I AM HERE TO KILL YOU

by Chris Westlake

  If you get life for one murder, then you may as well commit two. This is all irrelevant, though, because I'm going to get away with it. I'm now a serial killer. How many people in this world, let alone this town, can say that?

  It was Kat's idea to split. The old buzzard really has impressed me. How did she manage to think so logically? I'd always assumed she'd lose her nerve at the last minute. It was only a matter of time. I was ready for her when she did. She isn't like myself and Sheena. We're made for this type of excitement. Sheena has said as much, but I've always been wary that Kat wasn't really committed to our cause. Sure, she's begun to say the right things and smile in the right places, but her mind always seems elsewhere. Bizarrely, considering my husband is much richer than hers, I've always had this nagging feeling that she looks down on me. How would that make sense? That would be like a girl from TOWIE looking down on a girl from Made In Chelsea. It's ridiculous!

  Stood outside the barn, with the fire building nicely inside, the three of us giggled like schoolgirls. We had pulled it off. Together. As a team. My previous doubts towards Kat disappeared. She'd proven me wrong. The three of us were sisters now, like we'd taken a vow and shared blood. It was then that she suggested we take different routes, so the three of us weren't seen together. Fear seeped through my body. I didn't want to be alone. But Sheena's face lit up. She said it was a good idea. It must be, because Sheena is always right. We all embraced, and then fled in different directions.

  I decided to take a longer route, along the road. I fancied a walk, to clear my mind. Now though, my calves are beginning to strain. Bernard is the walker. He likes to go for his hikes in the mountains. He likes his own company. I do feel bad about how our marriage materialised. He has been good to me. He doesn't deserve for the town to view him as a wife beater.

  It isn't my fault, though. It was Sheena's idea. What was I supposed to do? We had a greater cause. There had to be a few victims along the way.

  I decide to kick off my heels and walk barefoot, like I did on one of our nights out. Oh God, it feels like my feet can actually breathe! Pulling my hand to my mouth, I silence a hiccup. Sheena said I should avoid the wine tonight, to keep my mind alert, but I couldn't resist a few cups. Even I suffer with occasional nerves. I walk as close to the grass verge as I can. With the light fading fast and the road so narrow and twisting, a car won't see me until it is too late. I don't fancy getting run over, particularly after everything we've just achieved. Sheena is right. Apart from the odd exceptions, men really are the Devil. Take that guy back there. Did you hear the way he squealed like a pig? But that was appropriate, because he is a pig! He had a wife and two young children, didn't he? Just what was he thinking of? Okay, I know I cheated on my husband, but we don't have children. My circumstances just aren't the same. We were doing the world a good deed by removing his life. That way he won't be able to hurt anybody else with his vile urges.

  I don't want to look over my shoulder. I thought I heard breathing. I thought I heard footsteps. It must be the darkness; Sheena said it plays tricks on your mind. Why am I walking on my own? I knew it wasn't a good idea to split. My mind is playing tricks on me. Don't be a silly little girl, Apinya!

  The breathing grows louder. The footsteps move closer. I can no longer blame paranoia. The muscles in my shoulders stiffen. My breathing tightens. I turn around, ready to stab whoever it is in the eye with one of my high heels. Do they realise who they're messing with? Do they realise that they have a killer in their midst?

  "Oh it is you," I say, putting my hand to my chest. I start laughing. I really was being ridiculous. "What are you doing here?"

  The breathing continues to get louder. The footsteps continue to move closer.

  "I am here to kill you."

  Katherine

  I conscientiously and methodically count one hundred steps before I turn on my heels and head back in the direction of the barn.

  Maybe it is the adrenaline pumping through my body? My fingers tingle. I can barely feel my feet. Of course, everything we are doing is utterly outrageous. Disgraceful. Shameful.

  And yet, I hadn't felt this alive since I was a teenager.

  I quicken my pace. I need to get there before it is too late. I acted quickly before, and I'll act quickly now. Of course, Sheena and Apinya had no idea that I didn't just stand dutifully on the spot, like a good girl, whilst they were busy in the barn. No. I've wasted too much of my life standing still, watching the world pass me by. As soon as I pushed the wooden door shut, I pressed my hands down against the adjoining wall and pulled myself up onto the barn roof. Lying flat on my front, like a sniper eying his target, I glanced through the gap in the roof. Pulling out my phone, I filmed my two darling friends tying a young man with rope at the wrists and ankles before setting the building on fire.

  Pretty damning evidence, I'd say.

  Maybe I am too late? My cough is throaty. My eyes water and sting. Pulling my arms to my face, I walk through the smog. I use the flat of my foot to push away the heavy stone we placed in front of the wooden door. Pulling the door open, I dive inside, not really caring if I live or die. The cries for help are muffled. At least he is alive. I grab hold of his ankles and drag his body out of the barn.

  Outside, his body lies floppy against the muddy ground. His eyes are dotted red. All colour has seeped from his face. His hands press flat against his chest as he splutters and coughs.

  He'll live.

  Untying the rope, I plant a tender kiss on his darkened forehead. I twist his face so it looks straight up at me.

  "Promise me you won't tell anyone I was involved in any of this."

  He struggles to produce any words. I press my fingers into his cheeks.

  "I promise," he says.

  "Good. Now you go back to your wife and be a good boy. Okay?"

  He nods.

  I spring to my feet and run to the metal gate.

  I've got some catching up to do.

  Sheena

  Rose used to be the only person to have a key. God. It seems so long since she led from the front. Whatever happened to her? Now Kat has a key. Apinya has a key. I have a key.

  Passing the chest-high wall, I glance up at the pitch-black sky. Bright, shiny stars cluster around the sleepy half-moon. I push the door. No movement. It doesn't open. I must be the first here. That's a surprise. Sweet, deluded Apinya was so hyped from the thrill of taking another life that I'm surprised she didn't skip here. Maybe she took a detour? Honestly, sometimes I wonder what on earth goes through that girl's mind. Kat isn't here, either. She is more of a worry. Maybe she had second thoughts? She has surpassed expectations so much tonight. Maybe she just cracked? Maybe - finally- her guilty conscience got the better of her? I crinkle my nose. Frankly, it doesn't really matter if she breaks. She must realise I've considered all alternatives, that whatever route she takes, none of them will lead to me? What could she possibly do? Blabber to that knucklehead husband of hers? Go to the police? I've got so much dirt on her, she may as well lock herself up.

  I turn the key and slide open the door. A stray bird flutters somewhere upstairs. Could that possibly be the sound of a mouse scurrying along the floorboards? Kat says that this place gives her the creeps. Who can blame her? The darkness and the dusty odour remind me of returning to an empty student flat after the summer holidays. Looking down, I half-expect to see a pile of red letters scattered on the floor. Pushing my arms out to my side, like I'm a trapeze artist, my fingertips graze the bumpy, rough, flaking walls. I don't turn on the corridor light, as agreed; we don't want to bring any attention to the building. To all intents and purposes, the school lies empty tonight. Opening the door to the hall, where we hold our meetings, I switch on this light. Our room lies to the back of the building. Nobody can possibly see us from here.

  I take a chair at the front of the room and stretch out my legs. The room feels much smaller and more depleted without the excited chatter, without the rows and rows of occupied chairs. We've work
ed wonders over the last year to bring the group back to life. My eyes rise to the ceiling, to the yellow stains and the cracks that spread like varicose veins from wall to wall. My feet tap on the dusty, hard floor. These are exceptional circumstances but - still - I don't like waiting. This is the second time in a handful of weeks that I've had to wait for Apinya. Folding my arms across my chest, I resist the urge to check my watch. Daniel would say that checking my watch shows a lack of patience, that it depicts nerves. He has an infinite amount of time to pass these days. I don't bother to look at my phone. We never communicate by phone. Not anymore. Those are the rules. Daniel says that the small details are the ones that make all the detail.

  The sound at the front door makes me sit up straighter. Hesitant, muffled movements make their way down the corridor. The door pushes open.

  "Kat," I say. "I thought you'd be Apinya."

  "She's still not here?"

  "No."

  "Not to worry," she says. "You know what she's like. She's probably taken the long route, just to make sure nobody saw her. That girl has to do things her way, doesn't she?"

  "Yes. I'm sure you're right."

  I stand up and take Kat in my arms. Her thick, dark hair tickles my nose. Her perfume is wonderfully alluring. Her body curves in and out in all the right places in her wonderful red dress, like a man sculpted her. I hate to admit it, but she was the perfect lure, like a worm to a fish. Who would have imagined it six months or so ago? Sometimes even I'm amazed by the impact I have on people.

  Kat pulls out a chair on the front row and sits down opposite me about four feet away. I expected her to frantically pace up and down the room, to incessantly ask non-stop questions. I know she suffers with dark, horrific moods that attempt to suck any remains of joy from her body. I assumed she would be panicky and anxious. In contrast, she sits perfectly still, with her hands flat against her thighs. Maybe she is beyond anxious? This can happen when somebody suffers from a panic attack. Is she numb with fear?

  "So why are we here, Sheena?"

  "We're just waiting for Apinya."

  "I know we're waiting for Apinya. But once she's here - what then?"

  I inhale air to extinguish my sigh. I don't want any unnecessary arguments. We went through all of this after the meeting last Saturday. Why does she feel the need to ask again?

  "We're hiding. Letting the dust settle. Waiting for the fire to get out of control, for the police and the fire brigade to attend the scene. We're keeping away from the pandemonium. We don't want to be anywhere near the scene when it all kicks off. And believe me, it will."

  Kat nods. But then she looks out of the corner of her eye. Up at the ceiling I observed moments before she arrived. "But why didn't we go to your flat? That's where we're supposed to be. That's where I told Ray I was going. That's where Apinya told Bernard she was going."

  I shake my head. Maybe she is losing it? Is she not thinking straight? "That's the first place they'd go," I say.

  "Why?"

  I can't help but scrunch up my face now. She is an annoying child that keeps asking questions. "Why?"

  Kat crosses one leg over the other. She rubs her hands together. "Yes. I mean, why would the police even think of going to your flat? Why would they think you have anything to do with the fire? What link could they possibly make to you?"

  These questions are getting harder. I look to the door. Where is Apinya? I hold up my hands. "I've got some history, okay? Why do you think I appeared in this goddamn town out of nowhere? I was escaping my past life. That charming DI Hunter knocked on my door first when they found Rob's floating body. Do you think that was coincidence?"

  Kat shakes her head. "I don't believe in coincidences."

  I hold her eye now. I'm getting irritated by this conversation. I need to silence her, before I lose my temper. She doesn't look away. "The police won't come here. Hunter won't think of finding us in this dump. That's why we're here."

  "I've had some experience with DI Hunter before," Kat says.

  "Oh yes?"

  "When my parents died. She was a nuisance. She always had suspicions. She was like a dog with a bone."

  "She seems like the type," I say.

  Kat breaks into a smile. "I was just thinking on the way over here," she says. "My mind was racing, to be honest with you. It's not surprising really, is it? Anyway, I came up with a different theory of why you chose to bring us here."

  I do sigh now. "What theory is that then?"

  She grazes the tongue stud against her teeth. Sucks in air. "I think you and Apinya wanted to bring me here so that you could kill me, Sheena."

  I pull my head back. My laughter echoes around the room. The silence, when I stop laughing, startles me. I scan Kat's face for a trace of emotion. She remains a wax doll. "Why would you think that?" I ask. "That's crazy."

  She shrugs her shoulders. "You are crazy, Sheena," she says.

  I go to argue against this, but then realise I don't have much of a defence. I am a crazy bitch. That's why I'm so special.

  "There's only two things wrong with that plan," Kat says.

  "What's that, then?"

  Kat looks around the room, then to the door. "Apinya isn't here, is she?"

  "No. She's not," I say. "I'll give you that. What's the second reason?"

  Kat slides her chair forward a few inches. Her face is within arm's reach of mine. Her smile appears wide and delirious.

  "Well," Kat says. "I am here to kill you."

  .

  Katherine

  This building has always stirred negative emotions. They're much more potent at night, though, when the place is virtually empty. I swear the walls have eyes and ears. Of course, I've never, ever been able to separate the building from my dead, older brother, Ben, which is a shame. Usually I picture him in his grey shorts and socks walking to school, dreading the day that lies ahead. Now I imagine him sat at home during the summer holidays, counting down the days until he has to return to this horrific place.

  Sheena shuffles in the seat opposite me. She likes to be at the front of the room, of course. It is a power thing. Originally she made myself and Apinya the leaders. We were merely a distraction. She didn't want to draw too much attention to herself. We were there to give her a foot up. She is shrewd, I'll give her that. Right now her eyes don't move away from me for a millisecond and her right hand caresses the blade hidden away in her pocket; she reminds me of a school ground bully who has been put in her place. Doubts have replaced her bravado.

  "You really have no idea who I am, do you?" I ask.

  She laughs. Her shoulders widen. She thinks she has the upper hand again. "Oh, Kat," she says. "You worried me for a moment there. But now I know you have nothing."

  "Why do you think that?"

  She leans forward in her chair now. Closer to me. "Because I know so much more about you than you could ever imagine, Katherine."

  I give her an encouraging smile. "Tell me everything you know, Sheena. I'm all ears."

  She is a master at hiding her true emotions, of course. I don't even think she knows what her true emotions are anymore. She morphs into whatever people want her to be, to whatever they want to hear. It is a tremendous skill. She does it to the group, to the men (including my husband) in the pub. She does it to me. Now, though, her flushed face suggests uncertainty.

  "I moved to this town because of you, you silly bitch," she says. "You are the catalyst for all of my plans."

  I glance at my polished nails, looking for any cracks or imperfections. I look up at Sheena. Release a bored sigh. "But who am I?"

  Sheena gives a condescending raise of the eyebrows. "Ooh, somebody's getting philosophical tonight, aren't they?"

  I don't say anything. I just leave her to fill the void.

  "You're Benjamin Conway's brother-"

  "And who's Benjamin Conway?"

  "He was murdered by the serial killer Daniel Perry on 5th June 1988. He was his third victim. Rose's daughter, Marie, was his fif
th victim."

  I raise my own condescending eyebrows. "Very impressive, Sheena. You've done your homework, haven't you? I'll give you an A star. Good girl."

  "What has gotten into you?" she asks. She doesn't like me mirroring her. It tells her I'm aware of her behaviour, of the little games she plays. I can see the spit coating her teeth, the subtle cracks in her lips. Everything feels magnified. My senses have heightened to a completely new level. "Maybe you should be asking who I am?" Sheena says.

  I push my knees together. Straighten my back. "Oh. That's a good question. Who are you, Sheena Strachan?"

  Her smile widens. "I'm Daniel Perry's girlfriend. Yes - the man who killed your brother. He sent me here, Kat. Daniel sent me here to kill Rose. He sent me here to kill you. He enjoys torturing the lives of those he has already destroyed..."

  I look down at my body. "You haven't done a very good job of that yet, have you?"

  Sheena smirks. "Where is Rose? How do you know I haven't killed her yet?"

  "Fair play," I say. "I don't."

  "So I need to give you some credit, Kat. Maybe you were right."

  "What's that?"

  "Maybe I am here to kill you?" Sheena says.

  "Maybe you are. You do realise I knew who you were the very first time I saw you?"

  I sense Sheena's bluster fade. She played her trump card and I wasn't floored.

  "More importantly," I say, "he doesn't love you, you know?"