Unforgiven (Wanderers #3)

by Jessica Miller

  Here’s to growing old together. Happy Birthday!

  Dear Ella, I’m sorry I can’t be there for you on your birthday. I promise I will find a way to make it up to you. Hope all your wishes come true.

  Happy Birthday Bestie!

  Love, Josie.

  I’d been so out of it I couldn’t believe I actually forgot it was my birthday. It didn’t really matter anyways. I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. I sighed and stuffed the card back in my bag and reached for the sleeping pills. I no longer wanted to think anymore. I just wanted to shut off my brain and sleep for as long as possible. I knew as soon as I got home I would have a lot more challenges ahead of me and at the moment I could only handle one disappointment at a time.

  When the pills wore off and I finally woke up, Dean was sitting next to me. We upgraded to first class. Dean said there was no way he was flying coach and sitting in those tiny seats and I didn’t blame him. “Hey,” he said. “How are you feeling?” I let him know with just a look how I felt – broken. He frowned not liking my expression. “Well, I have something for you that make you feel better.”

  Dean pulled down the tray and placed a vanilla cupcake with pink icing on top in front of me. “Happy Birthday,” he smiled. “Sorry there’s no candles, but you know being on an airplane and all.”

  “Got it…and thanks, Dean,” I said, forcing a smile.

  He twisted his hands in his lap. I knew he was trying to think of what to say without making me upset. “I’m sorry it wasn’t a happier birthday. I know you’re really upset about Josie and…” he trailed off; scared I might lose it if he mentioned his name. “Look, he was a dick. It was a dick move and the coward’s way out,” Dean growled. “He doesn’t deserve you and his ass better stay hidden or I’ll –”

  “Enough,” I said, putting my hand up. I didn’t want to hear it.

  “I’m sorry,” he said again, letting out a breath. I reached over and squeezed his hand letting him know not to worry so much. “Are you going to make a wish?” he asked, gesturing to the cupcake.

  “I guess I could be thankful that I survived long enough to see another birthday.”

  “That’s the spirit,” he said, nudging my shoulder.

  Cameron popped her head over the seat. “What you guys doing? Hey, where’d you get that cupcake?”

  “I managed to coax one off the stewardesses,” Dean said, winking at me.

  “I want one,” Cameron whined.

  “Here, you can have mine,” I said, handing her the cupcake.

  “Ella,” Dean started, but I gave him a look to let it go. Cameron looked between us wondering what was going on, but just as quickly she shrugged it off and grabbed my cupcake.

  “Dean, do you mind, but I kind of want to be alone.”

  “That’s kind of hard to do on an airplane full of people,” he joked. I narrowed my eyes at him letting him know I was not in the mood. He put up his hands and gave me my space, but not before giving me a quick kiss to the forehead. “Happy Birthday Ella,” he whispered. I managed a small smile and leaned back into my seat.

  When the plane finally arrived in California, my stomach started to do flip flops. I was not looking forward to seeing my dad. “Ella, why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” Cameron asked, meeting me at the luggage carousel.

  “Because it’s not important,” I said, annoyed that Dean told her.

  “Like hell it isn’t. It’s your birthday and we need to celebrate,” she gushed.

  “I’m not in the mood to celebrate. I rather just skip this one if you don’t mind.” My attitude was enough for her to drop it. I grabbed my bag and turned around almost smacking into Dean. I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “She’s your friend and she should know and you should let her take you out. She’s just trying to help,” Dean projected. I glared at him and walked away. I didn’t want anyone’s help and the last thing I wanted was to go out and be around people, but I also didn’t want to hurt Cameron’s feelings so I told her maybe we could do something later.

  After we collected our luggage, we flagged down a cab, and made our way to my house. I dreaded every minute of the ride. I was not prepared at all and was slowly regretting it. I had no idea what I was walking into, but as much as I hated to admit it, Tristan was right. I would never forgive myself if I didn’t work things out with my father.

  The driver pulled up to the front of the house. I took a breath before I got out of the car. Well, here goes nothing.

  “Ella, you coming?” Dean asked, as he dragged his suitcase behind him and up the brick pathway to the house.

  I couldn’t seem to remember how to make my feet move. It felt like they were glued to the ground where I stood. Dean watched me for a few seconds before he turned around and walked back to me. “Come on, we’ll do this together.” He took my hand and pulled me toward the door.

  “Do you want me to wait outside?” Cameron asked. Her expression said she wasn’t looking forward to this anymore than I was.

  “Don’t be silly,” I said, grabbing her hand. “Besides, we might need a witness,” I gulped.

  Hands locked tight, the three of us stepped inside the house. Everything was quiet. No sounds of a normal busy morning with my mom running around and getting ready or Danni cleaning or my dad racing out the door on his way to work. “Where is everyone?” I asked. Dean shook his head as I walked into the kitchen.

  Everything was spotless. I half expected at least the remnants of the smell of stale coffee, but nothing. I spotted the clock on the stove that read eleven am. I forgot about the time difference. “I checked the garage. All their cars are gone,” Dean said, opening the fridge. When he closed the door he pulled a note from the fridge that was addressed to Danni. “They’re at the club,” he said, handing me the note.

  “On a week day?” I asked confused.

  “Ella, it’s Saturday,” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

  All the time spent in Ireland I never really paid much attention to what day it was let alone the date. I guess that would explain why I forgot my own birthday. I looked over the note to Danni. It was in my mom’s hand writing. She had left a list of instructions of things to do before arriving at the club for Xander and Jasa’s engagement party tonight. “Engagement party?” I leaned on the counter and looked at Dean. “How come we didn’t know about this?” I asked a little perturbed.

  “Well, you know, technically when you’re out of the family you don’t get invited to family functions anymore.”

  “Yeah but Xander would never do that to us,” I said, staring at the note and wondering what else was going on that I didn’t know about. I was also a little annoyed that they would plan to do this on my birthday of all days. I put the note back on the fridge and sat down on one of the stools by the counter. “So what do we do now?”

  “Eat,” Dean said, scouring the fridge again. “Where’s Danni, I would really love some of her eggs right about now.”

  “You are so spoiled.” I got up and took out the eggs, milk, butter, and juice. I made us all breakfast and then we sat down at the table to eat. When we were finished, I was just about to clear my plate when I heard the garage door open. My stomach dropped. I froze and looked at Dean. I had no idea who to expect and was never so happy to see Danni walk through the door.

  She stopped in her tracks when she saw us. “Well, you two are the last people I expected to see here,” she smiled, throwing her bags on the counter.

  I jumped out of my chair and ran over to her throwing my arms around her. “Oh Danni, I missed you so much.”

  “Ella…can’t breathe,” she gasped. I loosened my grip allowing her to retrieve the much needed air she desired. Dean smiled and winked at her from where he sat. She just laughed and rolled her eyes. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but, what are you doing here?”

  “We thought it was time to come home,” I said, letting go and taking a step away.

  Danni saw the disappointed look on my face and emb
raced me in another hug. “Ella, I’m sorry you couldn’t find him.”

  “I found him,” I mumbled into her shoulder.

  “That’s great!” She pulled back to look at me. “Why do I get the feeling you’re not telling me everything?”

  “It’s a very long story and I’m very tired,” I said, not wanting to get into it. I was still angry at how things ended and was afraid I might take that anger out on innocent people.

  “Why don’t you go up to your room and rest? Your parents will be gone all day. Your dad and Xander are dealing with business stuff, as usual, and your mom is busy getting things ready for the party tonight.”

  I gave Danni an apologetic look. I wondered how she was dealing with everything but knew I couldn’t ask her with Cameron and Dean there. A small silence came over everyone and Danni quickly spoke up changing the subject. “So who’s your guest?”

  “Sorry, got a little side tracked. Danni this is Cameron, one of our friends from school.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Danni said politely. “How long will you be staying? Should I get the guest room ready?”

  “Oh no, you don’t have to go to any trouble,” Cameron said, waving her off.

  “It’s my job and it’s no trouble,” Danni smiled.

  “No need Danni. Cameron can stay in my room,” Dean chirped, throwing Cameron a cocky smile. “So don’t bother making my bed. The sheets are just going to get crumpled up anyways.” All three of us glared at him and then took turns smacking him.

  I laughed while Dean rubbed his arms and head. “Please Dean, Cameron does have some standards.”

  “Thanks, I think?” Cameron laughed.

  “I see you guys are here less than an hour and already making a mess,” Danni said, staring at the dirty dishes and pans in the sink.

  I looked away sheepishly. “Sorry.”

  She automatically started to clean and I told her to leave it and that I would clean up the mess. “Ella, it’s okay. Besides, I rather be doing this. Trust me.”

  “So where is our so called brother?” Dean asked, leaning back casually in his chair.

  “He and your father have some last minute business to take care of. They should be home shortly.”

  “All work and no play make Xander a dull boy,” Dean quipped.

  “We all have to grow up sometime. Even you Dean will understand someday,” Xander said, surprising us all. I stood there not sure how to react. I didn’t know if he was mad at us and taking dad’s side. “You going to just stand there or you going to give your big bro a hug?” he said, holding out his arms.

  I hesitated, not sure if it was a trick or not. “Read his mind,” Dean projected. I looked at Xander. I opened myself up and stretched out to reach into his head. The second I penetrated the surface I knew immediately it wasn’t a trick. I should have known from the beginning, but with my father, who knew. He could have brainwashed Xander.

  The second I felt how much he missed us I stopped my invasion on his mind and ran into his arms. “I’ve missed you too,” I said, squeezing him back.

  “Don’t pretend you’re too cool to give your big bro a hug,” Xander said to Dean. Dean rolled his eyes and got up. He gave Xander a friendly pat on the back. Before he could pull away Xander grabbed him and hugged him, squishing me in the middle.

  “Okay guys, you’re crushing me.” They gave one final squeeze and I yelped. Laughing, they let go and had a seat at the table. I introduced Cameron to Xander and then asked, “So…where’s dad?” My voice was a little shakier than I intended it to be.

  “He had a few more things to finish up at the office, but he’ll be home shortly.”

  I sat down at the table with everyone while Danni continued to clean. I was getting nervous and my stomach was starting to hurt just thinking about it. Cameron gently squeezed my hand noticing my tension. I tried to smile at her, but my nerves were getting the best of me. I heard the garage door and I thought I was going to hurl.

  “Maybe I should take Cameron to the club with me. I don’t think she needs to be for this,” Danni offered.

  Great, there goes our only witness. “That’s probably a good idea. Do you mind Cameron?”

  “Is there a pool?” I nodded. “Then it’s all good,” she said, getting up and following Danni out the door.

  I turned back to the door that entered to the garage and then looked back at Dean. “Last chance, if we hurry we could probably make it out of here before they get through the door,” I said. Dean smiled and walked over to stand beside me. I held my breath as I watched the doorknob turn and listened to my mom telling my dad all the details of what needed to be done today and yelling at him for working on a day she needed him most.

  When they finally stepped into the kitchen and saw us, my mom shut up. I saw a slight softness in my dad’s eyes before they were quickly replaced by anger. He looked me dead in the eye and then walked out. “Liam,” my mom chastised.

  “Not now Jamila,” he said, heading to his office.

  “Yes now!” She yelled, putting her foot down. “You are not going to walk out on your children.”

  He stopped, whipped his head around, and looked directly at me. “It was their choice to leave. They’re the ones you should be lecturing,” he growled.

  “Our choice?” I stood up. “If I recall you didn’t give us much of a choice.”

  “I will not have my children running around on some wild goose chase doing god knows what. You create trouble Ella.”

  “Here we go again,” I said, grabbing my stuff. “I knew this was a mistake. I should have never come back here.” I started to walk out but Xander and Dean stopped me. “Move!” I growled, but they refused. I was prepared to take them out if necessary.

  “Let her leave. If she wants to live her life recklessly then let her. Who are we to stop her? We’re not her family anymore,” my dad spat. I flinched. His words cut deep causing a slight pain in my heart.

  “Enough!” my mom screamed. “Ella, you are not going anywhere and we all are a family. Damn it Liam I will not put up with this anymore. Sit down, all of you!” No one moved. “Now!” my mom yelled so loud her powerful voice boomed throughout the whole house.

  Dean, Xander, and I quickly took a seat at the table. My dad made his way over slowly, still keeping his distance. My mom stared him down until he sat. “Now, we are all going to sit here and discuss this like civilized people. Is that clear?” We all nodded and my dad just stared at me.

  My mom let out a breath and took a seat beside my dad. “Despite what you may think, both your father and I are happy to have you both home and safe. Unfortunately I was not there when this whole mishap happened,” she glared at my dad. “And I’m sure some things were said that weren’t meant.” It was my turn to get her evil glare. “But we are family no matter what and we all make mistakes,” she said, looking at my dad again. “Now, does anyone have anything they’d like to say?”

  “I guess this must mean you’re done with this little adventure. You’ve given up?” my dad asked.

  “First off, I never give up,” I said with my head held high. “And yes, I found him. If that’s what you were wondering.”

  His eyes went wide and he tried to cover his surprised reaction with a scowl by crossing his arms. “So does this mean you’re done acting like a child?”

  I stood up to leave. “Ella, sit,” my mom warned.

  “No.” I stood firm. “I’m tired of him treating me like I’m some great disappointment and embarrassment.”

  “Is that what you think?” my dad asked. I looked down before I took a breath and looked him straight in the eye. His face softened and he looked almost sad. “I’d like to speak to Ella, alone.”

  I had a slight fear for my life. “Only if you promise me you’ll still be here when you’re done,” my mom said, looking at me. I didn’t answer right away. “Ella?”

  “I promise mom.” I let go of some of my frustration and sat back down. Xander, Dean, and my mom left th
e room, leaving just me and my dad.

  The room grew silent as we both just sat there waiting for the other to start. I tried to get inside his head to see what he was thinking, but I found nothing. “You can’t read my mind,” he said, matter of fact.

  I creased my brows. “Why not?”

  “Mind readers can’t read each other’s minds.”

  “What?” I asked surprised.

  “I’m not sure exactly. I think it’s a natural defensive power. A perk if you ask me,” he said with a slight smile. I looked down at my hands not knowing what to say. “Ella,” he began. “You are not a disappointment or an embarrassment. I never want you to think that. Why would you even think that?”

  “You’re kidding, right? After everything you said? The way you always talk down to me. The constant disapproval of everything I do.”

  “Ella, I am your father. I’m not always going to agree with the decisions you make, but I would never not want you as my daughter.”

  “Then why did you say those things?” I cried. I bit my lip, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me.

  “Because I was angry and sometimes threats are my only way to make things go my way, usually. I never actually thought you would stand up to me.”

  “That’s because I’m not one of your employees or some hostage. I am your daughter.”

  “I know,” he said softly and I almost swore I could see some moisture in his eyes. I have never in my life seen my dad cry. He was the strongest man I knew.

  “You think by now you’d know I’m not one to back down and I stand my ground.”

  “Yes, you are very stubborn,” he said, cracking a small smile. “Ella, you have to understand that with Xander and Dean it was easier.” He reached across the table and placed his hand on mine. “You are my baby girl. My only daughter who I would give my life for. You have to understand that I don’t always know what I’m doing”

  “You got that right.” His hand tightened on mine and I could tell he didn’t appreciate my comment.

  Instead of losing it, he closed his eyes and took a breath, loosening his grip on my hand. “Ella, I just don’t want to see anything happen to you. So when you fly across the country and don’t tell anyone…I just…I think the unimaginable could happen and if it did I couldn’t live with myself.”