by J. A. Huss
"Will they try and keep me? Lucan is very worried about that point. Unreasonably so. I mean, he gave me a gift that lets me summon him. And it wasn't because he thought I'd be in trouble, or in a bad fight or something like that. It was because he thought I'd stay with Subjack."
Gid shakes his head. "I don't think so, Junco. Tier threatened them pretty good. And if you have this power, to summon that Lucan guy, well, that should be enough to stop them if they do try."
I look down at my finger and almost touch it with my other hand. I pull it back as soon as I realize it might activate with the slightest touch. "It's in my finger, Gideon. The summons is in my finger. But it only works one time."
"You shouldn't tell me secrets like that, Junco."
"Why not?"
"You're too trusting, for all the shit you've been through, you are way too trusting. Sera was right. You want to believe so bad. But don't. Don't believe anyone."
I look away. "I can't live like that, Gideon. I can't."
"I know, it's hard. But you can. When people tell you stuff from now on, you look for proof first. Always get the proof, Snowbird."
The proof. My father's words are in my head. I reach into my pocket and pull out the small envelope he gave me before we left.
"What's that?"
"Proof." I fold open the envelope and pull out a datacard. It's not something I've ever seen before so I hold it up to Gideon. "You know what this is?"
He squints at it for a moment, then puts out his hand. I drop the little card and watch as he takes out his com and loads it in, then waits a few seconds and hands it back. "Just push the green button."
I push it and my father's face comes across the screen. He's standing in our house courtyard and the sound of the songbirds in the trees behind him makes my stomach twist in pain.
"I have to leave, Junco. I can't say any more and I can't even leave this behind for you. But know that I love you. Hopefully I'll have the chance to give this to you in the future and you'll understand. And never forget that you'll always have a home here." He looks ages younger than he did the last time I saw him. Ages, even though it can't possibly be more than four years since he made this video. The feed ends and then there is nothing but black.
I hand the com back to Gid, not even bothering to take out the datacard. Who cares who sees it now. Everyone knows my dad lives as Subjack. This proof is only meaningful to one person besides himself. And that's me.
"What's that mean, Junco? Never forget that you'll always have a home here."
I sigh. "It's a code we had."
"Obviously. For what?"
I sit there for a few moments, thinking about what our code means. But there's nothing I can do right now. And if I don't get out of this stupid mission alive, then I'll never be able to do anything about it.
I change the subject, heeding Gideon's caution from earlier. "So, where's your proof, Gideon?"
He smiles, grins actually, and unzips a pocket on his sleeve and removes a piece of paper. "I thought you'd never ask."
He hands it over and I take it, then turn it around in my hand to make right side up. It's an honest-to-God paper picture of us. We are not kids. I am a teen and he's already a man. We have on summer clothes – shorts and tank for me – and he's shirtless and has his arm casually draped across my shoulder. We are both smiling. "When?" I breathe.
"Right before that last memory wipe. It was the last time I saw you. Until that day outside Selia's place."
I look at our closeness carefully. "Did I love you?"
He smiles. "Did you?"
"I might've."
He laughs but that seems to be the signal that this conversation is over.
I take it all in, then squirm around, trying to get out of the way of a rock that has found its way under my hip. The annoying little bump doesn't move so I sit up and reach around to fling it away. I find something small and smooth instead of a rock and I pull it up to my face to see it. Jasus. It's like every cryptic message passed to me in the last decade is surfacing right now.
"What's that?" Gideon is craning his neck to see what I've got.
"It's the little compass Tier gave me back on Amelia. Must have fallen out of my pocket."
I straighten up and feel for the latch, then open it.
It glows in the night vision and the little needle wobbles for a few seconds before settling.
"Don't you have a compass in your helmet?"
I look up. "It's not for that."
"What's it for then?"
I stare at the needle for a few seconds. "It points to my true north, when I feel lost here on Earth."
"So where's it pointing?"
"It's pointing to me." I smile and lie back down, still looking at it in my hand.
Gid sits in silence for a few seconds, maybe waiting to see if I elaborate. But I don't. "OK, well, go to sleep now. We have to get going and you can't fight when you're tired."
That's two, I tell myself. Two good things about my past that I have to cling to. My real Aren and now Gideon. And maybe my father. Maybe.
I don't think I'll ever get to sleep with this new information to mull over, but I'm wrong. My eyes droop and the darkness overtakes me easily.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I wake up in my camp room. It's hot.
But what else is new. It's always hot at the Stag camp in the summer. My eyes don't really want to cooperate this morning but I force them. They stick for a fraction, then reluctantly open as the crust breaks free.
Crying dust, that's what Gid calls it.
I rub it off and sniff the air for signs of breakfast.
Nothing.
That means it's still early.
I swing my legs out of bed and pad over to the calendar I keep on the back of the door. I know it's Friday, but checking the calendar is a habit that cannot be broken.
I have a fleeting moment of panic as I imagine it's Saturday instead.
My heart pounds and I have to close my eyes and concentrate for several seconds to prevent my alarm from declaring the extra adrenaline in my system.
It's not Saturday, Junco. Stop.
I know. It's not Saturday. I open my eyes and find the date. June 7, 2143.
Friday.
Not Saturday.
I feel the breath rush out of me in relief and then check the clock on the wall. 5:45 AM. I grasp the doorknob and wait for the biometrics to release the lock. I heave on the heavy door a little to make it open, then tip-toe across the hallway to Gid's room. I don't knock because I don't have to. My palm only works two things in the camp. My door and his.
I push the door open but he's not there and his bed has not been slept in.
I huff out a little air and go back the way I came to get dressed. The red shorts are old and comfortable and the t-shirt has faded strawberries on it. I slip my feet into some pink flip-flops and make my way to the kitchen.
The cooks are already working, preparing batter for something I want, but will not be allowed to eat. I make a face at them as I pass by but they ignore me.
Outside it is not only hot, but humid as well. The leftover moisture from a nighttime rain sticks to my skin immediately. I stand in the doorway listening to the sounds of men as I let my eyes adjust to the brightness of early morning on the scrub.
I hear the sharp crack of gunfire and turn to see who's shooting at this hour. I squint into the light, but I can't see that far away. I listen to the sound for a minute.
TZi.357.
Gid shoots one of those, but I'm still too small. The recoil throws my hand back every time.
Once the recoil made me hit myself in the head.
James took it away after that.
I walk over to the range and find him, shooting fast in a way that would get you kicked out of most ranges.
But not here.
That's just how you do it at the camp.
I wait until he empties his magazine, then clear my throat in a exaggerated manner.
/> He doesn't even turn, just snaps in the next magazine and starts popping them off again.
I look over to James, our rangemaster, and wave and then point to myself.
He nods, so I open the little gate and walk up behind Gideon as he snaps off his last round.
"I'm busy, Junco." He doesn't look up, only grabs a box of ammo and starts reloading the four empty mags lying on the counter he is using to prop himself up.
"It's Friday."
"I know what day it is."
"Well, we don't normally shoot on Friday, Gideon. But if you want to–" I let the words drop off and walk over to my cubby against the far wall and grab my .380, a box of ammo, and some mags.
He stops and looks back at me as I clutch my supplies against my strawberry t-shirt and make my way back towards the tables. "You can't shoot with me anymore, Junco. In fact, we can't spend any more Fridays together."
I dump my stuff on the top of the counter next to his and scrunch up my face. "Why not?"
He starts shooting again so I wait until he's done. "Why not, Gid?"
I watch as he swallows and I get that sinking feeling in my stomach, like I'm about to be punished. "Why not, Gideon?"
When he turns his face is not only sad, it's angry too. "I have to leave, I'm going away for a long time, Juncs. I can't help it, they're making me go. And I have to take a test on Monday, so I need to practice."
He shrugs and takes a deep breath, then goes back to changing out the expired magazine and snapping in the full one.
My face is getting hot and my throat is closing up on me a little so I stop and take a few deep breaths to keep the alarm from going off. He stops shooting for a minute as he senses my struggle, then I feel a wave of pride from him as I get it all in check.
He smiles when I look back up to him. "You don't need me anymore, Junco."
All the effort I just used to keep it under wraps is gone now and the tears spill out. "I do, Gideon," I whisper. "You can't leave, not yet. Please."
He puts his weapon down and walks over to me, then grasps my face in his palms and tilts my head up. "I have no say, Junco. You know that. I have no say at all. They tell me I'm leaving on Monday and I won't be back for a while." He lets out a long breath of air. "A long while. Years."
"But you just got back a few weeks ago. It's not fair. You're supposed to be here all the time." I look up at him and he winces at my crying.
"You really don't need me, ya know. You really don't, Junco. You're almost ten now and you've gotten a lot better at controlling things."
"It's not fair."
He pulls me over to the bench near our cubbies and we sit. "What's not fair?"
I sniff and make the tears stop as I look down at my hands fumbling around in my lap. "What's the point of being good if they take away the good stuff? That's punishment. If I'm going to be punished even though I'm good, then I'm gonna be bad instead."
He tilts my chin up so I have to look him in the face. "Being bad gets you nowhere around here, you know this, Junco. One day we'll be bad, but that day isn't today. Understand?"
I jut out my chin and look away. "Yes. I understand. But I'm not listening to you. I'm gonna be bad when you leave and you won't be here to stop me."
"They'll stop you, Junco. And it won't be pleasant."
I look over to James across the range and he's watching me as Gideon talks. He smiles and shakes his head at me. A warning.
"Then you have to spend today with me." I look up at him and grin. "If you spend today with me, then I'll be good."
"You're such a little shit, ya know that?"
"You're a shit. You're the one who's leaving."
He laughs. "Junco, you leave me every fall and don't come back for months. How do you think I feel when you go home?"
"Do you miss me?"
"Of course I miss you! You're my partner in crime, right?"
My laugh comes out unexpectedly. "Yes. Partners in crime, that's us. One day we will pull big jobs and get rich, Gideon. Won't we?"
He rumples my hair and chuckles. "Yes, you can bet on it, Junco. One day we'll be unstoppable." Then his face gets serious again. "But I can't spend the whole day with you. I have to go out on the scrub with Matthew."
I turn away as the funny feeling comes back to my stomach. "No."
"I have to. But I'll be back before dinner, he said. So I'll spend the whole evening with you, OK?"
My eyes track back over to James. He's busy stacking boxes of ammo and so I look back at Gideon and whisper. "I hate Matthew. I want to shoot him."
Gideon doesn't smile, just bends down into my ear and whispers back. "I know, Snowbird. One day we will, but not today. Understand?"
"Yes."
He puts his arm around me. "You'll be fine, right? You've got it all under control now? You haven't had a hard day since last summer. You're ready for new things?"
I shake my head and he pulls me closer. "One time I was being chased in the scrub by a prairie lion and I tripped and fell and it almost took my leg off." He squeezes me. "But I remembered I had my knife and I killed it before it could do any more damage."
I pick up the game where he left off. "One time I was lost in the tunnels and it was very dark. I cried for a long time and sat down, ready to give up. But then I remembered that I memorized the map like you told me to. I am never lost as long as I do what you say."
I squeeze him this time.
"One time I was in the city and this guy attacked me. He had a knife, not me. But I remembered that I knew how to defend myself and chopped him in the throat. He fell off me and I walked away like nothing happened."
He squeezes me again.
"One time I was with Matthew and he hit me in the mouth. I cried because he's so big and he scares me. But then I remembered that we will kill him someday." I look up into Gideon's blue eyes. "I can't wait for that day."
Gid leans down to whisper in my ear once more. "And we will get him, Junco. All of them."
"But not today."
He shakes his head. "Not today, Snowbird."
"Today we behave and there will be a better day to get them back."
"Yes."
I look across the range and James is eyeing us suspiciously. "What will they do to you, Gideon?"
"Change me. They're gonna change me."
"Will you be one of them when you come back?"
He pulls me close and hugs me hard. "Never, Junco. I'll never be one of them."
I look up at him, the tears leaking out before I can stop them. "OK. I'll be good. I know you'll be back and you'll take care of me."
He smiles and nods his head. "I promise. I will. It might take a while, but I'll come back. And if they take you away, I'll find you. Never doubt me, Junco. And I'll never doubt you, either."
I swallow down the lump in my throat. "I know. We'll always be partners. And one day we'll kick all their asses. So hard, right?"
He laughs now and I look up and see James relax as the tension eases out of our talk.
"So hard. Yes, they will get what they deserve and they'll die knowing they gave us all the skills it took to bring them down, right, Snowbird?"
"Yes. I can be patient, can you?"
He laughs again. "I can, Junco. I can be very patient. Patience is your friend. Never act in haste if you can help it."
"I won't. I'll be a master of waiting. I'll be still and quiet and I'll lie in the grass and wait, just like the prairie lion."
"You are the lion."
"And you are the wolf."
"And together we are the two most dangerous motherfucking apexers on the prairie."
"And they will regret it." I sigh with relief. Gideon always knows just what to say.
He ruffles my hair and pushes me away. "Go eat breakfast, Juncs. I'll see you tonight, OK?"
I nod. "OK. Love you."
"Ditto, Snowbird."
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The dream fades and I can hear them for whole minutes, talking out in th
e tunnel, before I pull myself back to reality. My eyes are still refusing to open when Sera slides up next to me and whispers into my ear.
"You awake, Junco?"
"I'm getting there," I croak.
She pushes a ration packet in front of me. "Eat again, so we don't have to stop." And then her firm grip has me and I'm sitting upright, my eyes still refusing to cooperate as I finger the packet and activate the heat tab. I wait for it to warm my palm and try not to fall back asleep. It burns me back from the twilight and I drop it on the floor.
Sera releases the tab and pushes it back in my hand so I can suck it down. And I do, not even caring that the bitch just fed me straight mapolina, she didn't even bother to mix the thickening packet of seasoning into it. I stuff the empty packet in my thigh pocket and take a full water packet from Sera. I suck that until the pouch is completely deflated as well.
She pulls me to my feet and shakes me a little. "Wake up, Junco. We have to get going."
I open my eyes. "Yeah, all right. I'm awake."
She pushes my helmet into my hands and it's only then that I realize the little compass is still clutched between my three leftover fingers. I pocket it and snap the helmet on, opening up the visor so I don't puke out all my newly acquired calories.
Gideon and Moju are talking quietly down the passageway when I walk out. "I'm ready, let's go before I need another nap, seriously."
We hoof it up the terraces and I feel a hundred percent better than before. I guess a couple thousand calories will do that for anyone. We cut the coms and only use the vision screens as we get closer in. Sera relays messages to Gideon and he gives them to Moju on their internal screens. Thirty minutes later the tunnel abruptly stops at a concrete wall.
Now what?
Gideon points up. Tell them to climb up and meet us over here. I relay the message over to Isten and we wait for what seems like forever as the team crawls across the expansive tunnel. They are good and quiet about it too, because I can barely make out their progress before they're there in the passage with us.
Isten drops down first and takes off his helmet as he walks over to me. He snaps mine off too. "You OK?"
I nod. "Yeah. I'm fine, Is. Thanks for asking."
