Unforgiven (Wanderers #3)

by Jessica Miller

  “It’s time Ella,” Josie said, bringing my attention back to her.

  “Time for what?” I asked confused.

  “They’re calling me back to dull out me punishment,” she said sourly.

  “When?” I was not ready to let her go yet.

  “Tonight.”

  “Tonight? But that’s too soon.” I threw my arms around her. “No. You can’t leave. I just got you back. I’m not ready to let you go.” I tried to fight back the tears.

  “We’ll be in the next room,” Dean said as Cameron followed.

  “I’ll give you guys some time to yourselves,” Billy said, getting up.

  “Thanks babe,” Josie said, forcing a smile. I looked at Tristan. He gave me a slight nod and gestured he would be in the next room with Billy. I mouthed the words, thank you, and turned back to Josie.

  “Josie, I can’t believe this.”

  “I know, but we knew this was coming.”

  “I just didn’t think this soon, not now. Not when I need you the most,” I said, hugging her again.

  “Ella I know, but you will be fine without me. You have plenty of really good friends to help you and who care about you. Plus now you have Tristan too,” she said, handing me a tissue.

  “Yes, but they’re not you.”

  “You need to stop that or I’m going to start crying too.” She laughed lightly.

  “What do you think will happen?”

  “I don’t know, but at least they allowed me some time to say goodbye.”

  “How long?”

  “Not sure, a few hours maybe?”

  “Will you ever be able to come back?”

  “I don’t know,” she sighed. I hugged her again. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I just got her back and now I had to say goodbye all over again. It wasn’t fair and I was tired of losing people I cared about.

  Instead of losing it, I decided to make the most of our time together while I still had it. We spent the next few hours talking. I told her all about Tristan and me and about the night we spent at his grandparents. She told me she was definitely going to make an effort to get back there so she could try some of Deirdre’s whiskey. I rolled my eyes at her and told her it wasn’t worth it. I told her about the psychic today and the weird feeling I got. I asked her if she knew anything about this so called bond the psychic claimed we had and Josie just shook her head no. Perplexed at the memory from earlier today, I thought it best if I let Josie talk for a little.

  She told me about all the things her and Billy did and even admitted for the first time – even though I already knew – that she had feelings for him. She admitted that she really liked him, but never said anything because she knew it would make it that much harder when she had to leave. That was a big step for Josie to admit it. So I didn’t tease her even though I already knew.

  After another hour of gossiping I suggested she go spend some time with Billy. She said she didn’t mind, but I insisted. I knew she wouldn’t tell me straight out but she wanted to spend time with him as well. Even though I had all intention of being selfish and keeping her to myself I knew I couldn’t. I pushed her out the door and gave her what was probably about the tenth hug today.

  Tristan came back into the room and lied down next to me. “How are you feeling?”

  “You can’t feel it?” After talking to Deirdre, when we got back from the so called ‘psychic’, she informed us that our bond should allow us to feel each other’s emotions. I always had a sense that I could feel Tristan’s, but this just confirmed it making me think maybe Pita wasn’t quite the quack we thought she was.

  “No. You’re a jumbled mess,” he said, brushing a piece of hair off of my face.

  “Yeah, I am kind of overwhelmed with everything.”

  “What with?” He started to rub my shoulders.

  “Everything the psychic said, your grandmother, and now Josie leaving.”

  “Ella, don’t listen to anything that crazy nut said and Nan, well, she’s just um…she’s just Nan,” was his best explanation.

  “What was she talking about when she said you made a sacrifice?”

  His hands tightened a bit on my shoulders and I flinched. “Sorry,” he said, kissing them. “Like I said, she’s a nut.” I knew he was lying, but I wasn’t in the mood to start an argument at the moment. So I just let him hold me in silence until Josie came back to say goodbye.

  Chapter twelve

  It was just before midnight when Josie came back into the room. I woke up the moment she stepped inside. “Ella,” she whispered.

  I jumped out of bed and ran to her, holding her tight. “I don’t want you to go,” I blubbered.

  “I don’t want to go either, but if I don’t it will make it that much worse.” I could hear the sorrow in her voice and I knew she was trying hard not to cry.

  I pulled back to take one long, last look at her. She lost the fight to keep her tears from spilling over. I began to cry right along with her. “I really hate this you know.” I think I was having a harder time saying goodbye to her now than when she died.

  “I know, but if I can I promise I’ll come back or at least pop in from time to time.”

  “Where’s Billy?”

  “We already said our goodbye.” I nodded. “Okay well, gotta go,” she said abruptly. I reached out to hug her again, not ready to let her go, but she was already gone. I just stood there, staring at the empty spot where she just had been.

  Tristan was behind me in an instant. He placed his hands on my shoulders for comfort. “I thought you were sleeping?” I pressed my body against his.

  “I was but then I heard Josie come in and I didn’t want you to think I was intruding.” I turned around to face him. “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to go back to bed.”

  “We could always…” he wiggled his brows and started to send me images.

  I smacked his chest. “Is that all you ever think about?”

  He smiled. “You are what I always think about.”

  “That’s so sweet I think I might vomit,” I said, giving him an exaggerated smile.

  “Oh how I love that charming girl of mine.” He pulled me back to bed.

  “You know you figured out this empathy thing pretty quick. How I can I be so sure this wasn’t a power you already had?” I asked suspiciously.

  “I swear this is all new to me. I’m just really good at picking things up. Plus I’ve had my powers a lot longer so I know more on control.”

  “Just rub it in.”

  “Ella, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ll get there, besides I think you’re doing pretty well considering you have multiple powers and could quite possibly be the most powerful vampire out there.”

  “I guess,” I shrugged.

  “You really don’t know how to take a compliment do you?” he laughed.

  “Whatever.” I rolled over on my side.

  “Ella, what are you getting so worked up about?”

  “I’m not,” I snapped, totally proving to him I was.

  “Clearly,” he said.

  “I just want to go to sleep.” I moved away from him.

  “Why are you moving away from me?”

  “Because you’re annoying me,” I said, stuffing a pillow between us.

  “How am I annoying?”

  “You just are.”

  “Look, I know you’re upset about Josie but starting a fight with me is not going to make it hurt less.” I got up from the bed, took a pillow, and tore the blanket off. “Where are you going?” I ignored him and slammed the bathroom door behind me. Yes I was getting worked up for no reason and he was probably right about me starting a fight because I was upset about Josie leaving, not to mention everything else that happened and the fact that I felt like I had no privacy. I couldn’t even keep my own feelings to myself. Because of our bond Tristan could feel what I felt.

  “Ella?” Tristan knocked on the door.

  �
�Go away.” I didn’t want to talk and I didn’t want him to try and make me feel better. I preferred at the moment to be miserable.

  But of course he didn’t go away. I heard a click on the door and Tristan stepped into the bathroom. He pulled back the shower curtain and looked at me with raised brows. “You’re really going to sleep in the bathtub?”

  “Leave me alone,” I said, pulling the curtain back.

  “Ella, I know you’re upset about everything that happened today and you feel guilty for Josie leaving and rather be miserable –”

  “Get out of my head!” I yelled, frustrated.

  “I know this bond between us…well too you is, frustrating, but I think it’s a good thing.”

  “Of course you would like it,” I said snarky.

  “Ella,” he pulled the curtain back again. “If I promise not to invade your personal space, will come out and talk to me?”

  “Like you are now?”

  “The bathtub is your personal space?” I glared at him. “Okay if you promise to come out of the bathtub and come back to bed I will not tune into your emotions and invade your personal bubble.”

  “You mean if I stop acting childish.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “But you were thinking it. I guess you’re not as good at blocking me from your head as you thought,” I said, pulling the curtain back.

  “Right. You can get in my head anytime you want and I don’t have the right to be mad at you for you invading my privacy but you can get mad at me because I know how you’re feeling? How is that fair.”

  “Because you say what’s ever on your mind anyways so what difference does it make? And because I can’t stop what I feel, but you can block me from your mind.”

  I heard him sigh as he sat down on the edge of the bathtub. “I’m not leaving so you’re just going to have to pout with me in here.”

  “How’d you even get in in the first place? The door was locked.”

  “I am half-vampire…remember?”

  “Yeah, because that’s easy to forget and that still doesn’t explain how you magically unlocked the door from the outside.”

  “I think you just answered your own question.” Of course, magic. His grandmother was a witch so that would make Tristan part witch as well. Great, just great.

  I decided I wanted to be alone and I didn’t care if he thought I was being childish. I was tired of not having a normal life and tired of having so many things taken away from me. I got up and left the bathroom closing the door behind me. I moved the chest in front of the door so Tristan couldn’t get out – well he wouldn’t be able to right away at least. I knew I could use my power to keep the door closed, but that took too much effort and I didn’t have enough energy left.

  I heard Tristan try to open the door, but of course it took some effort. “Ella, very funny,” he said, not amused. “When I get out of here you are in serious trouble.”

  “What are you my father now?”

  I heard the chest hit the ground and Tristan step out of the bathroom. I refused to turn and look at him. He made his way over to the bed and climbed on top of me. “Ella, stop this.”

  “What, stop acting like a child?”

  “Yes…you are acting like a child.”

  I turned around to face him. “Last I checked you seemed to like little girls.” He narrowed his eyes at me. I stared at him for a moment. His eyes were tired and I could feel him getting exhausted by this discussion. I put my hands on his chest to push him away.

  He grabbed my wrists and flung my hands above my head. “You may be more powerful, but I’m still stronger.” I struggled to get free, but he was right, he was stronger. He had a smug look on his face happy that he could over power me. I thought about bringing up my shield, but I didn’t want to hurt him, well, not that bad. I stopped struggling and he loosened his grip on my wrists. I turned my head to the side hoping he couldn’t see me cry. “La mia bella stella.” He gripped my chin and forced me to look at him.

  “Don’t,” I said, hoping my voice wouldn’t betray me. He let go of my wrists and laid beside me pulling me into him. Then he started to stroke my hair as I began to cry.

  “I know you fight to be strong, but it’s okay to give in and it’s okay to be sad and cry. No one is going to think less of you.” I sucked in a sob. “Ella, whatever happens from here on out, we’ll figure it out…together.”

  “I wanna go home,” I said.

  “That sounds like a good idea.”

  In the morning we made arrangements to fly back to California the next day. Tristan had convinced me that I should talk to my dad and make amends. No matter who said what he knew I could never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try to fix things with my dad and he was right.

  Dean agreed to come along back to California and Cameron said she didn’t want to face things at school alone and wanted to come with. I didn’t argue. Billy was the only one who decided he wasn’t going to follow us back. I tried to convince him to come with us but he said he wanted to stay behind in Ireland a little longer. He had a few friends on a mission in the surrounding area that he wanted to catch up with. I think with Josie gone again he felt there was nothing keeping him in one place for too long and with Tristan back he knew I would be safe. I wanted him to go back to the school where I knew he would be safe and be of good use to the other students. But I also knew part of him believed the few memories he had of Josie there would be too hard. He also told me he was going to keep looking for Jack. I told him I didn’t think it was wise for him to search alone, but Billy was stubborn. I think losing Josie again put him over the edge and now he was dead set on finding Jack and taking him down. I didn’t argue with him anymore. I knew there was no point.

  We decided to make one last trip to Tristan’s grandparent’s house before we left. Dean, Cameron and Billy even came along with us. Deirdre and Caleb cooked us a big dinner. As happy as they were to see Tristan alive, they were sad to see him leave.

  After dinner Cameron and I headed into the living room while the boys hung out in the kitchen helping themselves to their second helping of Deidre’s apple pie. For once I was too stuffed to take another bite. “As much as I’m ready to go home, I think I’m going to really miss this place,” Cameron admitted.

  “I know what you mean. It’s really beautiful here.”

  “Yeah, the scenery is nice,” she said dazedly. She was hiding something. I almost got through to find out when she quickly realized her guard was down and blocked me. She walked over to the mantel and quickly changed the subject. “Is this Tristan?” she asked, pointing to the picture.

  I walked over to get a closer look. There was no doubt in my mind that the little boy in the picture was Tristan, but the little boy standing next to him I had no idea who he was. “Well this one is Tristan.”

  “How can you tell? They look almost exactly alike,” Cameron said, examining the picture. They both had dark blue eyes, long, dark, curly hair and eyelashes. They both had the same strong jawline, narrow nose, and bushy eyebrows. If I didn’t know any better I would think they were identical twins.

  But there was one distinct difference that kept them different. “The smile,” I said grinning. “I can recognize that smile anywhere.”

  “He looks kind of cocky.”

  I laughed. “Yep, that’s definitely Tristan.”

  “Do you know who the other boy in the picture with him is?”

  “No. I have no idea.” I turned as I heard Deirdre walk into the room. “Deirdre, who is this in the picture with Tristan?”

  “You don’t know?” she asked surprised. I wanted to say well duh, that’s why I asked, but decided not to ruin a good evening. She walked over to the picture and smiled. Then she placed her hand gently over the picture and sighed. “That is Tristan’s –”

  “Cousin,” Tristan said, interrupting her. Deirdre whipped around, shooting hot daggers at Tristan with her eyes. He leaned in the doorway, staring back at his grandmoth
er. They exchanged a few looks before she huffed.

  “Doesn’t matter, family is family,” Deirdre said, stomping out of the room.

  “What was that all about?” I asked as Tristan made his way over to me.

  He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. “Nothing.”

  “Tristan, I know you’re lying, don’t make me –”

  “Okay, okay. We were really close when we were little, but I haven’t seen him since I was seventeen. We obviously don’t get along anymore so I didn’t think it was worth mentioning.” I knew he was still hiding something, but Tristan begged me not to push the subject. I respected his wishes and left it alone. “Take a walk with me?”

  I nodded and followed Tristan out into the garden. “I’m really glad I got to see this place in person. I just wish it was under better circumstances,” I said, admiring the garden.

  “At least now we can experience it together.”

  I shifted so I was standing in front of him now. “Tristan, I’m sorry about last night. You were right, I was acting childish I just…I just…”

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry, I understand.”

  “I don’t know why you put up with me,” I smiled.

  “I don’t know why I do either,” he sighed. I smacked his chest. He laughed and squeezed me tighter. “I put up with you because I love you. Because I couldn’t imagine my world without this beautiful face in it,” he said, gripping my chin and making my heart melt. I lifted up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his.

  “I hate to interrupt, but we need to get going. We have an early flight tomorrow,” Dean said, even though he clearly didn’t mind interrupting. I sighed and pulled myself away long enough so we could say goodbye. I thanked Caleb and Deirdre for all their generous hospitality and managed a civil goodbye from Josef. After him and Tristan talked things were, well, they weren’t as tense. Josef even gave us both a hug goodbye.

  As we turned to leave, Deirdre stopped me by grabbing my hand. I turned to look at her. She stepped closer and wrapped her short, stubby arms around me. I didn’t know who was more surprised, me or her. When she pulled back she handed me a small, blue velvet pouch and said, “Only use this when you need it most.”