Longwalker's Child
Page 11
Lauren straightened and fanned a wisp of silky blond hair from her face. She drew in a deep breath, the movement drawing Gray's attention to her chest. The size and shape of her breasts were clearly outlined beneath the clinging green fabric. When his gaze collided with hers once more, the shimmering jade of her eyes reminded him that he had been right about the color of the dress highlighting those wide, exotic pools.
At that precise moment he would have paid any price to see her pull the pins from her hair and then watch the long, thick tresses tumble down around her slender shoulders. A wave of desire rose so strongly inside him that it made him weak-kneed. The room grew suddenly tiny with the big, wide bed taunting him. His breath went thin in his lungs, and a strange, unfamiliar emotion ached through him.
With sudden clarity Gray recognized it for what it was, the longing for something beyond his reach—something he could never have. A man like Buck would win the heart of this woman, he reminded himself. Gray didn't have a snowball's chance in Hades of making a woman like this his…even if he wanted to. And he didn't. He was confused, and so was she. A part of her wanted to reach out to him, but another part feared him. Her motivation was unclear. But he could feel her trepidation all the way across the room.
Lauren wrung her hands nervously, as if she'd suddenly sensed the tension in him. Her lips quivered, she blinked and then looked away. "Just flip the breaker to turn on the water heater." She gestured toward the breaker box on the far wall. "If…if you need anything else, you can let me know." She kept her head lowered as she hurried past him.
Like a snake striking an innocent victim, Gray snagged her by the arm and pulled her around to face him. He was asking for trouble here. He hadn't even gotten his body under control and he further tempted himself by touching her. But he had to know.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked, his voice gruff to his own ears. The question burned inside him like hot, molten steel. He sensed her need to reach out to him even stronger now, he just couldn't understand why. She tried to pull away, but he held her by both arms, his fingers digging into the soft flesh beneath the thin fabric of her dress. "We've already established that you don't want me here."
Lauren moistened her lips, the movement adding to Gray's mounting discomfort. "I—I'm ashamed of the way Buck behaved and…for the way the people here treat you." She peered up at him, her huge green eyes liquid, her lips trembling. "I wanted to try and make it up to you."
Gray's jaw tightened; his desire rechanneled itself into anger. "I don't want your sympathy," he snapped, and then gave her a little shake. Lauren stiffened in his grasp. "These people don't care about me one way or another. They just react the way the Buckmasters want them to. This whole blasted town bows down to the mighty Buckmasters. Don't you know that?" he snarled like a wounded animal.
Lauren moved her head quickly from side to side. "I don't understand. I'm only trying to be nice." A tear slid down her pale cheek, and she trembled in his ruthless hold.
"Don't be nice to me, Lauren. I don't want you to be nice to me," he growled fiercely. The scant inch of air that separated them fairly crackled with tension. Gray wanted more than he had ever wanted anything in his life to take her right here, right now. But instead he released her, looked away and let out a shaky breath. Damn him for feeling this way. Damn her for making him.
"I'll leave in the morning," he told her. "This will never work." Indifference he could deal with. He'd done that his entire life. Anger, hatred he knew how to react to—but this he couldn't handle. No one had shown him a moment's consideration since he was ten years old. And right now he couldn't trust himself or this woman who appeared bent on that end.
"I'm just…" she began, her voice halting and trailing off as she backed away from him. "I'm sorry about—"
He glared at her, cutting off her next words. "I'm not," he lashed out, his chest heaving with the anger that boiled inside him.
Something changed in her eyes. Gone was the fear and uncertainty. She balled her small hands into fists at her sides. Outrage etched itself in every feature of her pretty face. Gray watched the transformation with complete fascination.
Lauren advanced the few steps she had retreated. She looked him square in the eye and, before he knew what was happening, had slapped him as hard as she could. His ears rang and his jaw stung from the blow but he didn't move a muscle in reaction. He stood perfectly still and let her have her say.
"You are a bastard, Gray Longwalker, and it doesn't have a thing to do with illegitimacy." She spat the words with a healthy dose of contempt. "You're out of a place to stay and I've offered you one, and you have the nerve to snub my hospitality."
He snatched her wrist before she attempted further violence. "Why don't you give me the unvarnished truth about why you're being so hospitable," he said from between clenched teeth, his face only inches from hers.
Her bravado wilted. "I've changed my mind," she said, tugging at his hold. "You can leave now!"
He tugged back, jerking her soft body against his rock-hard one, lowering his head even closer to hers. "Come on, Lauren, tell me about how you had hoped to be all nice and sweet to me to change my mind about taking Sarah," he goaded, his grip tightening when she would have pulled away. "How far would you go?" He nipped her earlobe with his teeth. She shivered in response. "I can feel the heat between us. Would you go that far? Do you think I'd ride off into the sunset never to be heard from again if you treated me just right? Hmmm?" He buried his face in the curve of her neck and drew in deeply of her sweet scent.
Lauren exploded into action. Screaming like a wildcat, she kicked him and pulled at his hair. He barely deflected her knee from its most-sensitive target. She sank her teeth into his chest, wrenching forth a howl and several ear-scorching curses. She kicked his shin sending him off balance. They tumbled onto the freshly made bed, a tangle of arms and legs.
"Get off me, you jerk!" She arched upward in an effort to throw him off.
"Forget it," he barked, his breath coming in short, ragged bursts. She arched again. "If you don't stop that, I won't be responsible for what happens next," the hoarse words rumbled from deep within his chest.
She froze, her eyes wide with understanding as his arousal nudged into her pelvis. Lauren gasped, fear flickered in her big, green eyes. "You wouldn't dare," she said on a breath, her rage slipping, the energy diverting to feed her fear.
He cocked one eyebrow and bent his lips into a wicked smile. "Wouldn't I? Haven't you heard about my hot temper and womanizing? Gray Longwalker, the half-breed who'd take another man's woman just to tick him off? The man who doesn't care about anything or anyone. That's me, Lauren, and no one in this town has ever forgotten it—why should you be different?"
She shook her head from side to side. "I don't believe you," she whispered, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She swallowed hard. He watched the delicate muscles of her throat struggle with the effort.
"I've seen you with Sarah." The tears slipped past her long, thick lashes, and her lips quivered before she spoke again. "I'm not afraid of you, Gray Longwalker. I know I should be, but I'm not."
He stared into her eyes and saw the truth of her words. Saw the uncertainty of her own desires, but no fear. "And when I take Sarah away, will you be afraid of me then?"
She shook her head again, slowly, resolutely. "I won't let you take her away," she said with a conviction that knifed through his gut.
"And how would you propose to stop me?" His body hummed with white-hot desire. He lowered his head until his lips almost touched hers and hovered there, allowing the sensation to flow over him, fueling his need.
She sucked in an unsteady breath, her lips brushing his, her breasts rising against his chest. He wanted this woman so much it hurt.
"When the time comes," she said, defying his control, her eyes locked with his. "I believe you'll do the right thing for Sarah."
Her words kicked like a mule, the force jamming into his midsection. He drew back and stared at
her, confused and unwilling to believe what he had heard. Everything inside him stilled.
"Then you're a bigger fool than I thought," he said roughly. Gray pushed up from the bed, pulling her up as he went. She moved quickly away from him, adjusting her dress and hair with shaky hands.
Gray stared at the floor willing her to leave. You'll do the right thing, still echoed inside his head.
She stopped at the door and turned back to him. "Are you going or are you staying?" she asked, as if none of what had just happened had taken place.
Gray considered her question. Why not? He'd always been a glutton for punishment. Why not stay—it was as good a place as any. Better than some. And he would be close to his daughter.
"I'll stay on one condition."
She tipped her chin up a notch in challenge. "And what would that be?"
"That I pay you room and board."
She huffed indignantly. "I don't want your money."
"Then I go," he said simply.
"This is ridiculous." She planted her hands at her waist and glowered at him.
"I won't accept your charity. I'll earn my keep," he added, giving her body a thorough raking. "In any way you'd like."
She shivered visibly, but then her anxious expression brightened as if an idea had just occurred to her. "What if we compromise?"
Wary, he said, "I'm listening."
"My great-aunt still owned a few horses when she passed away. They've all been sold but one. Spinner was her favorite, and my mother couldn't bear to see him sold. So she paid someone to see after the horse until I moved here." Sadness marred her pretty features. "I suppose all that time running the pastures alone did it. He's as wild as can be now. No one can get close to him. He has to be tranquilized any time he needs attention from the vet."
Gray rubbed the back of his neck and pretended to mull over her offer. He would never turn his back on an animal in need, but she didn't know that. "I suppose I could take a look at him. You're sure no one has abused him?"
"Oh, no. Mr. Burke has taken very good care of him."
Tom Burke. Gray knew him, and if Tom had been responsible for the horse then everything was as it should be. Tom was a good man with a deep love for all animals.
"All right," Gray said slowly and then extended his hand. "It's a deal."
Lauren placed a tentative hand in his to seal their deal. Need flamed anew in Gray's loins. Every carnal act he had ever done or imagined flashed before his eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to do each and every one to and with Lauren.
He had to be crazy or at the very least hell-bent to stay. But stay he would.
Chapter Nine
"Fax this one to Frank right away," Lauren instructed Rosemary as she shuffled through the revised drawings and selected the most urgent one.
"What about the rest?" Rosemary scanned the remaining drawings Lauren had fanned across the desktop like a bad poker hand.
"They can wait." Lauren reshuffled the group.
"There are a couple I want to look at one more time." She just hadn't been able to concentrate on her work lately. Big surprise, she thought dryly. With all that was going on in her life she was stunned that she got anything accomplished.
"Sarah told me at church yesterday that Gray had moved into the bunkhouse," Rosemary said a bit too offhandedly.
Lauren paused, midshuffle, and met her friend's gaze. "There was a fire at the hotel. It seemed like the only logical thing to do," she explained.
Rosemary covered Lauren's hand with her own. "I wasn't accusing you of anything, Lauren. I'm just concerned, that's all."
Lauren's gaze narrowed slightly. She trusted Rosemary implicitly, but she wouldn't put anything past Buck. "Did Buck ask you to talk to me?"
Rosemary scoffed. "Are you kidding? You know I'd tell Buck to take a hike if he even proposed such an idea." She squeezed Lauren's hand. "Gray has only been here a week. I've seen what his presence has put you through. Then suddenly he's living on your property. It seems a little strange," she added softly. "Folks talk."
Lauren squeezed her eyes shut and massaged her forehead with trembling fingers. She knew it was strange. But she just couldn't turn him away. The people around town who had nothing better to do would just have to talk. She sighed when she opened her eyes and met Rosemary's worried gaze. "I know it looks—" Lauren grappled for the right word "—odd," she finished. "But what was I supposed to do? You and I both know he's Sarah's father. Could I turn my back on him as if he's a mere stranger?"
Rosemary placed the drawing and the lead sheet she had prepared facedown on the fax machine and pressed the necessary buttons. A busy signal sounded instantly, but the machine would redial until it tapped into an open line. She turned back to Lauren and studied her for a time before she spoke again. "He is a stranger to you and to Sarah," she countered. "But I know you and how you love to take in strays. Fluffy's a prime example of that." She leveled her most serious gaze on Lauren then. "But, Lauren, Gray Longwalker is no stray cat. He's a man…by all accounts, a man to be feared."
Lauren frowned, wondering. "Is that how you remember him?"
Hesitancy claimed Rosemary's features then. She looked away and forked her fingers through her long brown hair. Before Lauren could apologize for asking such a personal question, Rosemary walked across the room to the wide set of windows and stared out.
"You have to remember that my family left Thatcher for a while when I was a teenager. By the time we moved back, Longwalker was gone and I was in my first year of college. So my memories are really old."
Knowing there was more, Lauren joined her at the window, both staring at nothing at all. "But you do remember him," she pressed.
"I remember him," she murmured, her voice distant.
Silence lengthened between them for one long minute that turned to two. Another dial tone sounded, and the fax machine whirred behind them, carrying on with business despite the heart-stopping anticipation building inside Lauren.
"He was the town bad boy," she began. A hint of a smile pulled at her lips. "All the girls whispered about him. He was so goodlooking." She sighed, reliving long ago memories. "But he had such a reputation." A frown furrowed her brow. "And he was so angry. We were all afraid of him."
Lauren listened without interrupting as Rosemary painted a picture with her words. Gray Longwalker had been an outcast even then.
"The guys all hated him. Buck and his brother especially."
"Why?" Lauren's voice sounded strange, strained with sympathy for a boy she hadn't even known. What was it with Buck and Gray?
Rosemary shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe because he was poor and illegitimate. You know the Buckmasters, they think God created this earth specially for them. Or maybe it was because the guys knew that all the girls secretly loved Gray."
"If he was as bad as all that, why did you still like him?"
"Because he wasn't, not really." Rosemary glanced at her, then resumed her intent stare out the window. But not before Lauren saw the flicker of remembered emotion in her eyes. "Well, I mean, at least not to me.
"It was my first date," Rosemary continued. "I was so excited that a tenth-grader had asked me to the ball game. He was on the team, had a letter jacket and all. His name was Wesley. But the ride home wasn't so wonderful. He…he tried to force me to…well, you know."
Anxiety tightened Lauren's chest. "What did you do?"
"I got out of his car, determined to walk home." She laughed dryly. "But it was dark, and I was a long way from home." She shook her head. "He just drove off and left me there. Then bragged about it the following day."
"How did you get home?" Lauren could imagine the panic that must have overwhelmed her.
"Gray Longwalker came along in his old beat-up truck and offered me a ride." She blinked, her eyes suspiciously bright. "I was afraid at first. But I was desperate." She paused, visibly bracing herself. "He tried to make me feel better by saying what a jerk Wesley was and all that. Then he told me I'd done the
right thing. 'You should never let a man take advantage of you,' he said. He even held me while I cried. Can you imagine?" Rosemary swiped at her eyes. "Anyway, when he pulled up in my driveway, my father was sitting on the front porch waiting for me to get home."
Lauren stilled, knowing what was to come would not be good.
Rosemary slowly shook her head from side to side. "Daddy pitched an awful fit. Said terrible things to Gray for coming near his daughter. Even told him he'd shoot him if he ever caught him around me again."
"My God. What did Gray do?"
She shrugged listlessly. "Nothing. He just took it."
"What did you do?"
Rosemary drew in a quick breath. "I didn't do anything. I went inside and to my room just like my father ordered." She dabbed at her eyes again. "I never even thanked Gray."
Lauren hugged her friend. How that memory must haunt her. "You were young. You didn't know any better."
Rosemary drew back and pinned her with the urgency glimmering in her brown eyes. "Don't you see. It's always been that way. Longwalker never had a chance to be anything but what these people decided he was. And nothing's changed. He's walking around with years of emotional baggage hanging around his neck. Don't let him drag you down with it, Lauren. I'm not sure he can ever escape his past. Even Sharon worried about him passing that same bitterness on to Sarah."
"But I can't treat him the way these people have treated him. I just can't." Promise or no, Lauren couldn't do it.
"Of course you can't," Rosemary agreed. "But be careful. He walked away from the things he couldn't change six years ago. But I've got a bad feeling that he's through walking away. He intends to have his daughter. I just don't want you to get hurt in the cross fire."
It was too late, Lauren wanted to say, but held her tongue. She was already in way too deep.
* * *
THE BREEZE CHILLED HER SKIN, but the sun shone bright and warm against the green pastures that surrounded Lauren's house. She watched from her secluded spot on the back porch as Gray worked with Spinner. Rosemary had left with a half dozen errands to run for Lauren and a dentist's appointment later in the afternoon. She wouldn't be back today. Lauren closed her eyes and recalled the heart-wrenching story Rosemary had related to her. She shouldn't allow these intense feelings, but she couldn't stop them. Gray was a grown man, he didn't need her foolish sympathy.