Nappily Faithful

by Trisha R. Thomas

  “Ma’am, if you won’t calm down, we’re going to have to put you in the backseat of the squad car. Let me tell you, it’s not a nice place to be.” He scrunched his nose to give me a clue of the stench real felons left behind. “Now let’s start from the beginning.”

  Jake came outside holding Mya, who was heaving with tears. She reached out for me and I took ahold of her. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m sorry Mommy acted like that.” I put her down and unleashed the rubber clasp holding her hair. All I wanted to do was get home and scrub the whole jar of grease out of my baby’s head.

  “This is what I’m talking about.” I held up my hands, glistening in the hot sun. “She did this.” I pointed to Trevelle, who was holding court with the other officer.

  “What is it I’m looking at? I don’t see any bruises.”

  I sighed heavily. “That woman is married to her fa ….” Somehow the word father couldn’t leave my lips. “They had visitation. The first thing she does is slather all this greasy goo on my baby’s hair, without my permission. She pulled it back so tight she’s got bumps all along the edges. See?”

  The officer’s face tightened in confusion. “Okaaay? Sounds like there’s another issue at work here because I’m not seeing the problem. Let me ask a simple question: Did she provoke you in the form of bodily attack, did she try to harm you or your child?”

  Jake intervened. “Let me explain,” he said, knowing the officer would never understand. It was a hair thing, more specifically a woman-against-woman-hair thing, a timeless war that no one would ever understand. “They had a court-ordered visitation for the first time,” Jake said plainly. “We just happened to bump into them here. Already everybody’s nerves are on edge, then my wife sees they’ve completely given her some kiddie makeover, new clothes, changed her hair, like she wasn’t good enough the way they found her.”

  The officer nodded. “Got it.”

  I was busy pulling the dress over Mya’s head. I gathered the ice-cream covered fabric in a ball. Jake saw what was next but couldn’t catch me fast enough. I hurled it in Trevelle’s direction, catching her in the face.

  “That’s it,” she sputtered. “If you don’t put her in handcuffs right now, I will have your badges.”

  The officer took me by the arm. “Okay. I can see this isn’t going to end nicely.”

  “Sir,” Jake said calmly, though I could see desperation in his eyes, “please, this is a domestic situation. Nobody’s life is being threatened here.”

  Trevelle yelled out, “He’d know a thing or two about that, check his record why don’t you? This man was arrested for murder not too long ago. Murder,” she enunciated. “He’s a known criminal.”

  The earth dropped from underneath my feet. We were no longer kicking sand in a playground. She’d crossed the line and entered into the real battlefield. This time it was Jake moving in Airic and Trevelle’s direction. I caught Jake’s arm as he started toward them. “Jake, no. Let’s go.” I took his hand and pulled in the opposite direction. Mya reached out and took his other hand, pulling, too.

  “C’mon, Daddeee,” Mya pleaded, sounding more mature than the whole lot of us put together.

  “So will I be on your hit list next?” Trevelle snarled. “Maybe Airic? This is just one more example of your degradation. Both of you, unfit. Attacking me like an animal,” she continued even though Airic was doing his best to quiet her. She was on a roll. “God is watching. He is the last and final judge.”

  The crowd seemed to have grown. The officer was quick behind us. “Sir, there are some more questions I have for you two.”

  Jake turned around as if he’d had enough. “Look, no harm no foul, you have charges you want to bring against us? If not, me, my wife, and daughter will be on our way.”

  “You’re going to have to sit still while I sort this thing out.” The officer’s big hands rested on his belt. Obviously the other officer was on the horn checking to see if Jake was a wanted man in any of the fifty states.

  If I could push rewind and take it all back I would. I was responsible for what was about to happen. Me. I put myself between the officer and Jake. “Really, it’s just a misunderstanding. I shouldn’t have let her upset me like that. I’m willing to go with you, I’ll go to the police station, whatever you want.”

  The other officer came from behind and tapped his partner on the shoulder. “Joe, we don’t really have anything here,” he said to my relief. “Everybody just go on your way. Found out they have a court day coming up. We’ll let Fulton County deal with this nonsense.” He nodded toward Jake. “Have a nice day.”

  Jake stared him down. “You, too, officer.”

  Later that evening Jake and I drove my mother to the airport. I could feel her wondering if she was doing the right thing by leaving. If not for the fact her ticket was nonrefundable and my father, Henry, hadn’t eaten a decent meal in the two weeks she’d been gone, she would’ve told us to turn the car around. I reached over the seat and grabbed her hand. “Don’t worry.”

  We pulled up to the curb at the Delta terminal. The Atlanta airport was a city in itself. The sheer size and mass was like a sci-fi thriller where there was no getting out once you were in. I knew when my mother hit those doors, we were on our own.

  “You two going to be all right?” she asked Jake, while kissing him gently on the cheek.

  “We’ll be fine, Miss Pauletta. I’m not going to let anything go wrong.” His voice dragged a bit, fighting off exhaustion. He offered a bear hug, the kind that promised indeed he would protect the mama bear and baby bear.

  “And you …. come here.” My mother bent over and waited for Mya to come into her arms. “You be a good girl,” she said, hugging and kissing her. “Grandma will see you soon, very soon.”

  Mya nodded up and down with her spastic new hairstyle of barrettes and ribbons on as many strands of hair as she could reach. She’d brandished her doll baby with a matching set of pink, yellow, and white clips. I could thank Trevelle Doval for Mya demanding to look like a Kizzy doll.

  “We’ll come visit as soon as this is all over,” I confirmed. I kissed my mom and held on for a minute too long.

  “You’re going to be fine,” my mother whispered near my ear. “Be strong for your family.”

  The ride home in silence seemed to last longer than a cross-country road trip. Brake lights trailed in front and on the sides of us, all the way up the freeway. If someone had told me traffic like this existed beyond California borders, I would’ve scoffed at the possibility. No one, no city, had traffic like California. You could leave your house at 2:00 A.M. and still be stuck in a bumper-to-bumper surge.

  “This is ridiculous,” I said. “It’s confirmed. Now I can add claustrophobia to my many new anxieties.” My elbow rested on the window that I thought about rolling down until remembering where there’s traffic, there’s exhaust. “It’s only a matter of time before this place is layered with smog. Why is it so crowded? And everyone has the nerve to talk about Los Angeles’s smog. I was at the grocery store and the cashier looked at my ID and then went into this whole thing about California smog. I asked her, Have you been there? She said no. I said, Well this place is next, I can guarantee you that. Yeah, we’ll see who has smog—”

  Jake interrupted, holding up an I surrender hand. “I get your point, okay?”

  “I didn’t realize I was annoying you. I was just making conversation that doesn’t revolve around our usual.”

  “Well, I’m tired. I’d rather just get home without making small talk.”

  “Nice,” I said. But I wasn’t about to let him piss me off with rudeness. I stayed quiet …. for a minute. More like thirty seconds. “Since when is having a conversation with your wife small talk?”

  “I don’t give a damn about the smog in L.A. or this fucking city!” his voice boomed.

  My first reaction, as always, was to turn around to see if Mya was here or in dreamland, where mommies and daddies didn’t curse each other out or thro
w random punches.

  Sleep. Good.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “What the hell do you think is wrong? You know what we’re already up against and then you’re in a public place swinging on Trevelle Doval like you don’t have no damn sense.” He drove with both hands in a death grip on the steering wheel.

  “I was defending—”

  “Defending what? We’re in the biggest fight of our lives and you’re giving them exactly what they want. Exactly what they need to finish the job.”

  I folded my arms over my chest to prevent the involuntary movement of my hand reaching out with a slap. “She had no right to touch my child. She’s not her mother, not her stepmother, she’s nothing. I don’t care if she owns the Taj Mahal and preaches from the mountaintop. She had no right.”

  “All I’m saying is we got enough against us already.”

  “And whose fault is that?” I said. Damn it.

  “What took you so long? I knew it was coming.” He leaned up to the steering wheel and rested his chin there for a brief second before getting back in the fight. “So all this is my fault?”

  “You started the blame game.”

  He pressed the brakes too hard, sending me jerking forward. “My fault for having a homicide charge? My fault you swallowed half a bottle of pills and ended up in a psychiatric ward?” He was now officially mad, where before he was only pissed. “Was it my fault you were still sexing old school after we were already together?” he said calmly. “My fault, huh, that you gotta carry another muthafucka’s baby for nine months when I was the one there for you from day one. Day one,” he repeated.

  Here is where the book gets closed. Here is where the chapter ends and the world cannot witness what real ugliness looks like. Those moments when you’re sure if someone else heard this conversation they would sit with their mouth hanging open wondering, How do you come back from this one, girl?

  Exactly …. no coming back.

  “What’re you doing?” he asked in disbelief when he followed me upstairs. I moved with unorthodox speed, throwing clothes into a bag, grabbing some toiletries. Then even faster to Mya’s room, grabbing a few of her favorite clothes, the kind that couldn’t be replaced easily. Her favorite yellow SpongeBob nightgown. Her Dora the Explorer slippers.

  “Move,” I said when he tried to block the doorway to her bedroom.

  “Calm down …. stop it. You run every time somebody yells fire. Stop and think for a minute. How’s it going to look if we’re splitting and breaking up at the drop of a hat?”

  “Move.” I shoved past him, hurting myself, butting against his solid arm and shoulder. I bolted down the stairs. Mya was still asleep where I’d left her on the couch. Jake had carried her in, but I would have to walk her out. “Mya, sweetie, wake up.”

  “Don’t do this,” Jake said.

  “It was already done when I carried some other man’s baby in my stomach for nine months …. right?”

  I walked Mya to the car. I threw my bags inside and backed the hell out. He followed, trailing in front of us to the end of the driveway. He rested his hands on his hips and shook his head. Mama bear was fleeing the scene with baby bear. Papa bear had the bed all to himself.

  25

  Sins Revisited

  “There was another call last night,” Delma whispered to Hudson. “They said the same thing, Someone’s got a secret.”

  They’d already gone down the long list, the obvious choices of ex-coworkers. Plaintiffs and defendants done wrong with an ax to grind. But there was one person Delma remembered better than the others. One who truly had the artillery to do damage, because he knew about Keisha and where she’d come from.

  Shep was a sweet, laid-back, and fine as hell courier who showed up every day at the downtown district attorney’s office. He delivered documents or picked them up at the same time, with the same sexy brown shorts tight against his brown muscular thighs, same buttoned-up shirt, with the top two open to reveal a slight patch of dark hair in the center of his wide chest.

  Delma played the hard-to-get role, offering up her delicacies with a smile and bat of the eyes, turning him down the four times in a row he’d asked her out. She was a lawyer after all and he a lowly courier. Finally she said yes with no other reason on her mind but getting some of his sweetness to satisfy a whole decade of celibacy. Anybody with good sense knows you can’t go that long without getting some and not expect to be struck with a stupid stick once you do. She was instantly dick-notized. The state of hypnotic glory of one man’s big long richness making her do things she was ashamed to say out loud. She couldn’t see straight once Shep got ahold of her.

  They’d become expert at tasty quickies in her office, where she’d exclaim loudly enough for everyone to hear that the box was too heavy to carry, so she needed his assistance. Inside with the door closed those big arms would swoop her up. He gave her all the assistance she needed. Their crazed heated bodies attracted each other like magnets.

  Shep was all man, 100 percent pure grade. None of that dipping in both sauces, that male and female mess that was going on these days. Delma knew it was she he wanted by the urgency and combustion of their lovemaking. Everything ran smoothly until he started having needs. First it was the car. He only needed to borrow it until he got his fixed. A week turned into three. Then he needed an $800 loan. It was back child support or jail. Couldn’t have that, dick-notizing sessions would be cut short. If only he hadn’t needed a place to stay temporarily, of course. He’d made up some lame story about the landlord exterminating his building for mice. She knew better. Didn’t stop her from giving it some grave thought and consideration. But the answer was still no. Keisha was always first in her life no matter how good the dick-notizing sessions were. No way could she have some man living in the same quarters as her young beautiful daughter. She’d seen it enough times in the courtroom, the mother’s boyfriend helping himself to the females in the house like a Sunday buffet after church. Why invite trouble?

  “I think we ought to cool out for a while,” she’d told him. “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not ready to keep going.” The spell was broken. She kissed him good-bye after paying for their dinner and refused to take his calls after that.

  He was bitter and downright aggressive, leaving notes on her car, messages on her phone, and waiting for her after work since she refused to come to the lobby for deliveries. “Delma, how you gon treat me like this? Did I do something to you? What’d I do?” He stood next to her, breathing erratically while she unlocked her car door.

  She gave it a great deal of thought to go back on her word. The sensation between her legs was ready to blow like a volcanic eruption every time she got within smelling distance of the man.

  “I need a break,” she told him. “I’m not concentrating at work. I have a big case these people heaped on me at the last minute and you know how it is. I can’t show any signs of being less than perfect, not in a law office full of white men.”

  Shep looked less broken, like maybe he believed her excuse. Some of it was true. She did have a huge case; a black female employee had filed sexual assault charges against her plant manager, who was also black. It drove Delma nuts how cases involving people of color always got thrown her way. She was under immense pressure, always being evaluated and constantly judged. It didn’t help when she started missing meetings from oversleeping, taking long lunch breaks, and falling asleep in depositions. Though being with Shep had actually alleviated some of the stress. Companionship had its benefits: laughter, good times, sex. Oh, the sex. She’d lost almost twenty pounds just keeping company with Shep. If only he hadn’t asked about staying with her.

  “The truth is, Shep, I wanted to break it off because I have Keisha at home. I know you’ve never met her, but she’s my life. I can’t have you asking to move in with me, I can’t take that kind of pressure.”

  “When did I ask to move in with you?”

  “Don’t play dumb. You asked
if you could temporarily stay with me …. anybody that can add two plus two knows where it’ll lead, one week, then three months, then a year. I’m nobody’s fool.”

  He licked his thick moist lips. “So it’s like that, huh?”

  “Like what?”

  “You think you’re better than me. Right, right. I got your number Miss Lawyer,” he spat.

  “That’s hardly the issue, Shep. I’m just trying to keep myself above water, I can’t keep taking care of your mess when I got my own.”

  “It’s always the issue. You sistas get a little education, nice paying gig in the big house, got your house, your car, then you don’t need a man. Man can’t do nothing for you.”

  “Since we’re on the subject, maybe you have a point. Maybe just once I’d like it if you paid for a meal, or brought me some flowers, candy, something. Maybe I find it offensive to be offering you loans and wondering if you didn’t call when you said you would ’cause your phone is turned off or some other sorry excuse. I’m taking care of my business. I can’t be taking care of yours, too, which includes you laying up in my house. That’s not going to happen. We’re through, okay? Enough said.” Delma attempted to get into her car and Shep slammed the door closed, nearly catching her elbow.

  “You ain’t gon never have nobody,” he hissed.

  Delma wiped the spray of moisture from her face. “I will have your black ass thrown in jail. Now you need to step back, right now.”

  “You think somebody want to be with you for free. Nah, baby, no such thing as free. You ain’t gon have this fancy job forever. You ain’t gon have your daughter forever. You think I don’t know. I saw your diary. I read every page. You gon need somebody, but you rather be a lonely bitter bitch.” He turned and began to saunter away with his hands in his pockets, as if he hadn’t just ripped Delma’s heart out and stomped all over it.

  “I rather be alone than have some no-good Negro sleeping in my bed,” she yelled after him. The streetlight bounced off his clean-shaven head. She got in the car and gave thought to hitting him. The rubber bumper wouldn’t kill him, just maim him a little. Bastard. The tears streamed down her cheeks while she sat for close to an hour trying to get herself together.