Longwalker's Child

by Debra Webb

  Lauren tried to rationalize the crazy, mixed-up emotions churning inside her, but she couldn't.

  The knock at the door eliminated any further ruminating along that vein. Lauren took a deep, bolstering breath and headed toward the door. Buck probably wanted to rant a little more about Gray's presence on her property. Or maybe he wanted to apologize for being a jerk.

  "Yeah, right," she muttered. On her way to the front door, Lauren paused at the living room to see that Sarah was still happily enthralled with her new video game, which had been the price of Lauren's guilt over her fall. Fluffy took one look into the living room, twitched her tail and headed in the opposite direction as if the noise of the video game offended her.

  Before unlocking the door and throwing it open, Lauren tried to relax, to ease the tension banded around her skull. Her hands felt clammy, and she was nauseated. She glanced at her watch—still too early to take another dose of her medication. She couldn't let the headaches catch her, she had to stay one step ahead of them. So she focused on remaining calm and thinking serene thoughts. Like making love with the enemy.

  Lauren shook off the thought and pulled the door open. She summoned a smile for Buck. His clear gray-blue eyes twinkled and his mouth slid into a charming smile. Something clicked in the back of Lauren's mind, but she couldn't quite grasp the bit of knowledge or recognition.

  She shoved away the nagging notion and forced her attention on her visitor. "Buck, hello," she said, offering her cheek before he could plant a kiss on her lips.

  "Hey, sugar." Buck stepped inside and dropped his hat on the hall table. "How's our girl? I heard about that nasty fall she had yesterday. I can't believe you didn't call me."

  "Sarah's fine. Thanks." Lauren gritted her teeth. There were no secrets in a small town like Thatcher. That was the one unappealing characteristic of small towns. Everybody knew everything. She had never noticed it before, but now with Gray Longwalker being here she felt as if she were the main character in an ongoing soap for all of Thatcher's entertainment.

  "I'm sorry. I should have called you."

  "Where's that half-breed?"

  Lauren scowled at him. "Buck, Sarah is in the living room."

  "Sorry, sugar, but we need to talk."

  His tone startled Lauren. She met his flat gaze and searched for clues as to what he might be thinking—nothing showed. But if the firm line his mouth had formed was any indication, it wasn't good.

  "All right." Lauren led him to the dining room where Sarah wouldn't overhear their conversation. She indicated the chairs around the table. "Have a seat."

  "No, I think I'd rather stand," he said solemnly. He tucked his hands into the back pockets of his starched and pressed Levi's and shifted his weight to one leg.

  "Okay." Lauren prepared herself for the worst. She wasn't sure how much more stress she could handle in this lifetime.

  "I understand Don passed along the judge's advice as to your best course of action."

  "What?" Outraged, Lauren could only stare at him. The discussions between her and her attorney were confidential—even in a small town.

  "Don't get all riled up now, sugar. Don didn't tell me anything. I spoke to the judge personally." He smiled his best good-old-boy charmer. "I care about you, Lauren. I don't want that no-account half-breed to come in here and do anything to hurt you or that little girl."

  "Well, thank you for your concern, Buck." The words barely edged out past the tangle of tension in her throat. "But I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

  "I don't want you to lose Sarah, either," he said with too much sincerity. "Lauren, you know how I feel about you."

  She blinked, anxiety pushed ahead of her irritation. "Where are you going with this, Buck?"

  Buck took her hands in his and held them tightly. Lauren's heart rate picked up, but it had nothing to do with desire and everything to do with uneasiness.

  "I can make this whole thing go away for you."

  Everything inside Lauren went very still. "What?"

  His right thumb began a steady circle over the back of her hand. "I'm a very wealthy man, Lauren. I have influence."

  She nodded, unsure as to why Buck would choose to tell her what was common knowledge around town.

  "I have a great many important friends," he continued. "I can make things happen."

  Lauren shook her head this time. "I don't understand what you're getting at, Buck."

  "All I'm saying is that if you need help with this problem, I'm here for you."

  Caution slowed her response. "You are?" The uneasy feeling mushroomed inside her.

  "I am," he said simply. "I love you, Lauren, and I don't want to see Longwalker hurt you." His wide shoulders squared beneath the crisp white shirt he wore. "I'm willing to marry you today if it'll help resolve your problems."

  The shock of his words slammed into Lauren with such force that she swayed from the impact. "Buck—"

  "Before you answer—" his hold on her hands tightened "—think long and hard, Lauren. I can help you." He pressed his lips to Lauren's fingers in a light kiss. "I'm a good man, Lauren. I can take care of you and Sarah the way you deserve, and I can protect you both from Longwalker. He's a mean, bitter bastard, but I can make sure you never have to see him again."

  Confusion ruled. Lauren felt numb. "I don't know what to say," she managed.

  He gave her a nod and flashed a sympathetic smile. "I understand. It's a big decision." He draped one arm around her shoulders and guided her back into the hall. "I don't want to pressure you. Take your time. Think about it." He released her to open the front door. Buck stood on the threshold and looked back at Lauren. "I know you'll do what's best for the little girl."

  Lauren closed the door behind him. She didn't say goodbye. She was too shocked, too overcome by something she couldn't even name.

  The man had just asked her to marry him. She shook herself; she had to be dreaming. Or maybe she was hallucinating. The recent loss of his father had obviously made him take stock of his life—and hers.

  The adrenaline rush receded, leaving Lauren weak. She leaned back against the wall to steady herself and closed her eyes.

  Just last night she and Gray had made love. Now, today, Buck asks her to marry him.

  Lauren slid down the wall to the floor. She pulled her knees into her chest and rested her forehead against them. She was so tired. Too tired to think straight.

  Buck was a wealthy, powerful man. He had connections everywhere—financial and political. He could probably do just what he said he could, but could she?

  Lauren squeezed her eyes tighter in an effort to block out the image of Gray Longwalker as he had looked only a few hours ago, his eyes tender with emotion, his body moving over hers.

  Buck was offering her the very help Don had advised she needed. If she were married to a man like Buck, would the judge order that Sarah remain in her custody, with mere visitation rights for Gray? Hope soared at the thought but quickly wilted when she considered how that outcome would affect Gray. He would have come back to Thatcher, endured the persecution of these people, relived his haunted past and lost his heart to a child…for mere visitation rights.

  But could she not accept Buck's help and risk losing her child?

  Chapter Twelve

  "Hold it like this." Gray held out his right hand, the sugar cube in the center. Spinner gobbled it off his palm, and Sarah giggled.

  "Let me try," she demanded from her perch on the middle bar of the old wooden fence. She hung on to the top rail, her neon-green cast dangling over it.

  Gray placed a sugar cube in her right hand, and she immediately thrust it in Spinner's direction. He tossed his head at her sudden move. Sarah frowned.

  "Be very still and he'll come for it," Gray whispered. A few seconds later the old horse snagged the cube from her palm. Sarah squealed with delight. Spinner didn't take to the piercing sound. He sauntered away.

  "I wanna do it again!"

  "I think he's h
ad enough today. We'll do it again tomorrow," Gray assured her.

  "Time for you to come inside, young lady."

  The sound of Lauren's voice warmed Gray. His gaze immediately sought hers. Instantly his body reacted, even before the memories of making love to her played through his mind. The wind tugged at the silky hair she'd piled atop her head. He resisted the urge to pull the pins free and watch the honey-colored stuff fall around her shoulders.

  Lauren gifted him with a hesitant smile as she lifted Sarah down from the fence. He had hoped she wouldn't regret what they had shared, but she did—at least a little. And that pained him. He hadn't wanted any regrets this time.

  What would she think if she knew he had called his attorney first thing this morning and asked for the swiftest possible court date? As soon as the test results were in, he wanted this over and done with. He averted his gaze from the woman busily adjusting the ribbon in his daughter's hair. When Sarah was his in the eyes of the law, then he would concern himself with whatever remained between him and Lauren. Assuming anything did. He doubted she would want anything else to do with him. Gray had no intention of getting his hopes up where Lauren was concerned. Had it not been for Sarah, Lauren would never have given him a second glance. He wasn't the kind of man women like her looked for in a life's mate.

  Last night had been the result of her need for comfort and the physical attraction that had been brewing between them. He knew that then; he knew it now. He should have resisted, but he hadn't. Now it was done. Leaving her bed this morning before she awakened was all that had saved him from complete disgrace.

  He had known better than to take what she offered no matter how badly he had wanted her. The foolish feelings he had allowed to take root inside him would only hurt both of them in the end. And still he hadn't been able to turn away from her. Now she was sorry, and he was guilty.

  Just like before.

  It was the story of his life. Gray let go a heavy breath. Somehow he had to protect Sarah from making the same mistakes.

  "Mr. Gray's gonna teach me to be a extragood rider. And he's gonna take me to all the rodeos I want to go to. You wanna go, too, Mommy?"

  Lauren's gaze shot to his. He knew in a flash how she had interpreted Sarah's words. He braced himself for her fury.

  "You go on in the house, sweetie, and wash up for dinner. I'll be right there."

  Sarah skipped off toward the house, not a care in the world. Gray turned to face the wrath he knew would come. Lauren stalked straight up to him.

  "What are you doing?" she demanded, fury snapping in her green eyes.

  "Making promises I intend to keep." It was that simple.

  "You can't do that. You have to wait until—"

  "Until what, Lauren?" he growled. "Until you and your lawyer have run out of rocks to turn over in your efforts to find something to use against me?"

  She blinked, surprised. Didn't she realize he had known what they were up to from the get-go?

  "That was our deal," she said coolly. "You wouldn't tell her anything until a judge gave you permission. You gave me your word."

  He shook his head. "I gave you my word that I wouldn't tell her I was her father. And I haven't."

  She flung her arms in exasperation. "But you're making her promises—"

  "That I fully intend to keep," he finished for her. The image of her face flushed from their lovemaking zoomed into vivid focus. His hands tightened into fists when the spark of desire instantly warmed his blood. He brutally quashed the emotion. He would not allow his feelings for Lauren to get in the way of what he had to do. He knew the deal. He couldn't ever really have her, shouldn't want her and would never in a million years need her. She represented everything that had gone wrong in his life. The perfect childhood with the perfect parents. Friends, money, fancy schools. All the things Gray had never had. A single night of passion hadn't changed the differences between them.

  No one had given a damn about him one way or another since he was ten years old. Gray had grown up hard and fast and without any source of support, emotional or otherwise. He had never been in love, and as far as he knew no one had loved him in the past twenty or so years. He and Sharon had been friends but nothing more. Gray supposed that she was the closest thing to family he'd had after his mother's death. Of course, he never really thought about it, because he had stopped caring a long time ago.

  He cared now. He wanted more than anything else in this world for Sarah to love him the way she loved Lauren. He wanted her to look at him the way she looked at Lauren. To trust him the way she trusted Lauren.

  The only thing of value Gray owned was his truck. He had spent his entire life under someone else's roof, from the old run-down shack his mother had managed to keep over their heads to the hotel rooms he slept in now. The first order of business once the legal matters were squared away was house shopping. Sarah would need a nice house in a nice neighborhood with a nice school.

  Just like what she has here, he thought with reluctance. Gray turned away from the woman glaring speechlessly up at him. The same things could be found in another town, maybe even in another state.

  "You think it's going to be so simple, don't you?" she demanded, drawing his attention back to her.

  "You'll take Sarah away and life will be perfect wherever you go."

  "Something like that," he explained, though for the life of him he didn't understand why he bothered. She already had the whole scenario planned out in her head. Sure she'd gotten carried away with her mixed-up emotions where he was concerned, but those would clear up quickly enough if the judge leaned in her favor. Gray had made a mistake. Gotten too close. Almost trusted her, but the information his attorney had relayed to him today had cinched his decision. Lauren's attorney had turned Texas upside down trying to find some dirt on him. Even now he was wooing the judge who would most likely hear the case.

  "You blow into town staking your claim to a child you've never even seen before—a child I love with all my heart, I might add. And you have the nerve to suggest that what Sarah and I share can be brushed aside so easily?"

  She was mad now. Really mad. But so was he. He glared at her with all the anger mounting inside him. "I didn't say that. You did."

  "What was last night all about then?" she demanded.

  Hurt glimmered in her eyes. Gray suppressed the emotions he refused to feel. "It was about two people needing each other."

  Lauren nodded. "I see." She folded her arms across her chest and shot him a withering look. "I've changed my mind, Longwalker, I do want you to explain to Sarah exactly why you're here."

  A muscle flexed rhythmically in his tense jaw. "Why don't you give me your version of exactly what I'm supposed to say."

  Lauren took a step toward him, her renewed rage overriding all else. She lifted her chin and glared at him. "You tell her that you want to take her away from me." She blinked back the tears threatening. "You tell her that she'll never see me again. That she'll never see her friends again." Lauren sucked in an unsteady breath. "And when you've told her all that, I want you to see if she still wants to go rodeoing with you."

  Gray reached for the calm he knew was somewhere deep inside him before he allowed himself to speak. "Lauren—" she trembled when he said her name "—I haven't done anything wrong. If you're upset about all this, just remember that the DNA test was your idea, not mine. You are the one who demanded that this issue be resolved in court. Your attorney is the one scrambling for loopholes. I only want my daughter."

  "You know exactly why Don ordered that test. Don't pretend you don't." She swiped fiercely at the single tear that escaped and slid down her cheek.

  "Give it up, Lauren, you won't win. Sarah is my daughter." He held her gaze, though he desperately wanted to look away from the tremendous pain he saw there—pain he knew he was causing. He refused to acknowledge the emotions clutching at his chest. She had brought this particular hurt on herself. Her reaction to his plans with Sarah was solid evidence that she hadn
't changed her ultimate goal, despite what they had shared. "You can't keep her from me," he added harshly. She didn't care about him. She only wanted his daughter.

  She blinked, visibly shaken. "I'm the one who has been a parent to her when she needed one."

  Gray jerked with the effort of holding back his anger at her suggestion. How could he be a parent when he didn't know his child existed? He drew in a ragged breath and let it out slowly to try to put the brakes on his out-of-control emotions. "Believe whatever you choose to, but know this," he said in as controlled a tone as he could manage, "it changes nothing. I am Sarah's biological father. You're not her biological mother."

  "Semantics, Longwalker." Lauren met his heated glare with lead in her own. "Just because you donated the sperm doesn't make you father material."

  "It's all black-and-white for you, isn't it?"

  Ready to storm away, she hesitated and snapped, "What's that supposed to mean?"

  He shook his head at her naiveté. "Life. It's either good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable. No middle ground. That's how you see it."

  "I suppose I'm wrong because I don't see life the jaded way you do?"

  "Why would you? You grew up in a close, loving family. Had everything you ever needed handed to you on a silver platter. How could you possibly see things my way?" He met her sarcasm with a hefty dose of bitterness.

  "You think you're the only person who has suffered trials in their life? It happens to everyone." Her anger seemed to mushroom with every word she uttered.

  "I'm sorry about your mother, and I'm truly sorry that the people in this town have treated you so badly. But I'm not sorry enough to roll over and play dead while you take Sarah away."

  In two strides he had covered the distance between them. Gray towered over Lauren, every muscle in his body rigid with his building rage. "You don't know anything about how it feels to be me." Uncertainty or maybe even fear flickered in her eyes. "You still had your parents, you had friends. A whole network of people who cared about you. I haven't had anyone who cared about me since I was a kid."