Under Her Wing

by Ronica Black

  Jayden looked away. Maria had never been wrong. It unnerved her sometimes being friends with someone who could read her so easily. Maria was gifted in ways she didn’t quite understand. She was an empath and had the ability to feel and sense other people’s feelings.

  “She must be very special.” Maria touched her hand.

  Jayden’s heart pounded and her throat felt like it was going to seize up. “I gotta go.” She fished in the cooler for another beer.

  Maria placed her hand on her shoulder. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

  Jayden stood very still. Then she nodded and walked away.

  She breathed deeply, pushing the words away. She wasn’t about to let the words sink further in. She wasn’t in love. How ridiculous. She just had an interest. And even the interest was ridiculous. It could go nowhere. It would go nowhere.

  She needed to let it go.

  She pushed past the palms and found Mel and Carly locked in an embrace, slow dancing to Phil Collins. A chimenea burned in the center of several lawn chairs. Jayden took a seat and finished her first beer. She pretended she didn’t see her hand tremble.

  “We’re going to the bathroom,” Mel announced. “Want anything?”

  Jayden shook her head and eased back in the chair. She opened her second beer and took hearty sips. She stared at the scattering of a few distant stars. She needed to be alone. She needed a woman. She needed something. Anything. She just knew she had to stop Maria’s words.

  She ignored the rustling when she heard it, assuming it was Mel or Carly. But to her surprise, a woman walked through wearing a skintight little red dress. Her hair was thick and dark, her skin tanned and shimmering.

  Jayden stood. It was Nora.

  “Nice place you got here,” she said, walking up to give her a lingering kiss on the cheek.

  Jayden closed her eyes and inhaled her scent. It was Colors, a scent she hadn’t smelled in a very long time.

  “You’re trembling,” she said into her ear. “Is that because of me?”

  Jayden swallowed the lump in her throat.

  What perfume did Kassandra wear? She always smelled of lavender; even her home had smelled that way. Jayden loved it.

  She gripped her beer and pushed the thought away.

  “Mmm,” she let out, too confused to speak.

  Nora held her face with both warm hands and stared into her. Then she smiled coyly and leaned in for a soft, wet kiss.

  Jayden froze, surprised. She thought of Kassandra and Kassandra’s lips. She dropped her beer and wrapped her arms around her, holding her close. She kissed her back and let her mind go. It went straight for Kassandra and exploded with sensation. Jayden gripped her ass and backed her to the wall. She plunged her tongue in her mouth and then slowed, imagining she was with Kassandra. She kissed her passionately, long and lingering, deep and sensual. Nora clawed her back through her T-shirt and pulled her mouth away. Both of them were panting with desire.

  “You’re making me so wet.”

  Jayden went for her neck, nibbling and kissing. She lowered her hand and traced her fingers up her thigh. She found her warm, her panties moist. Nora groaned and told her yes. Begged with please.

  To Jayden, it was Kassandra calling to her, begging for her touch, for sweet release.

  Jayden met her mouth again and conquered her as she slipped her hand into her underwear.

  Nora let out a cry and clung to her as Jayden plunged inside her.

  They rocked there together to “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Jayden with her eyes clenched, dreaming of Kassandra. Fucking Kassandra, licking her neck, biting her just behind the ear.

  Nora moaned loud and then muffled as they collapsed for another kiss. When she came, she did so with vocal cries into the night. Jayden fucked her hard and strong, making sure she went to heaven and above. She let out a cry herself, knowing it wasn’t Kassandra and knowing it was cutting her deeply. When they stilled, she gently pulled away from her and pushed her way out of the palms.

  A small group was standing nearby, including Mel, who looked shocked and ashen. Some of the women clapped. Jayden felt tears sting her eyes. Mel mouthed “I’m sorry” and looked to her left.

  Jayden’s eyes fell upon a blonde in a denim miniskirt and light pink sweater. Despite her makeup, Jayden nearly jerked as she recognized Kassandra.

  “Kassandra?” What was she doing there? Jayden shook her head in disbelief.

  Kassandra looked shell-shocked and torn apart. She looked straight at Jayden and then at Nora, who came up from behind, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her neck.

  Jayden stepped away, stepped toward Kassandra, but Kassandra gave her the most pain-filled look she’d ever seen and then turned and ran through the crowd.

  Jayden went to go after her, but a woman she didn’t know stopped her, holding her by the arm.

  Jayden tried to jerk away, but the woman held fierce. “Let her go,” she said softly. “My wife went after her. She’ll be okay.”

  Jayden needed to see her, needed to explain. This couldn’t be happening.

  “I need to talk to her.”

  “I think right now it’s pretty safe to say you’re the last person she wants to talk to.”

  Jayden yanked her arm away and Mel came to stand by her side.

  “I’m asking you nicely to leave her alone,” the woman said.

  “Who are you?” Mel asked.

  “I’m Kassandra’s best friend.”

  “Yeah, well I’m her best friend,” Mel said, motioning to Jayden.

  “And who are you, exactly?” the woman asked.

  Jayden was still staring after Kassandra, hoping she’d see her reemerge from the crowd.

  “Jayden,” Jayden said softly.

  “Wait a minute, you’re the dog shelter woman, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I didn’t know she was here, Jay. I swear,” Mel said. “What the hell was she doing here anyway?”

  “She came with my wife and me. She’s our friend.”

  Mel squeezed Jayden’s hand, but Jayden pulled away. She didn’t want to be touched. She felt dirty.

  “Does she know it’s a lesbian party?” Mel asked, still sounding pissed. “Didn’t you warn her that women would be kissing and touching and whatever?”

  “My friend is not an idiot.”

  “Then why did she freak out?”

  The woman followed Jayden’s gaze. “That’s the big question, isn’t it?”

  Jayden walked into the house and wove between people. She headed out the front door just in time to see Kassandra’s car drive away. A woman stood on the sidewalk hugging herself. Jayden trotted down the steps and fished out her car keys.

  The woman spotted her. “What did you do to her?”

  Jayden stopped. “Are you talking to me?”

  The woman approached, her face sad and concerned. “What did you do to her? Have you been having an affair with her?”

  “No. I haven’t done anything.”

  “She’s never been with a woman, you know.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “Who are you?”

  Jayden grew angry. She just wanted to get to Kassandra.

  “Jayden. I already spoke to your wife.”

  “Well, Jayden, my friend is very upset.”

  “Yeah, well, so am I.” She stepped around her and walked quickly to her truck. She threw open the door and climbed inside. She stared at her cell phone, wanting to call Kassandra. But she didn’t know what she would say. What she should say. What exactly had she done wrong? And why had Kassandra looked so hurt? Had she been right from the start?

  Did she just totally fucking blow it?

  Jayden shut her door and cranked her engine. She drove away chasing Kassandra, having no idea where she went. But for now, anywhere sounded better than where she was.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Kassandra awoke to Lula standing on her chest, giving her kisses
on the mouth.

  “All right, all right.” She rubbed her head and Lula jumped down and barked with excitement. Kassandra slid her feet into her slippers and walked into the front room for the leash. It was seven o’clock and she was still half dead. Sleep hadn’t come easily the night before, and it pained her to remember why.

  “Come on,” she encouraged her with a high-pitched voice. Lula sat while Kassandra put on her leash. Kassandra turned off the door alert, unlocked it, and stepped outside. The morning was cool but not crisp, and she stood in the grass in her pajamas, too tired to care who saw. Lula did her business and they returned inside. Kassandra then went for the coffeemaker and settled down on the couch. Her cell phone sat on the coffee table. She’d purposely left it out of her room.

  She knew there were texts and messages. They’d been calling since she’d left the party. She just hadn’t felt like talking. She’d been so torn up and somehow devastated that she’d barely made it home in one piece. And she still didn’t know why she was so upset.

  Of course Jayden had someone. Of course she was dating and having sex. She was a healthy woman. Why wouldn’t she be?

  But yet, the sight of her with that woman had nearly killed her. And the noises they’d been making in the dark corner. It had ripped her open and left her guts all over that yard.

  She closed her eyes as the pain came again. Jayden was with someone. Taken. She wasn’t into her, despite what she’d said or done. Or maybe she was and she’d just wanted a fling.

  Either way brought pain. But she would be fine. She would get through it, because it only proved her reasons for not dating in the first place. It was easier to stay alone, to not deal with people and emotions and promises and lies and everything else.

  She felt stronger now. More in control. Jayden was out, gone from her mind. Her silly staring could stop, her silly fantasizing.

  She unplugged her phone and scrolled through the messages. Her friends were, of course, worried. A few other people she knew from the party had also texted her asking her if she was okay. She put the phone on speaker and listened to her three voice messages. Two were from Katelynn and Wendy, asking her to call them today, and one was just silence. She deleted the messages and checked her missed calls. Jayden Beaumont had called at 12:27 a.m.

  Kassandra touched her name. Jayden had called her soon after she’d left. What did it mean? She recalled Jayden’s face and remembered that it had looked pained as well. She looked to be upset before the shock of seeing her had appeared.

  Kassandra eyed her number. She was tempted to call.

  Lula jumped onto the couch and settled in her lap. She wouldn’t have Lula if it weren’t for Jayden.

  She groaned. “Oh God, why has this woman gotten to me?” She rose and went for coffee. She felt so stupid now after the whole thing. Someone says a few flattering words to her and she’s head over heels, only to be made a fool of. And off she’d run, like a crying schoolgirl upset over her first crush.

  She sipped her coffee and steeled herself. Despite her best efforts, she was still an emotional creature. She was still sensitive and easily hurt. She put up her walls, but she hadn’t stuck to them. How much longer would she let this go on? She eased back onto the couch and thought back to her father and all the times he’d broken promises. He’d eventually stopped with the promises and stopped with talking to her altogether. She’d spent time and money on therapy, knowing she still had issues with this, and with loving him despite his behavior. She’d done the same with her husband. Loved him despite the way he’d treated her. She’d just kept taking it, believing the lies and promises. Hoping he would change. But he never did, and neither did her father.

  What made her think that people could change now? That Jayden could somehow mean what she’d said that first day?

  She was a fool, once again.

  Lula settled back into her lap, and she scratched her and said with determination, “Not anymore. Not anymore.”

  Chapter Twenty-two

  “Boys, bring those boards over here,” Jayden said, straightening to wipe the light sweat from her brow. The boys were helping her repair the steps to her front porch. It wasn’t an urgent job, and truthfully, it had been done a few years ago along with the whole porch, but she couldn’t stand sun rot and she needed something to do with her hands.

  “You think she’s ever coming back?” Gus asked, nailing a board in place. Billy returned from the truck with a stack of boards. He knelt and let them fall to the ground.

  “Nah, man, she’s busy. She’s like a really good person. She’s got important things to do.”

  “Aren’t we important?”

  Jayden took a swig of lukewarm water. “Of course you’re important, and it has nothing to do with you.”

  “So why isn’t she here?”

  Jayden took a board and handed it to Gus, then helped him line it up. “It’s my fault she isn’t here. You guys didn’t do anything. She still cares about you.” She hated seeing them hurt and worry over the situation. She’d considered calling Kassandra again and again, but she really had no idea what to say.

  “What did you do, Beaumont?”

  Jayden handed Gus the nail gun. The boys loved using the nail gun. It was the main reason why they were so eager to help her with the steps.

  “It was a misunderstanding.”

  “What kind of misunderstanding?”

  “An adult misunderstanding.” She didn’t know how else to explain it, not even to herself.

  “Did you hurt her? Because that would piss me off.”

  Jayden looked him square in the eye. “I would never intentionally hurt her.”

  “So you unintentionally hurt her?” Billy asked, holding out his hand for the nail gun.

  Jayden considered her answer. Both boys were looking at her, and she never lied to them. Ever.

  “Yes, I think I did.”

  They looked at one another and continued nailing.

  “Did you apologize?” Billy asked, holding his hand out for another board. Jayden grabbed one and gave it to him.

  “I tried to.”

  “‘I’m sorry’ is always a good place to start,” Gus said. “Shit, Beaumont, even I know that.”

  “Yeah,” Billy said. “You should call her. Like now.”

  “I’ll handle it, guys, don’t worry.” But would she? Did she have the guts to call at this point? Now it just seemed hopeless.

  Gus stood and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his bandanna. He went for the water cooler and turned back to them. “Looks like you won’t need to call.”

  Jayden looked over at him. “What?”

  He smiled. “She’s here.”

  Jayden and Billy stood, shading their brows in the November sun.

  Kassandra was walking toward them, snug San Francisco baseball cap on her head. Jayden couldn’t help but scan her body. She wore a tight-fitting green tee and short khaki shorts. Jayden could smell the lavender scent on her from a few feet away.

  “Hi, guys,” she said with a smile.

  Jayden’s heart tripped over itself.

  “Just ‘hi, guys’?” Gus said. “That’s all you say to us after disappearing?”

  Her smile fell. “I—”

  Gus grinned and hugged her. “I’m just messing with you. Glad to have you back.”

  “Yeah, it’s good to see you, Ms. H.,” Billy said. “We missed you, right, Beaumont?” All eyes fell to Jayden.

  “Right.” Jayden smiled and met Kassandra’s gaze briefly. They both looked at the boys.

  “We’re fixing the porch,” Gus said.

  Kassandra examined the work so far. “Looks good.”

  “They’re pretty good with their hands,” Jayden said, kneeling alongside them to continue. Most of the boards were in place. She showed them what to do with the remaining boards and stood again, sliding her hands into her back pockets.

  “You guys good to finish up?” she asked.

  “Yep. We got it.”
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  Jayden turned to Kassandra. “Can I talk to you for just a moment?”

  Kassandra looked panicked for the briefest of moments, and Jayden’s heart sank. But she seemed to recover quickly. “Sure.”

  “Great.”

  Jayden led the way inside her home, stepping up on the porch next to the rebuilt steps. She turned and offered Kassandra a hand. Kassandra took it and stepped up as well, dropping her hand and thanking her.

  “It’s quiet inside,” Jayden said, opening the door to let her in. Jayden closed the door behind them and calmed her dogs as they came to say hello.

  Kassandra loved on each of them, and Jayden started in, nervous as hell. “I just wanted to say thanks,” she said, letting out a deep breath.

  “For what?” Kassandra asked, turning to look at her.

  “For coming back.”

  Kassandra picked up Louie, a small terrier mix. “Oh, no problem.”

  Jayden still felt nervous, and Kassandra’s calm demeanor only made it worse. “Are you okay? I mean, are we okay?”

  Kassandra kissed Louie and hugged him close to her chin. “Yeah. We’re good.”

  Jayden wiped her sweaty palms on her shorts. “Good, because you know I’m sorry about what happened and everything.”

  “Sorry about what? You have nothing to be sorry about.”

  “But you—”

  “I just freaked is all. And I have so many other things on my mind. I think I just lost it all at once.”

  Jayden squirmed. Kassandra was one tough cookie to crack. She thought about dropping it, but she didn’t like unfinished business. You had to get the whole splinter out or it would fester and get infected. Better to just dig in and get it all out.

  “I just wanted you to know that…I’m not going to act on my feelings for you. As far as I’m concerned, we’re friends. But I meant what I said. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you. In whatever sense that means.”

  Kassandra’s eyes watered and she looked away quickly. “Thank you.”

  “I understand that it was a mistake. Things got a little carried away. I should’ve stopped it. But I—”

  “Was it?” Kassandra asked. “A mistake?”