by Lara Swann
I nod. “I wouldn’t want to be. But you’ve both had more than enough to say about my issues with control.”
Emma snorts, then claps Mathilda on the back. “Thank god I’ve got an ally with that, now. You might actually listen to us.”
“I am listening to you.” I say, smiling ruefully. “I haven’t complained about anything for…ohh, a few days? That’s good, right?”
Emma rolls her eyes at me. “What’s good is that sexy billionaire of yours, for putting up with all your shit.”
I shake my head, nudging her, but I don’t mind the teasing - especially since she may have a point.
“Yeah, I’d like to hear a bit more about that.” Mathilda grins. “Have you got any sexy stories out of her yet, Emma?”
“Noo…” Emma says, sounding almost as infuriated by that as she was by Dylan. “Have you?”
I groan. Maybe introducing these two was a bad idea.
“No…but I saw what she looked like after she got back from that date the other night. That was almost hot enough for—”
“Okay, okay!” I interrupt. “You can’t talk about that, Tilly! God.”
“That good, huh?” Emma grins at me, nudging me back.
I can’t help the way my cheeks redden, just a little - and both of them notice, damn them. It was good. Like fucking fantastic out of this world good. The same as just about everything else Alistair does to me.
“Yeah, okay. It was good. Happy now?”
They make pointed remarks about how they’re not quite happy, no, but I ignore them.
“Alright, tell us something else, then - how was the romantic date apart from all of that? Everything still going well?”
Okay, that’s a question I can answer. And I have no problem doing so.
I smile almost instinctively, and don’t miss the look they share. Yeah, I know I’m dreamy as fuck and having a good time, but…hell, I’m not going to feel bad about that.
“Yeah, it is. I think I’m really falling for him, guys. The date was just…perfect. Like, the most beautiful night - and, I mean, he’s even started talking about more already—”
I don’t quite mean to let that much slip out, but it does. Maybe his comments about marriage and kids have been on my mind recently. Maybe his comments about a son.
Damn bastard knew that too, when he mentioned it. That I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it.
They hound me for details - of which I have none…but I have a fair few fantasies. And we laugh about the whole dream - the big white wedding, the lavish lifestyle, the kids running around…
“Okay, this is unfair.” Mathilda says, after a while. “It can’t all be this perfect, Leah. You gotta tell us some of the shit too, or it’s just going to look like you’re trying to cover up for his insanely bad habits, like…snoring, or picking his nose, or—”
“Ew, I do not want to be thinking about that.” Emma laughs. “Don’t ruin it, Tilly, I like picturing him as a sexy beast of a man.”
“I don’t think you’re meant to tell me that.” I say, but I laugh too, and then I think. “No bad habits, not that I’ve noticed anyway. He does seem pretty stressed about work at the moment - it all seems like it’s been a bit ‘off’ recently—”
Mathilda bursts out laughing. “Okay, you really have made it. Sitting around, talking about your guy’s job and stress and how it’s all affecting him…yeah, you guys might as well be married.”
“And also, you should probably take up a hobby.” Emma chips in. “When all you have to talk about is someone else’s job—”
“You were the ones who asked!” I object, but I’m grinning. “I do need to think of something to do, though, you’re right. It feels like things are finally settling down a bit.”
“Well, if it helps - you should probably be checking out schools for Maddie. I’ve been thinking about it for Tommy and—”
“Oh god, you’re right.” I groan. “That was why I came here in the first place. We haven’t even talked about any of that.”
Emma squeezes my shoulder. “Well, you’ve got time.”
“Some.” Mathilda adds, not at all reassuring. “Though, I guess he’s crazy rich. Maybe that’s enough to make a few exceptions. But talking of time…it’s getting late. Shall we bribe the kids with ice cream to leave the park?”
Emma bursts out laughing, looking at me.
“Is that why you always suggest stuff like that, Leah? Straight-up bribery.” She shakes her head, giving Mathilda an appreciative glance. “At least someone tells it how it is.”
I grin. “Well, I wanted to keep some ounce of self-respect. Being manipulated by a four-year-old isn’t the most flattering thing - but I’ll let you in on all the secrets when you have a kid of your own.”
“Oh god.” She says. “I can’t deal with that thought right now.”
We stand up, still laughing together, and call Maddie and Tommy back over to us. They complain, as predicted - until we suggest ice cream, in which case they’re more than happy to walk over to that end of the park…and they’ll be far too distracted by the ice cream to notice we’re leaving.
It isn’t until we get to the ice cream stand that I hear the commotion.
“Hey! Hey, it’s you!”
I blink, looking around to see what’s going on - only for a guy with a camera to come jogging towards me, snapping photos.
“What the—”
“You’re dating Alistair Sinclair, right? What’s your name? Who’s the kid - is that his kid? Does he have two? What’s—”
The questions come rapid fire, and it takes me a moment to even realize they’re directed at me - or work out what’s going on. And when I do, my stomach drops to the ground.
I turn immediately, putting myself between Maddie and the cameras, and I can feel my blood chilling as she looks up at me, her face scrunching up.
“What’s happening, Mommy?”
“—what’s it like dating him? Where have you been? Are you with him for the money? Is—”
“Shhh.” I say, picking her up quickly, and looking around in panic for Emma and Mathilda.
Mathilda is trying to deal with something similar with Tommy, but Emma…I can’t see Emma.
And then suddenly, I can.
She’s charging towards the guy - and the crowd that’s started to form, yelling.
“Hey! Get the hell away from here! It’s none of your business, you asshole - no comment! No comment - leave us alone!”
My heart squeezes, and I thank god for Emma - for the distraction if nothing else.
She glances back at us both, and cuts off her tirade to yell. “Get out of here, both of you - jump in a taxi or something and go home.”
Then she turns back to the reporter, I grab Maddie and throw her onto my side - then start running, in the opposite direction to Mathilda, hoping that they’ll lose interest in her and she and Tommy will get out of here without being caught up in any of this.
I’m not fast with Maddie on my shoulder, and she’s started crying now, even as I try to tell her everything will be alright - something I’m not at all sure of myself. But Emma’s distraction seems to draw the crowd’s attention, and the few shouts I do get are starting to fade behind me. My heart is racing as I get to the edge of the park, wondering what the hell is going on.
I find the nearest taxi and almost run into the road hailing it - then jump in, completely out of breath and with a screaming child. He sees Maddie and gives me a dubious look, and I’m pretty sure he’s about to kick us out.
I don’t hesitate - I offer a crazy amount of money for him to take me home and not ask any questions.
It’s the first time I’ve been truly grateful for Alistair’s fortune.
* * *
As soon as Alistair hears what happened, he comes home within the hour.
I spend the whole of that time trying to convince Maddie that nothing is wrong, and that I’m sorry I scared her, and she doesn’t need to worry - even though
I’m still shaking.
I’m not sure why my reaction is so violent but nothing like this has ever happened to me before. And it was my daughter that he was taking pictures of.
The moment Alistair walks in the door, he comes straight over to me - and then his arms are around me, my face is buried in his chest and I finally, finally feel like it all might be okay. Like it’s possible to feel safe and secure again.
“I’m so sorry, Leah.” The pain in his voice goes straight through me, and I pull back to look up at him.
The air feels heavy between us, and the weight in my eyes is mirrored in his. There’s so much I want to say to him, to discuss, to work out…and I wish we could just get straight to that. But Maddie is still upset, still fussing, and just these brief moments disturb her again.
We turn to her without saying anything else, a silent agreement. What we need to talk about can come later.
And Alistair seems to have the same quasi-magical affect on her as he did on me - she stills in his arms, and some of her fretting subsides. Though she won’t stop asking questions, and the way her eyes dart between us tell us that even though we’re trying to reassure her, she knows something is wrong.
It feels like it takes a long time to settle her - but in the end, pizza and her favorite cartoons finally seem to relax her. We cuddle with her on the couch for what feels like forever, but eventually she’s distracted enough that when we start clearing the pizza away, she doesn’t object.
We stand together in the kitchen, slightly obscured by the central island counter - and then Alistair pulls me into his arms again. He strokes my hair, and I can feel the way his body is shaking too. Whether from anger or fear, I’m not sure, but I wrap my arms around him too, and we squeeze each other tight.
“I’m so sorry, Leah.” He repeats. “God, what happened because of me - because of everyone’s interest in me, it’s just…so messed up.”
“Shh, don’t be.” I say immediately, looking up and brushing my lips over his. “It’s not your fault - those journalists are fucking bastards, and you can’t help that your company attracts interest. That you attract interest.”
“It’s all those stupid interviews I did when we went public.” He closes his eyes. “But I thought everyone had lost interest by now - I didn’t think they’d run a story on you. And I never thought they’d come after you like that.”
“It was so fucking scary.” I admit, appreciating the warmth and strength of his body more than I can say.
“I know.” He strokes my hair again, kissing the top of my head. “I’m so sorry. I thought - I was hoping - the story about you would die before it gained interest. I didn’t think it would go anywhere.”
I pause for a moment, then step back, my brow furrowing in confusion. “Wait - what story? What do you mean?”
He sighs, running his hand through his hair. “They were running that stuff in trashy gossip mags - I saw it the other day, but I was sure it would die—”
“Wait, what?” Some part of me freezes. “You knew?! You knew that they were interested in us?”
I try to keep my voice down, for Maddie’s sake, but I can’t believe it.
“Yeah.” He says, his voice heavy.
“And you didn’t say anything?”
“I didn’t want to worry you, Leah.”
I stare at him. “You understand how fucking stupid that was, right?”
His jaw hardens, I can see it in him - the defensive obstinacy. And, with my heart beating wildly, I wonder whether he’s going to deny it. But he doesn’t - I’m right, and he knows it.
After a moment that jawline relaxes, and he sighs again, shaking his head.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
If I’d known…
I would have been more careful. I would’ve been on my guard. Something could have happened today - it didn’t, but anything could have happened.
I have to know these things - I have to know what’s going on - so I can look after Maddie.
My vision is blurring, and I feel like it’s all about to get too much - but he’s there again, his arms back around me and his lips on my forehead. Part of me - the part that can’t believe he didn’t warn me - wishes that it didn’t feel so fucking good. And I have an instant where I wonder if I’ll want to break away again. But I don’t.
“I’m sorry, Leah.” He murmurs.
I look up at him again - see the hurt there, and force myself to breathe deeply. This is what shit like that is meant to do - separate people, pull them apart. Make them angry and cause drama. I’m not going to let that happen with us.
I lean into him, let myself relax.
“It’s okay.” I say after a long while, then I take another breath and squeeze him again. “It’s okay, Alistair.”
He tilts my chin up, and I meet his gaze - as raw and emotive as my own.
“But…promise me you won’t do that again, okay? You won’t ever not tell me something, or try to protect me like that…I need to know. For Maddie. For myself. I should have known about it, Alistair.”
He takes a deep breath of his own, and nods, brushing my tears away with his thumb.
“I promise. You’re right - it was stupid. I just…I so badly didn’t want it to mean anything.”
I nod. I can understand that. I can.
I just can’t live with the idea that it might harm our kid.
“So…what do we do?” I finally ask.
That’s the big question. Right now, I don’t really want to leave the house - and that’s a horrible way to feel.
“It will die down.” He says, softly. “And I’m going to find a way to deal with it all - to fix the whole situation. It’s a stupid five minutes of fame thing - it won’t last.”
I bite my lip, but I believe him. This stuff never lasts. It just sucks to be the center of it when it hits.
“And what do we do until then?”
He hesitates, as if he doesn’t quite want to suggest it.
“It might be better if you and Maddie stay inside, just while they’re in a frenzy about it - it’d probably make sense to keep a low profile.”
That’s exactly what I was thinking. I don’t want to risk it - don’t want to subject Maddie to going out there and facing that again.
I nod. “You don’t think it’ll be for long, right?”
“No.” He says. “It never is. The interest will die. It will get better. I just think you should be careful - maybe for a day or two.”
“Okay.” I agree, and the wave of relief that hits surprises me.
I needed to know what we were going to do - and I needed him.
I needed us to decide together, as a family. And now…now it feels like it’ll be okay. In a few days.
“I’ll take care of you both.” He murmurs, kissing me again. “I promise.”
I lean into him, letting his warmth surround me, and the surge of gratitude I feel just for his presence almost staggers me. Even though, without him, we probably wouldn’t be in this situation.
I’d still rather be right here with him than living without these problems, without him.
Somehow, I still feel safer this way.
Which might be ridiculous, but it’s true.
And I spend the whole night in his arms, knowing with the kind of deep certainty that’s beyond any thought or feeling - he’s going to keep his promise.
He’s going to take care of us.
It will blow over. Things will get better.
Chapter Twenty
Alistair
Over the next couple of days, things only get worse.
I can feel the storm building around me at work - furtive glances, not-quite-comments, and an uneasy feeling stalking the place. After what happened in his office, Barkley has mostly been avoiding me - but I have no doubt that the rumors are circling. Whether they’re prompted by him, or just general gossip, I don’t know.
But throwing a chair across the room doesn’t put me on the reasonab
le side of the argument - if people even know what it’s about. And the articles coming out don’t help at all. Despite the fact that I never asked for any of that, the obvious conclusion is that it’s my fault that we’re getting so much negative press at the moment.
The stock price is sinking with each new story, and everyone is getting nervous - investors, shareholders, potential partners and other businesses…even our god-damn employees.
When I do see Barkley, he’s sensible enough not to bring up Leah again - not in the same way he did before. But he’s taken to making little comments about me taking a step back - spending more time with my family, an argument that only infuriates me more - and that maybe it would be useful if I wasn’t such a visible part of the company right now.
All sounding perfectly reasonable and sensible, but…conveniently placing him in the lead role for the business. Sure, he talks about it being temporary - just until all these stories die down - but we both know the truth. If I step back, there’s no easy return to my position. And I’ll be damned if I leave the company I created.
Not to mention - if he’s talking to me about such things…I also know he’ll be talking to everyone else. And at the moment their opinions won’t be hard to sway. There’s a part of me that wonders whether he did this deliberately - put me in the media spotlight originally to wait for a chance when it might all go wrong. He couldn’t have predicted Leah or Maddie, of course, but…something would’ve come along, eventually. Or he could have invented it.
I’m cursing myself for ever agreeing to any of this - the public company, becoming the figurehead for it and doing all those interviews. And maybe most of all…the relationship with Barkley that I’ve never quite had enough reason to sever.
The damned thing is…if this was just a business takeover, just some plot to deal with…I could do it. I’ve always been more ruthless, more cunning than Barkley ever could. I’ve always been willing to give up everything to win - and he hasn’t. He’s too attached to the money. But I’ve always been more attached to the business.
