Christmas at Candlebark Farm

by Michelle Douglas

  She heard the grin in his voice, but she didn’t turn to grin back because somewhere between here and the homestead she’d come to the conclusion it would be a whole lot easier to do the friends thing if she kept her eyes firmly averted from broad shoulders and rich brown eyes.

  Unfortunately she’d only gone on to notice how tanned and muscled his forearms were, how sure and strong his hands on the steering wheel. So she’d decided it might be best to avert her gaze from them too.

  She hadn’t worked out how to prevent his voice from doing that mush thing to her insides yet, though. She supposed she could always stop her ears with her fingers if she didn’t care what he thought of her.

  But she did care.

  Dangerous, a little voice whispered through her.

  She ignored it. She’d be leaving here in two days—how dangerous could one little picnic be? Besides, it had been interesting listening to him talk about the farm. He was working on improving the seventy hectares of pasture at the western end of the property. He was clearing weeds by hand because down the track he meant to go organic. It sounded exciting.

  The enthusiasm in his voice had caught at her. She admired his dedication. Not to mention the view spread out before her now. That stole her breath.

  ‘I… This is…’ She couldn’t find words to do it justice, so she pushed out of the car and made her way to the top of the bank to gaze down at the river below. Directly beneath her was a strip of sand that glittered gold, bound on either side by boulders and tall grass. The river flowed by smoothly, the water so clean and clear she could see the sand and pebbles in the shallows.

  ‘The Namoi River,’ Luke said from beside her.

  In the field on the other side of the river something green grew. Its particular deep hue in combination with the shade provided by the trees behind her and all that gold…

  ‘Canola,’ he said, gesturing to the field opposite.

  She spun to him. She couldn’t help it. ‘This place is gorgeous!’

  ‘It is today.’ He pushed the brim of his hat back. ‘You should see it when there’s been rain upriver in the ranges. The water roars through here like you wouldn’t believe.’

  He loved it then too, she could tell. She pointed to the strip of sand. ‘Can we have our picnic down there?’

  ‘That’s the plan. Head on down while I grab the food.’

  ‘Is it safe to paddle?’

  ‘As safe as houses,’ he promised, halfway back to the car already.

  The second she hit the sand, she kicked off her sandals and plunged her feet into the water. It was cool and pleasant against her over-heated flesh. She wished Luke had told her to bring a swimsuit.

  In the next instant she fanned her face. She and Luke with nothing on between them but thin Lycra and a pair of board shorts? Not a good idea.

  ‘It gets colder further out,’ Luke said, obviously misinterpreting her face fanning. He settled himself on a rock. He didn’t come any closer.

  Keira rolled up her shorts a couple of extra inches and waded out up to her knees. ‘It’s lovely,’ she called back.

  He nodded and stayed exactly where he was. So she waded back to shore and sat on the sand nearby. Not too close.

  She rested back on her hands and lifted her face to the sun. This was like being on holiday—heavenly—and she was determined to enjoy it while she could. ‘C’mon, Hillier, pass out the sandwiches. I’m starving, and I’m eating for two, you know.’

  With a low laugh, he tossed her a packet of sandwiches.

  They munched them in silence, staring out at the river and taking deep breaths of gold-green goodness. When she glanced up, she found him watching her. ‘What?’

  ‘I wanted to thank you for the advice you gave me about Jason the other night. It’s made a difference. An enormous difference.’

  ‘So working together yesterday was good?’

  He nodded. ‘I can’t believe how badly I let things slide with him.’

  She wanted to tell him he’d had a lot on his mind—being thrust into the role of single parent, trying to work the farm single-handedly, dealing with Tammy’s parents’ bitterness—but she sensed he wasn’t interested in making excuses.

  ‘Have the two of you talked about Tammy?’ She’d left him and Jason alone together on Tuesday night. She’d hoped that over those boxes they’d dragged in from the shed that Jason would find the courage to ask Luke the questions he needed to.

  ‘Yeah.’

  She grimaced for him. ‘Hard?’

  ‘Hell,’ he bit out. Then frowned. ‘It was hell at first,’ he amended. ‘It got easier as it went along.’

  Her stomach unclenched.

  ‘Tammy’s parents have been telling Jason that mine and Tammy’s separation is what caused her brain tumour.’

  Tammy had died of a brain tumour? Oh, poor Tammy! Keira abandoned her sandwich.

  ‘I told Jason that’s not the truth.’ His lips twisted. ‘I know because I asked her doctor at the time.’

  So he’d thought…

  Her heart burned. She curled her hands into the sand. She ached to go to him to put her arms around him and offer whatever comfort she could. She suspected, though, that he wouldn’t welcome her sympathy, so she stayed where she was.

  ‘Is that why you and Tammy moved back here from the city?’

  He shook his head. ‘We moved back here six months before she was diagnosed.’

  She cocked her head to one side. ‘You know, I can’t imagine you in the city.’

  One corner of his mouth kicked up, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. ‘It was Tammy’s dream to live there. We moved not long after we were married.’ He paused. ‘It wasn’t my cup of tea.’

  She digested that silently. From the expression on his face, he’d loathed it. ‘How long did you live there?’

  ‘Nearly eleven years.’

  She straightened and gaped at him. ‘You…you…lived in the city for nearly eleven years?’ To her he seemed as elemental as the gum trees up there on the bank. He seemed an extension of the landscape. Eleven years in the city. Wow! ‘What did you do there?’

  ‘I was apprenticed to a motor mechanic not long after we arrived. I like tinkering with engines, and it’s a handy trade to have when you’re living on the land.’

  So even in the city he’d always had one eye trained on Candlebark?

  His lips tightened. ‘Moving to the city seemed the least I could do in the circumstances. As you can imagine, our parents were less than pleased when they found out we were expecting a baby. It felt good to get away. And Tammy and me…we were best friends from our first day in kindergarten. I pulled her plait and made her cry. She kicked my shin and made me cry.’

  He looked suddenly young, as if this was one memory that couldn’t hurt him. Keira smiled. ‘Sounds like the basis of a lasting friendship to me.’

  One corner of his mouth lifted. ‘I can’t remember a time when she wasn’t a part of my life.’ The smile faded. ‘So I thought when we married… But I was wrong. We wanted different things from life.’

  She wanted to tell him that these things happened, that he and Tammy had been too young, but the sudden darkness in his eyes kept her quiet.

  ‘Dad was having some health issues, and we moved back so I could help him out for a bit. We rented a place in town. There was plenty of room at the homestead, but…’

  ‘You wanted your own place,’ she finished for him.

  ‘I couldn’t believe what bad shape Candlebark was in, and I knew Tammy would go stir crazy out here with me in the fields from sunrise to sunset. At least living in town she could visit her parents and friends.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘She went stir crazy anyway. She wanted to return to the city almost immediately. I didn’t. Our marriage only lasted another three months.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  He shrugged and stared down at his hands. ‘Not long after that she was diagnosed with the tumour. She refused to let me move back in to help her
.’

  She glanced at him, and her heart burner harder and fiercer. ‘Her parents blamed you for that?’ she whispered.

  ‘After she died they started all sorts of dreadful rumours. My parents couldn’t bear the speculation whenever they went into town—the snubs and the looks—so they moved to the coast.’

  And left Luke to cope on his own! No wonder he’d buried himself out here and thrown himself into farm work.

  She had to swallow down a sudden lump. ‘Have you told Jason what you just told me?’

  ‘A lot of it.’

  ‘And is he…?’ What was the word Jason used? ‘Sweet about it?’

  He surveyed her for a long moment. ‘It really matters to you, doesn’t it?’

  She shrugged a bit self-consciously. ‘I guess it does. Crazy, huh? I’ve only known you guys for all of five minutes.’

  He stared out at the river, lips pursed. ‘It doesn’t feel crazy,’ he admitted.

  ‘Must be all those irrational conversations we’ve been holding in the wee small hours,’ she teased.

  ‘That must be it.’

  He grinned, and Keira suddenly remembered that the sun was shining, it was nearly Christmas, and she was having a baby. And, from the look in Luke’s eyes, the future looked bright for more than just her.

  ‘Yeah, Jason and I are good. That’s thanks in large part to you.’

  ‘I didn’t really do much.’

  ‘You opened my eyes. I will always be grateful for that.’

  She smiled at the emphasis. His approbation felt good—better than it had any right to—but she allowed herself the luxury of basking in it anyway. Because in two days she’d be leaving this place. In the long term she suspected this man could prove a challenge to all her carefully laid plans…not to mention her peace of mind. He could lay it all to waste. She also knew that two days was not enough time to create that kind of havoc inside her.

  The thought of leaving, though, darkened her day for a moment. She shrugged it off. She had a wonderful future to look forward to. That was what she had to focus on.

  ‘Have you sorted everything out with the house?’

  Another shaft of sadness pierced her. ‘I’ve signed the last of the paperwork and found myself another estate agent. My great-aunt’s house will officially go on the market next week.’

  ‘Congratulations.’

  ‘Thank you.’ She fought to find a smile. She should be smiling! She’d done what she’d come here to do. It was just…She didn’t know why, but it somehow seemed wrong to sell her great-aunt’s house.

  ‘You don’t seem all that happy about it.’

  She should have known he’d sense her disquiet. ‘I feel a bit guilty about selling it,’ she confessed. ‘Like I’m returning a gift someone has given me.’

  ‘You know…’ He pursed his lips. ‘Something struck me when we inspected it the other day. With just a little bit of work your aunt’s house would make the perfect home business. You could extend out the back and convert the front into that clinic of yours.’

  Keira’s mind instantly shot off in a million different directions. ‘Are you suggesting that I move here? That I set my clinic up in Gunnedah?’

  He shrugged, and sent her the kind of grin that had her pulse tripping over itself. ‘Why not?’

  ‘But…I don’t know anyone here.’

  ‘You know me and Jason. It wouldn’t take you long to make friends. Country towns have a community spirit I think you’d like. Believe me, you wouldn’t lack for eager babysitters.’ He stretched his legs out in front of him and gestured with one arm. ‘And look at all this. It’s a great place to grow up.’

  He loved his home. That much she could tell. When he’d outlined his plans for the farm on their drive down here she’d started to see the place through his eyes. It had given her a whole new appreciation for it. ‘But to move out here…’ Her heart raced.

  ‘Medical practitioners of all kinds are in demand in rural areas like this. It’s hard to lure people from the city. You wouldn’t have any trouble establishing yourself.’

  ‘I…’ She tried to shake herself out from under the spell he was weaving about her.

  He sent her another one of those grins. ‘It’s just a thought. But it’s worth thinking about, isn’t it?’

  ‘I…yes.’ She drew the word out slowly. ‘I guess it is.’

  She’d have to sit down with a pen and a pad later, and work out the pros and cons. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. She could always rent out her flat in the city. That would provide her with a steady source of income and—

  Later, she told herself firmly. This wasn’t the kind of decision she could make on the spur of the moment. It needed careful consideration.

  She glanced at Luke, and warmth curled in the pit of her stomach. She did her best to banish it. This wasn’t the kind of decision where she’d allow her feelings for a man to sway her—no matter how broad his shoulders or devastating his smile. This came down to a straight business decision and whether this kind of life would be better for her and her Munchkin.

  Still, it would be nice to have Luke as a friend.

  ‘If need be, would you rent your room to me for another week some time in January?’ Just in case this idea warranted further investigation.

  ‘Of course.’

  Excitement billowed through her—a sense of new possibilities opening up before her. She reached for a nectarine and bit into it. Juice promptly ran down her chin. She wiped it away with a laugh. ‘Stone fruit is one of my favourite things about this time of year.’

  ‘What are the others?’

  ‘Christmas carols.’ He rolled his eyes so she added, ‘Not the jingly-jangly ones—though I quite like them too. I’m talking about the slow ones. You know—“Silent Night”, “The First Noel”, “The Little Drummer Boy”… They’re beautiful songs, and they do what all good music should do.’

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘They make you feel…fuller.’

  He didn’t roll his eyes. He didn’t say anything.

  Keira bit into her nectarine again, tried to catch the juice that ran down her hand. She held the fruit away from her body. ‘I’m going to need a bath after I’ve finished this.’ Even so, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed a piece of fruit so much.

  She went to take another bite, but made the mistake of glancing up at Luke first. His eyes had darkened, and he stared at her mouth with such fascination it made things inside her heat up then melt down. She gulped and tried to remember the friends thing. And that this was a rational time of day. Dear Lord, what had they been talking about?

  Um… Uh… Christmas!

  ‘You should really do something special for Jason for Christmas, you know. All kids need Christmas—even teenagers.’ Instinct told her Luke needed it too. ‘There’s a magic to Christmas you can’t get at any other time of year.’ He didn’t reply, so she stared doggedly out at the water. From the corner of her eye she could discern his gaze, hot and fierce on her face. If he didn’t stop that soon she’d have to dive fully clothed into the river before she burned up.

  She recognised the precise moment his gaze shifted to her legs. It was as if he’d reached out and stroked her with one lean, tanned finger. A quiver ran through her. Her breathing sped up. So did his. Her nerves drew tauter, tighter, until she thought they’d catapult her into something she’d regret.

  It would be something Luke would definitely regret.

  ‘Stop looking at me like that!’

  She didn’t want to be anybody’s regret. Especially not at this time of the year. ’Tis the season and all that. She had a lot to be grateful for: that was what she wanted to focus her energies on. Not on a pair of firm lips and a strong, square jaw, or the way tawny eyes could darken to chocolate.

  Luke leapt to his feet with a cut off imprecation. ‘Why don’t you wash in the river? I’ll go grab a towel from the car.’

  He stomped up the bank in the direction of the
car. Keira fled to the river. Even if men weren’t off her agenda, Luke was the last man she’d ever get involved with. He didn’t want any more children, for a start.

  With hands that shook, she did her best to wash the sticky remains of nectarine from her fingers and face. Because she couldn’t stay in the river all day, and because she wanted to project an air of nonchalance for when Luke returned, she moved back to where they’d been sitting and propped herself against a rock. She started to unroll the legs of her shorts—

  And froze.

  A snake stared at her from the bottom of the track that Luke had just ascended. Its black eye—unlidded—didn’t reflect the light. It lifted its head, and its forked tongue tasted the air. Oh, help!

  Keira stayed frozen. She might be a city girl, but she knew a brown snake when she saw one.

  Brown snakes were bad.

  Adrenaline shot through her in icy waves. Could the snake sense it? The bad brown snake. No—no, some logical part of her brain tried to reason. Snakes weren’t bad. They were just one of Nature’s vast array of creatures.

  Yeah, and the venom from the bite of a brown snake could fell a grown man in—

  ‘Keira?’

  Luke’s low tones. She could sense him at the top of the track.

  ‘Keira, look at me.’

  No way was she taking her eyes off that snake. If it made so much as the smallest move towards her, she was out of here.

  ‘Keira, I can see the snake. Please…look at me.’

  Something in his voice snagged at her. Almost against her will she lifted her gaze. He was too far away for her to pinpoint the exact shade of brown of his eyes, but she couldn’t mistake the intensity in his face.

  ‘Keira, you’re doing great—you really are. I need you to keep doing more of the same.’

  He wanted her to stay here?

  ‘Any sudden movements will frighten it.’

  She gulped.

  ‘I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you, okay?’

  She swallowed. ‘Okay,’ she mouthed back, because her vocal cords refused to work. The constriction around her lungs eased a fraction.

  ‘You’re between the snake and the river. He wants to go down for a drink.’