Billionaire Baby Daddy: A Second Chance Romance

by Lara Swann

  Right. Normal stuff for the super-rich.

  Somehow, I’d forgotten that side-effect. Though it seems far more pronounced now than I ever remember it.

  “What is it?” Alistair asks, after we’ve ordered our sandwiches and coffees and I can’t stop looking around uneasily.

  “I just…” I lean forward a little, glancing around the small room and feeling like I’m being ridiculous. “It just feels like people keep looking at us.”

  “Oh…yeah.” He coughs a little, somehow managing to look a little embarrassed before irritation crosses his features, and he glares around the room. “Those fucking interviews I did. Ever since then…people have been paying a little more attention than I’d like.”

  “The ones on TV?” I ask.

  “Yeah - and magazines, and flash news, and…ugh, believe me, that’s the last thing I want to talk about right now.”

  “I didn’t think it seemed like you - to do stuff like that.” I can’t help the small smile that comes to my face.

  I’m not sure whether it’s because I find his familiar attitude amusing, or I’m secretly pleased that I was right about that.

  “It isn’t.” He grimaces. “And it was a mistake. But since the company went public, things have been a little different, and we’re trying new things. This one is not what I’d call a success.”

  “It seemed pretty successful to me - you certainly had the interviewer drooling over you.” I give him an amused look, but find myself regretting the comment almost immediately.

  Now I’m wondering about whether they slept together again.

  And why I even care.

  “It’s left me with media stalkers and—wait, you saw it?”

  “Err…yeah.” I admit, wondering whether he thinks I’m stalking him or something. “It just came on. It was…strange, seeing you after so long, and I was curious…”

  “Well.” He says, and his irritated expression smooths into a little smile. The kind I remember so well. The secretive, special one that was all for me. “Maybe it wasn’t all bad, then.”

  I can’t help it. I blush, and my eyes skid away from his as I try not to linger on that too long.

  I don’t want to work out what he means by it.

  Our coffee arrives a moment later, and I let out a small breath of relief at the natural interruption.

  Once the waitress disappears again though, we’re left looking at each other over our unnecessarily fancy coffees, and all I can think about is how we used to do this casually…but that was so long ago now. Everything has changed.

  And I have no idea what to say to him.

  He seems to have the same problem, because for a long moment we just play with the too-hot-to-drink coffee and try to sneak glances at each other.

  So stupid. It’s like I’m back in college or something.

  But there’s just…so much that’s happened…

  Too much in between us, and nothing at all.

  “So…how’ve you been, Leah?” Alistair finally asks, and it’s impossible to escape the feeling that those strong, gray eyes are looking right into me.

  I shrug a little.

  What can I say?

  It’s been hard and crap and I’ve barely scraped by? My family abandoned me, and I’ve been raising your daughter on two dead-end jobs, cheap food and in a tired, cramped apartment?

  Yeah, no thanks.

  “I’ve been okay.” I say instead. It’s not like he really wants to know, anyway. “How about you?”

  Except I don’t want to ask that either - I know what he’s been up to.

  Strings of women, high class parties, booze and drugs, I imagine. All while launching his business empire and making the kind of fortune in his sleep that I probably wouldn’t even be able to imagine.

  “Not much, I guess. Just work - you know, the same stuff as before. All work, not much else. Nothing’s really changed for me.”

  I can’t help it, I raise an eyebrow.

  Sure, his version of everything he’s accomplished is ‘not much’. Of course that’s what Alistair Sinclair would think. Nothing was ever quite enough for him.

  “Just work?” I ask instead. “I don’t remember it ever being like that for you - you never seemed to have a problem with all work back then.”

  “Yeah, that’s true.” He shrugs, glancing down at his coffee before meeting my eyes again, and the sparkle there catches me for a moment. “Though I remember a few well-timed breaks.”

  “Hm.”

  I give a decided non-answer, refusing to play that game - even if his words bring back more than I want to admit to.

  Which was no doubt his aim in the first place. Damn guy can’t switch off seduction for anything.

  “But hey, maybe I’m changing.” He says, his tone lighter now as he gives me a flash of a smile. “I was even thinking just this morning that maybe I needed a holiday.”

  “A holiday? You? That is extreme.” I tease, his comment getting a reluctant smile out of me.

  But then we’re back to just looking at each other, the conversation lapsing again.

  “Where were you thinking of going?” I finally ask, before that starts bothering me again.

  Except I don’t want to do small talk either. It’s fake and stupid, and it’s not like we’re casual acquaintances or something.

  “I hadn’t exactly got that far - it was just a passing thought.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  Silence. Again.

  Damn it.

  What the hell are we even doing here?

  Fuck it. That’s the only question that makes any damn sense. So I go right ahead and ask it.

  “Alistair…what are we doing here? Why are we…doing this?” I gesture vaguely at the cafe around us. “I have no idea what to say to you. It’s been too long, and there’s too much…what do we even have to talk about with each other?”

  He looks at me for a long moment, as if he hadn’t noticed the uncomfortable silences at all, and I almost think there’s a hint of sadness in those those deep, gray eyes.

  Then his expression shifts, and that idea disappears as he leans forward and smiles invitingly at me.

  “Tell me about Maddie?” It’s not quite a question, and I’m surprised at the quiet yearning there.

  It makes my stomach twist, but…not in a bad way. Instead, I can’t help but smile back.

  He’s right about that - the one common thread still binding us.

  And, let’s be honest, Maddie is my life. I’m not sure I’ve ever passed up an opportunity to talk about her.

  So I do as he asks.

  I start talking about her. My daughter.

  Our daughter.

  I have no idea where to start, so I just dive in at the middle, with anything that comes to mind.

  And when he just sits and listens, watching me with an awed expression and his eyes lighting up at what I say, it slowly becomes easier.

  I tell him the funny stories first.

  The time she climbed into the toilet and got stuck after refusing to use the ‘little girl’s potty’. The phase that drove me crazy during her terrible twos where she was taking her clothes off everywhere and anywhere - grocery stores, public parks, you name it. And her habit of over-sharing what I’ve been doing with anyone who’ll listen - the moment she announced with a giggle to the store clerk that ‘We’re buying things to help Mommy’s diarrhea - there was soo much poop this morning and it went everywhere…’ was the one time I really started questioning my decision to always give her a real answer to a question.

  Our food arrives just as I’m finishing that one, and I don’t miss the look I get from the waitress as I quote my little girl.

  Sure, if Maddie isn’t here, you can embarrass yourself easily enough…

  I don’t care though. All those fraught, hectic, difficult moments of wondering what the hell I’m doing seem better now that I can laugh about them with someone.

  And Alistair is the perfect audience - smiling and l
aughing at all the right moments, squeezing my hand appreciatively halfway through. And I can tell he wants to know. With anyone else, there’s always an obvious point where you realize they’re done listening to you talk about your kid, but with him…

  Maybe it’s stupid, and maybe it’s far too early to say, but it already seems like he’s got the kind of interest that only…well, that only her father would.

  Don’t go there.

  But it’s hard not to think that way when I see his eyes gleaming like this. I’m not sure I’ve ever quite seen Alistair - the Alistair I knew - like this.

  Still, I cut the stories about poop short - my god, do I have more than anyone would ever want to hear - as we start eating our sandwiches. Instead, I tell him other things…little things about Maddie now, instead of just the mayhem she’s caused me so far.

  I tell him that she’s clever and funny and curious. I catch myself just before I start mentioning the little things I’ve noticed - that she’s got his eyes, that she gets the same serious expression as he does sometimes, and has the same stubborn determination. Or, hell, maybe that comes from both of us. But I’m grateful that he doesn’t ask - he doesn’t make it awkward. He just lets me talk.

  It’s mostly sentimental, stupid stuff - but somehow, as we’re speaking, I feel like he’s the one person who won’t be inwardly rolling their eyes at yet another proud Mom talking about the ways their kid is special.

  I leave out the things I don’t want to admit to him, not yet - maybe not ever.

  The kind of life we’ve been living.

  The sort of places I’ve taken her, the things she’s seen in her brief four years that I’d rather she didn’t have to.

  The way she worries about me.

  It’s silly, maybe, but I’ve spent so long trying to be a good Mom - that’s all I have now - and I’m not ready to tell my kid’s father the small ways I’ve failed. Especially not when they’re all ways that he - and a little bit of money - could’ve fixed in an instant.

  And that’ll be his first question.

  Why didn’t you come to me? Why did you put our kid through that?

  I try to shrug off that feeling, and for the most part, I succeed.

  And I enjoy the lunch far more than I’d expected. By the time we’re done with our sandwiches and coffees, and I’ve refused his offer of a third cup several times over, I feel warm and comfortable around him again.

  Different from how it used to be, of course, but still…he was right. We can talk again. We can be friendly.

  It’s a nice feeling.

  I don’t know where this is going to go, and I keep telling myself that it’s far too soon to expect anything. I don’t know what Alistair may think in the end - this is all new, it’s a shock, he might meet Maddie and decide it’s all too much. And I need to protect her more than anything.

  But…this has gone better than I’d ever imagined.

  And if we can get on, even just a little, then maybe we can find a way to give Maddie everything she should have.

  A Mommy and a Daddy. And a better lifestyle than just Mommy can offer.

  We’ll see.

  “Thanks for this, Alistair.” I finally say, and I mean it. “It’s been…really nice, just to talk.”

  He smiles, openly and genuine. No games. No artifice. And my heart squeezes in response.

  “It’s been…perfect, just to hear you talk about her. Maddie. My daughter.” He shakes his head again, wonder still there in his eyes. “Thank you for giving me the chance to start getting to know her.”

  I smile back, even as dual prongs of warmth and guilt flicker through me. It’s impossible not to also think about how I denied him that chance - for so long.

  “I’ll call you with a time and place to meet us both.” I say, gathering my things together with a reluctance that surprises me.

  I don’t quite want to leave.

  “Soon?” He asks, and the eagerness there is impossible to ignore.

  It makes me smile again, and I nod.

  “Soon.” I promise.

  He rises with me, and before I can give him the quick wave I’d already decided on - he pulls me into a hug.

  Not a casual friendly one either.

  His powerful arms wrap around me, taking control in that instinctive way of his and pulling our bodies into each other. I tense, frozen in his arms for a moment, before I can’t help relax into the power and heat around me - propelled by some force of memory if nothing else.

  His hands feel hot against my shoulders, and the way he steps just a little closer places one leg almost between my own. My pussy sparks with sudden interest and just as I’m about to pull away, he murmurs in my ear.

  “It’s good to see you again, Leah. I missed you.”

  Then he releases me, before I can object or answer or even think, and I’m left standing on what suddenly seems like very thin ground - with that almost-sultry whisper shivering down my spine.

  I meet his gaze - dark and ethereal again now, smoldering gray clouds covering the warmth and openness of only a few minutes before.

  And then I leave without saying anything else. There’s nothing to say. Not even to the idea that he missed me.

  This isn’t about any of that, and it’s not going to be - this is about Maddie.

  And when it comes to Maddie…

  A small smile slides onto my face, growing without permission until I’m probably outright grinning.

  When it comes to her, this might have worked. My crazy stunt - quitting my jobs, uprooting us and plunging the last of my money into this insane venture to try and find her father - it might actually…work.

  I walk away from his office block, unable to believe how much lighter and freer I feel.

  Hope is bubbling up in my chest, and no matter how I try and caution myself - I can’t dampen it.

  For the first time I can remember, there’s an actual reason to hope.

  Chapter Five

  Alistair

  I walk into my office building with a strong, purposeful stride, but underneath it, there’s a sharp edge of tension that is slowly driving me crazy.

  My mind has been racing all night, and I feel exhausted from the endless circles my thoughts have been chasing each other in - but even so, that can’t match the nervous, excited energy pulsing through me.

  The kind I haven’t felt since…hell, I’m not even sure those initial big-stakes business deals can compare.

  I’m meeting my daughter today.

  Like a beat thumping through my mind, that constant reminder. That thought coming back again and again.

  Today.

  It’s happening today.

  Of course, not right now. Later today. This afternoon.

  Which only means…most of a day’s worth of second-guessing, hesitation and doubt.

  My mouth curves up at the idea. Things I’ve never felt in business for a second.

  If only your business partners could see you now…

  I already know I’m not going to get any work done today - just like I didn’t get any sleep last night. I’m just here because it’s something to do - because pacing around my empty apartment would be worse.

  In fact, I’ve barely been working or sleeping since Leah walked into my office two days ago. It’s been impossible.

  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her, about all the things we did together so many years ago…and about Maddie.

  The idea I have a daughter is just…fuck.

  Terrifying.

  But also…something else. So many other things.

  Exciting and thrilling. Heart-warming and devastating.

  All these years…

  I’m trying not to think about that. About what the kid I never knew might think of me - for not being there, for not knowing. About all those missed opportunities to bond with her, to have her look up and call me ‘Daddy’, to have her like me just because I’m there…

  I can feel the lump rising in my throat, and
have to force my mind away from it all - yet again.

  I never knew I could feel this sentimental about anything, and I haven’t even met the girl yet.

  It doesn’t matter. In my mind, she’s already perfect. Just the very idea of her.

  I never really thought about kids - I assumed they’d happen one day, the natural progression of things, but…it was never relevant. If you’d asked me what I thought of them a week ago, I probably would’ve shrugged. Indifferent. No opinion.

  Now…I feel like I’ve found the thing I hadn’t even realized I was missing.

  Someone to care for, to raise, to show the world to.

  Nothing I ever thought I would’ve wanted. But now…

  You haven’t even met her yet.

  I don’t know why that doesn’t matter. But it doesn’t.

  I was pissed off when Leah first told me, but even then…even then I knew.

  Fuck.

  I run a hand through my hair, messing up the style I spent too long adjusting this morning, and try to tell my fucked-up mind to be quiet.

  When it comes to business deals, it’s never been like this. I’ve always been able to think coolly and calmly. The only thing that ever made me feel this way was…Leah.

  Right. Double fuck.

  But as much as I’m cursing up and down right now, underneath it all - it’s a happy thrill. An excitement that’s been missing since she left. The chance to see her again, to know her, and even more…Maddie.

  I take a deep breath as the elevator finally reaches my floor, turning from where I was pacing inside it - unable to keep still for even a moment - to walk straight out and down to my office.

  “Okay. What’s going on?” Meredith squints at me from where she’s sitting behind her desk, cradling an extra-large cup of coffee, and I break into a smile as I see her.

  Thank god.

  “Oh, thank fuck you’re back.” I don’t bother trying to conceal my pleasure. “If I had to deal with another of those temp girls for one more day…”

  “More like if they had to deal with you.” She shakes her head at me, amused.

  “Have you sorted out the mess they left yet?”

  “It’s not even 8am, Alistair.” She gives me an arch look.