A Religious Orgy in Tennessee

by H. L. Mencken

  DARROW: You don’t know how old they are, all these other religions?

  BRYAN: I wouldn’t attempt to speak correctly, but I think it is much more important to know the difference between them than to know the age.

  DARROW: Not for the purpose of this inquiry, Mr. Bryan. Do you know about how many people there were on this earth at the beginning of the Christian era?

  BRYAN: No, I don’t think I ever saw a census on that subject.

  DARROW: Do you know how many people there were on this earth 3,000 years ago?

  BRYAN: No.

  DARROW: Did you ever try to find out?

  BRYAN: When you display my ignorance, could you not give me the facts so I would not be ignorant any longer? Can you tell me how many people there were when Christ was born?

  DARROW: You know, some of us might get the facts and still be ignorant.

  BRYAN: Will you please give me that? You ought not to ask me a question that you don’t know the answer to.

  DARROW: I can make an estimate.

  BRYAN: What is your estimate?

  DARROW: Wait until you get to me. Do you know anything about how many people there were in Egypt 3500 years ago, or how many people there were in China 5000 years ago?

  BRYAN: No.

  DARROW: Have you ever tried to find out?

  BRYAN: No, sir, you are the first man I ever heard of who was interested in it. [Laughter.]

  DARROW: Mr. Bryan, am I the first man you ever heard of who has been interested in the age of human societies and primitive man?

  BRYAN: You are the first man I ever heard speak of the number of people at these different periods.

  DARROW: Where have you lived all your life?

  BRYAN: Not near you. [Laughter.]

  DARROW: Nor near anybody of learning?

  BRYAN: Oh, don’t assume you know it all.

  DARROW: Do you know that there are thousands of books in your libraries on all these subjects I have been asking you about?

  BRYAN: I couldn’t say, but I will take your word for it.

  DARROW: Did you ever read a book on primitive man? Like Tylor’s “Primitive Culture” or Boas or any of the great authorities?

  BRYAN: I don’t think I have ever read the ones you have mentioned.

  DARROW: Have you read any?

  BRYAN: Well, I have read a little from time to time, but I didn’t pursue it, because I didn’t know I was to be called as a witness.

  DARROW: You have never in all your life made any attempt to find out about the other peoples of the earth—how old their civilizations are, how long they have existed on the earth, have you?

  BRYAN: No, sir, I have been so well satisfied with the Christian religion that I have spent no time trying to find arguments against it.

  DARROW: Were you afraid you might find some?

  BRYAN: No, sir, I am not afraid now that you will show me any.

  DARROW: You remember that man who said—I am not quoting literally—that one could not be content though he rose from the dead? You suppose you could be content?

  BRYAN: Well, will you give the rest of it, Mr. Darrow?

  DARROW: No.

  BRYAN: Why not?

  DARROW: I am not interested.

  BRYAN: Why scrap the Bible? They have Moses and the Prophets.

  DARROW: Who has?

  BRYAN: That is the rest of the quotation you didn’t finish.

  DARROW: And so you think if they have Moses and the Prophets, they don’t need to find out anything else?

  BRYAN: That was the answer that was made there.

  DARROW: And you followed the same vein?

  BRYAN: I have all the information I want to live by and to die by.

  DARROW: And that’s all you are interested in?

  BRYAN: I am not looking for any more on religion.

  DARROW: You don’t care how old the earth is, how old man is, or how long the animals have been here?

  BRYAN: I am not so much interested in that.

  DARROW: You have never made any investigation to find out?

  BRYAN: No, sir, I have never.

  DARROW: All right.

  BRYAN: Now, will you let me finish the question?

  DARROW: What question was that? If there is anything more you want to say about Confucius, I don’t object.

  BRYAN: Oh yes, I have got two more things.

  DARROW: If Your Honor please, I don’t object, but his speeches are not germane to my question.

  HICKS (FOR THE PROSECUTION): Your Honor, he put him on.

  JUDGE RAULSTON: You went into it and I will let him explain.

  DARROW: I asked him certain specific questions about Confucius.

  HICKS: The questions he is asking are not germane either.

  DARROW: I think they are.

  BRYAN: I mentioned the word “reciprocity” to show the difference between Christ’s teaching in that respect and the teachings of Confucius. I call your attention to another difference. One of the followers of Confucius asked him, “what do you think of the doctrine that you should reward evil with good?” And the answer of Confucius was, “Reward evil with justice and reward good with good. Love your enemies. Overcome evil with good. And there is a difference between the two teachings—a difference incalculable in its effect and in—the third difference—people who scoff at religion and try to make it appear that Jesus brought nothing into the world, talk about the Golden Rule of Confucius. Confucius said, “Do not unto others what you would not have others do unto you.” There is all the difference in the world between a negative harmlessness and a positive helpfulness, and the Christian religion is a religion of helpfulness, of service, embodied in the language of Jesus when he said, “Let him who would be chiefest among you be the servant of all.” Those are the three differences between the teachings of Jesus and the teaching of Confucius, and they are very strong differences on very important questions. Now, Mr. Darrow, you asked me if I knew anything about Buddha.

  DARROW: You want to make a speech on Buddha, too?

  BRYAN: No sir, I want to answer your question on Buddha.

  DARROW: I asked you if you knew anything about him.

  BRYAN: I do.

  DARROW: Well, that’s answered, then.

  BRYAN: Buddha …

  DARROW: Well, wait a minute. You answered the question.

  RAULSTON: I will let him tell what he knows.

  DARROW: All he knows?

  RAULSTON: Well, I don’t know about that.

  BRYAN: I won’t insist on telling all I know. I will tell more than Mr. Darrow wants told.

  DARROW: Well, all right, tell it. I don’t care.

  BRYAN: Buddhism is an agnostic religion.

  DARROW: To what? What do you mean by “agnostic”?

  BRYAN: I don’t know.

  DARROW: You don’t know what you mean?

  BRYAN: That is what “agnosticism” is—“I don’t know.” When I was in Rangoon, Burma, one of the Buddhists told me that they were going to send a delegation to an agnostic congress that was to be held soon at Rome and I read in an official document …

  DARROW: Do you remember his name?

  BRYAN: No sir, I don’t.

  DARROW: What did he look like? How tall was he?

  BRYAN: I think he was about as tall as you, but not so good-looking.

  DARROW: Do you know about how old a man he was? Do you know whether he was old enough to know what he was talking about?

  BRYAN: He seemed to be old enough to know what he was talking about. [Laughter.]

  DARROW: If Your Honor please, instead of answering plain specific questions we are permitting the witness to regale the crowd with what some black man said to him when he was travelling in Rangoon, India.

  BRYAN: He was dark-colored, but not black.

  JUDGE RAULSTON: I will let him go ahead and answer.

  BRYAN: I wanted to say that I then read a paper that he gave me, and official paper of the Buddhist church, and it advocated the send
ing of delegates to that agnostic conference at Rome, arguing that it was an agnostic religion and I will give you another evidence of it. I went to call on a Buddhist teacher.

  DARROW: I object to Mr. Bryan making a speech every time I ask him a question.

  JUDGE RAULSTON: Let him finish his answer and then you can go ahead.

  BRYAN: I went to call on a Buddhist priest and found him at his noon meal, and there was an Englishman there who was also a Buddhist. He went over as ship’s carpenter and became a Buddhist and had been for about six years, and while I waited for the Buddhist priest I talked to the Englishman and he said the most important thing was you didn’t have to believe to be a Buddhist.

  DARROW: You know the name of the Englishman?

  BRYAN: No sir, I don’t know his name.

  DARROW: What did he look like? What did he look like?

  BRYAN: He was what I would call an average looking man.

  DARROW: How could you tell he was an Englishman?

  BRYAN: He told me so.

  DARROW: Do you know whether he was truthful or not?

  BRYAN: No sir, but I took his word for it.

  JUDGE RAULSTON: Well, get along, Mr. Darrow, with your examination.

  DARROW: Mr. Bryan ought to get along. You have heard of the Tower of Babel, haven’t you?

  BRYAN: Yes, sir.

  DARROW: That tower was built under the ambition that they could build a tower up to heaven, wasn’t it? And God saw what they were at, and to prevent their getting into heaven He confused their tongues?

  BRYAN: Something like that. I wouldn’t say to prevent their getting into heaven. I don’t think it is necessary to believe that God was afraid they would get to heaven.

  DARROW: I mean that way?

  BRYAN: I think it was a rebuke to them.

  DARROW: A rebuke to them trying to go that way?

  BRYAN: To build the tower for that purpose.

  DARROW: To take that short cut?

  BRYAN: That is your language, not mine.

  DARROW: Now, when was that?

  BRYAN: Give us the Bible.

  DARROW: Yes, we will have strict authority on it. Scientific authority?

  BRYAN: That was about 100 years before the flood, Mr. Darrow, according to this chronology. It was 2247—the date on one page is 2218 and on the other, 2247. And it is described in here—

  DARROW: That is the year 2247?

  BRYAN: 2218 BC is at the top of one page and 2247 at the other, and there is nothing in here to indicate the change.

  DARROW: Well, make it 2230 then?

  BRYAN: All right, about.

  DARROW: Then you add 1500 to that.

  BRYAN: No, 1925.

  DARROW: Add 1925 to that, that would be 4155 years ago. Up to 4155 years ago every human being on earth spoke the same language?

  BRYAN: Yes, sir, I think that is the inference that could be drawn from that.

  DARROW: All the different languages of the earth, dating from the Tower of Babel, is that right? Do you know how many languages are spoken on the face of the earth?

  BRYAN: No. I know the Bible has been translated into 500 and no other book has been translated into anything like that many.

  DARROW: That is interesting, if true. Do you know all the languages there are?

  BRYAN: No, sir, I can’t tell you. There may be many dialects besides that in some languages, but those are all the principal languages.

  DARROW: There are a great many that are not principal languages?

  BRYAN: Yes sir.

  DARROW: You haven’t any idea how many there are?

  BRYAN: No, sir.

  DARROW: How many people have spoken those various languages?

  BRYAN: No, sir.

  DARROW: And you say that all those languages of all the sons of men have come on the earth not over 4150 years ago?

  BRYAN: I have seen no evidence that would lead me to put it any farther back than that.

  DARROW: That is your belief, anyway—that was due to the confusion of tongues at the Tower of Babel. Did you ever study philology at all?

  BRYAN: No, I have never made a study of it; not in the sense in which you speak of it.

  DARROW: You have used language all your life?

  BRYAN: Well, hardly all my life—ever since I was about a year old.

  DARROW: And good language, too. And you never took any pains to find out anything about the origin of languages?

  BRYAN: I never studied it as a science.

  DARROW: Have you ever, by any chance, read Max Mueller?

  BRYAN: No.

  DARROW: The great German philologist.

  BRYAN: No.

  DARROW: Or any book on that subject?

  BRYAN: I don’t remember to have read a book on that subject, especially, but I have read abstracts, of course, and articles on philology.

  DARROW: Mr. Bryan, could you tell me how old the earth is?

  BRYAN: No, sir, I couldn’t.

  DARROW: Could you come anywhere near it?

  BRYAN: I wouldn’t attempt to. I could possibly come as near as scientists do, but I had rather be more accurate before I give a guess.

  DARROW: You don’t think much of scientists, do you?

  BRYAN: Yes, I do, sir.

  DARROW: Is there any scientist in the world you think much of?

  BRYAN: Yes.

  DARROW: Who?

  BRYAN: Yes, the bulk of them.

  DARROW: I don’t want that kind of an answer, Mr. Bryan. Who are they?

  BRYAN: I will give you George M. Price, for instance.

  DARROW: Who is he?

  BRYAN: Professor of geology in a college.

  DARROW: Where?

  BRYAN: He was out near Lincoln, Nebraska.

  DARROW: How close to Lincoln, Nebraska?

  BRYAN: About 3 or 4 miles. He is now in a college out in California.

  DARROW: Where is the college?

  BRYAN: At Lodi.

  DARROW: That is a small college?

  BRYAN: I didn’t know you had to judge a man by the size of his college; I thought you judged him by the size of the man.

  DARROW: I thought the size of the college made some difference.

  BRYAN: It might raise a presumption in the minds of some, but I think I would rather find out what he believed.

  DARROW: You would rather find out whether his belief coincided with your views or prejudices or whatever they are, before you said how good he was?

  BRYAN: I don’t think I am any more prejudiced for the Bible than you are against it.

  DARROW: Well, I don’t know.

  BRYAN: Well, I don’t know either. It is my guess.

  DARROW: You mentioned Price because he is the only human being in the world so far as you know that signs his name as a geologist, that believes like you do.

  BRYAN: No, there is a man named Wright who taught at Oberlin.

  DARROW: I will get to Mr. Wright in a moment. I am asking you about Mr. Price. Who publishes his book?

  BRYAN: I can’t tell you. I can get you the book.

  DARROW: Don’t you know? Don’t you know it is Revell and Company in Chicago?

  BRYAN: I couldn’t say.

  DARROW: He publishes yours, doesn’t he?

  BRYAN: Yes, sir.

  STEWART: Will you let me make an exception? I don’t think it is pertinent about who publishes a book.

  DARROW: He has quoted a man that every scientist in this country knows is a mountebank and a pretender, and not a geologist at all.

  JUDGE RAULSTON: You can ask him about the man, but don’t ask him about who publishes the book.

  DARROW: Do you know anything about the college he is in?

  BRYAN: No, I can’t tell you.

  DARROW: Do you know how old his book is?

  BRYAN: No, sir; it is a recent book.

  DARROW: Do you know anything about his training?

  BRYAN: No, I can’t say on that.

  DARROW: Do you know of any geologist on
the face of the earth who ever recognized him?

  BRYAN: I couldn’t say.

  DARROW: But you think he is all right? How old does he say the earth is?

  BRYAN: I am not sure that I would insist on some particular geologist that you picked out recognizing him before I could consider him worthy if he agreed with your views.

  DARROW: You would consider him worthy if he agreed with your views.

  BRYAN: Well, I think his argument is very good.

  DARROW: How old does Mr. Price say the earth is?

  BRYAN: I haven’t examined the book in order to answer questions on it.

  DARROW: Then you don’t know anything about how old he says it is?

  BRYAN: He speaks of the layers that are supposed to measure age, and points out that they are not uniform and not always the same, and that attempts to measure age by these layers where they are not in the order in which they are usually found, makes it difficult to tell the exact age.

  DARROW: Does he say anything whatever about the age of the earth?

  BRYAN: I wouldn’t be able to testify.

  DARROW: You didn’t get anything about the age from him?

  BRYAN: Well, I know he disputes what you say, and I say there is very good evidence to dispute it—what some others say about the age.

  DARROW: Where did you get your information about the age of the earth?

  BRYAN: I am not attempting to give you information about the age of the earth.

  DARROW: Then you say there was Mr. Wright, of Oberlin?

  BRYAN: That was rather I think on the age of man rather than upon the age of the earth.

  DARROW: There are two Mr. Wrights, of Oberlin?

  BRYAN: I couldn’t say.

  DARROW: Both of them are geologists. Do you know how long Mr. Wright says man has been on the earth?

  BRYAN: Well, he gives the estimates of different people.

  DARROW: Does he give any opinion of his own?

  BRYAN: I think he does.

  DARROW: What is it?

  BRYAN: I am not sure.

  DARROW: What is it?

  BRYAN: It was based upon the last glacial age, that man has appeared since the last glacial age.

  DARROW: Did he say there was no man on earth before the last glacial age?

  BRYAN: I think he disputes the finding of any proof, where the proof is authentic, but I had rather read him than quote him. I don’t like to run the risk of quoting from memory.

  DARROW: You couldn’t say then how long Mr. Wright places it?

  BRYAN: I don’t attempt to tell you.