For Her Protection

by Lauren Giordano

  “Good.” It had grown to the point that she’d looked forward to disappointing Ian. She’d known virtually from the start of their relationship that Ian Dunstable was not the sort of man she wished to marry. Lord, the very thought gave her the shudders. Why, she’d have morphed into a stilted British housewife in no time at all, expected to lunch at the bloody club with Rosemary twice a week.

  Ian hadn’t seemed to notice he was exceedingly dull and that she was exceedingly bored. She’d begun to wonder just what it would take for him to realize they had absolutely nothing in common. After six agonizing months in his company, she’d finally accepted that, clearly, Ian would never reach that conclusion. Because in his mind—and her meddling mother’s—compatibility and marriage did not necessarily have to coexist.

  Luke glanced at the U.K. soccer logo, shrugged and pulled it on over his head. “It fits pretty decent.” He stretched his arms to loosen it up. “Thanks.”

  “You’re very welcome.” At least someone appreciated her efforts.

  “Now can we finally get going?”

  She closed the trunk and saluted. “Yes, sir.”

  Luke waited, damn patiently he thought, while she gathered the kids up and got them strapped into their car seats. He wanted to hit the road. His gut was edgy to move and, frankly, the sooner they reached Charlotte, the better. Jillian was too damn appealing. He’d be grateful for some distance. With those big expressive eyes, he didn’t have to be a genius to know what she was feeling. He smiled then. Hell, she pretty much told you. There wasn’t much guessing involved.

  Ian had to be the biggest idiot in all of England. How much would it have hurt to wear the damn stuff she bought? He couldn’t remember the last time Linda’d bought him anything. In the old days she’d gone shopping all the time. But if he’d made the mistake of asking her to pick up some underwear for him, all hell had broken loose. That error in judgment had triggered one of the many “I’m not your servant” lectures.

  Here was a female who actually wanted to buy stuff for her boyfriend. And Sir Wimp was too stupid to appreciate it. Why the hell would a guy risk pissing off his girlfriend? Over clothes? Get real. A free shirt was a free shirt. As long as it wasn’t pink, who gave a rat’s ass what it looked like? His cell phone rang and he pulled it from his belt to check the number. Murphy again.

  “Murph? What’ve you got?” The warm feeling lasted only seconds, his smile fading the moment his brain processed his partner’s words. “Are you sure about that?”

  His heart pumping with certainty, he didn’t wait for the answer Murphy couldn’t yet provide. “We’re leaving now. Once you’ve got it set up, call me later with the directions.” His stomach lurched to DEFCON 2.

  Jillian rounded the car, a question in her eyes. “What is it?”

  “It’s time to go.”

  She glanced up, wary. “What’s wrong?”

  How would he explain it to her? That Murphy’s sixth sense was telling him they were in danger? That one of his informants had just confided that the word on the street was they’d been burned? None of that helped much until he knew who’d sold them out. A million questions sizzled through his brain. Who’d blown their cover? And why? Until they learned the answer to those questions, the only safe thing to do was to keep moving.

  “We need to hit the road,” he explained. “Just as a precaution, Murphy’s arranged a safe house for us to stay in tonight. Then, tomorrow we’ll meet with the Agent in Charge in Charlotte. I told Murphy we’d be there this afternoon.”

  “Why do we need a safe house? Is this a normal procedure?”

  He mentally crossed his fingers. “Just a precaution. We’re all witnesses and until we get everyone in custody, or at least until we get you debriefed, the agency doesn’t want to take any chances.”

  “What else?” Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Is there something you’re not telling me? Because I don’t like not knowing what’s going on.”

  “Nothing. Just a feeling.” How could he tell her when he didn’t know himself? He was beginning to suspect that Mary Poppins had quite a temper when she got riled. If she decided to storm off on her own, he’d be hard-pressed to stop her without any cuffs. And that wouldn’t go over very well with the kids—or the agency. And he sure as hell didn’t have time to go chasing after her if she left. Damn, the mess would just get deeper.

  Murphy was calling in favors left and right. If his suspicions were right and they’d been burned, then he and Murph would have to develop a plan to deal with it. But operating blind was not his specialty. In fact, he sucked at it. He hated surprises. He’d built his entire career around not being blind-sided. He was used to planning every step of the op…running through all the ways their cover might be blown and then mentally prepping a solution for each scenario.

  “Something is wrong. I knew it!”

  He winced when her voice shrilled up an octave and then glanced over his shoulder into the car. The kids were strapped in, waiting to go. James gave him a questioning look. “The kids are watching,” he reminded her.

  “We’re in danger, aren’t we?” She brought a hand up to her forehead. “I’ve already been through one bloody custody battle, and it’s only been a week. If these children get hurt—” Her eyes lasered in on him. “I’m already an unfit mother and I’ve just barely gotten started.”

  A meltdown was the last thing he needed right now. “For Pete’s sake, you’re not an unfit mother. You’re relocating, that’s all.”

  “That’s easy for you to say.”

  “They’re not living in this car,” he reminded. “It’s just a road trip.”

  Her eyes narrowed as she advanced on him and his gut tightened with warning. What now? “Can we please discuss this in the car?”

  Her reaction only confirmed his decision to wait. He couldn’t react when he didn’t know what was going on and he sure as hell didn’t want her going off the deep end. Jillian could wait, he decided, until Murphy had more details. “As soon as I know something, you’ll know something. There’s no need to panic.” Yet.

  She’d begun wringing her hands as their conversation deteriorated. He grabbed them to calm her down. She had the same expression on her face she’d had the previous evening when he’d convinced her to remove a bullet from his ass. “Jill—I promise I’ll protect you. There’s no need to panic. If I sense any danger, I’ll be the first one to get you out of the way. The last thing I want is for any of you to get hurt.”

  She took a deep breath and released it slowly. “All right. I—I won’t panic. But you have to promise me that you’ll keep me informed of what the hell is going on.”

  “I will.” He relaxed a notch. Crisis averted. Then she surprised him, anger flaring in the smoky depths of her eyes.

  “I don’t like secrets,” she blurted out. “I’m not made of bloody glass. I’m so tired of everyone always thinking they need to protect me. I—I can handle bad news, dammit.”

  The frustrated words hung in the air between them and he wondered again what her life had been like. Smothering. Overprotected. And he wondered why. “Uh, right. I never thought you couldn’t handle it.” Dismay trailed across her features and he was left with the distinct impression she regretted her outburst.

  “All right, then. Just as long as we’ve got that settled.” She tugged her hands free of his and jerked open the car door. “Let’s go.”

  “So, how far is it to Charlotte?” Jilly finally broke the silence in the station wagon. Sarah and Samuel had gone back to sleep and James had slipped his headphones on, his head bobbing back and forth to the music.

  “Couple or three hours, give or take a little.” Luke yawned and stretched back in the seat. She watched him roll his shoulders in an attempt to stay limber. Along with his magnificently shaped butt, the rest of him appeared to be in equally prime physical condition.

  “Would you like me to drive a while? I just realized that you’ve been at the wheel since yesterday.”

 
; He gave her a slow appraising look. She noticed he’d been wary of her since her stunt in the park. She knew she’d been playing with fire by flirting with him. But something about him seemed to push her buttons. He’d stared at her with a combination of disbelief and perhaps just a little frustration before giving in to the humor that never seemed to be far from the surface. And his long, slow smile had made her stomach tingle with a sudden awareness that hadn’t been there before.

  “I guess that would be okay.” He glanced at the mile marker on the nearly deserted road and slowed down considerably before moving to the shoulder. “Actually, I wouldn’t mind riding shotgun for a little while. Things seem pretty quiet. Maybe I could catch a quick nap. I’m probably gonna want to stay up tonight.”

  “I can’t imagine anything’s going to happen now,” she said hopefully.

  “Yeah, it’s been three whole hours since those guys tried to take us out.”

  Ignoring his sarcasm, she tried again. “Still, I’d feel better if I didn’t think you had been stuck with all the driving.” She waited for him to stop completely before she unlocked her door and slid out.

  “You sure you feel all right? You landed pretty hard back there.”

  She glanced at him and was surprised to find that he genuinely appeared to be serious. “No, I’m fine. Just a little sore, actually. It’s really only my pride that got bruised.”

  “Hey, you were trying to do the right thing. It’s good that you’re protective of them.”

  “Yes, well, they haven’t had a lot of that, I’m afraid.” She adjusted the mirrors and fastened her seat belt before she glanced over at him.

  “I take it they had a pretty tough life with your sister?” Luke glanced over his shoulder to confirm that James was still listening to music. Then he settled back in the seat and carefully adjusted the side mirror.

  “Yes.” She swallowed hard. “Annie, my sister, had a substance abuse problem.”

  “Drugs or alcohol?”

  She glanced over at him and then guiltily forced her gaze back to the road. “Both actually. For a long time. But it was the drugs that finally killed her.” She took a deep breath and let it out. Still not quite sure she wouldn’t cry, she bit down on her lip. Luke waited patiently for her to continue. “She left home when she turned eighteen. Came over here.” She shook her head. “I don’t even know how she managed to secure passage. I was only thirteen.”

  “That must’ve been tough,” he murmured.

  She nodded, not taking her gaze from the road. “My mum…she sort of…gave up on her. I—I didn’t. I guess I was too young to know how serious the problem was.” She checked her speed and slowed down a little. “I came over here a few years ago when Samuel was born. I wanted to give Annie a hand, you know? Help her with James and the baby.”

  She blinked back the tears, determined not to fall apart in front of this enigmatic stranger. “I was finally old enough to do something. I was working. I had money. I was twenty-four and I guess I thought I could fix everything. Bring the whole family back together.”

  Luke’s lips tightened and he turned to stare at her. She sensed that he already knew it would end badly. “Of course that didn’t happen. She was much worse by that time. Far worse than she’d been with James—”

  “Where’s the kids’ father during all of this?”

  She felt the blush creep up her cheekbones and she resolutely kept her eyes on the road. “They, um, Annie…sort of…had trouble settling down with one man.” Her gaze drifted to the rearview mirror where she checked on James again. She lowered her voice just the same. “Each of the kids has a different father. None of them ever stayed around long enough to meet their children.”

  “That’s not uncommon, you know.”

  The intensity of his gaze sent awareness crawling through her system. Her pulse quickened and she swallowed hard around the sudden urge to flee. Something told her to keep her eyes on the road. Even a glimmer of compassion from Luke would have her weeping.

  “Junkies throw everything away, eventually. Their morality goes first, followed by their sense of protection for themselves and even their kids. Then their pride. Soon, nothing matters except the next fix.”

  She risked a sideways glance and was shocked to see the grim expression in his eyes. “I realize that now. Annie was so far gone when I was here last.” She shuddered as she remembered the squalor she’d found her sister living in. “But she still had pride. She wouldn’t let me help…wouldn’t let me help James and the baby.”

  She startled when Luke gave her arm a little squeeze. “I— I couldn’t believe what she’d become. Yet, she still fought me.”

  “What happened?”

  She winced. “She disappeared. With James and Samuel. She refused to let me stay with her. And when I came back the next day with food and supplies, she’d taken off.” She reached up to wipe her eyes. “I stayed for a week—came back each day—and she still wouldn’t come home. I knew she was somewhere close by.” She shook her head derisively. “She was probably watching me.”

  “Hey, you still okay to drive?”

  Luke’s whispered voice reached out to caress her. She heard the concern, heard just a glimmer of caring, of compassion, for what she’d experienced. “I—I’m fine. Really. You must see this sort of thing every day.”

  “Unfortunately, I see it everywhere. Most people have the illusion that drugs are a problem of poverty, a lower-class issue that doesn’t apply to them. They think that way until they find it right under their own noses. Drugs aren’t selective in who they destroy.”

  He shifted again in his seat, favoring his left side, she noticed.

  “Hell, in some of the jungles I’ve been sent to, the drug runners are treated like gods. They’re the saviors who rescue the local farmers from a life of poverty.”

  “My mum…I guess she could see that. Annie gave her so much trouble before she finally left…got kicked out of schools all over England. I guess I wasn’t really aware of how bad the situation was.”

  “How could you? You were just a kid.”

  “I always thought Mum was too harsh about the whole thing,” she admitted. “I wanted her to fly to America and bring Annie back. But she never—”

  “You can’t rationalize the problem, Jilly. Once drugs take over, nothing else matters. Nothing. Not even family.” He turned in the passenger seat to smile at James who stopped bopping long enough to wave at him. “I bet you felt differently about her when you visited a few years ago, right?”

  She nodded reluctantly. “I was angry…and frustrated. Here I’d spent all that money to come over and then she took off on me. It was as though she’d become a complete stranger.”

  “What you’re doing now for these kids is incredible. You can’t change the past, but you can help direct the future. Be thankful they’re young enough to forget where they’ve been.” Luke yawned and closed his eyes as he settled back in his seat.

  “Luke?” She glanced over and was surprised at how much younger he looked when he relaxed.

  “Mmm?”

  “Thanks for listening. I appreciate it.”

  “Stay on this road. Watch for signs that say Charlotte.” He folded his arms across his chest and sank deeper into the seat. “Shouldn’t be more ’n a couple hours or so. And don’t let me sleep too long.”

  Well, they’d bloody well gone more than two hours. And no Charlotte. Jillian bit her lip in frustration and glanced over at Luke. He was still sound asleep, sprawled out in the seat next to her. And it had been nearly three hours.

  She’d seen signs for the damn place hours ago. And she’d kept going and going and…nothing. It was as though the city didn’t exist. They were still on the endlessly boring backroad they’d been on all day. Were there any towns in this blasted state?

  “Luke?”

  She rolled her shoulders and winced at the stiffness in her neck. How the heck would she ever drive all the way to New Hampshire? Already she was nearly cripp
led and they were probably a million miles from their final destination. Perhaps she’d settle somewhere else…somewhere closer. She could simply call Dartmouth and inform them that she’d had a change of plans. Either that, or maybe she’d fly the children the rest of the way. Her savings would take a bashing, but it would bloody well be worth it.

  She’d have to wake Luke. They were nearly out of gas and she had to pee again. James had fallen asleep out of sheer boredom, but Samuel was awake and making noises about being hungry again. Her stomach tightened a notch when she heard Sarah start to softly fuss. Lord, there wasn’t much time before that noise became a full-blown wail.

  “Luke, wake up.” She reached out to shake him and he came awake with a start, bolting up in his seat.

  “What? Where are we?”

  “Good question. I’m beginning to think Charlotte doesn’t exist.”

  Luke sat up straighter and glanced at his watch. “Where the hell are we? Why’d you let me sleep so long?”

  Her eyes narrowed with frustration and the pressure of her nearly full bladder. “Look, don’t start lecturing me. I stayed on this road just like you instructed. It simply has to be the wrong one because Charlotte never materialized.”

  Luke didn’t take the bait, his gaze now fully concentrated on the road signs. “Pull over at that gas station up there.”

  She was only too happy to comply. Thankfully, the place looked civilized. She’d be able to pick up some groceries to restock the cooler. Maybe Luke would let the kids run around for a while. She pulled up to the pumps and hustled to the loo while he took care of the fuel.

  “So, where are we?” she asked as she recrossed the parking lot. Luke had already gotten the kids out to run around in the grass behind the gas station. He balanced Sarah in one arm as he rummaged in the cooler for a bottle. If he hadn’t been looking at her as though he wanted to strangle her, Jillian would have smiled. Luscious Luke, the big, bad drug agent looked like the poster model for bloody Father of the Year.

  “Jilly, we were on the right road when I went to sleep.” His arm surfaced from the cooler with a dripping bottle and Sarah’s legs started kicking in anticipation.