Finding Grace: A Novel

by Sarah Pawley

  "Anybody know this kid?" he shouted, his voice echoing in the empty hall. "She says she works here. Did somebody hire her?"

  Henry turned in his seat, and saw her standing there. So she had come, after all. A surge of delight went through his frame, and he did his best to suppress the smile that threatened his expression. He rose from his seat, straightening his collar…and made his way towards her.

  Chapter 16

  “With the Band”

  She stood at the entrance to the ballroom, looking around at the activity...the juggler doing repetitions, the magician practicing his tricks, the dancers each stepping in time to their own beats. And as she watched them she wondered…

  What place do I have with these people?

  She'd made the trip all on her own. Jack and Alice had both asked several times if they could take her. But she had declined. I can manage on my own, but thank you all the same, she'd told them. To which Jack had grumbled, saying how tired he was of hearing that turn of phrase. But before he left for work, he came around and told her they would all go out to dinner that night...maybe go to a movie, to celebrate her first day on the job. She had smiled at him, kissing his cheek, and he had muttered something utterly childish and grumpy in response...which only made her smile all the more.

  Now she stood, watching as Henry came towards her. He was smiling slightly. Gloating, actually. Clearly he enjoyed the idea that she’d come to work for him. Men, she thought. How they love being right. But his smug expression was becoming too familiar. And she found that her reaction now wasn’t what it was before. At one time, she would have found it infuriating. Now, that smirk was one of the little things she was beginning to love. But she wasn't about to tell him so. His pride was beastly enough as it was, and there was no need to make it worse. When he came near, he nodded at the worker to send him on his way. Then he looked at her.

  "You're late.”

  She shrugged. "So sue me, then."

  Now he smiled in that cheeky way of his. "I knew you couldn't stay away."

  When he was being this way, she found it much easier talking to him. His love of himself was easy to battle, and she had to say she rather enjoyed taking him down a notch or two. She stepped close to him, pointing at his neck. "What’s that swelled up thing between your shoulders?"

  He looked a bit worried. "What swelled up thing?"

  "Oh, never mind, I know what it is…It's just your head." She smirked, mimicking his impish trademark, and she liked the look that came to his face. It was like a balloon deflating. And yet, he seemed gracious in his defeat, giving her a kind of sheepish look.

  "You are a cold, cold woman," he replied, and he sighed. “So how’s the hand?”

  “Kind of sore, but otherwise fine. I can take a little pain.” She saw him smile as they began to walk together towards the stage, and she couldn’t help but smile a little too. How different the place was now, so calm and quiet, except for the sounds of the band playing low in practice, and the light hum of voices from the stage and all around. "So what am I doing here?" she asked. "Sewing? Washing windows? What?"

  He only chuckled in response. "Not exactly. No, I think you’re of more use working with the band. Singing with the band, actually.”

  She stopped. So did he, turning to look at her. She waited for him to say he was only joking. A long moment went by as she waited for him to say it. But he didn’t, and she felt a nervous little laugh bubble up from inside.

  “You want me to sing?”

  "What did you think I wanted you for?" he asked. Then he scoffed. "Sewing and cleaning - please."

  She took a slight step back, shaking her head. "I can't sing in front of crowds like yours. I just can't." She turned to leave, but he grabbed her hand and started pulling her along.

  "You can do anything you set your mind to."

  She tried to pull away, head still shaking. "No, I can't."

  He stopped, but retained her hand, looking at her intently. "Yes you can, and you will. You're here, and I've already told my people about you. They want to meet you. And besides, I don't have the time to look for someone else. You're all I've got."

  She tried to speak, to give further fight, but couldn’t find words for aid.

  You're all I've got, he’d said. How could she refuse, without seeming selfish and petty? She couldn’t, and she knew it. But she wanted to, and she would’ve done anything if he would just let her out of it. Just the thought of standing there, in front of whole room of people with their judging ears and eyes on her, was terrifying. But looking at his face, she knew he wasn’t about to give up, and her shoulders sank in defeat. She groaned slightly, and he seemed to take pity on her, for he gave her hand a little pat.

  "Before you curl up on the floor in a ball, why don't you come over and introduce yourself? You should meet everyone."

  He let go of her hand, gently taking her by the arm. He led her across the floor and up to the stage. She felt her stomach knot up a little as everyone turned to look at her. Meeting new people was not one of her strong points. In her life, there had been few strangers who crossed her path, and the rare occasion of meeting someone new was something she still hadn’t mastered. The tension beat strong in her veins, but she did her best not to show it, raising her chin in an attempt at confidence. Henry called for everyone’s attention.

  “People, this is Grace Langdon. For today, she’s here to observe. And if you’re nice enough to her, maybe she’ll consider staying.”

  While the men in the band started chattering, pushing forward in an attempt to introduce themselves, Henry introduced her to the ladies and gentleman around them on the stage. They were pleasant, but their words were brief, as they were more interested in getting back to their work. The band seemed more eager to meet her, and as Henry led her down to them, she felt his hand holding her arm a little tighter…his body moving a little closer, as if he were trying to protect her. The men were certainly a rowdy bunch, all trying to talk over each other. It wasn’t until Henry raised his voice that they finally quieted.

  “Settle down, you bunch of monkeys. I know that respectable women aren’t the kind you’re used to, but try and control yourselves.”

  That sent them into another outburst of noise, many of them playing at being offended by their boss’s insult. Henry led her through the crowd, bringing her to the piano, where a white-haired gentleman rose to greet them with a kind smile. Henry introduced her to him…the leader of the band.

  “This is Thomas. Bandleader, piano player, and all around good egg. If you need anything, he’s the one to go to.”

  They shook hands, and she smiled shyly.

  "I have a brother named Thomas," she said. "But he can't carry a tune in a five gallon bucket."

  Thomas chuckled. So did the other men, and one pushed his way to the front of the crowd. He was a baby-faced trumpet player, ginger-haired and hazel-eyed, and she recognized him from that first night she’d been to the club. As he took her hand, she smiled.

  “I remember you. You were in the show, dancing and singing. You play in the band, too?”

  He nodded, a boyish grin on his face. “Call me Toby.” He raised her hand to his lips, kissing it lightly, his eyes twinkling with playfulness. "Let me say, Miss Grace, that you are aptly named.”

  She wanted to be skeptical about all of the attention. They were just men being men, after all. But they were all so charming. Toby in particular. He had just a little bit of the devil behind his eyes. But his face was so angelic, his way so endearing, she couldn’t help but be charmed by him. Still, she tried to keep a bit of sense about her. She shook her head, giving him a sly little smile…and the first remark that came into her head.

  “I ain’t seen so much ham since I left Virginia.”

  The men all laughed again, and even Henry managed a chuckle. But then he was suddenly called away on a matter of business. He seemed reluctant to leave her there, and she felt a little nervous at the prospect of his going. But Thomas kindly
offered to watch after her.

  “Don’t worry boss. I’ll protect her from these hounds.” His smile was gentle…his way almost grandfatherly, and when he asked her to take a seat at the piano, she only hesitated for a moment before accepting his invitation. He leaned on the piano’s closed top, looking kindly at her.

  “So…The boss says you play. Is that right?”

  She nodded, feeling a bit shy. “A little.”

  “Would you play for us?”

  She opened her mouth to protest…but before she could speak, the men all gathered around, encouraging her to perform for them. Her cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment. But when they asked her repeatedly to play, she felt it wouldn’t be right to turn them down.

  With their eager eyes watching, she played the first piece she could think of…one of Chopin’s most famous nocturnes. Her fingers flew through it much faster than she wanted them to. But when she was done, the applause they gave her made her feel as if she’d given the best performance of her life. She thanked them, and started to leave the piano bench, thinking she had remained too long. But Thomas urged her to stay where she was. He sat down beside her.

  “You have a real gift, Miss Grace. And lovely piano hands, I might add. But have you ever played Jazz?”

  She shook her head, and he smiled.

  “Well then, let these hands show you what they can do.”

  He began to play, and the moment she heard the infectious melody, she was captivated by it. He spoke as he played, punctuating his words with rhythmic movements of his fingers on the keys.

  “Jazz is a feeling. It’s a frame of mind…a state of being. It comes from deep down in the soul. It radiates out through the fingers, almost like they’re under a magic spell.”

  Toby came hurrying to her side, an eager smile on his face. “It works with the feet, too.” He took her hand, pulling her away from the bench. “Come on. I’ll show you what I mean.”

  As quick as he moved, it was difficult to put up much of an argument. And he was so eager, so full of energy, she found that she had little will to resist him. He led her up on the stage, pulling over a chair for her to sit on. He smiled at her, straightening his tie as if preparing himself.

  “Let me show you how it’s done,” he said. “Observe the wonder that is me in action.”

  She sat there watching as he took several steps back. He cued the band to play a tune. And then he danced, moving with athletic grace like nothing she’d ever seen before. His feet moved so fast she could hardly believe her eyes. And when he finished, he went down on one knee in a flourish…kneeling right before her. She was awestruck, her voice almost a whisper.

  “That was amazing. How do you do that?”

  He grinned, clearly pleased with himself. “Natural born talent,” he replied.

  She smiled. He certainly wasn’t shy, that was plain to see. Neither was he modest about his talent. And yet, as confident as he was, he wasn’t the least bit offensive. Under his bravado there was an underlying sweetness that shined through, and she couldn’t help being impressed by him. She liked him very much, as she found she liked everyone she’d met. They were such a close knit group, and so friendly, even to her. They didn’t know her, and yet they’d welcomed her as if she was one of their own. It made her forget the doubts she’d had just a little while ago.

  It made her want to be one of them.

  * * * * *

  After settling some small matters with his bookkeeper, Henry went out in the hall to listen to the music coming from down below…and to see how Grace was getting along. Leaning his hands on the railing, watching her as she sat in her chair on the stage, he was quite surprised at what he saw.

  She smiled. She laughed. The light of joy shined in her every movement. How beautiful she was when she was happy…and seeing it, he was stung with envy.

  Why can’t she be that way with me? He wondered.

  She’d known his employees less than half a day. And yet, she smiled and talked to them so freely, particularly with Toby. With growing unease, he watched the two of them onstage. Toby danced for her, showing off the way he always did with pretty girls, especially new ones. But there was something about him showing off for her…and her obvious enjoyment of it…that made his temper rise.

  Toby was just a boy, nineteen years old, with a baby face and a head of ridiculous curly hair. What was so damned special about him? He could sing and dance, but so what? And as for Toby himself, why did he have to chase after her? He’d always been a notorious rascal, flirting with and charming all the women in the place. But why couldn’t he leave this one girl alone?

  Surely she wasn’t so unwise as to be fooled by such a display. She was bright… intelligent. Could she really be moved by such false flirtations? He didn’t want to believe she would fall for such an act…and yet, there she was, clearly taken in by it all.

  He stood up straight, his fists clenched at his sides. Who did they think they were, fooling around as if they were mingling at a party? They worked for him. This wasn’t playtime…and maybe they needed a reminder of just who was running this show.

  * * * * *

  She was having a ball. The music was delightful, but the company was even better. Toby wasn’t just a great dancer and a sweet-natured soul. He was quite possibly the funniest person she’d ever met. He told the most awful jokes, but the way he told them, she couldn’t help but laugh. He had a great gift for mimicry, doing spot on impressions of Thomas and other members of the band. But when he started to do an impression of Henry, she found herself covering her mouth, feeling a bit ashamed for finding it rather funny. She was actually quite relived when Henry suddenly appeared. Like a no nonsense teacher, coming into a room full of rowdy students, he commanded instant attention.

  “Are we on a break, people? I’m paying you to work, not to sit around. Get to it before I bust some heads.”

  Everyone scrambled to get back to business. Unsure of what to do, she went to stand beside Thomas at the piano. Feeling he was the best person to inquire after, she started to ask him what she should be doing. But before she could say anything, Henry came over with several sheets of paper, handing them to her.

  “These are lyrics,” he said. “They’re the songs you’ll need to learn for the show. Thomas will teach you the words, the rhythms. Singing jazz isn’t what you’re used to. It has a very different feel. Very unique. So you’d better get to work on it right away.”

  Looking down at the papers in her hand, she was overcome with sudden apprehension. Thinking of who she was replacing…knowing what Victoria would have thought of her for it…she wondered if she’d made a mistake in coming here. She sighed sadly.

  "I feel awful," she said, turning to Thomas. "I feel like I'm stepping in someone else's shoes while they're still wearing them."

  He just smiled kindly. “She’s in California, doing what she wanted to do. She left us in the lurch, and if you don't take her place, someone else will. Out with the old, in with the new."

  She frowned at that. “That seems kind of cold.”

  Henry shrugged. “That’s this business. And by the way, you’ll only have about two weeks to be ready. I hate to rush you, but I can’t keep my patrons in limbo. Like they say, the show must go on.”

  She sat down on the bench, her shoulders slumping at the daunting task before her.

  “Two weeks,” she said. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  He came to stand close to her. She slowly looked up, and saw him smirk. He shook his head.

  "Don't be so insecure. It doesn't suit you. You’re capable of a lot, you know. You just don’t give yourself enough credit.”

  The warmth of his compliment touched her…and as she watched him turn away, a smile slowly crept across her face. With just a few words, he’d eased her nervousness. How did he do it? What magic did he possess, to sweep away her doubts the way he did?

  She watched him as he walked along the front of the stage. He was talking to one of his di
rectors, reviewing a paper in his hand. There was something so beautiful about him. The way he moved, the way he stood…especially in profile. His presence alone was enough to render her speechless. As she had so often, she wondered how she could keep her senses being around him.

  Henry Shaw, she thought. If you only knew the power you have over me. You’d never let me live it down.

  * * * * *

  After such a great day in their company, she was sad at the thought of leaving. She watched Toby as he cleaned his trumpet and put it in its case, preparing to leave for the night. He turned to her with a sweet smile.

  “What are you doing for dinner tonight?” he asked. “If you’re hungry, maybe you and I can grab a bite.”

  She blushed, both honored and stunned at his asking. He was, after all, still just a stranger to her. And yet, part of her wanted to accept the invitation. She liked him very much. But she regretfully declined his offer.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t go. My brother and sister-in-law are taking me out tonight.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe tomorrow night.”

  She smiled shyly. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she shook her head.

  “No thank you. I don’t think my brother would like it. He’s a little bit protective.” At first she was a little worried how he would react. She wondered if he might get mad, but he didn’t. He was kind about it, smiling as he teased her.

  “Have a good time then, for me. I’ll be at home, broken hearted that I wasn’t invited.”

  She laughed, saying goodbye to him as he left with the others.

  She did not see Henry, who had been standing nearby the entire time. When she turned around, she was surprised to find him there, looking at her with a rather dark expression.