heart of sincerity that Eleanor could not understand. Looking across the table, Eleanor realized Jana was staring directly at her. Neither woman had bowed her head to pray. It seemed as if Jana were declaring her feud with God and wanted Eleanor to know where she stood.
“Amen,” Taffy said, then looked up. “Now, where was I? Oh yes. Washington. My, but you saw a lot of well-dressed women in that town. The colors were very dull and dark until Jackie Kennedy arrived. Oh, but that woman possessed a sense of fashion that put us all to disgrace. It was as if we’d never truly known how to dress until she came along.”
“You knew Jackie Kennedy?” Jana asked in surprise.
“Oh, mercy yes. We were still in Washington, and Cal, my late husband, was quite good at riding a fence. He played it safe in politics but also got exactly what he wanted. He was such a supreme diplomat that President Kennedy used him in foreign positions. We were actually in Greece for a time, and later we journeyed to Italy.”
“I had no idea,” Jana said as she took a roll from the basket and passed it to her aunt.
“I shall simply have to get you caught up.” Taffy took the salad Eleanor offered and smiled. “I see you’ve chosen to impress Jana with your feta and black olive salad.”
“I’m not trying to impress anyone,” Eleanor replied in a clipped tone. “It’s simply what I serve with lasagna. I find the flavors are very complementary.”
“Indeed they are,” Taffy agreed, passing the bowl to Jana. “You do like feta, don’t you?”
“I love it.”
Eleanor wasn’t sure why, but her daughter’s answer pleased her. Perhaps it was because it seemed a tiny connection to the child she’d never allowed herself to know.
“I feel I know so little about you, Aunt Taffy. Did you have any children?” Jana asked as she began to poke at the romaine leaves.
“We were never blessed with children of our own. It was probably for the best because for so many years we were always on the run. Politics is such a consuming game to play, and my Cal played it very well. Perhaps too well. He was quite widely liked by both the men and the ladies.” Taffy took a sip of her iced tea. “No, God never gave us our own babies, but He gave us Ellie, and that filled the void in my heart.”
Eleanor wanted to crawl under the table. She saw the confusion on Jana’s face and knew she would ask the question.
“Who’s Ellie?”
It was innocent enough. Eleanor had never explained her childhood to Jana, nor even told her about Taffy until the day she’d decided to come and live with the aging woman.
Taffy laughed as if Jana’s question were silly. “Why, your mother, of course.”
Eleanor met Jana’s eyes. They had a definite look of questioning, but also of something else. It almost looked like regret. “I didn’t know you had raised my mother.”
“Oh, she was mostly raised when she came to live with us at fourteen, but it was a blessing to me nevertheless. She was such a sweet girl—pretty too. I loved spoiling her. Why, I remember—”
“Would anyone care for butter?” Eleanor interrupted. She extended the butter dish in Taffy’s direction but couldn’t help but look back to Jana.
Her expression was accusing now. Almost as if she had nearly come to understand something of great importance only to have her mother snatch it away.
Well, let her think what she will. I won’t have the past bandied around at the dinner table. There’s no need for it. Not now. Not ever.
Twelve
After a week in the great rambling house, Jana decided it was time to call a family meeting. She needed to explain a few things, not the least of which was her pregnancy.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she told her mother and great-aunt, “but I felt it important to share a few things with you. That’s why I’ve asked you to join me for a few minutes.” They took their seats around the large dining room table. It seemed the most appropriate place to gather.
“I hope you are going to announce your desire to have a party,” Taffy said with a broad smile. “I wanted to host one for your arrival, but your mother thought it might be best to wait.”
Jana nodded. “Mother was right.” It was hard to concede even those few words of approval toward her mother. All week the woman had gone out of her way to avoid Jana. She seemed very unhappy with the entire arrangement, and rather than start a fight over the issues at hand, Eleanor had chosen instead to make herself scarce.
“Well, if we’re not to host a party for you, then what’s on your mind?” Taffy smoothed out the crocheted lace of the dining room tablecloth but looked directly at Jana.
“I feel I owe you a bit of explanation,” Jana began. “I’ve told you very little about the things that happened to me in Spokane, but in truth, I don’t know much more than you do.” She looked down at the cup of tea her mother had given her a moment before. It had been a thoughtful gesture, almost one that suggested the offering of comfort, but Jana was convinced her mother had no such notion.
“I thought things were wonderful between Rob and me. We had a good life in Spokane.” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “The first part of the year, the church started talking about having several of us go over to Africa, where we had an established mission group. We were to go and assist their ministries, experience how things were done, and then return and share with the church. The purpose was to stir up support and understanding for what our missionaries are up against.
“Rob said it would be impossible for him to go because the timing for the trip coincided with another event that we had previously scheduled at the church. Rob felt it was important for him to remain there and fulfill the duties related to this event.” Jana paused and looked up. Her mother’s expression was stoic, neither showing interest nor concern. Taffy, on the other hand, looked very caught up.
“Go on, sweetheart. What happened then? Did you go to Africa?”
“Yes. I went for three weeks. It was a marvelous experience, something I’ll never forget . . . for so many reasons. The people were incredible.”
Taffy nodded knowingly. “Cal and I once spent time in Zambia. I know exactly what you mean.”
“Well—” Jana took a deep breath—“while I was there, I got sick. I figured I had food poisoning or had failed to use bottled water at some point. I kept throwing up and final
ly went to the refugee camp doctor, a wonderful man from Great Britain. He examined me and told me the truth about my condition.”
“Which was what?” her mother asked, as if the conversation finally interested her.
“I’m pregnant,” Jana replied flatly.
“How marvelous!” Taffy exclaimed. “We’re going to have a baby! Jana, this pleases me to no end.”
But Jana was watching her mother’s face. Her expression changed from indifferent to hostile. “Get an abortion,” she said without emotion.
Jana had no time to reply. Her shock was so great that she stared openmouthed at her mother. Taffy picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and actually threw it at Eleanor. It smacked her in the arm before landing on the floor with a thump. Eleanor looked at Taffy in stunned silence.
“You mind your manners, missy. You have no right to say such a hideous thing. If you can’t behave yourself, you might as well take yourself to your room.” Taffy was more serious than Jana had ever seen her.
“She’s in the middle of a divorce,” Eleanor said frankly. She looked at her aunt and then back to Jana. “You can’t possibly know how awful it is to raise a child on your own, but I do.”
“You scarcely raised me. I was at boarding schools and with nannies more than I was with you. Why, I wouldn’t have even known I had a mother if you’d had your way about it.”
Eleanor folded her arms across her chest. “And that probably would have been best for both of us.”
“Stop it, you two. I won’t have this. I want to hear the rest of Jana’s story.” Taffy’s disgust was evident.
“Very well,” Jana’s mother said but offered nothing more.
Jana tried to gather her thoughts. “Well, I decided not to call Rob from the airport on the way home in London. I wanted to tell him face-to-face. By the time I got home, I was close to three months along. I stepped off the plane expecting to find my husband waiting, maybe even some people from the church—but there was no one. At least no one waiting for me.”
She paused long enough to sip at the tea. She wasn’t sure how much to say or not say about Rob and Kerry. Her aunt deserved to know everything, but Jana resented sharing anything with her mother.
She put the teacup down and drew a deep breath. “I got a cab home, thinking there must have been some sort of emergency that had kept Rob away. You know—someone in the hospital or a death in the church. When I got home, however, I found a note from Rob on the coffee table.”
Jana felt a lump rise in her throat. “It said nothing more than the fact that Rob had left me for his secretary, Kerry Broadbent, and that he’d already arranged for a divorce. Needless to say, I was stunned. Here I thought everything was fine.”
“That’s usually the way it goes,” her mother muttered.
“Go on, dear,” Taffy encouraged.
“Well, that wasn’t the end of it. I went to the bank and found that Rob had taken all of our savings. My savings, really. I’d put in all my birthday and Christmas money from you, Aunt Taffy, and I’d saved good portions of my salary from when I was working. Rob took all of it, plus anything of salable value in the house.” She paused, not wanting to confess about the jewelry. “He even took the jewelry you gave me.”
“The scoundrel! How very thoughtless.”
“He ran off with his bimbo secretary,” Eleanor declared. “What else did you expect?”
“I don’t know, Mother, but I didn’t expect this.” Jana knew there was no logic or reasoning in her situation, and those were the two things her mother demanded at all times.
“And you didn’t see this coming? Be reasonable, Jana. There are always signs,” her mother said in disbelief.
Jana shook her head. “I honestly thought we were happy. We planned this baby. Rob talked about how he hoped we would have a son—someone to carry on his family name. And Rob wasn’t gone long hours. He didn’t show up with lipstick on his collar or someone else’s perfume on his clothes. He was affectionate . . . supported me. I honestly found no reason to harbor any doubts about our marriage.”
“What about the other woman?” her mother asked. “You said she was the secretary at the church. Surely you had dealings with her as well.”
Jana nodded. “I did. She was openly friendly with me. It wasn’t like she snuck around when I’d show up at the church or that she tried to avoid me. She was sort of sad to be around, but I’d heard that she was unhappy in her marriage.”
“Well, that should have been a warning.”
“I don’t know why it should have been a warning for me any more than when another church member left her husband and filed for divorce. It didn’t seem to have anything to do with me or with Rob directly, except that she was a part of our church family and we cared that she was hurting.”
“Apparently Rob cared a little more than he should have,” her mother said snidely.
“Well, be that as it may,” Jana said, unable to keep the annoyance from her voice, “no one at the church knew it was coming either. Neither did Kerry’s husband, although he admits knowing she was unhappy.”
“So what’s your plan now?”
Jana looked to her mother. “I plan to get a job as soon as possible and get out on my own.”
“There’s no need for that,” Taffy protested. “There’s plenty of room here, and I have more than enough money to see you and the baby well cared for. Your mother won’t take any help from me, so the least you could do is let me assist you in this way.”
Eleanor voiced her exasperation and disapproval. “Taffy, you may well need your money in the years to come.”
Taffy laughed and shook her head. “I’m almost eighty years old. I have stock dividends that are paying me well, despite the economy going up and down. I have money in the bank that I don’t know what to do with, especially now that I’ve sold all my other properties.”
“I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I get the impression that Mom thinks I came here to use the two of you, but it isn’t true. I’ll work around the house and care for myself. Or I can stay in my room all day if that will please her.” Jana looked to Eleanor, feeling more contempt for her mother than she had in some time.
“There’s no need for any of that. This is my house,” Taffy said with a tone of authority. “I’ve invited you to live here the rest of your days, if you so choose, just as I did your mother. It’s a free gift, one that I gladly offer. I’m blessed with plenty, and it does me much good to bless you in return. Besides, before your mother came here, I was lonely. It will be good to have you and a new baby in the house. We’re getting much too old and frumpy without young people around us. Don’t you agree, Eleanor?” She looked at Eleanor as if daring her to contradict her statement.
“I don’t think being reserved and living quietly is the same as being old and frumpy,” Eleanor said, taking the challenge. “And frankly, I think a baby will disrupt the lives of everyone around it.”
“Like I did?” Jana asked bitterly. “This isn’t about the baby, is it? It’s about me. You might as well say it. You don’t want me here.”
“Ladies, I refuse to have combat at my dining room table,” Taffy interjected. “The matter isn’t open to discussion. Jana, you are welcome to stay here as long as you like. You needn’t worry about money. We’ll go tomorrow, just you and me if need be, and set up a checking account for you. You think about how much money you need monthly, and remember you won’t have rent or utilities or food to pay for. You will, however, need new clothes and personal articles, things for the baby. Do you have health insurance? Probably not, eh? We will work out the details of your medical expenses as well. You are not to worry—simply have a wonderful time anticipating your baby. Oh, what fun! You can plan an entire nursery.”
“You don’t have to do that. I’m perfectly capable of working.”
“I won’t have it. You need time to recover from this tragedy in your life. I’ll help you in whatever way I can—pay for the lawyer or anything else that
needs to be done.”
Jana could see that none of this boded well with her mother, and in that moment a spirit of defiance rose up in Jana’s heart. Her mother didn’t want her to take Taffy’s money. Her mother didn’t want her here. This would be a definite sore spot—a thorn in her side—but Jana didn’t care. “Thank you, Aunt Taffy. I’m blessed that someone cares. I know my baby will be blessed because of it too.” She refused to look at her mother, but Jana knew she was seething.
****
Jana finished arranging her things in the Rose Room and collapsed into a nearby chair. For the little that she’d brought with her, it certainly had taken a lot of work. A knock sounded on her door, but rather than get up, Jana simply called out a welcome.
The door opened and her mother stepped in. “We need to talk.”
Jana straightened in the chair, as if caught doing something wrong. Her mother closed the door behind her and crossed the room to where Jana sat.
“I know you think I’m being unduly harsh with you, but I want you to seriously consider the situation you’re in and think about what you can and cannot offer this child.”
“Well, I know one thing,” she said, getting to her feet to face her mother. “I can offer this child a mother who loves her or him. That’s more than you gave.”
“Love doesn’t put food on the table or a roof over your head.”
“Aunt Taffy has already offered all of that.”
Eleanor shook her head. “That old woman is growing more confused as the weeks go by. She’s probably got the onset of Alzheimer’s.”
“You don’t know that,” Jana countered. “Taffy is a wonderful woman who has a remarkable sense of joy and humor. I have never in my life been around anyone who emits such happiness from just existing. I certainly never saw that kind of happiness growing up. Which reminds me . . . why didn’t you ever tell me about Aunt Taffy raising you?”
What She Left for Me Page 10
