A Little Night Music

by A. E. Easterlin

  Kate held her breath. Deep subjects for a little girl.

  “You have this thing inside you that could take you away from us. I get that you don’t want to hurt us—you love us, just like we love you. But don’t you see, Kate, just because we might not have forever doesn’t take away the love. Once it’s there; it’s there. You can’t erase it like it never happened.”

  “Baby, I hear you. I understand. I just don’t want that love to grow and grow and then have it ripped away. You’ve been through that once, you and your dad. I can’t put you in that position again.”

  “Yeah, Kate, I get that. What you don’t understand is that we’re already there. So what’s going to hurt less? Not having us together for whatever time we have? Or making a family and taking every second we get to share what we feel for each other for however long we have? Don’t push us away, Kate. We need you. And you need us.”

  Lately, all Kate did was cry. Right now was no exception.

  “How old are you anyway? And what did you do with my Suzanna while you were in Oklahoma?”

  Suze giggled. “I’m still me, and I’m still eleven. I’m just a little more grown up eleven, well—almost twelve.”

  Kate tightened her hold on Suzanna’s fingers and smiled at her. “Yeah. You’re a pretty grown up girl. I’m so glad I have you for a friend.”

  “So this is what we’re gonna do. Dad says you want to go to Houston by yourself, and I have to get back to school. You, friend Kate, are going to promise to get well, and come home to me and Dad. When you get back, and you’re feeling better, we’ll see if you still feel the same way.”

  How could she not? Such a precious gift of friendship and love staring me in the face, how could I possibly say no?

  “I can do that. I’ll follow the doctors’ advice, do exactly what they say, and try and get better. We’ll see where we go from there. Okay?”

  “Promise?” Suze widened her eyes, meeting her gaze in serious, eleven-year-old fashion.

  Kate held up her pinky finger. “Pinky swear.”

  Suzanna locked pinkies. “Pinky swear.”

  ****

  “You have any questions?” Dr. Carlson asked, handing Kate her discharge papers and a copy of her records.

  Dressed and ready to go, Kate sat back in the straight chair and stared at the ceiling. “Is it too late to change my mind?”

  Dr. Carlson smiled. “Ah, if only I had a dollar for every time I heard that question. You’re a brave woman, Kate. I won’t tell you this won’t be hard; that would be a lie. But it’s nothing compared to what you’ve gone through. I went over your test results again this morning. The lump is very small. You will not lose your breast unless the biopsy surprises us all. No reconstruction, loss of sensation, or disfiguring reminders of your cancer.”

  “Why this? Why again?”

  “If I could answer that, I’d have the cure in the palm of my hand. Why you? Just because. Just because, and your inherited genetic predisposition to the disease. Why this? It’s your challenge. Everyone has them. It could be MS, or heart disease, or diabetes, or bi-polar disorder. Why not you; why not this? We’re humans with imperfect bodies, living in a toxic environment. So we fight whatever battles present themselves, and we fight to win. You can do this. I know you can. I’ll be in constant contact with the doctors at Anderson. See you when you get back. Cancer free.” She patted Kate’s hand and left.

  Kate stared at the discharge papers and leaned against the side of the bed. So many words of wisdom. Fight the good fight, stand strong. And Suzanna’s take a chance, take love when it’s offered, don’t run away.

  Cash wasn’t going to let her go; she knew it deep inside. She was convinced the best thing would be for her to walk away, leave them, leave her job, leave the state even. Take what time she had left and make the most of it. The easy way—the coward’s way. She was anything but a coward. If Cash and Suzanna were willing to take a chance, why couldn’t she?

  As if on cue, Cash slung open the door and caught her solemn gaze. He marched right up to her, nudged her legs apart, and stood between them, sharing his heat. Kate shivered and burrowed into him, shivering with cold and nerves. His arms pulled her closer, chin on her head, as he offered his strength and comfort.

  “I know what you’re thinking, and you can forget it. I’m not letting you go, no matter what reasons or excuses you give. We’re in this together—you, me, Suzanna. Maybe it won’t be easy, maybe we don’t have any guarantees, but you’re worth—we’re worth—any price we have to pay. So stop second guessing our relationship and let me get you home where you belong.”

  Kate rocked with him from side to side. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” she whispered.

  “Wrong question. It’s I who don’t deserve you, but there you have it. Like Suzanna said, it’s too late to turn our backs—the love is already there. Nothing will ever erase it.”

  They stood for a few minutes, and then Cash grabbed her bag and guided her from the room. Several of the nurses gathered to say goodbye, offering her their encouragement and assurances that her outcome would be favorable. Kate and Cash both thanked them for their exemplary care, and made their way to a taxi.

  “Suzanna has been planning all morning,” Cash said. “She’s determined to cook us a special family dinner tonight.”

  Kate’s eyes went wide, and she glanced at a grinning Cash. “She cooks?”

  He nodded once. “Yeah, since she came home from Oklahoma.”

  “That would be yesterday,” she remarked drily, making him laugh.

  “That would be since she spent two weeks with her grandmother. Clothes, cooking, boys, and some of life’s deeper meaning. I hadn’t realized how much those two missed each other.”

  “She’s lucky to have a grandmother. And Ray’s mom sounds like an exceptional woman,” Kate said.

  “That she is,” Cash agreed. “Look, it’s only one meal. If it’s awful, we can order pizza.”

  Indignant, Kate reared away from him. “We absolutely will not. Whatever she makes, we’ll eat it and brag on every bite. Suze is so sweet—wanting to do something special for me. No way would I hurt her feelings, no matter how bad the food.”

  “Okay,” he agreed, as Kate giggled at the dubious expression on his face. Cash liked to eat, and eat well.

  “Don’t worry, Dad,” she teased. “You’ll survive.”

  Cash linked his fingers with hers and rested their joined hands on his thigh. His hard muscles tempted her with thoughts of what was inches away. Which made her remember the way his strong body hovered over her before he plunged into her. Which made her squirm as her panties dampened. Which caused her to stare at him, drinking in the male perfection sitting next to her. Which…God, she faced a horrendous next few weeks, but all she could think of at this moment was how much she wanted him, and what she wanted to do to him. How crazy was that?

  “You keep staring at me with that look on your face, and I’ll have to have the driver pull over. Not fair while we’re in the back of this car—in public and all.”

  “Who said I had to be fair?” she quipped in a husky voice.

  Kate glanced up. The driver grinned as he watched them in the rearview mirror. He winked and then stared straight ahead.

  She tried to keep a straight face as Cash pushed her hand against his impressive erection. Okay, so he wanted her as badly as she wanted him.

  “Cash.”

  He laughed softly and whispered for her ears only, “Later, lady. After Suzanna goes to sleep. Tonight and tomorrow night, I’m going to make love to you all night long. Kiss every inch of your delectable body. Explore every pleasure. Give you everything I’ve got. All of it. When you head to Houston, the only thing that will be in your mind is me. Us. What we’ve done. What we have.”

  Kate swallowed, a slow anticipation melting all over her.

  Cash cocked his head and laughed out loud. Raising their joined hands to his mouth, he pressed a hot, wet kiss to her knuckles. “Hol
d that thought until later.”

  “Wow,” she murmured.

  When they arrived, Cash paid the driver, who wished them good luck, and leaned toward her. “You ready for this?”

  “Yeah.” She softly smiled. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  Kate smelled the garlic and onions the minute she reached the door. Italian. Smart choice. Not too many ingredients, something they would all enjoy, two pots. Simple, but delicious.

  Cash grinned at her as he opened the door. The aroma made her mouth water.

  Suzanna stood at the cooktop, stirring the sauce. The companion pot steamed as the water for the pasta began to boil, and she dumped the box of spaghetti into the water. Her hair curled around her pink face, and Kate had a sudden image of the woman she would become. Beautiful, loving, nurturing of her family. An exceptional wife and mother.

  The warmth of her love for this young woman bloomed in her heart. For as long as she lived, this picture of Suzanna preparing her first meal to honor someone she cared for would stick in her mind. Precious.

  As she heard the commotion in the living room, Suzanna turned from her cooking. “You’re home,” she squealed, and ran to give Kate a hug. “You look good.”

  Kate kissed the top of her head. “This smells like heaven, munchkin. Your gram teach you how to make spaghetti?”

  Suzanna nodded emphatically. “Yep. And don’t worry, I made it while I was gone, and it tastes as good as it smells.”

  Cash rubbed his hands together. “Great, then let’s get this show on the road. I’m starving.”

  Suzanna and Kate finished getting the meal to the table, with Kate supervising the prep on the salad and the oven for the garlic rolls.

  The first bite proved it—the girl was going to be a great cook. It tasted as good as it smelled. Kate savored the flavor of tomatoes and parmesan as she listened to Cash tease Suzanna.

  Thank you, God. I’m so very grateful for the sheer joy and blessing of being a part of this family.

  Her family.

  Everything Suzanna said was true. They loved her; she loved them. It wasn’t going to go away, no matter what the future held. Maybe it would be hard—for sure, it would be hard—but for them, for this, she’d fight with everything she had. No more doubts, no more whining and complaining.

  As if he could read her mind and knew what she was thinking, Cash smiled, eyes crinkled behind his glasses, and all the warmth and love in his heart shining back at her. Peace settled in her soul like a soft warm blanket on a cold winter’s day. With them, for them, because of them, she could face her future.

  Suzanna noticed the lull in the conversation, her head bouncing from Cash to Kate and back again. “Um, Dad, Sally Cline asked me to work on a science project with her. We’re a little behind because I went to Oklahoma. I was wondering if maybe I could spend the night at her house? I packed a bag already, and if it’s okay, her mom will drive us to school in the morning.”

  Cash’s gaze never left Kate. “Sure, munchkin. Grab your things. You cooked, so I’ll help Kate clean up.”

  Kate’s gaze never left his for an instant. “Don’t stay up late, Suzanna. Bed by ten, okay?”

  Suzanna rolled her eyes and got up with a snigger. “Yeah, right. Dad?” she prodded, standing.

  Kate and Cash stared, bemused.

  “Her mom’s waiting for me downstairs.”

  Silence.

  “Okay, I’m going to get my duffle. Bye, Kate.” Suze grinned and kissed her on the cheek. Kate shook herself—long enough to give her a distracted goodbye.

  Suzanna grabbed her things, laughing under her breath, and Cash followed her out the door. When it closed behind them, Kate ignored the food on the table. The only thing on her mind was Cash.

  When he came back from seeing Suzanna off, he leaned against the closed door, watching her every movement. A bottle of half-full Chianti, two glasses. She pulled the tie from her hair, and it brushed her shoulders. Her gaze locked on him and she rose.

  She hit the switch on the wall, and the lights went out. The glow from the bulb over the stove cast shadows in the room. He hadn’t moved, but the atmosphere was thick with gusts of desire.

  Music—the night music, the common element weaving through their every passionate experience—that’s what was missing.

  Cash straightened as she turned on the entertainment unit and traced the spines of his CD collection. No classical tonight. Something eclectic, romantic, sexy. Over her shoulder she saw he slowly stalked in her direction. Her pulse went wild; her femininity throbbed. Her lips stung in anticipation.

  Perfect…oldies, the quintessential night music. “Ebb Tide” and “Deep Purple” from the forties, “All in the Game of Love,” “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes,” “In the Still of the Night” from the sixties…even some Marvin Gaye. If that didn’t scream “make love to me,” nothing would.

  She had just set the volume when she met his gaze. So close she could feel his body heat, Cash planted his powerful legs apart, unbuckled his belt, slid it inch by inch from the loops of his jeans, and let it drop at his feet. She could feel his moist, hot breath as his right hand released the buttons on his blue shirt, one at a time, until it hung loose, framing the hard ridges and valleys of his abs.

  She licked her dry lips and let her eyes appreciate the beauty of his body.

  Panting shallow breaths, mesmerized by the fire in his eyes and the sexual draw of his nearness, she waited.

  Cash shrugged, the shirt falling from each shoulder, sliding down his arms, revealing his bulky biceps before it, too, landed on the floor. Kate’s fingers tingled and curled with desire. Magnificent—no less perfect than a statute in smooth marble carved by a master. Muscle and bone. Hero. Warrior—all male. He’d promised to give her everything he had, and that was what she wanted. Everything.

  The time had come.

  Strong fingers caressed the skin of her forearms, sliding up to the soft tissue of her upper arms, leaving behind shivers of delight and heightened senses. Then to her neck and jaw, his thumbs running back and forth over the delicate bones of her face. He drew her close until his chest brushed the tight buds of her distended nipples. Kate shivered, closing her eyes, the intensity of sensation almost too much to bear. One moment her blood ran hot, the next cold. Never—ever—had she hungered for a man as she hungered for this man.

  And the music played on, the lyrics winding through her senses along with his touch. It was magic. Words of love and need. Her body began to vibrate with liquid fire.

  A hungry hum broke the harmonies filling the room. Her? She couldn’t say—hypnotized by the way his forefinger traced her forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips. Down her chin to the pulse beating furiously at the hollow of her neck. Lower, through the valley between her breasts, to the waist of her jeans, to flick the button and lower the zipper.

  All the while, she listened as the music played, enticing sounds and lyrics of love weaving through the room, a background of sultry, southern heat and the promise of love, of sex. Primal, raw, pure sex. Pure need. Pure ecstasy.

  His eyes a branding flame on her skin; his breath a hot wind fanning them higher. A white hot blazing inferno that threatened to burn her to ash. Her chest heaved, heart hammered, anticipating his next move.

  “Take off your blouse, Kate,” he ordered. No, growled. Low and sexy. “Do it slowly.”

  There was but one thing to do.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  She could feel shimmering waves of heat coming off his body. Smell a faint fragrance of sandalwood, the bite of spice mixed with the scent that was his own. That alone was enough to make her heart explode.

  As she parted her blouse and let it slide from her shoulders, she watched Cash’s reaction from lowered lashes. She unclasped the front closure of her bra and felt her breasts spill from the lacy cups. In one maneuver, it cascaded to the floor to land on her blouse.

  His gaze pinned her. For a moment she was tempted to shield her body, protect the scarred flesh from such
an inspection. Her senses reeled as if short-circuited, and a spasm of fear clutched in her belly.

  He had never turned from her before, nor did he now. Quite the contrary. His reaction was no different; one word fell from his lips: “Beautiful.”

  She let her body relax and drank his reaction. The love so ardently manifested in his sensuous inspection shattered the remaining shell she’d so carefully erected, and a stunning wave of surrender washed through her entire being. The doubt was banished, gone forever. Fear thrown to the wind. Freedom from the past and its pain rushed through her, and joy—intoxicating joy—flowed with the sweet rush of desire through every cell in her body. All because of this man and the healing force of his love.

  “Cash…” She reached for him.

  He stopped her and stared, not with repulsion or rejection—with lust. His face hardened, eyes glowing like burning embers in the slight flush of his skin.

  “The rest of it. Now.”

  He needed her—and she needed him.

  Kate met his gaze of raw sensuality, then skimmed her thumbs into the waistband of her jeans and pushed them to the floor. A tiny scrap of wine-colored lace covered her sex. As she began to push the panties over her hips, Cash’s hand circled her wrist. In one motion, he ripped the satin ribbon that connected front to back, raised the torn silk to his face, and inhaled the scent of her arousal.

  “Cash.” She couldn’t suppress a moan of ecstasy.

  Pushing her against the wall for support, he braced her with his knee. Rough male muscle intimately invading her weeping folds, a continuous stream of needful mewls escaped her lips.

  Yes!

  “Please…Cash,” she begged.

  “I’ve got you,” he spoke through shared breath and raised her leg to his hip. The hard, throbbing column of his erection teased her core. Panting against his lips, she murmured his name.

  Kate moaned, and struggled to stay upright. Melting in a wave of erotic pleasure, she wrapped her arms around his neck and started to lift her other leg around his waist.