Giving Up My Chance at Forever_Prequel

by K. B. Andrews

  “What about you? What are you going to do?” I ask him, finally lifting my head to see him in the darkened room.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are you still planning on leaving for college this weekend?”

  “No, I’m not going,” he answers.

  I nod, understanding the choice he’s made, though I’m not exactly happy with it. He needs to go, but I won’t push him. I need him, even if I don’t want him to know that.

  When I wake the next morning, my head is pounding. I open my eyes and look around me. I’m in my old room. It’s exactly the same as I left it. I haven’t stepped foot in here since I was seventeen, and I moved out to be with Alissa.

  I know I should feel something when I look at this room, but I don’t. I don’t feel anything. I look at the dresser with the mirror missing from the frame. I look at the door she was leaning against when I saw the marks that covered her body. And I look at the bed we shared for a short time. It doesn’t hold the same emotion it all once did.

  Am I finally over her? Seeing this room again should make me feel something, even if it’s a longing for what used to be. But something inside of me has changed since yesterday, and I don’t know what it is.

  I stand and push myself forward. Mason is in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee. “Morning,” he says as he hands me the cup.

  I take it and sit down at the island. “Morning.”

  He pours himself another cup and comes to sit beside me. “How are you feeling today?”

  I shrug. “I’m not really feeling anything. I mean, my head hurts, but I don’t know. I feel different and don’t know why.”

  “I do too. I think it’s because we’re on our own.”

  I nod. That may be it. “I’m sorry about last night. I don’t remember a lot of it, but I know I put more shit on you than I should have.”

  “Don’t worry about it. The way you’ve been holding it back, it was bound to happen eventually.”

  “I do remember one thing though.” I look over at him. “Are you really skipping out on college?”

  “With the way things had been going downhill with Dad lately, I was already thinking about not going anyway. I just couldn’t talk myself into staying even though I knew I should. Now, I have to stay. You can’t handle everything on your own.”

  “I’ll make it work, Mase. You need to do this. You’ve worked for this your whole life.”

  “I’m not going Dane and that’s final. I’m eighteen now, you can’t force me to go. You’re just going to have to deal with it.”

  I push away from the island and stand. “You’re right. I can’t make you go. But this could set you up for the rest of your life. One day, you’ll regret passing on a chance like this. I know. I gave up my chance at my happily ever after.” I walk outside and jump in my car, hoping to leave him with something to think about.

  Chapter Twelve

  Dane

  Present Day

  I take a drag and hold the smoke in my lungs, letting it ease away the memories and the anxiety that arose with them before blowing them out in a cloud of smoke.

  I still act like the seventeen-year-old kid who packed his bags and left the only family he had. Granted, I didn’t go far. But at the age of seventeen, it was far enough. I got out of my dad’s house and his rules. Looking back now, maybe I should’ve listened. I was throwing my life away for a girl. A girl that led me to believe she cheated on me with my best friend.

  I took my life and flushed it down the toilet for her. And for what? For this? A life running the damn bar my dad left me? Drinking myself to sleep every night? Taking home girl after girl, promising them I’ll call, knowing damn well I won’t? I could’ve gone somewhere, done something with my life. But when I lost Alissa, I lost everything.

  I lost the love of my life, and in turn, I gave up the rest of it. I quit music, I quit love, I quit life. Traded it all in for a lonely existence, just waiting for someone to come put me out of my misery.

  I take one more drink before tucking the bottle away in the bottom drawer. Stubbing out my cigarette, I push away from the desk. I sway to the door and smack the light switch off as I pass. My vision is blurry and doubling as I make my way toward the front of the bar. The crowd around me is going full force, but I’m done for the night. All I need now is a girl to keep the memories away and preferably, a ride home.

  I sit down at the bar. I know it won’t take long. Wendy passes me a bottle of water, and I hold it up, confused as to why she gave me water, she knows what I drink.

  “Sober up. You’re going to kill yourself drinking like that.” She offers up a small smile before walking away.

  With a twist, I uncap the water and take a sip just as a pretty redhead takes the empty barstool next to me. I turn and flash her the smile that’s always gotten me whatever I wanted with women.

  She smiles back seductively and pushes her red curls behind her ear. “I’m Lisa,” she says leaning in.

  “Dane,” I reply.

  She turns toward me. “I know. You own this place, right?”

  I nod, forgetting that everyone in this town knows me and not for the best of reasons. “That’s right. Are you from around here?”

  Her porcelain skin flushes pink as she crosses her legs, brushing mine with her own. “Not really. I’m from a few towns over. I come here a lot though.”

  I’m getting really tired of the small talk already. Time to pull out the big guns. “What do you say to spending the night at my place?” I offer up the grin I know she can’t deny.

  Her eyes flash around the bar, making sure nobody is listening, before they land on mine again. She looks me up and down, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. “What’s in it for me?”

  I shrug. “I guarantee you’ll enjoy yourself, if only for one night.” My eyes zero in on hers, and I’ve sold it. I stand, sure of myself and my skills before holding out my arm for her to take.

  She stands like I knew she would and wraps her arm around mine. I lead her from the bar and into the parking lot.

  “Oh, you play guitar?” Lisa asks as I lead her into the living room of my house.

  “Not anymore. I used to.” I spin around to face her. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

  She sits down on the red sofa, crossing her legs and drawing up her black dress to show more leg. “I’m fine, I must have had too much to drink already. I don’t ever do this,” she says blushing and averting her eyes.

  Internally, I laugh. I know for a fact she’s done this on more than one occasion. I know because, like she said, she comes to my bar a lot. I’ve seen the countless men she’s left with. I don’t point that out though. I may be drunk, but I’m not stupid.

  I cross the room and take a seat beside her, letting my eyes run up those long legs of hers. They travel over her hips, up to her full chest, and land on her eyes. Looking into a woman’s eyes is something a lot of men like me avoid—men who like to fuck around and have a good time. They think the woman can see into their souls, see their true intentions or some shit. But not me. I always give the women I’m with exactly what they want.

  A show for a night.

  They don’t want me to know they’re hoping this turns into something. Each one thinks she’ll be the exception, the one who changes me. Little do they know, I’ve already been changed by a woman, and this is what’s left. As much as they talk, they have to know what coming home with me is like.

  It’s fun for a night. No expectations. No relationships. No guarantee for a future together. All they get is me, for one night only.

  The eye contact does exactly what I hoped it would. She feels she can trust me now, like I’m not hiding anything from her.

  Ever so slowly, I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. She opens willingly for me, letting my tongue slide against her own. The mixed drink she was drinking at the bar mixes with the flavor of Jack and smokes on my tongue.

  I kiss her slowly and as passionately as I can. She falls for it
hook, line, and sinker. Hastily, she slides herself onto my lap, pressing against the growing erection in my pants. My hands slide up her thighs, around to her ass, and up her back where they find the zipper of her dress. I tug it down slowly.

  My fingers brush the straps from her shoulders as I trail kisses down her neck before leaning forward, causing her to fall back. My lips descend over the swell of her breast as her lips part, letting out a soft moan of pleasure.

  This is my favorite part of sex. I mean, I like the sex too, but the foreplay, that’s the best part. I like to see how easily I can manipulate them. I like to see how much they can take before they’re putty in my hands. How far they will let me go?

  I place my hands on her hips and stand, holding her against me as I walk us to the bedroom. We collapse on the bed, and I settle between her parted legs. I stay up on my knees and remove my shirt and unfasten my jeans, all while watching her. This is something else I’ve picked up on. They like to think I can’t take my eyes off them. Like I’m the one who doesn’t have control here. But I know the truth. I can take any damn thing I want as long as I give them that smile, look longingly into their eyes, and move in slow for that first kiss. Works every time.

  I take my time priming her up. When I’m done with her, she’s panting and filled with need. Most men are greedy, they get the woman to give to them, but that’s where I’m different. While I try not to sleep with the same woman more than once, sometimes it can’t be avoided. So, I like to treat them right, make sure they have the time of their lives. That way, even if I am a dick the next morning, they can still say the sex was epic, and they’re always left wanting so much more. In turn, they give themselves to me time and time again, even if they’ll be placed on a shelf and forgotten about until I need to take them down to play again.

  I roll the condom on and lay back, letting her take me for a spin for a while. I close my eyes, and she flashes in my mind. Not the redhead riding me right now, Alissa. The one who came into my life just to torture me. To show me what it felt like to love, only to rip it away. Looking back on our time together, the memory alone is enough to make my release rise to the surface. But at the last minute, I open my eyes to see who’s really on top of me. That’s all it takes for me to roll her over and spend the next hour pounding into her. Trying to make sure she never forgets my name. And trying to make myself forget everything I thought I knew.

  Each and every time, it’s the same. I just keep running from her. Trying to cloud her memory with woman after woman. None of them compare. I’m always left feeling emptier than the time before, longing for what used to be, for who I used to be.

  I wake, lying on my stomach with my cheek smashed against my pillow. I open my eyes to see the early morning sun pouring in my window. I squint against the bright light and rub my head. I really tied one on last night. What happened?

  Then my bed moves just before someone is pressed against me. Her hand lands on my lower back and trails softly up between my shoulder blades. I turn my head to see a pretty redhead. Damn my drunk self. I did it again, but at least drunk me picks the pretty ones.

  I open my mouth, but it hits me: I don’t remember her name. “Good morning.”

  She smiles, unaware of her smeared makeup. “Good morning.”

  We both stare awkwardly at one another, not sure what to say. I roll to my back and look at the ceiling, trying to find the words to get her out of my house. Finally, after a long moment, I sit up. “I really should be getting to work.”

  “Oh…okay.”

  Time to find out what kind of girl she is. Will she be clingy, pretending like we’re meant for more? Or will she accept this for what is was, a one-night stand?

  I stand and wrap the sheet around my waist. I point down the hallway to a door. “There’s the bathroom if you’d like to clean up before you go.”

  She nods before grabbing her clothes off the floor and covering herself as she makes her way down the hallway. I watch her walk away and close the door before I sit on the edge of the bed, holding my head in my hands. What the fuck am I doing?

  I shake my head free from the thoughts and look up when as the door creaks open. She walks over to stand in front of me and turns her back to me, so I see the open zipper of her dress. Without being asked, I reach up and zip it up. She gives me this peak-a-boo look over her shoulder, fluttering her fake eyelashes at me. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” I say with a smile.

  She walks around the bed to grab her shoes while I riffle around in my closet for some clothes for the day.

  “I guess I should get out of here, so you can get to work.”

  I turn with clothes in my arms. “Okay, well, thanks for the good time.” I motion toward the door. She gets the hint, letting out a puff of air before marching down the hall with me following after her.

  She turns back with her hand on the knob. “I guess what they say is true.”

  I lean against the wall. Here it comes. “What’s that?”

  She looks me up and down. “That you’ll be the best lay of my life, but it won’t go any further or happen again despite how hard I try.”

  I grin, I don’t mean to, but hearing that the women around town say I’m the best lay of their lives brings a smile to my face. I shrug. “Well, at least you can’t say you didn’t know what you were getting into.”

  “You’re a jerk.” She twists the knob and throws open the door, knocking my guitar from its stand.

  “Oh, don’t get pissed now! You knew what this was!” I yell after her.

  I walk to the open front door and close it. Then I look down at the beat-up blue and black guitar.

  Instead of bending down to pick it up, I turn and go into the bathroom to take a shower.

  This is my life now. I wake up, kick out whatever girl I’ve brought home, shower, and head to work. I know this isn’t the life I was meant to lead, but what can I do? I’ll just keep hanging on, waiting for the day when she comes back. I don’t care if I have to wait for the rest of my life. I won’t ever give my heart to anyone else.

  It’s only ever belonged to her.

  The End…

  Read The Chance Series to see if Dane and Alissa get their happily ever after! Books 1, 2 and 3 are already out!

  Also, look for The Chance Series Box Set releasing later this year containing Part 2 of Giving Up My Chance at Forever!!

  Continue reading for a sneak peek at the final book in The Chance Series to be released soon. Subject to changes.

  Sneak Peek at One More Chance at Forever

  Book 5 in The Chance Series Coming 2018

  Chapter One - Mason

  “Mase, can you pick up the cake before you head home this evening?” Lennox asks while stepping out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel.

  I lick my lips as I look her up and down. We’re in our early forties now, but every time I look at her, she’s still the eighteen-year-old girl I fell head over heels in love with.

  My gaze roves from her long, tan legs to her perfect ass that’s only gotten better with age up her slender neck to her pouty lips. I can feel them pressed against mine just from seeing them.

  She points her finger at me. “Stop it. I know what you’re doing, and we don’t have time for it today.” Her eyebrows are arched up, and she has the stick to business look in her bright green eyes. I know that look. I’ve seen it many times over the years, but it doesn’t stop me.

  With a couple strides, I close the distance between us and pull her towel covered body against mine. She wraps her arms around my neck while looking up at me. Her green eyes burn even brighter before she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, between her teeth. The current crackles between us even after all these years. “Do you know how much I love you?”

  She rolls her eyes and smiles. “After all these years? Yeah, I think I do.”

  A small laugh falls from my lips. “Did you know that you’re even more beautiful now than the day I met you?” I ask while slowing
walking her backwards toward the bed.

  She slaps my chest playfully. “How do you expect me to believe that? My boobs have started to sag, and I have these little wrinkles around the corners of my eyes.”

  I shake my head. “You’re perfect. Just looking at you still gets me going.” I lay her back and cover her body with my own.

  “A slight breeze still gets you going.” She laughs.

  I take her wrists and hold them above her head with my left hand while my right is free to remove her towel, so I can gaze upon her perfect body. “Nothing gets me going like you do.” My lips crash into hers, sending a tingle throughout my body that lights every nerve ending. Each and every part of me yearns for her, like we haven’t touched in years.

  “Dad, I need a ride to town. The team is meeting up for pizza,” Emma says as she throws her purse over her shoulder.

  I turn and set my empty coffee cup in the sink. “How are you going to get back home?”

  “I’ll just hang out in town until you get off work.” She shrugs her shoulder before placing her hand on her hip. Her long, dark curls flow around her and her ice-blue eyes sparkle from the sun streaming through the open window. She’s looks so much like Lennox, everything but her eyes, those are all mine.

  “Alright, come on.” I nod toward the door and grab my keys off the entryway table. “Mase, don’t forget the cake,” Lennox says as she steps closer to me, placing a quick kiss on my lips.

  “I won’t,” I tell her. “Love you.”

  “Love you too,” she calls back while walking into the kitchen.

  Emma and I step out of the front door, and I hand her fifty bucks. “While you’re hanging out in town today, pick up your birthday cake.”

  She laughs and slides the money into her pocket. “I have to pick up my own cake now?”