Twisted Souls

by L. L. Collins

  Blake is still my best friend. Though we only get to see each other once a year, he just gets me like no one else. He and I spend more time on the phone than any of my local girlfriends. But seeing Blake is something totally different. When we were fourteen and about to start high school, seeing him changed everything. Those two weeks almost ruined our relationship, and I just can’t have that happen. I look up at the picture of us that’s framed above my desk, the one that Ronan stares at every time he comes in here. It’s the last photo we had taken together, our arms wrapped around each other and huge smiles across our faces.

  You’ve been my best friend my whole life, he had said, putting a piece of my hair behind my ear. I remember looking into his eyes, my stomach churning with anticipation of what he was doing. I’d vaguely noticed the water lapping at my ankles or the birds calling to each other above. My heart had been pummeling inside my chest. I had laughed and pushed his hand away, confused on what was happening. But he had grabbed my hand and put it over his bare chest. I had felt his rapid heartbeat that matched mine, suddenly feeling naked in my bikini. “LiLi,” he had murmured softly. I remembered looking around wildly, wondering if anyone in our families were watching him. I wanted to ask him so many things: what was he doing, what was happening, what was he thinking, but I couldn’t make my mouth form words. Before I knew it, he had pressed his lips to mine and changed everything.

  Shaking the memory back where it belongs, I look over at my mom. “I’m glad I’m going too. It’ll be good to see everyone.” I swallow down the lump that forms in my throat, running through scenario after scenario in my head of what I’ll do once I see him. Tomorrow. The last time my eyes had been on his was when he kissed me. But things are different now. He knows all about Ronan, and even encourages me in my relationship with him.

  My desk phone rings, and I run for it, wondering if I’m wishing for it to be Blake or Ronan. Once I see it’s Ronan, my heart rate goes back to normal. “Hey, Ro,” I answer, twirling the cord on my finger. I turn to see my mom wave silently before shutting my door behind her. My parents love Ronan and his family, but I know they secretly think I’m too young to be so serious about someone.

  “Hey, babe,” his rich voice fills the space between us. When I first met Ronan, I had been completely tongue-tied. I’d never seen anyone as handsome as him, and he had made it a point to seek me out immediately. He’s tall, just over six feet, with dark hair and striking blue eyes. He played football and wrestled, meaning he had a body that every girl in school drooled over. Except he had never given any of them the time of day. From the first day he had started at school our junior year, he had eyes only for me. It still surprises me, when he could have anyone he wants, but he constantly tells me I’m being ridiculous and that he’s the one that’s lucky.

  I’m slightly worried about us going to two different states for college, but every time I bring it up, he scoffs and says I have nothing to worry about, that he’s going to marry me someday. Ronan is going to New York to study accounting at his father and grandfather’s alma mater. I’m staying in Kentucky to study education, though I’m at least going to live in a dorm and have the full college experience. We know we will only see each other a few times in the whole year. I try not to worry, but I know that Ronan is not only one of the most handsome men I have ever seen, but he’s so charismatic. The college girls are going to love every bit of him. My insecurities tell me constantly that he could do better than me, that I really have nothing to offer him.

  “Can you meet me at the park in an hour?”

  I watch the purple cord unwind around my finger as I contemplate his question. Why would he want to meet me now? We had said our goodbyes last night when he took me to dinner, since he had a busy few days coming up. “Why?”

  Ronan laughs. “I’m going to miss you, Lia. I want to see you for just a few minutes, okay? Is that too much to ask?”

  Nervous butterflies assault my stomach, though I don’t know why. So Ronan wants to see me, why should that make me nervous? He’s my boyfriend of almost two years! I look back at my bed and the little packing that I have done, and sigh. Looks like it’ll be a late night. “See you there. Love you.” He echoes it back and the line goes dead.

  I PARK MY car and check out my reflection in my rear view mirror. My blonde hair is curled and falling around my shoulders, and my green eyes are accentuated by just a little eyeliner and mascara. My hand shakes as I lift it to wipe away a stray eyelash, and I roll my eyes at myself. I chalk it up to being nervous about the upcoming changes in my life. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Forcing myself out of the car, I straighten my shirt and smooth it down my body. I’m surely not a stick like some of the girls; I have curves that I love to hate.

  As I walk towards the playground that has been our meeting place ever since we started dating, I spot him on one of the swings. It makes me smile, seeing his huge body kicking back and forth like he was five-years-old again. And just like that, Blake’s face flashes into my head as I remember us playing together in the sand when we were five, both of us promising our best friendship forever. Forcing him into the recesses of my mind where he belongs, I focus on Ronan as I sneak up behind him and wrap my arms around him.

  “Hey sexy,” I drawl into his ear, my arms snaking down his broad chest. He jumps, making me smile against his neck. “Scare you?”

  He stands up, grasping my hands in his. “Yes, you scared me. Thanks for meeting me.” He dips his head and brushes his lips to mine, instantly making my body come alive. “Hmm, I’m going to miss this.”

  I tip my head back to look into his eyes, blue like the ocean. His fingers trace my lips and cheekbones like he’s memorizing me. The way he’s acting isn’t making me feel better. “What’s going on, Ro?”

  He pulls me flush to him, making me momentarily forget that I’m worried. With his hard body pressing into mine, the thoughts that are consuming me aren’t appropriate for a playground. Maybe that’s exactly the way to take care of my nerves about everything. “Want to go to our spot?”

  Ronan knows exactly what I mean by that, and I feel his body’s reaction before he says anything. “Lia.” I smile, pressing my lips briefly to the stubble on his chin before standing on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

  “That’s not why you wanted to meet me tonight?” When he shakes his head no, I run my tongue along his ear before continuing. “Well, I think that’s a great way to remember each other for the next two weeks.”

  Instead of responding, Ronan turns and pulls me with him, walking briskly to his extended cab truck with the lift kit and the black tinted windows. I ignore the butterflies that have taken flight in my stomach again as he revvs the engine and leads us the few miles to the secluded spot that has become ours when we need privacy.

  THE WINDOWS ARE foggy, and we’re both sweating from lack of air, but neither of us moves. I rest my chin on his bare chest, watching as his body relaxes and his breathing evens out. He’s running his hand idly down my bare side, making me want to close my eyes at the sensation. But I don’t, because I want to remember every moment about this night to get me through the months of college where we won’t see each other.

  “I love you,” I say, kissing his chest. When my eyes meet his, what I see there makes me sit up, covering myself with the blanket he always kept in his truck, even though I’m hot. “What’s the matter, Ronan?”

  He sits up, and my eyes travel the impressive length of his body before going back to his face. “We need to talk.”

  Those four words have the breath rushing out of me like someone punched me in the gut. “What is it? Just tell me.”

  Ronan reaches for his shirt, shrugging it back on before finding the rest of his clothes, the silence making tears appear in my eyes. “Get dressed. I’ll drive you back by your car and we can talk.”

  I open and close my mouth, wondering what in the hell just happened to the man that devoured me in the back of his truck. Embarrassment making my
cheeks flame, I hurriedly dress and climb over into the passenger seat, looking out the window so he can’t see the tears that are coursing down my cheeks. He starts the truck without a word and heads back the few miles to the park. He knows me as well as anyone, yet he never attempts to reassure me that things were fine. Which means that they aren’t.

  It seems like it takes forever for him to pull up next to my car. When he does, I turn to him, not caring that he can see the tear tracks on my face. “Get it over with.”

  His face searches mine before he finally reaches over and places his hand over mine. “I love you, Liane. You’re the love of my life, and someday I’m going to marry you.”

  I search his eyes, wondering what in the hell is going on. Why would he need to tell me all of this and scare me half to death? “I love you too, Ronan. I can’t wait to be your wife one day. What are you worried about, honey? Is it that we’re going to be apart? That doesn’t change anything for me.”

  Ronan lets go of my hand and scrubs his face with his hands, looking out the front window for just a beat too long. “I think we need to take a break.” He turns and looks at me just when I am about to laugh. He’s kidding, right? After we just…

  “What?”

  “I was talking to my parents, and they made a good point.” His parents? Anger sparks low in my belly as I process those words.

  “What do your parents have to do with us, Ronan? Just spit it out. What are you saying?” I rarely stand up to him, much more likely to smooth things over and keep the peace, but my nerves are on edge already.

  “I’m moving to New York in just a few weeks. I’ll be there for four years, at least. That’s if I don’t go for my Masters. We just graduated from high school. Our whole life is ahead of us. I love you, and I want to marry you. Someday. I just don’t think it’s our time right now. We won’t have time for each other, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

  He’s breaking up with me. “You don’t want to hurt me? You just… we just… had sex in your truck, and the whole time you were planning on breaking up with me tonight? What kind of boyfriend are you? So you want to marry me when I fit into your timeline, your schedule? So what? I’m just supposed to sit on a shelf for the next four or five years until you decide you’re ready to be part of our relationship again?”

  He blinks, his mouth opening and closing. I shocked myself with my reaction; it must be all the stress getting to me. I’m usually a very quiet, agreeable, don’t-rock-the-boat type person. But he just unleashed something in me, and I refuse to let this be easy for him. “Did you think you were just going to get off with me one more time, then break my heart and I was going to just walk away like a dog with my tail between my legs?”

  “Lia,” he finally says, his voice soft. “It isn’t like that.”

  I cross my arms in front of my chest. “Really. Why don’t you tell me what it’s like then, because that’s what it seems like to me, Ronan. Is it jealousy, is that it? You think that because I’m going to Florida with my family that something’s going to happen? I. Love. You, Ronan Collier.” I indicate the back seat. “What we just did? I don’t do that lightly. You’re the first and only person I’ve ever let touch me like that, and you know how long it took me to even do that with you. So if this is some sort of insecure, jealous thing, you can stop. Blake is my friend. I would never betray you.”

  Ronan shakes his head, stopping me. “I’m not jealous. I know you’re mine, even if I’m not convinced that he knows that. You know that I think he’s in love with you. I just can’t leave for New York worrying about if I’m paying you enough attention, if you’re upset with me. We both need to focus on our school. I still want to see you when we both come home…”

  “What you really mean is you want to have sex with me when we come home,” I interrupt, shocking myself again. “When have I ever been a jealous, needy girlfriend? It all sounds like excuses to me.” It seems that now that the lid is off, I can’t stop myself.

  “Liane,” Ronan’s voice got a harder edge to it, and I know I’m pushing it. He’s losing patience with me. “Let’s not make this harder than it has to be. If someday I’m going to make a great husband to you, I have to be able to provide for you. That means focusing 200% on school while I’m there. I still want to talk, be friends. I just need a break from us being serious.”

  I can’t believe that he’s doing this. This is completely his father, I know it. He doesn’t like that we are serious, and only wants Ronan to follow in his and his father’s footsteps and be an accountant. Ronan is allowing them to railroad him; us. I lose my steam. “Don’t do this, Ronan. Please,” I whisper.

  He cups my face in his hands, the smell of the cologne I got him for Christmas making my eyes fill with tears again. When he presses his warm lips to mine, I lose control, sobs wracking my entire body. “I love you, Liane Kelly. I will until the day I die. I promise.”

  I can’t see his face through my tears, but for the first time since I met Ronan Collier, I don’t believe him.

  “WE’RE HERE,” A voice stirs me from sleep. Blinking my eyes open, I see the smiling face of my mom mere inches from mine. It takes me a moment to realize what she said, my exhaustion of crying myself to sleep for the last three nights catching up with me. I had fallen asleep instantly on the plane to Florida, and in the car ride from the airport to Sanibel. It’s better when I’m asleep; then I can’t remember that my boyfriend just crushed my heart. I don’t even remember how I drove home after that, or how I stumbled into my room. All I know was that the last four days were a blur, and that the Florida sun is exactly what I need. Ronan didn’t even try to call me before we left, and there was no way for him to contact me here. I wouldn’t hear from him, maybe ever again.

  I know that I look like hell, but all my Mom had asked me was if I was okay. She knew what had happened but didn’t press me on the details, knowing I would tell her when I was ready. My mom and I are very close, unlike most teenage girls. I feel comfortable telling her everything and she always listens. Sitting up, I see the familiar shell covered driveway, palm trees, and rows of condos that keep me from seeing the beach. It looks exactly the same. My stomach clenches as I immediately wonder if Blake’s family is here yet.

  My dad turns the ignition off and climbs out, a smile stretching over his handsome face. He loves the beach. If he could retire right now and move here, he would. Stepping from the car, my eyes immediately start scanning the boardwalk that leads to the condos.

  “They’ll be here in a few hours,” my mom says behind me, reading me like a book. “I know Blake is just as anxious to see you. Cathy told me he’s been driving her crazy the whole drive.”

  The first genuine smile in days breaks out on my face without warning. Blake’s driving his mom crazy, huh? The drive from South Carolina to here is roughly twelve hours, give or take. I feel like bouncing on my toes to expend the nervous energy that seeing him is building in me, but I force myself not to. I need to play it cool, and remember. Friends.

  You don’t have a boyfriend anymore, that little aggravating voice reminds me before I force it to be quiet. I can’t lose Blake, too, so crossing that line with him isn’t going to happen. Not four years ago, not today, not ever. After losing what I thought was my soul mate, I’m not ready to take the chance on losing anyone else.

  After helping my parents get everything into the condo, I change quickly into my suit, grab a beach chair, and head for my solace—the sand. I love nothing more than sitting with my feet in the water and a book in my hand. I brought lots of romance novels in my luggage that I plan on consuming while I’m here, but today I need something else. Reading about romance isn’t on the top of my list. I see current copies of my favorite gossip magazines on the table in the condo. Yes, that will do.

  “LIANE?” I OPEN my eyes, wondering where I had heard my name. Geez, I had fallen asleep again, this time in the chair with my feet in the Gulf of Mexico. I need to get a grip. The warm sun must’ve lulled me into a stu
por again.

  “Li?” When that one syllable reaches my ears, I stand up so suddenly that I fling the magazine I had been holding into the water. I watch it for a moment, floating then sinking into the water before a hand reaches past me and picks it up, throwing it behind me into the sand. Turning around slowly, I have no idea if I make any sound outwardly, but I sure as heck inwardly gasp. I’ve seen pictures of him over the last four years. We’d sent each other our senior pictures. But never did I expect that the man standing in front of me was Blake McIntyre. The young teenage boy I had left standing on this beach four years ago was gone, and in his place was the hottest man I’d ever seen. His blonde hair is still unruly, and his chocolate brown eyes still exude kindness. But while before he had been very thin, now he is all filled out. Cuts of muscle define his arms, chest, and stomach, and he looks like he has already gotten tan.

  I’m staring; I know it. But I can’t make myself stop. This is my best friend. My lifelong friend; my everything. Standing in front of me looking like he just posed for GQ. “Blake,” my mouth finally works, a grin that would rival a Cheshire cat’s spreading over my face. His eyes drink me in, trying to read my reaction and my thoughts. At this moment, nothing in the world matters but him. I fling myself into his arms and he catches me with a laugh, his large hands splaying on my bare back as I wrap myself up in him. He’s so much bigger than I remember. I’ve grown a few inches, sure, and am heavier and more womanly than I was when I was fourteen, but am still mostly the same. Blake, however, has grown a good six inches and gained at least 40 or 50 pounds since I have seen him last, and not an ounce of it is fat. He’s Adonis-like. And just my friend, I chant inside my head.