As Long As You Love Me

by LuAnn McLane

  “I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself.”

  Angelica smiled. “That’s a very Ava thing to say. Anyways, I’m going to go home and go back to school. Do something meaningful with my life. After hearing the speech about Heartbeat tonight, I’ve decided it’s about time for me to give back too. Tonight was a turning point for me, and you played a big part in that. So thank you.”

  Ava felt emotion well up in her throat, and she nodded.

  “So, anyway, I’m sorry for the intrusion, but I just had to tell you that.”

  “I’m glad you did.”

  Angelica stood up. “Well, I’ll be on my way. And if, you know, you want to keep in touch?” She bit her bottom lip and shrugged.

  Ava stood up. “I’d like that, Angelica,” she said, and oddly enough, it was true.

  Angelica did a fist pump, and despite everything—or maybe it was because of everything—Ava had to chuckle at her reaction.

  “I wish you the best and a safe trip.” Ava gave her a hug. “I’ll walk you out.”

  “And make sure you lock the door!”

  “I will,” Ava promised, and she led the way through her loft.

  After a final goodbye, Ava turned the deadbolt and stood with her back against the door for a few moments, thinking that her life was stranger than fiction. The urge to call Jesse tugged at her heart, but she somehow refrained, knowing she needed to take a step back and figure out what direction to take her life in.

  After retrieving the wine and glasses from the rooftop, she tidied up the kitchen, trying to do mundane, normal tasks while her mind continued to race through the events of the evening. Knowing sleep would be impossible, she carried on with more mindless household chores until her apartment sparkled with cleanliness. By all rights, she should have been staggering with exhaustion, but like the little Energizer Bunny, she kept going and going . . .

  And then she stopped in the middle of dusting her ceiling fan, suddenly knowing just what she needed to do to get her life back in order. Mere minutes later, she’d booked a flight to Chicago, taken a hot shower, and then rushed around her bedroom, tossing clothes into her suitcase. She needed the sage advice of her grandpa Gigi, the warm embrace of her nonna, and the loving arms of her parents. She smiled, and could almost taste the tang of marinara sauce.

  Ava sat at the table in her grandparents’ cozy kitchen, thinking the décor probably hadn’t changed much since they’d first moved into the redbrick home back in the 1950s. Her next thought was that Jesse would love the speckled Formica table and olive-green cabinets. She took a sip of her Chianti from the Italian bàcaro wineglass and watched her grandpa Gigi put together a giant antipasti platter. Later, they’d head over to the restaurant and join her parents for dinner and dancing. They were both working the dinner shift, but had promised Ava that they would take a break for their family to sit down together just like they had in the old days. Still reeling from yesterday’s events, Ava didn’t know how long she’d stay in Chicago, but right now the kitchen where she’d spent so much time as a child felt like a warm blanket tucked around her. She inhaled the comforting scent of onions and garlic and felt some of her lingering stress melt away.

  A moment later her nonna breezed into the room, and when she spotted Ava she stopped in her tracks and let out a squeal of pure delight. “My Ava!” she exclaimed, and then uttered a long string of Italian endearments. She put her hands to her chest and swiped at a tear.

  “There you are,” Ava said, pushing up to her feet. “I was growing impatient.”

  “I was taking a bubble bath and Frankie told me to hurry it up but didn’t tell me why!”

  “You didn’t hurry up, Rosa,” Grandpa Gigi said with a deep chuckle. “But this one, she tells me to keep the secret, and so I did.”

  Ava rushed over and gave her grandmother a lingering hug. “My fault. I thought it would be fun to see the surprise on your face. You smell like lavender.”

  “Little did I know. I am overjoyed you are here!” Rosa said, tucking a lock of wavy silver hair behind her ear. She sported the same shoulder-length pageboy haircut that she’d worn for as long as Ava could remember. With her high cheekbones, full mouth, and deep-set brown eyes, Nonna was still a timeless beauty reminiscent of Sophia Loren.

  “You look classy as always, Nonna,” Ava said. As usual, her grandmother wore a dress that looked as if she were back in the 1950s. Once, Ava’s mother had bought Nonna a pantsuit and she’d tried it on and then laughed and laughed as if wearing slacks were some sort of joke.

  “Thank you, Ava.” Nonna walked over and looked over her husband’s shoulder. “Oh, that looks delicious, Frankie,” she said, kissing her fingertips in appreciation. “The prosciutto-wrapped asparagus looks especially tasty.”

  “We are celebrating the arrival of Ava, so I am pulling out all the stops,” declared Grandpa Gigi in his big, booming voice. “I brought out the good wine. Now, you go and have a seat, Rosa,” he said, giving her a quick kiss. “Enjoy your granddaughter. I’ve got this under control.”

  Ava smiled at their show of affection. She’d spent a lot of time with her grandparents and rarely witnessed them at odds with each other. Laughter came quick, and hugs were abundant in their household. And the food . . . Lordy. “Come sit by me,” Ava said, and poured Nonna a glass of wine.

  “Ava Concetta, you are as beautiful as ever,” Nonna exclaimed, pinching Ava’s cheek before sitting down. “Such a lovely surprise to have you here.” She tapped her glass to Ava’s. “When Frankie said, ‘Come down, I have a surprise for you,’ I was expecting a savory dish or something, not you, my sweet granddaughter. So, what brings you here?”

  “I just needed to come home for a bit.” Ava smiled, but her bottom lip trembled, giving her away.

  Rosa put her hand over Ava’s. “Come join us, Frankie,” she said over her shoulder, and then said to Ava, “Tell me what’s troubling you, my sweet child.”

  Ava hesitated, not knowing where to begin.

  Rosa squeezed her hand. “If it’s about that story on television, don’t you worry. Everyone who knows you knows it was a bunch of baloney. I was going to call and tell you as much, but I didn’t want to give the silly interview any credence or even let you know that I’d happened to see it.”

  Ava felt hot moisture gather behind her eyes.

  “Come on, talk to us,” Grandpa Gigi said, while refilling her wineglass.

  Ava took a deep breath and then gave them an abbreviated version of her life for the past month and a half. At the end of the story, she sat back and looked at her grandparents. “So, what should I do?” she asked before popping a black olive into her mouth.

  “It seems to me that you love this Jesse Heart,” Nonna said. “I can see it in your eyes when you speak of him.”

  “I do, Nonna, but I want to live a quiet life,” Ava explained.

  Grandpa Gigi tilted his head to the side. “So, what is your greatest fear in all of this?”

  “Hurting Jesse. I already know what it feels like, and I don’t want to do that ever again.”

  Grandpa Gigi raised his palms upward. “And not being with him is your answer to this problem? You think this doesn’t hurt him?”

  Ava took a sip of her wine. “But he’ll move on from me, eventually. If I stay with him and can’t live the life he wants with his brothers, with Heartbeat, then it will be so much worse in the end. Don’t you see?”

  “Would it be so bad, this life?” Nonna asked. “Or is the past with Anthony coloring your decision?”

  Ava leaned back in her chair. “Oh, Nonna, I don’t know.”

  Nonna patted Ava’s hand. “I think you need to take some time and the answer will come to you, but I will leave you with this little story,” she said, with a glance at her husband. “I was painfully frightened to leave my little village in Italy. But Frankie, he wanted to come to America and make a better life for me and for my little Sophia, who was just a baby. How could I leave my family? I didn’t ev
en know English! But I stiffened my spine and came with him.”

  “Cried herself to sleep every night,” Grandpa Gigi said, drawing a gasp of surprise from her grandmother.

  “You knew this?” Rosa asked. “I tried so hard to keep my tears from you.”

  “Ah, Rosa, I knew, and it only made me work so much harder to give you the life you so richly deserved,” he said, and then turned his attention to Ava. “The point your grandmother is making is that sometimes it’s best to take the chance and allow love and devotion to pave the way to happiness.”

  Ava swallowed hard and then nodded.

  Nonna leaned forward. “Ava, we don’t mean to give you answers. Just look deep within your heart before making your decision.” She smiled broadly. “And that’s why you’re here! We are so glad! Now just relax so that wisdom can find its way into your brain and love can fill your heart.”

  “And so I shall.” Ava filled her plate and they chatted about other things: the Chicago Cubs, new menu items, and music. Although she didn’t know how long she needed, Ava knew her decision to come here had been the right one. Her love for her family was endless, and they would help guide her in the direction she needed to go.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  ENDLESS LOVE

  Jesse missed Ava more and more with each passing day. Although he desperately wanted to contact her, talk to her, he refrained, determined to give her the time and space she needed to make her decision. He loved her so much that he considered telling her that he’d back away from Heartbeat, from any concerts or future albums, but that thought filled him with sadness. Heartbeat wouldn’t be the same without him, and he wanted to continue with benefit concerts for the foundation. But God, he wished she’d give him some sort of hope to cling to. Every time his phone pinged he hoped he’d see Ava’s number, but after two weeks of silence, he was growing weary. Thankfully, Jimmy was heading over to hang out by the pool. His brother always helped to calm him down and shed some light on what had become dark days, and lately, there had been a lot of those.

  Jesse cracked open a Beachin’ beer and headed out to the pool. He put on some Elvis to lighten his mood, but not even the King could help snap him out of it. Jimmy had told him to just keep calm and to trust that Ava would come to her senses, but Jesse wasn’t calm by nature. When Elvis started crooning “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” Jesse put his beer down and jumped into the deep end of the pool, wanting to drown out the love song. The cool water felt good against his warm skin, and he broke the surface, hoping to clear his head . . . but then he frowned. What the hell. Who put on the Backstreet Boys? Was Jimmy trying to be funny?

  Jesse swam to the side of the pool, but Jimmy wasn’t anywhere in sight. Confused, Jesse was about to climb the ladder but then stopped and listened. Oh God . . . His heart started to thud when he realized what Backstreet song was coming through the speakers. “ ‘As long as you love me,’ ” Jesse whispered, and he scrambled up the ladder. He looked around so quickly that water droplets flew everywhere.

  And then he saw her. Ava . . . in the grass, dancing beneath the stars. She wore some white gauzy thing that seemed to float around her body while she dipped and twirled, grace in motion. Jesse listened to the words of the song and hope returned, seeping into his heart and surging through his veins.

  Ava spotted him and beckoned for him to join her, but his legs refused to move. All he could do was stare, thinking that this felt like a dream. But when she beckoned again, Jesse knew what she wanted. Jesse smiled and hurried forward, grasping her hand.

  “I’m ready,” she said.

  Jesse put his hands around her waist and lifted her up in the air. She put her arms out, soaring above him, and he spun her around, feeling the cool grass beneath his feet and seeing the stars twinkling in the inky black sky. The words to “As Long as You Love Me” filled his head and he smiled, spun her once more, and then lowered her just as the song ended.

  They stood silently, breathing hard, and then he pulled her closer, dipped his head, and kissed her. Ah, her lips felt soft, warm, and Jesse threaded his fingers through her hair, tipping her head, back, deepening the kiss he’d been dreaming about for days upon days. When he finally pulled his lips from hers, Jesse smiled, searching her face, drinking her in. He traced a fingertip down her soft cheek. “You’re here,” he said with a sense of wonder.

  “With you,” she said softly. “Right where I want to be. Jesse, I needed a couple of weeks to do some soul searching.”

  “It seemed like a couple of years.”

  Ava reached up and cupped his cheeks between her hands. “I’m sorry for what I put you through.”

  “Don’t be. So . . . what did you find in your search?”

  “You.” She smiled softly. “Just you, everywhere I looked. Every song I heard.” Ava looked into his eyes and shook her head. “Every breath I took, you were on my mind and in my heart. You were right.”

  “Really? Wait, let me savor the moment. I’m not right very often. Wait, what was I right about?”

  Ava laughed, but then tilted her head to the side. “I was worried about superficial things. Meaningless things . . . the paparazzi, what your fans might think of me. But as long as we have each other, nothing else, no one else, can get in the way. I don’t care about anything else.”

  “Well, I love you, Ava. Being without you sucked,” he said, pulling a pout that made her laugh.

  “I love you too,” she murmured, and then raised up on tiptoe, giving him a tender kiss.

  “Yes!” Jesse’s heart thudded. Taking a deep breath, he looked up just as a star streaked across the sky. “Oh wow, did you see it?” Jesse asked.

  “See what?”

  “The shooting star.”

  “Oh, I missed it. The sky is so clear and beautiful tonight.” She sighed. “So, did you make a wish?” Ava asked.

  “Nope.” Jesse shook his head slowly. “I didn’t have to.”

  “Why is that?” Ava reached up and brushed his hair from his forehead.

  “I’ve already got my wish.”

  “You wished for a kiss?” Ava asked.

  Jesse gave her a smile that would always melt her heart. “Not just one kiss. Endless kisses for the rest of our lives.”

  Ava cupped his cheeks in her hands and looked into his eyes. “You’ve got more than that. You’ve got my endless love—now and forever.”

  Check out the rest of the Hearthrob series from USA Today bestselling author LuAnn McLane!

  The former frontman of the Heart Brothers—and a notorious bad boy—reconnects with his first love when the group goes on a reunion tour.

  All I Ever Wanted

  * * *

  A media stunt turns into a real-life romance when the youngest Heart Brother agrees to help a pop star's career.

  It's Gotta Be You

  * * *

  The soul searching Heart brother just might meet his match when he finally connects with the feisty girl next door.

  Shape of My Heart

  * * *

  ORDER YOUR COPIES TODAY!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  LuAnn McLane’s books have appeared on bestseller lists, including those of USA Today, Barnes & Noble, Rhapsody, and the Doubleday Book Club. When she isn’t writing, she enjoys family, friends, cooking, reading, music, travel, and University of Kentucky basketball.

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  Authors.SimonandSchuster.com/LuAnn-McLane

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  SimonandSchuster.com

  THE HEARTTHROB SERIES

  By LuAnn McLane

  All I Ever Wanted

  It’s Gotta Be You

  Shape of My Heart

  As Long as You Love Me

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2018 by LuAnn McLane

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  First Pocket Star Books ebook edition June 2018

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