Through Eyes of Love

by Pamela Browning

  "She's a looker, Cassie," said Kajurian admiringly. "You didn't tell me she was a looker." He couldn't seem to take his eyes off her eager young face.

  "I figured you'd find out for yourself," Cassie whispered back. Inwardly she was delighted. Kajurian didn't know the words "beautiful,"

  "exquisite," or even "gorgeous." To Kajurian, you were either a looker or not, and Cassie knew that he considered good looks of primary importance in promoting young hopefuls to stardom.

  The man who introduced Sharon wasted no time with preliminaries.

  "And now, ladies and gentleman, for your listening enjoyment—the first time on any stage, Rose o' Sharon."

  A spotlight switched on, illuminating Sharon's lovely features, and Cassie's throat tightened. Sharon was every bit as beautiful onstage as Cassie had known she would be.

  Sharon smiled easily and brushed her hair back over her shoulder in that languid way of hers. She bent her head over the dulcimer for a moment so that the lights played off her hair, and at last she lifted her head and began to sing.

  Kajurian seemed spellbound. Cassie glanced at John, and he lifted his eyebrows. She nodded in silent reply. They were both thinking that Kajurian would not be sitting as he was, a forgotten forkful of pie raised in midair, if he had not been hypnotized by Sharon's performance.

  And hypnotized Kajurian was. Not only was this girl a looker, but she could sing. Sharon Ott possessed a rare indescribable quality that any experienced agent in the business recognized when he saw it. The girl was a natural. Like Cassie had been. Only different. But definitely marketable.

  The dying chords of the first song faded away, and Cassie, joining the rest of the audience, applauded until the palms of her hands ached.

  "What do you think?" whispered Cassie to Kajurian, although she knew what the answer would be.

  "She's fantastic," said Kajurian. "Why didn't you tell me?"

  And then Sharon lit into "Darling Cora" so that the rhythm filled the air and captured the attention of the audience once more, and the applause afterward was even louder than before.

  "I had no idea that Sharon would be able to perform so well in front of an audience," marveled Cassie to John in a low tone.

  "She's wonderful," John agreed. "You deserve all the credit."

  "Not I," objected Cassie. "She's gone beyond anything I ever taught her." She turned her eyes to her pupil, who now sang a mountain ballad with feeling and strength.

  "I must talk with her," said Kajurian after the next number. "Would she come to California to work? Or has she got a thing about staying up on that mountain like you?"

  Cassie considered this. Sharon needed to get out of Scot's Cove if she were to break out of the Ott cycle of despair and poverty. But then, Sharon was also a simple mountain girl, and although she'd confided to Cassie that she longed to make something of herself, Sharon had strong ties to her younger brothers and sisters and an affection and sympathy for her mother. When it came right down to it, would Sharon leave Flat Top Mountain?

  "I honestly don't know," Cassie said.

  "After she leaves the stage, I'll go to her. You'll come with me, Cassie, won't you? She knows you. You can explain to her, maybe, what it means to sign with a top agent in the business." Unconsciously, Kajurian puffed up with pride. Cassie smiled. But of course, Kajurian was right. He was tops in the business.

  Sharon sang for another twenty minutes during which Kajurian sat on the edge of his chair, narrowed his eyes at her speculatively, and jittered his knees. The girl was a prize.

  Not a great singer—after all, her voice was untrained. Kajurian thought she'd need a few singing lessons; not many, because Kajurian wouldn't like the girl's naturalness to be subdued into something artificial. Maybe a few gigs at small clubs in L.A. first, then on to opening the show for larger acts on tour. Maybe some television. One of those big-buck contestant shows. She'd look great on TV.

  As her closing number Sharon chose Cassie's award-nominated theme song from Morgana's documentary, "Where the Heart Is." As she sang, Sharon focused her eyes on Cassie, her gratitude to her teacher and mentor shining on her face. Cassie sat spellbound. The phrasing, the technique—it was as Cassie imagined her song should be performed. Sharon's low-pitched voice imparted a resonance that Cassie had never achieved. Suddenly, although Cassie was entirely caught up in the warmth of Sharon's rendition, a chill vibrated through her bones. In her heart Cassie knew with certainty that Sharon's life had changed forever. Sharon was going to be a star.

  Her protegee slipped down from the stool and bowed as applause rippled anew from the audience. When it seemed as though the applause was not going to stop, Sharon bowed toward Cassie and swept a hand in her direction. Cassie felt all eyes upon her, and she heard the surprised voices whispering, "Cassandra Dare, Cassandra Dare."

  The applause began all over again, but now it was for her.

  Cassie blanched. She felt dizzy. All these people looking at her, every one of them puzzled and curious. They'd know about the airplane accident and how she'd disappeared from public life. She wanted to run. She could not face those people, could not be Cassandra Dare again. Could not.

  But John was smiling at her, squeezing her hand. His strength communicated to her.

  "They want you to acknowledge their applause," he urged.

  Gripping his hand, weak with the effort of having to respond to an audience again, Cassie stumbled to her feet. She bowed slightly, feeling awkward and embarrassed. John gripped her hand tightly, and he stood to hold her chair when she sat down again after Sharon had slipped from the stage out the side door.

  "Oh," Cassie said faintly, "that was so unexpected."

  "They love 'Where the Heart Is,'" said John. "They wanted to show you their appreciation. Look, they've all gone back to eating and drinking now."

  It was true. Except for an occasional nod in Cassie's direction, no one was paying attention to her. Cassie closed her eyes in relief. She was going to be left in peace. She didn't have to be Cassandra Dare again. Ever.

  ***

  "Go to California?" Sharon sounded incredulous.

  "Yes. If you sign with me, that's what you must do."

  "Cassie?"

  "It's true, Sharon. Kajurian wants to sign you. That means you'll get bookings on the Coast. It's a wonderful opportunity."

  "The Coast?"

  "The West Coast," Kajurian filled in.

  "I never dreamed..." began Sharon, but then she couldn't go on. In her wildest imaginings she had not foreseen being approached by an honest-to-goodness agent who would promise her a career in show business.

  Sharon lowered herself onto a straight chair in the closet that served as a dressing room at the Juniper Inn. "I've just performed in public for the first time," she said dazedly. "I was real excited to be getting a paycheck at last. Now you're offering me this big chance, and, well, I can't believe it." Her eyes sought Cassie's.

  Cassie sank to her knees beside Sharon and slid an arm around the girl's shoulders. This development must be a great shock. "Kajurian was my agent for years, and he helped me get my start. He can do the same for you if you're willing to work."

  "I love singing, you know that, Cassie. But leaving home..." Her voice drifted off. "That would throw more responsibility on Bonnie to help Ma with the kids." Sharon's eyes swam with troubled tears.

  Kajurian couldn't allow this wonderful find, this discovery of his, to turn him down. "Ms. Ott—"

  "Sharon," she corrected. No one had ever called her Ms. Ott before.

  "Sharon," he said patiently. "Talk to Cassie. She'll reassure you."

  "Do I have to decide right away?"

  "No, my dear. You think a little, talk a little. But I'm telling you, with your talent and your looks, you're making a mistake if you don't sign with Kajurian." He sympathized with her feelings; he'd been through this with other young kids. They all had the desire to succeed, but sometimes they didn't have the will.

  "Sharon, we're staying
for the second show," said Cassie, rising to her feet. "We'll talk about it later, just the two of us. Okay?"

  "Okay." Sharon looked up at Kajurian. "It's just that I'm so surprised," she said apologetically.

  "I know," he said, patting her on the shoulder in a fatherly manner. "Take your time. I'll be staying here for—" and he paused, because after the skunk spray, he'd wanted to leave immediately. Now that he was hot on the trail of someone he perceived to be the heir to the Cassandra Dare tradition, however, he'd changed his mind. "I'll be here until you decide," he amended.

  Cassie and Kajurian rejoined John at the table. John ordered drinks all around, as did people at other tables who had seen Sharon's first appearance. As Cassie expected, Sharon's second show was even better than her first. Cassie blew her a kiss as she walked offstage.

  "A star," mumbled Kajurian on their way to the parking lot afterward. "That girl could be famous."

  They heard a shout from somewhere behind them, and they turned to see Sharon running toward them, her face pale in the glare of the parking-lot lights. "Cassie," she called, and then stopped.

  "It's all right," said Cassie encouragingly.

  "I thought—I mean, if you think it's a good idea—that you and I could maybe ride home together?" It was clear to all of them that she wanted to talk privately with Cassie.

  "Why don't you?" urged John. "Kajurian and I will be fine on our own."

  "Okay," said Cassie, and the relief on Sharon's face was evident.

  "I'm driving your Camry," Sharon reminded her. "It's parked over this way."

  On the way back to Flat Top Mountain, Cassie drove because Sharon declared herself too excited to attempt it.

  "Oh, Cassie, tell me what to do! I'm so afraid!" Sharon sank deep into the corner of the front seat and nibbled on a thumbnail.

  Cassie focused her gaze on the tail lights of John's Explorer straight ahead.

  "I can't make your decision," she said gently. "I can only advise you about what it would be like if you signed with Kajurian."

  "I'd like that," Sharon said.

  And so Cassie told her about the excitement of auditions, the disappointment of learning that you hadn't landed the job, the anger when you thought no one appreciated your talent, the joy when someone finally did. Talking about it made the whole show biz scene come back to her in vivid detail. Those had been wonderful times. Until now, she'd so successfully buried her past that she'd forgotten how much fun she'd had.

  "If I don't go, I'll always wonder if I could have made it," Sharon said wistfully. "Did you feel that way when you started, Cassie?"

  "That was part of it. I'd watched how hard Mom worked to support us after my father ran out on her. I was destined for a paper mill job and was afraid to take a chance on any other. Mom told me, 'Cassie, get out of this town.' She wanted me to have choices."

  Cassie remembered with love the fierceness of her mother's ambition for her. Her mother had left her own secure home with Gran on Flat Top Mountain to marry neither wisely nor well. She died shortly after Cassie married Kevin, never to know how her own ambition had fired her daughter's success. Dear Mom. Without her mother's faith in her, Cassie would never have summoned the courage to leave the small town where she'd grown up.

  But Sharon's mother was not like Cassie's. Mrs. Ott had never been supportive. She'd never shown in any way that she hoped for a better life for any of her offspring. Sharon had no one to boost her up and over.

  No one, that is, except Cassie herself.

  Chapter 12

  They'd made love in John's bed only twice before, but that night, after taking Sharon home, Cassie drove to his cabin instead of her house where Kajurian occupied the guest room. She needed to be loved by John and, most of all, to talk with him. Which they did as they lay peacefully wrapped in each other's arms, the weak springs of the lumpy mattress having rolled them to the middle of the bed.

  "I told Sharon the basics about the kind of life she's considering," said Cassie in a troubled voice. "But there are other things she'll have to learn from experience."

  "Like what?" asked John, his voice disturbing the hair above her ear.

  "If Sharon signs with Kajurian, she'll be sucked into a perilous and demanding life."

  "Perilous? You make it sound like an undertow. I know all about those from my surfing days."

  "Show business can be like an undertow, John. You're sucked in and tossed out to sea, and sometimes there's no getting back. The life-style is, well, freewheeling, and all too often there are pressures to get involved in drugs. I was lucky that I had Kevin to protect me. He made sure that no one used me or set me up or got away with any of the other things that could have destroyed me. That's a lot for Sharon to deal with when she's fresh off this mountain. It worries me."

  "I have an idea that she's tougher than you think." He lifted Cassie's fingertips to his lips and kissed them gently one by one, determined to take her mind off these problems.

  "Sharon is so innocent. She couldn't know what she'd be getting into. Yet I don't see any way for her to achieve unless it's through her music and her voice. What if Sharon were to end up like all the rest of the Otts? What a waste that would be. For Bonnie, too. Those girls deserve better." Cassie fell silent.

  "When you consider the alternatives, signing with Kajurian seems like the best deal for Sharon." John nibbled gently at Cassie's earlobe, and his breath sent delightful tremors rippling through her. She closed her eyes and slid her leg over his.

  "It's a profession unforgiving of mistakes, a life that demands a tithe. So much of you given here, so much of you taken there... ah, that feels good."

  "So much of you here, so much of you there," John said, trailing his fingers across her breasts and down her stomach to the soft warm skin of her abdomen.

  "So much more of him," she said, touching him and giving herself over to the feelings because she knew he thought she was worrying too much. When he realized he had captured her complete attention, his lips against hers curved into a smile before becoming much, much more serious.

  Cassie left later, and John watched as her car disappeared down his driveway. He, more than anyone, knew what courage it had taken for Cassie to venture off the mountain for Sharon's opening. And she'd done it out of her love for Sharon. Cassie would go out of her way to do anything for anyone else.

  Eventually this caring quality of Cassie's, which made John admire her and despair of her at the same time, would be the very thing that saved her.

  It was, John saw now, the key to Cassie's own deliverance from herself. It was time to fit the key into the lock that had imprisoned Cassie for so long.

  * * *

  "You mean you've got more? More of these songs?" Kajurian stood in front of the old chifforobe clutching scribbled bits of paper.

  "Some," hedged Cassie.

  "Some? Many!" Kajurian scooped more papers from the drawer. "What do you say I take these and get them written out proper, get them published?"

  "Oh, but—" Cassie shot a doubtful look toward John.

  "They're wonderful songs, Cassie," John said. He'd seen them all by this time, and he understood enough about music to be able to piece them together in his head. The songs had been inspired by Cassie's love for him. That pure outpouring of love, expressed poignantly and yet with such grandeur, made them special.

  Cassie's eyes held John's for a long moment, exchanging a look of love and devotion.

  "All right," she said to Kajurian with a sigh. "Go ahead. Take them."

  Kajurian smiled his gold-toothed grin. "After 'Where the Heart Is,' you could write the alphabet on a piece of paper and people would be falling all over themselves to record it. You're still a hot property, Cassie."

  Cassie did not reply. She watched silently as Kajurian tucked her songs carefully into his briefcase.

  * * *

  "Mrs. Ott, I stopped by to answer any questions you might have about Sharon's signing with Mr. Kajurian."

  Sharon's m
other sat on the front porch of her house shelling peas into a colander. She'd barely looked up when Cassie got out of her car, and she seemed anything but welcoming. "Don't have no questions," she said, tossing a pod into a paper bag. She was a husk of a woman, hair lank and unstyled, worn out from a lifetime of hard work.

  Cassie shifted from one foot to the other. "Surely you'll want to know what kind of contract he's offering, the terms of it—"

  "Don't know nothing about contracts. I told Sharon that."

  "She asked me to speak to you. I'd like to put your fears to rest. Surely you're concerned?"

  The woman eyed Cassie. Her expression was distrustful. "I've got a pack of young'uns here, and if Sharon goes off, Bonnie will have to do Sharon's work. Sharon feeds the chickens. She gives the littlest ones baths, and who's going to keep an eye on Riley when he's big enough to walk? Not Bonnie. She's always got her nose stuck in a book."

  "If you'd like to meet Mr. Kajurian, he'll be happy to speak with you. You won't have to pay Sharon's way to California. I'll take care of that expense."

  "Sharon ain't got enough money to get to California, for sure. But I don't need to meet your Mr. Kaj—Kaj—"

  "Kajurian."

  "Sharon's old enough to do what she pleases whether I like it or not. Can't keep her. Can't hold her down. In the end, it's one less mouth to feed. More for the rest of us." Mrs. Ott stood, the colander in her hands. "I'll be getting back to work."

  Cassie called after her. "Mr. Kajurian wants you to know that Sharon is a talented girl and that she has a wonderful future ahead of her."

  Sharon's mother snorted. "That's good. Maybe she'll send money home. Tell her that, will you? To send money to her mother." She went in the house and slammed the door. The baby started crying, and a couple of chickens flapped out from under the porch.

  Sighing, Cassie picked her way through the dusty weeds back to her car. She should have known it was useless to come here, but she'd had to try. For Sharon's sake.

  * * *

  Kajurian confronted Cassie in her vegetable garden early the next morning. "Cassie. Make sense. This is an invitation to sing at the American Association of Film Arts Awards Spectacular. You'll be carried live on millions of television screens all over the world, and all they want you to do is sing 'Where the Heart Is.' What a way to start a comeback! What a chance! A few years ago, you'd have died for a chance like that! What's with you, Cassie?"