The Word Snoop

by Ursula Dubosarsky

  Poets are especially fond of onomatopoeia, where the sounds and the meanings of words go together. What do you think the writer Edgar Allan Poe, famous for his scary stories and poems, was talking about here?

  “How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,

  In the icy air of night!”

  (No, not daggers—think ding dong . . .)

  In The Giants and the Joneses by Julia Donaldson, the giants speak a language that the author made up herself called “Groilish,” with words like heehuckerly for “funny” and glishglursh for “splash.” And in Roald Dahl’s The BFG (yes, that’s an acronym), there are words like frobscottle and trogglehumpers. What do you think they could mean?

  You could make up some words like this. It could be giants talking, or it could just be based on something ordinary, like a ride on a tram or a train or a bus. To give you an idea, ask your grandparents or a VERY old teacher if they can sing you “The Trolley Song,” made famous by the singer Judy Garland. It’s got clangs and dings and zings and chugsand bumpsand buzzesas well.

  In the meantime, see if you can work out what the onomatopoeic words on the opposite page could be.

  Onomatopoeia

  1. A game you play with two bats and a lightweight ball across a table. (Don’t hit too hard!)

  2. The sound a snake makes. (Leave the room very quickly when you hear this sound.)

  3. A bird you might find in a wooden clock. (Not exactly alive.)

  4. When you talk in a very low voice. (As you always should. Ha ha! Or should I say hu hu?)

  Tongue Twisters

  Say the following sentence as fast as you can three times.

  Betty Botter bought a bit of bitter butter.

  Not bad. Now try:Bobby Blue blows blue bubbles.

  Or even just:Mixed biscuits, mixed biscuits.

  Did you notice what happens to the words? For most people, the words all start to tumble together and trip over each other. This is something called a tongue twister. Tongue twisters are fun sentences or phrases that are hard for your tongue to say, especially if you try to say them quickly.

  Your tongue is a very important part of your mouth for making sounds of words. Tongue twisters are tricky because they use words that repeat similar sounds. Look at all the b’s and it’s in Betty Botter bought a bit of bitter butter. And the i and s and x sounds in mixed bis cuits. When similar sounds come close together over and over again, our tongue and our brain get mixed up.

  In the olden days, tongue twisters were thought to be magical, like spells. Nowadays they are mainly just for fun. But they can be used for special reasons as well. Actors often warm up their voices with tongue twisters. And sometimes speech therapists will use tongue twisters to help someone who finds it hard to make particular sounds.

  Two very old and well-known tongue twisters you might have heard of in English are:Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

  and

  She sells seashells by the seashore.

  But all languages in the world have tongue twisters. Kelapa kepala,for example, is a tongue twister in Indonesian (it means something like “coconut head”). Maybe you know a tongue twister in another language?

  Some poets have written amazing tongue twisters into their works. The English poet Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote some totally tongue-twistery poems that are difficult to recite, but at the same time are very strange and beautiful. Try saying this out loud:I caught this morning morning’s minion,

  kingdom of daylight’s dauphin, dapple-dawn-

  drawn falcon

  Or this line by the poet Sylvia Plath:Black lake, black boat, two black, cut-paper people

  Those are more serious tongue twisters. But if you feel like something to make you laugh out loud, see if you can find a recording of “Tongue Twisters” sung by the comedian Danny Kaye. Try singing the two verses on the next page.

  Moses supposes his toeses are roses

  But Moses supposes erroneously

  For Moses he knowses his toeses aren’t roses

  As Moses supposes his toeses to be

  Theda thought Thora was thumping her thimble

  But Thomas thought Thora was thumping her drum

  Said Theda if Thora’s not thumping her thimble

  I think that she surely is thumping her thumb

  Danny Kaye had such a twisty tongue that in a song called “Tchaikovsky and other Russians” he managed to name 54 Russian composers with very difficult names in 38 seconds!

  The best fun, though, is making up your own tongue twisters. You could try using the sounds in your name. For example, if your name is Mike, you could say something like:Mike makes mad mud cakes.

  Or the Word Snoop could say:Why would the weird Word Snoop loop the hoop?

  Why indeed?

  Go on, get your tongues twisting!

  Portmanteau Words

  Mmm, I’m feeling hungry. Look at the time—it’s about half past ten in the morning. Too late for breakfast, too early for lunch . . . I know, I’ll have brunch!

  Brunch is a portmanteau word. That’s a word that is a blend or mixture of two different words—like breakfast and lunch. These sorts of words can be handy. For example, if you look outside the window and see all the smoke and fog mixed up together, what have you got? You guessed it—smog!

  The name portmanteau was given to these sorts of words by the writer Lewis Carroll over a hundred years ago in his wonderful book Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There. In those days portmanteau was a French word for a special kind of suitcase that had two separate compartments inside it. Alice asks one of the characters, Humpty Dumpty (yep, the famous egg himself), to explain what these lines from a crazy-sounding poem “The Jabberwocky” mean.

  ’Twas brillig and the slithy toves

  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

  All mimsy were the borogroves

  And the mome raths outgrabe.

  Humpty Dumpty begins his explanation: “Well, ‘slithy’ means ‘lithe and slimy.’ Lithe is the same as ‘active.’ You see it’s like a portmanteau—there are two meanings packed up into one word.” The word chortle was actually invented in this poem—a portmanteau word made up of chuckle and snort. (Now that really makes me snuckle!)

  A portmanteau word is different from a compound word—that’s when you have a word made up of two whole and different words put together, like loudmouth, football, or blackboard. With a portmanteau word, the two words blend into each other and usually each loses a bit of itself to fit into the other one. So while Labrador-poodle would be a compound word, Labradoodle is a portmanteau word. And have you ever heard of a tigon? (Or do I mean a liger?) If you are a Pokémon fan you will have noticed many of the monster species have portmanteau names, like Turtwig (turtle and twig) or Torchic (torch and chick). Do you know any others?

  Some portmanteau words have been around so long we forget that’s how they came about. Electrocute, for example, comes from electrify and execute; ginormous is a mix of gigantic and enormous. Then there are the more recently invented words like podcast, made up of iPod and broadcast, or things like docudrama and mockumentary. And what about romcom? Now that’s an abbreviated-rhyming-portmanteau-word! (Have you figured it out? That’s right, “romantic comedy.”)

  snurtle

  Why not make up your own portmanteau words? You can use any sorts of words. For instance, an animal that’s a mixture of a rhinoceros and a kangaroo could be a rhinaroo. Or what time of day do you think it would be if I said to you, “Good aftorning!” And how about a hamburger with lots of legs—a burgerpillar. (I think I might try drawing some of these . . .)

  On the next page are some portmanteau words children have made up—can you work out what they are?

  Pormanteau Words

  1. A troop of brave commangos ran up the hill.

  2. I want to go inside, but I’m just too nervited !

  3. I’m not asleep, I’m just threaming.

  4. Do you know how to play the pianpet?<
br />
  Well, Word Snoops, there’s not much of my secret message to go. But you’ll need to decipher this code if you want to read the full sentence. (Hint: Did you read the chapter on mondegreens?)

  FOOL LEAK WALLY FIE DAND

  Answers

  MONDEGREENS

  1. Oh, say can you see?

  2. Sleep in heavenly peace

  3. The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind

  4. Knock, knock, knocking on heaven’s door

  ONOMATOPOEIA

  1. Ping-Pong

  2. Hiss

  3. Cuckoo

  4. Murmur

  PORTMANTEAU WORDS

  1. Fighting mangos—a cross between “commando” and “mangos”

  2. When you feel “nervous” and “excited”

  3. A cross between “dreaming” and “thinking”

  4. An instrument that is half “piano,” half “trumpet”

  Dear Snoops,

  Words are sneaky. Sneaky, tricky, and hidden.

  (A bit like the Word Snoop.) You never quite

  know what they’re saying to you, or what they

  really mean, or what traps they’re hiding. You

  have to listen very carefully sometimes, and

  speak and write even more carefully.

  But don’t be afraid!

  If you fall down a hole into a terrible deep

  darkness, I’ll pull you out.

  Right after I pull myself out, actually . . .

  Read on,

  8.

  Hmm I wonder what you’re really Saying...

  Euphemisms

  Dear Aunt Martha,

  Thank you for the remarkable sweater. It will be just the right size in three years time. And what an unusual color—I’m sure that nobody else will ever put it in their bag at school and take it home by accident.

  As always, I appreciate you thinking of me in such an unexpected way.

  Your nephew,

  Alfred

  I wonder, do you think Alfred really liked the present that Aunt Martha sent him? Have a good look at what he’s written. What can you discover about the sweater? That it’s too big, that it’s a color nobody else would like . . . Why doesn’t he just say so? Well, it can be hard to say that sort of thing directly. At times like this, we often use something called euphemisms.

  A euphemism is the name given to the ways we find to say things that people don’t really want to hear or that make them feel uncomfortable. The word euphemism comes from the ancient Greek words eu,meaning “good,” and pheme,meaning “something spoken.”

  One of the earliest euphemisms was the name the Greeks gave to some of their goddesses called the Furies. The Furies were not very pleasant—they had hair made of snakes and drove people to their deaths. (Urgh!) Understandably, they made the Greeks feel a bit nervous, so instead of calling them “the Furies,” they called them by the euphemism “the Kindly Ones”! Maybe they thought they might forget to be furious and become kind instead. (It was worth a try . . .)

  Most euphemisms are used for things people find embarrassing to say out loud. For example, in restaurants the toilets are often called restrooms—and let’s face it, you’re not going to lie down and have a little sleep in there, are you? (Are you?)

  Funnily enough, the word toilet itself was originally a euphemism. It’s from a French word toile,a piece of cloth you used to put around your neck while washing, or on your dressing table. It started to be used as a euphemism for the . . . you know, the . . . Anyway, now we think even the word toilet is not quite polite!

  Once you start listening or looking, you’ll find euphemisms everywhere. It might not be a particular expression, but a way of saying something indirectly, like Alfred’s letter. It’s pretty handy when you have to break some bad news. Like:“Hey, have you ever thought of getting

  a pet mouse?”

  (Translation: Your guinea pig just escaped from

  its cage and ran off down the street.)

  Or: “Luckily, you won’t have to leave room

  for dessert tonight.”

  (Translation: I just finished all the chocolate

  mousse and now there’s none left.)

  Don’t Mention It

  Death, which nobody likes to think about, probably has the most euphemisms of any word. Some of them are: passed away, no longer with us, sleeping with the fishes, permanently out of print— on and on they go.

  The British comedy team Monty Python did a very funny sketch you may have seen about a man who brings a dead parrot back to the pet shop where he bought it. The man tries to tell the pet-shop owner that the parrot is dead, but the owner pretends not to get the message. The man uses every euphemism he can think of. He says the bird is:bereft of life

  gone to meet his maker

  fallen off the twig

  pushing up daisies

  passed on

  kicked the bucket

  joined the choir invisible, etc. etc.

  Finally he shouts out in exasperation: “This is an EX-PARROT !”

  Euphemisms for death are often used out of kindness, because the truth can be so painful. Read the scene on the next page from Charles Dickens’s wonderful novel David Copperfield. David is away at boarding school and is being told that his mother has died.

  “When you came away from home at the end of the vacation,” said Mrs. Creakle, after a pause, “were they all well?” After another pause, “Was your mama well?”

  I trembled without distinctly knowing why, and still looked at her earnestly, making no attempt to answer.

  “Because,” said she, “I grieve to tell you that I hear this morning that your mama is very ill.”

  A mist rose between Mrs. Creakle and me, and her figure seemed to move in it for an instant. Then I felt the burning tears run down my face, and it was steady again.

  “She is very dangerously ill,” she added.

  I knew all now.

  “She is dead.”

  There was no need to tell me so. I had already broken out into a desolate cry, and felt an orphan in the wide world.

  It’s definitely kinder at times to use euphemisms than to say something straight out. This is probably why teachers are such experts at euphemisms, especially in school reports. Parents who think their child is adorable might get upset if they hear that she mucks around a lot and never stops talking, so instead the teacher will write on her report card that she is always coming up with fascinating ideas to liven up the classroom and has truly astonishing vocal cords.

  Hmm, what do you think the teacher was trying to say on these pupils’ report cards?

  Gretchen has a remarkable feel for color.

  Octavio is very thorough and

  never rushes his tasks.

  Lupin always takes a great interest

  in the work of his classmates.

  (Translations: Gretchen regularly spills paint everywhere; Octavio is always the last to pack up at the end of the day; Lupin copies other people’s answers.)

  Doublespeak

  There’s another sort of euphemism sometimes known as doublespeak. It comes about not from kindness or embarrassment, but from the need to hide the truth, or make something that’s not very appealing sound better.

  This happens a lot when people are buying and selling. Look at advertisements in the newspaper or on the Internet. Pre-loved means anything secondhand. A historic property could mean a house that’s so old it’s falling to pieces. And let’s face it, nice leafy garden sounds better than “previous owner planted huge patch of lettuces.”

  Doublespeak is particularly useful when something has gone wrong and nobody wants to admit it. For example, if the school cafeteria was robbed overnight and all the food was stolen, the principal might stand up in assembly and say, “Unfortunately the cafeteria will not be opening today owing to an unexpected lack of supplies.” After all, nobody wants to admit to leaving the door to the cafeteria unlocked, do they?

  Charles Dickens
wrote about the dark side of this sort of euphemism in his novel Little Dorrit.In Little Dorrit,there’s a terrible place called the “Circumlocution Office,” where no one ever says what they really mean. Circumlocutio is Latin for “roundabout speech”—that is, saying something with so many words that it’s difficult to tell what’s actually being said. This kind of euphemism was made fun of in the 1980s British television series Yes Minister,which was about a government office where people used a lot of words to make sure nobody could understand them. For example, if a character said The matter is under consideration,what they really meant was “we’ve lost the file.” (If they said The matter is under active consideration, it meant they were desperately trying to find the file!)

  Have a look at the statements on the next page issued by a modern-day Circumlocution Office. Can you figure out what on earth they’re trying to tell you? (Hint: They are well-known proverbs.)

  Doublespeak

  1. A piece of round red or green tree fruit that is commonly used in pies served with ice cream if ingested once every twenty-four hours will ensure that the medical practitioner remains at a distance.

  2. Refrain from enumerating the offspring of your hens prior to their exit from the eggshell.

  Clichés

  I was scared to death. I knew my turn was coming. I sat pretending to be cool as a cucumber while I waited for the bell to ring. It seemed to take forever and I lost track of time. Then the next thing I knew it was lunchtime. Saved by the bell! I ran outside, free as a bird, without a care in the world . . .