A Father for Her Baby

by Sue MacKay

  ‘Sasha?’ Grady stood in the doorway. ‘You okay?’

  Forcing her hands to relax, she plastered the facsimile of a smile on her mouth and stood up. ‘Perfectly fine.’ Now, that was a fib.

  ‘Dinner’s ready.’ He didn’t move away, remained with his thoughtful gaze cruising over her. What was he thinking? Did she measure up to his expectations after all this time? Did he even have any expectations? And what did it matter? They had no future together.

  ‘I’ll be there in a minute.’ Go away. Take those all-seeing eyes with you. Give me some space. You’re crowding me, turning any rational thinking into a mire of questions and memories. Enticing crazy ideas to blossom in my skull. Ideas about you and me and my baby.

  Picking up her trackpants, she waved them at Grady. ‘One minute.’

  The moment he turned away she untied her belt and let her trousers drop to her ankles. Stepping out of them, she tugged her trackies on and changed her blouse for a loose sweatshirt that downplayed her baby bulge. Trackpants weren’t exactly a fashion statement, wouldn’t flatter her or remind Grady of sex, but they were darned comfortable and comforting.

  Did she want to remind Grady of sex? With her? Of course not. But having him thinking she looked a frump was hard to swallow, too. Those new trousers with the loose waistband looked okay if she wore a long top over them. Reaching into the wardrobe she heard Grady calling again. Too late. Frump look it was.

  *

  ‘That was as delicious as it smelt when I arrived home.’ Sasha pushed her plate away after her second helping of rice and pork. ‘I’m impressed.’

  His grin was cocky. ‘Wait till you taste my seafood paella.’

  ‘Guess I’ll have to give that a miss. Seafood is out while I’m pregnant. Listeria is a concern.’

  ‘So if I go out scalloping with Ian next week, you won’t be able to eat any?’ His grin just got bigger. ‘You will hate that.’

  ‘True. But the season will still be open when my baby arrives so I’ll make up for any I’ve missed out on then.’

  Grady gathered up their plates. ‘Are you going to work right up until you have her?’

  ‘Definitely. Unless something goes wrong, high blood pressure, that sort of thing. I don’t see why not.’ She needed the money.

  ‘When is the girl you’re covering for due back?’

  ‘Karen’s returning about a month after I’m due. Jess is going to cover for both of us during that time. Nicholas, her little boy, will have to go to playgroup every day, but that’s no hardship. He loves it.’

  Grady placed the plates in the sink and asked, ‘Do you want ice cream? It’s boysenberry.’

  Still her favourite flavour. ‘Low blow. How can I resist?’

  Opening the freezer, he asked another question. ‘What will you do for a job after your maternity leave is up? You said something about a permanent job but with Jess and this other nurse the centre won’t need you, will they?’

  ‘There’s talk about me job sharing with Karen so we both have time off with our babies.’ Half-pay would be better than none. Once she was more confident with Flipper she might have to look at moving over to Nelson and a full-time position, but at the moment she didn’t intend worrying about that. She had saved and invested a lot of money during her years working in Dubai, though that was for a deposit on a house some time, not for everyday expenses. But enough of talking about her. ‘Have you got a job to return to once your house is on the market?’

  He leaned that mouth-watering butt against the bench and folded his arms across his chest. His eyes seemed to be searching her face, looking for who knew what. His answer, when it finally came, rocked her. ‘There’s a contract waiting for me to sign at the practice I qualified from in Auckland. But I like the idea of being a locum for a while. Being here and working a couple of shifts has got me thinking.’

  ‘About working here?’ she squeaked. ‘As in Golden Bay?’ Please, no. Not that. For a start, there weren’t any vacancies at the medical centre. Though the three doctors were often bemoaning the fact they never got much time off.

  ‘Would that be so bad?’ He was serious.

  For her peace of mind, yes, it would. She was still getting used to being back home herself, starting to really relax and let go the past that involved city living, a big job and lots of people always in her face. People who hurt her, broke her trust.

  But at the same time Golden Bay and Grady went hand in hand—for her anyway. She’d only known him since she was a teen but that year she’d met him on Pohara Beach had been big. She’d given him her heart in this place. She’d planned a future with him here.

  Grady was waiting for her reply, still leaning against the bench, only now he looked as though he needed the cabinet’s support. His eyes had darkened as they bored right inside her.

  Hopefully he didn’t see her confusion. Because she sure didn’t understand her own feelings right now. She wasn’t sure she couldn’t trust him again. She also knew he made her feel safe, made her feel as though he’d do anything for her. Made her feel, full stop.

  On the table her hands were shaking so she shoved them on her thighs out of his sight. ‘No, Grady, it’s not a problem for me.’ That was the biggest fib she could’ve come up with.

  Her reply didn’t make him look relieved. Not at all. ‘But you’d prefer it if I didn’t.’

  Standing up, she crossed to stand directly in front of him. ‘Grady, I’m still settling in myself. It’s a permanent move for me.’ She crossed her fingers. ‘Mum’s going to need more and more attention as the MS progresses, though hopefully that will be a while away. And I’d like Flipper to start her life in a place that teaches community values, where she has family and friends who’ll always be there for her, no matter what.’

  ‘The same things that are making me feel more comfortable than I’ve felt in years, and I didn’t grow up here.’ With his forefinger he lifted a strand of hair from her cheek and slipped it behind her ear. ‘The things that remind me of you.’

  Gulp. Move. Away. From. Grady. Now.

  Her feet were lead weights, so heavy she couldn’t shift. Lifting her gaze, she locked eyes with him. Saw a need in those cerulean orbs. A need for her. Gulp. This is not meant to be. So move.

  He said, ‘Want to go for a walk along the beach? There’s a full moon tonight.’

  Hello? Weren’t we talking about you maybe moving to Golden Bay? ‘Sure, I’d like that.’ Huh? What happened to moving away from him, putting distance between them?

  ‘Grab a coat, then. We’ll cut through the properties at the end of the road. Hopefully the moonlight will be enough.’

  ‘Almost daylight,’ Sasha quipped, as she tripped over a large piece of driftwood at the edge of the sand.

  Grady draped an arm over her shoulders and tugged her in beside him. ‘You’re supposed to watch where you’re going.’

  ‘Then I wouldn’t see the stars above or the tide rushing up the beach, tossing shells in front of it.’ Somehow her arm found its way around his waist. Walking on the beach with Grady brought back so many beautiful memories. ‘We brought the CD player down to the beach and danced the night away. You ran the cable for it from your house through the flax bushes to the beach. Anyone coming down to join us tripped over the cord and let us know they were coming.’ Giving us time to straighten ourselves up a bit.

  ‘We fell asleep on the sand and woke up when the tide came in, soaking us. Didn’t do the CD player any good.’

  ‘We went skinny-dipping after everyone had gone to bed.’

  ‘Except half my mates were already out here, doing the same thing with their girlfriends.’ Grady laughed; a deep, full laugh she hadn’t heard once since he’d turned up again in Golden Bay.

  Warmth seeped under her jacket, stole through her heart. ‘You used to laugh a lot.’

  ‘We didn’t have a care in the world, did we? Thought life was wonderful and couldn’t understand how quickly and drastically it could change.’ Removing
his arm from her shoulders, he took her hand in his as they continued along the beach.

  Sneaking a glance up at him, a smile curved her lips. His generous mouth that could kiss her blind was also smiling. This she had missed. Face it, she’d missed Grady and hadn’t been able to replace him, no matter how hard she’d tried. Swinging their joined hands, she let go of the tension that had been gripping her for days and made the most of walking in the moonlight with the man who’d stolen her heart so long ago.

  They turned for home and Grady stopped, placed his hands on her shoulders and gently drew her closer. Her body leant towards him, bending slightly at the waist, or where her waist used to be. Her lips parted as her tongue slid out over the bottom one. Like she wanted to taste him.

  She couldn’t resist him. It was beyond her. When his head lowered and his mouth covered hers she leaned closer. Inhaled that spicy man scent that was Grady. The scent that had been driving her nuts in her vehicle. The man who’d been waking her up, day by day, bringing her out of hibernation to feel again. To remind her of great sex, of love, of needs that had been shut down far too long. Her mouth opened under his, welcomed his probing tongue.

  This is Sash. My love. Grady shifted slightly, wrapped his arms around Sash’s waist and pulled her as close to his body as possible. His muscles remembered her. Especially those south of his belt. As he lost himself in kissing her, tasting her, feeling her plastered against his chest, belly, thighs, he went into sensory overload.

  Forgot everything except Sash. The sweet honeysuckle scent on her skin. Her mouth that teased and tormented as it went from sweet and demure to saucy and sexy in a flash. As though he’d woken her up. Those breasts pressed against his chest were bigger than he remembered, ripe from her pregnancy. His hands itched to touch, cup them; his thumbs needed to rub her nipples until they peaked.

  Her hands were holding his head so that he couldn’t lift his mouth from hers. Her fingers were threaded through his hair, pummelling his scalp with their tips.

  He felt something against his lower gut. What the—? Comprehension rushed in, had him peeling his lips off hers. ‘Is that the baby? Did I just feel her kick?’

  ‘You felt Flipper?’ Astonishment crossed her face, dashed away the slumberous look that had been growing with the deepening of their kiss. ‘Truly?’

  ‘There was a small thud.’ He stared in wonder at the baby bulge resting against him. ‘Unbelievable.’ He’d once had the opportunity to feel a baby’s movements when he’d been doing his training, but this—this couldn’t be more different. This was Sasha and her baby.

  That green-eyed monster stirred. Grady pushed it right back where it had come from. He didn’t own Sasha. She owed him nothing. He’d sent her packing, freed her from loving him, so he had no right to feel jealous of the man she’d obviously had more than a passing fling with. But where was the man?

  Sasha pushed out of his arms, tugged her shirt up and then grabbed his hand to place it on her belly. ‘Here.’

  His palm on her skin, his fingers pressing against her flesh. Unbelievable. Sensory overload. Then he felt it. A nudge from inside Sash’s belly. Wow. And again. ‘That’s… That’s amazing.’

  Sash was grinning like crazy. ‘Isn’t it? Amazing. That’s going on in my tummy. My baby girl. She’s something else.’

  His other hand seemed to have a life of its own, reaching for Sash’s face, cupping her cheek. His thumb traced over her jaw, along her chin and up to her sweet, sexy mouth. ‘I have never known anything so unbelievable. This is real. Your baby. Nothing like what I learned in med school.’

  She chuckled. ‘I’d hope not. Though it is exactly the same really. But it is amazing. I never get tired of feeling Flipper go ballistic in there.’

  ‘Especially after last night.’

  ‘Exactly.’ Her face contorted briefly.

  ‘Another kick?’ He slid his hand across her stomach to where her hand flattened and pressed down. ‘Here?’

  Her head dipped in acknowledgement. Her eyes glittered with love and excitement. ‘I can’t wait to meet her. To see what she looks like, what colour her hair and eyes are.’ Then the glitter faded, replaced with worry. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. I’m tempting fate. I don’t know what I’d do if it happened again.’

  Wrapping his arms around her waist, he tugged her close, enjoying that pushing stomach against his solar plexus. ‘You are so lucky.’

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘I know so.’ In more ways than one. Hell, he’d been an idiot when he’d told her to get on with her life without him.

  Those lush lips spread into a wide smile. ‘So do I.’

  That smile hit him in the gut, sending desire spinning out of control, heating the corners of his body, his heart, where he’d been cold for eleven long years. When his mouth covered hers a groan rolled up his throat from that pool of need and spilled into her mouth. Under his lips her mouth opened further, allowing him deeper access. He tasted Sash. Her fire and sweetness, her softness and strength. And he was lost.

  He had to have her. Taking her hand, he began pulling her along the beach as fast as it was safe to go in the near dark. ‘We might have wonderful memories of what we got up to out here but it’s winter, not summer. Let’s carry this on back at your place.’ As long as she didn’t change her mind about kissing him before they got there. Leaning down, he held her close for a quick kiss. Raced a few metres and stopped for another one. They ran and kissed all the way back to the warmth of her cottage.

  Immediately they got through the front door he pulled her into him, as though they could melt into one. He knew only the woman in his arms. Then her breasts slid up his chest as she stretched up on her toes to push her fingers into his hair. Breasts that had swollen with pregnancy. Breasts that felt soft and yielding, yet their peaks were as hard as pebbles as they moved against his over-sensitised chest. And then they were filling his hands where he’d slipped under her bra.

  Then Sash twisted in his arms, feverishly tugging her shirt over her head, reaching behind to unclip the annoying bra. At the same time her baby bump rubbed up against him and he dropped his hands to touch and feel and hold. When she stood naked from the waist up a lump blocked his breathing. ‘You are so beautiful,’ he finally managed to croak as his hands kept caressing her extended belly. ‘Utterly beautiful.’

  And then he couldn’t think any more as those small hands gripped his shirt and pulled him near. Her fingers plucked at the buttons of his shirt, working their way deftly down from his neck to his waist, exposing his chest bit by bit, her lips touching him with each new exposure.

  Swinging Sash up into his arms, he strode to her bedroom and lowered her onto the bed, all the while kissing that swollen mouth, unable to break the contact.

  Sash pulled her mouth free. ‘Make love to me, Grady.’ Her hands trembled as they unzipped his trousers and took his manhood, caressing and teasing.

  He needed no invitation, had been waiting for this since the night on Takaka Hill when she’d slipped back into his life. He shucked his trousers, helped Sash remove hers, and then he was touching her intimately. She was wet for him, instantly arching into his hand.

  ‘Sash, baby, take your hand off me.’

  Her slumberous eyes blinked at him. ‘No way, sunshine. I like what I’m feeling.’

  ‘Sash,’ he ground through clenched teeth. ‘I won’t last if you keep doing that.’

  ‘You’re not meant to. Ahh,’ she gulped. ‘Don’t stop, whatever you do. Don’t. Stop. That.’ And then her body was convulsing against his hand. And still she rubbed him. And then he rose over her, pushed inside, felt her heat envelop him and knew no more except the waves of hot need exploding from him as he drove into Sash again and again.

  CHAPTER TEN

  SASH TUGGED THE quilt over their naked bodies and snuggled against the hard, muscular length filling her bed that was Grady. His arm encircled her below her baby bump, pulling her as close to him as possible.

&nbs
p; Her brain was sluggish, filled with warmth and the aftermath of their lovemaking. ‘I’ve missed that,’ she whispered to herself. The instant inferno that always came with Grady touching her. She’d even begun to believe it was all in her imagination, made brighter as each year passed. Now she knew she’d been right. And her body wanted it again.

  His hand slid over her breast to cup it. When he stroked her nipple she luxuriated in the erotic sensations flicking out from that point to touch her toes, her thighs, both breasts, lips and fingers. Her tummy.

  My pregnant tummy.

  The reason she should not be lying naked in bed with Grady. Her baby girl would expect her not to make mistakes, did not deserve to have her mother bring a man into their lives who’d sooner or later leave them. Not even when she might be falling in love with that man again.

  Oh, help. What have I done?

  Sent Grady all the wrong messages for a start. Sent those same messages to her heart as well. Now she had to undo it all.

  ‘Sash?’ Grady murmured by her ear. ‘You okay?’

  No. No, she was not okay. She’d just made the biggest mistake of her life. Rolling out of his arms, she pushed to the other, cold side of her bed and sat up, tugging the quilt under her chin and all around her.

  ‘Sash? What’s up?’ Grady sat up, too, reached to take her hand.

  She moved right to the edge of the bed. ‘No, Grady. Don’t.’

  Click. Yellow light flooded the room from her bedside light and Grady focused that steady gaze on her. ‘I’m not understanding what’s going on here.’

  Neither did she. What had possessed her to have sex with him? Like she could’ve stopped. She’d been seized by such an overwhelming need for him her brain had fried and all reason had evaporated. Now she had to face reality, only it had just got complicated. ‘This has got to stop. We can’t do this again. It shouldn’t have happened at all. We are not getting back together, ever.’

  ‘Why not?’