The Year that Everything Changed

by Georgia Bockoven

  “Wait a minute. When I talked to her last night she said she didn’t know what she wanted to do, and now she’s decided to give the baby up for adoption?”

  “No—at least not that I know of. Every time I ask she tells me she doesn’t want to think about it, that she has lots of time to make up her mind.”

  “Are you sure she isn’t waiting for you to make the decision for her?”

  “That’s not going to happen. It wouldn’t matter what I told her, five minutes later it would be wrong.”

  “I’m glad you realize that.”

  She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I don’t know what I’ll do if she decides on adoption. It would kill me to know we had a grandchild growing up without us.”

  “I was thinking about that on the way home tonight, remembering what it was like when the kids were little and how much fun we had with them. This would be twice as much fun because we could send him home when he got cranky.”

  “What would you say if she asked us to take care of the baby until she finished school and got on her feet?”

  Sam let out a pent-up sigh, let her go, and went into the bedroom to get dressed. “I’ve been waiting for that.”

  Elizabeth followed him. “It would only be a couple of years.”

  “And then you’d turn the kid over to a woman who didn’t have a clue how to be a mother? Right in the middle of the terrible twos?”

  “She would have to finish school here so she could help raise him, and so they could get to know each other.”

  “And you think she would agree to that? She doesn’t want to be a mother, Lizzy. She has all the maternal instincts of a sea horse—drop ’em, take off, and let the father raise them. Only in her case that’s not possible.”

  “It’s done, Sam. Like it or not, there’s never going to be a boy showing up on the doorstep to lay claim to his child.”

  He tossed his shirt on the bed. “How could she do that? How could she not have more respect for herself? I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. She was being used, Lizzy, and she let it happen.”

  She’d been Daddy’s little girl, the light of his life, the twinkle in his eye, the father who questioned her dates and stayed up until she was home, convinced she would be a virgin until her wedding night because it was what he wanted to believe. “We don’t know all the circumstances.”

  “Please tell me you’re not defending her,” he said.

  “There isn’t anything to defend.” Stephanie and Sam had locked horns so many times since she’d come home, Elizabeth had finally gotten him to back off by telling him the stress on Stephanie wasn’t good for the baby. It wasn’t that Stephanie didn’t need to hear what he said, it was that she wasn’t listening. He had to find a different way to get through to her. They both did. “All I’m saying is that we have to find a way to get past how it happened so we can focus on what needs to be done now.”

  He picked up his knit shirt and pulled it over his head, then tucked it into his pants. “We need to get away for a couple of days. What about next weekend?”

  “I have to go to Sacramento on Sunday.”

  “That’s another thing. When are you going to tell Stephanie about your sisters?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  The phone rang. Stephanie picked up in the other room. Seconds later she shouted from the hallway, “Mom, it’s for you.”

  Elizabeth grabbed the phone on the nightstand. “Hello?”

  “It’s Christina.”

  Elizabeth looked at Sam, shrugged, and frowned. “Oh, hi.”

  “I have a favor to ask. A pretty big one. It’s okay to say no. Actually, I’ve already come up with a couple of reasons why you should say no. Feel free to use one of them if you can’t think of one of your own.”

  “I’m pretty good at thinking up my own excuses when I don’t want to do something.”

  “Good. That makes it easier to ask. I should tell you it’s not going to hurt my feelings or anything if you do say no. I don’t even know why I’m asking you—not really. It’s not like we’re friends or anything.”

  “What is it, Christina? The suspense is killing me.”

  “I have to go to Oregon for a couple of days next month, and Lucy doesn’t think I should go alone. I just thought if you weren’t doing anything that you might want to go along. I can’t pay your way now, but I can pay you back. If you haven’t seen it, Grants Pass is beautiful in October. Or so I hear.”

  Elizabeth could only imagine how much pride it had cost Christina to ask. She had to be desperate. “Okay.”

  “What?”

  “I said, okay.”

  “You’re sure?” Christina asked, plainly surprised at the answer.

  “Sam was just telling me that I should get away for a couple of days.” Of course he’d meant with him. “And I’ve always wanted to see Grants Pass in October. You can fill me in on the details on Sunday.”

  “Okay.” She started to hang up. “Uh, thanks.”

  “No problem.” She handed the phone to Sam to return to its base.

  “What was that all about?”

  “I’m going to Oregon with Christina for a couple of days next month.”

  “Isn’t she the one you don’t like?”

  “You mean the one I said I’d rather eat snails than be around? I don’t know if she’s mellowed or I have, but she’s not as bad as she used to be.”

  “Why Oregon?”

  “She didn’t say, but I have a feeling it has something to do with the old boyfriend.”

  “The one who broke her jaw? I’m not sure I like you getting involved with something that involves him. As a matter of fact, I know I don’t.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll take the pepper spray Michael got me for Christmas.” She smiled. “If I can find it.”

  “Any man who uses a woman as a punching bag isn’t going to be put off by a can of pepper spray.”

  “I’ll get one for Christina, too. Not even Jackie Chan could get through two women armed with pepper spray.”

  “Stop joking, Lizzy. This is serious.”

  She put her arms around his neck. “I know it is. And I promise I’ll be careful.”

  “I want to know exactly where you’ll be and everything you’re going to do before you leave or I’m not going to let you go.”

  Her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “Let me go?”

  “Okay, poor choice of words. How’s this—before I let you go alone?”

  “Better, but it still needs some work.”

  He brought her back into his arms and kissed her. “Hmm, you smell good. Sure you want to go out?”

  “I don’t know. . . . What did you have in mind?”

  “Get rid of that dress and I’ll show you.”

  “Now?”

  “Why not now?”

  “Did you forget about Stephanie?”

  He groaned. “How long do you think this is going to last?”

  Elizabeth kissed the tip of his nose. Sam didn’t expect an answer, but she gave one anyway. “Six months? A year? It all depends on what she decides to do with the baby.”

  “So, I guess that means we won’t be making love on the rug in front of the fireplace anytime soon?”

  He was joking, but she was serious when she asked, “When did we start thinking of the house as ours instead of theirs, too?”

  He considered her question. “For me it was a couple of Christmases ago when everyone left and we were taking down the tree. I was repairing that ornament we’d picked up on our honeymoon, and I started thinking about all the places we’d talked about seeing and the things we’d talked about doing when the kids were grown. I miss what we had when the kids were little, but I don’t want it back. It’s our time now.”

  Stephanie knocked on the door. “I’m hungry. There’s nothing to eat.”

  “Seems I’ve been forgiven,” Elizabeth whispered. She went to the door and opened it. “There’s soup and tuna in
the cupboard.”

  “Yuk.”

  “Peanut butter?”

  “Double yuk.”

  Sam sat on the bed to tie his shoes. “You’re still welcome to come with us. But we’re leaving in five minutes.”

  “Where are you going?”

  He pinned her with a stare. “A new Italian restaurant near the mall. Take it or leave it.”

  “Give me a second to comb my hair.”

  Elizabeth reached out to pat his rear end as he passed. “I love it when you act tough.”

  “Then you’re going to be ecstatic when you get ready to leave for Oregon.”

  She put her hand over her chest. “Be still my heart.”

  “I’m going to remind you of this.”

  She hit the light switch. “I have no doubt.”

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  Ginger

  Ginger finished her stretching exercises and went to the living room window to look outside before leaving for the track. Seven-thirty at night and heat waves still undulated throughout the city. She tried to remember if it had been this hot a September ago, but to her weather was like the new crop of sitcoms promised for the fall lineup—easily forgotten. She’d had it with the sunshine that had baked the hills surrounding San Jose a crusty brown and turned the air a smog-laden gray. Even knowing their potential destructive power, she missed the dark menacing rain clouds that rolled across the plains of Colorado and Kansas.

  In California it didn’t rain in the summer. Couldn’t. Too many crops would be ruined. She imagined an army of elves stationed offshore that beat the rain clouds into fog before they could reach land. Four more months and she could go home. All she had to do was figure out where home was. Her mother was pushing for Denver, on the good days reminding Ginger how much she loved to ski, on the bad ones finding reasons to mention how old she and Ginger’s dad were getting. Ginger recognized the gentle coercion for what it was and rarely commented. Love traveled a convoluted path in the Reynolds household.

  Not up to hearing pseudo-sympathy or, worse yet, jubilation, Ginger still hadn’t told her mother about Marc. She needed distance and a little objectivity before she could answer the questions that would follow the announcement. Besides, she’d given Delores enough turmoil that summer with exposed secrets and unimagined wealth.

  The phone rang. Ginger knew before she picked up that it was her mother. It seemed all Ginger had to do was think about talking to her mother lately and she called.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “How did you know it was me?”

  “I was channeling you.”

  “What?”

  Ginger laughed. “Nothing. What’s up?”

  “Are you busy? You’re not in the middle of dinner, are you?”

  “Just getting ready to go running.”

  “Did you know running is hard on your knees? Bicycling is supposed to be better.”

  “You’ve been reading again.”

  “I read all the time. It wouldn’t hurt you to pick up a magazine now and then.”

  “I know this isn’t why you called.”

  “I’ve been thinking about Jessie and what was on those tapes. Maybe I’ve been too hard on him.”

  Ginger sat down on the sofa and put her feet on the coffee table, settling in for the duration of the call. “In what way?”

  “Men were different back then. They weren’t expected to know anything about raising kids, and most women wouldn’t put up with having them try. Nowadays you think nothing of seeing a man in a grocery store pushing a cart with a child in it. Back then everyone would have stopped and stared. It could be that Jessie didn’t give you up because he didn’t care, but because he didn’t know how to take care of you.”

  It was as close to a speech as Ginger had ever heard her mother make. “What brought this on?”

  “I don’t know. I guess it’s that I don’t feel as threatened as I did six months ago.” Delores paused, but it was obvious she had more to say. “I know it sounds corny, but a heart has room to love a lot of people. What I’m trying to say is, it’s all right with me and your father if you love Jessie, too.”

  She thought she did, at least a little, but it was nothing like the love she had for the man and woman who had raised her. “You’re always surprising me.”

  “That’s nice to hear. I’d hate to be old and predictable.”

  “You’re never predictable.”

  Delores laughed. “Just old, huh? I’ll have you know your father signed us up for six weeks of ballroom dancing.”

  “Dad did that?”

  “Just yesterday. He was at his investing seminar and saw a notice on the bulletin board.”

  “Investing seminar?” she repeated, fearing what was coming. Every dime her parents had managed to put away had been spent on college tuition for her and her brother Billy. They didn’t have any money to invest. “Is Dad studying to become my financial adviser?” she joked halfheartedly.

  “He just wants to make sure you don’t get taken.”

  “Tell him to study hard. I’m going to need all the advice he can give me.” It wouldn’t be her investments he would have to keep an eye on, but his own. She knew it wouldn’t be easy to get them to take any of the money, which was why she was waiting until she actually had it before she said anything. But like it or not, her parents were only months away from becoming millionaires.

  Delores laughed. “He’s going to like hearing that.”

  “Maybe this will convince him he needs a computer.” Ginger got up and went to the window to look outside again, checking the progress of the sun. She liked to time her run to get back before it was completely dark and she had to walk home looking over her shoulder. She started to turn away when a movement caught her eye. It was a car coming into the complex. A Mercedes. Red. She didn’t have to see the personalized plate to know who was behind the wheel.

  “Mom, I’m sorry, but if I don’t get out of here I won’t get back from the track before dark.”

  “Just think about what I said about Jessie.”

  “I will. I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

  Ginger hung up, tossed the phone on the sofa, and stood to the side of the window so Marc wouldn’t see her. He got out of the car and reached into the backseat, withdrawing an enormous bouquet of white roses.

  He’d come to the condo twice since the night she broke up with him, called her at home daily, and sent flowers to her office six times. So far she’d avoided talking to him, hoping he would simply give up. Plainly he had more stamina than she did.

  She met him at the door. “What are you doing here?”

  “Just give me five minutes. I promise you won’t be sorry.”

  The condo manager waved from the mailbox stanchion. Ginger smiled. She either let Marc in or became fodder for gossip. “All right. But just five minutes.”

  He came in and tried to hand her the roses. She refused to take them. “They’re your favorite,” he said.

  “Not anymore.”

  “Kind of petty, don’t you think?”

  “Get on with it, Marc. You don’t have much time.”

  “I’ve left Judy.”

  Shit. It was the last thing she wanted. “Why?”

  “You made me realize what a fool I’ve been. No matter how hard I tried, there was no way I could make everyone happy. I finally saw that I had to make a choice, and the choice I made was you.”

  “You forgot one thing. I didn’t choose you.”

  “But now that I’m free—”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “How can you say that? You love me. I love you.”

  Did she love him? Was what she’d felt really love, the same kind of love that had seen her parents through forty-five years of marriage? Or was Marc an addiction fed by her fear of growing old alone? “Whatever I felt for you, it’s over.”

  “Is it the money?”

  At first she didn’t understand. And then it all
made sense. He was trading Judy and his children for her inheritance. Somehow he’d discovered how much money Jessie had left her.

  “Because if it is,” he added, “I’m willing to sign a prenup. I know Jessie Reed left you a lot more money than you admitted. He had to. I don’t understand why you lied to me, but I know you must have had what you thought was a good reason. We can work this out, Ginger.”

  She stared at him, speechless. If there had been one small corner of her heart where she still harbored love for him, one part of her mind where she wondered if she’d made a mistake, one corner of pride that wanted to convince her she really wasn’t the world’s most poorly paid prostitute, it was gone. “Go back to your wife.”

  “I can’t. I told her about us. I wanted to show that I was ready to commit, and it was the only way I knew to convince you. I had no right to ask you to wait as long as you have. I’m ashamed to admit that I thought you’d always be here for me, that it didn’t matter how long it took me to come to my senses.” Again he tried to hand her the roses. “Give me a chance and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

  She folded her arms across her chest. She couldn’t stop thinking about Rachel and Jeff and how Rachel must have felt when she found out about Jeff’s affair. “Don’t you care that you broke Judy’s heart? What could she possibly have done to deserve what you’ve done to her—what I’ve done to her?”

  “You know that as well as I do. She’s a leech. She’s sucked me dry for years with her neediness. I can’t take it anymore. Not even for the kids. If it weren’t for you, I would have left a long time ago.”

  “Wait a minute.” In her mind’s eye she saw him with his arm around Judy, smiling, kissing her. “Are you admitting you went back to Judy because you knew you could have me on the side?”

  “You’re twisting my words.”

  “Then straighten them out.”

  “I went back because of the kids. You knew that. You even agreed they had to come first.”

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Why aren’t they first anymore?”

  “I lost you.”

  “So now I’m first?”

  “You always were.” He took her hand. “It took this to make me see it. I can’t face a future without you.”