Twisted Souls

by L. L. Collins

  What I think we definitely need to discuss is the Ronan situation. If I know anything about his kind, I know that he isn’t going to give up easily. He’ll find out that she’s with me, and all hell will break loose. I wouldn’t put it past him to drive to South Carolina to pay me a visit, especially since I’d wanted to do the same thing when I found out that he had hurt her. If he loves her even one iota as much as I do, I get it. I welcome him to come see me, actually. I would love nothing more than to have a man-to-man conversation with him and tell him all the ways he isn’t right for her and I am. However, I’m not sure that she’s emotionally equipped to handle the onslaught of feelings it’s going to bring, her seeing him again. And while she might truly be ready to say goodbye to him forever, she’s still one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. She hates to hurt anyone, including the ex-boyfriend that broke her heart days before she came here to me.

  With two days left before we say our goodbyes, I’ve arranged for an entire night together, just us. I even got us our own hotel room. I kind of lied and said we were going to a party at Shaun and Eric’s and are going to stay the night, since where they live in Fort Myers is about 45 minutes from where we are staying. I hated lying to my parents, and she to hers, but I need this. Shaun and Eric are in on it too, as are Brooke and Brianna, just in case.

  So I’m taking Li to a fancy dinner here on the island at one of our favorite places, then back to our hotel. We aren’t going back to our condos until after lunch tomorrow, and at that point we will have less than 24 hours left together. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

  Straightening my tie, I check my appearance in the mirror. Having come to the island with no dress clothes, Shaun had hooked me up and given me a shirt, tie, dress pants, and shoes. That was a bonus to being similar size, that’s for sure. Liane had gone shopping with Brooke and Brianna in Fort Myers the day before, and I can’t wait to see what my sister came up with this time.

  My blonde hair is spiked in it’s usual ‘do, and I think I look decent for having to dress like I’m headed to church. And with what I have planned for her tonight, I’m definitely not going there. Running my fingers over my face, I’m satisfied that I’ve gotten all my stubble. I splash some after shave, her favorite, on my hands and then onto my face, grinning at myself in the mirror. I even got a disposable camera for us to document our time together tonight. I can’t very well ask my parents to borrow their expensive camera to go to a ‘party’. Plus, I don’t want these pictures on anyone else’s camera but mine.

  Flicking off the light, I grab my wallet and my overnight bag. Nerves make my hand shake as I reach for the handle to the condo.

  “Be safe,” a voice comes from behind me. It’s Brooke, who saved my hide with my parents by saying she and Bri didn’t want to go to the party at Shaun’s because their friends are leaving tomorrow. It’s true, they do have friends that are leaving, but of course we aren’t heading to a party.

  “Thank you, Brooke. For everything.” A sad look crosses her face, but she quickly recovers. I don’t dare ask her why she looks like that, because I’m not sure I’ll like the answer. Tonight is about Liane and me and for the next eighteen hours or so, I’m going to forget that anything outside of us exists.

  I’M NERVOUS. AND I know that’s completely ridiculous. Blake and I have bared our souls (and more) to each other over the last two weeks. It’s been the best time of my life. Tears fill my eyes as I realize this is really it. This little secret trip of ours is the end of our vacation. Our countdown is on. We’re going home very soon, and I’m leaving for college a week after we get back. My roommate assignment should be in the mailbox when I get home, and I simultaneously can’t wait to start the rest of my life and I’m dreading it. If only the rest of my life includes seeing Blake on a daily basis. As I check my reflection again in the mirror, I look myself in the eyes. Blake and I are going to have an entire evening, night, and morning together with no chance of being interrupted by parents, sisters, or brothers. It makes me feel like a grown up. Well, I guess I am, after all. I’m only slightly nervous about being caught and way more nervous about us ‘playing house’. Will it feel right, normal, or will it be awkward? If I am honest with myself, I’m worried about both things.

  And then there’s Ronan. I’m glad that I tore up that letter; I don’t want to worry about his meaning by reading it over and over. I know he wants me back. The difference is, I don’t want him back. And I’m going to shock him by telling him that, I know it. He’s not used to me standing up to him, at all. I always do whatever Ronan wants me to do. But this is the new Liane, and I’m going to stick by her. This Liane loves Blake McIntyre, and isn’t afraid to admit it anymore.

  Smoothing my hands down my hips, I smile at my reflection. I found just a simple sleeveless black dress, fitted to my body and to my mid-thigh. I accentuated it with the diamond earrings I’d gotten from my grandmother for my eighteen birthday just a few weeks before we came here. My hair is half up, the rest curled down my back. Brooke had given me some great pointers on makeup and I had perfected the ‘smoky eye’.

  I hear a knock on our front door and grin. He’s here. Our families are out at the beach, grilling and playing volleyball. I walk to the door and realize my hand is shaking as I reach for the doorknob. It’s just Blake, I remind myself.

  A whistle sounds before I even got the door all the way open. “Baby,” Blake says, stepping into the condo. He looks delectable. I’ve never seen him in a shirt and tie before. His muscles fill out the shirt, making my mouth water in anticipation. He reaches for me and I go into his arms, closing my eyes against the smell of him. I press my nose into his neck, inhaling his scent.

  “You smell so good,” I murmur, snaking my arms around to his backside. “And you look so hot.”

  He laughs. “I could say the exact same thing about you. Smell and look good enough to eat. Turn around, I want to see you.” Blake takes my hand and turns me around. I swear I can feel his gaze all over my body like he’s touching me. “Liane,” he says, turning me back around to face him. “Breathtaking. I love you.” I don’t even care that he’s going to smear my lipstick or end up wearing half of it; I meet his lips with urgency, channeling all my nerves into kissing him.

  His fingers skate over my body on top of my dress, but I swear I feel it like he is touching bare skin. “Do you have your things all ready?” His voice is husky and tight, and I know he’s trying to restrain himself. If there is something we can’t get enough of, it is touching each other. After so many years of just being ‘friends’, I guess we are making up for it. That and we know that come two days from now, our chance to touch each other again will probably be months away.

  “I’m ready,” I answer, and we both know it has double meaning. Blake grabs my overnight bag and we head for the car, his hand on my hip the entire time.

  “It’s just us,” he whispers as he helps me into the car. Leaning in so he can kiss me again, he snakes his hand up my thigh and under my dress. “No interruptions.”

  I touch his face, rubbing my thumb along his lips as he torments me. When he bends to take my lips again and our tongues intertwine, we both groan. “We better go,” I whisper. “Or we’ll never make it out of here.”

  His eyes flash, and I know he’s thinking about later, just like me. “Oh, we’re making it out of here. We just may not make it to eat dinner and might be ordering pizza.” He steps back and shuts my door, jogging over to his side of the car. Sliding in, he winks at me right before sliding his sunglasses over his eyes. He rests his hand back on my thigh as he pulls out of the parking lot, and I can’t stop just watching him, a twinge of sadness flickering through me.

  “THAT WAS AMAZING,” Blake announces, leaning back and patting his stomach. “I think I gained five pounds at this dinner alone.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, right. Your six-pack is still intact. But you may have to roll me out of here.” We’re out on Captiva at one of my favorite places to eat in the
world, and we had taken full advantage, having appetizers, salad, dinner, and dessert. I can’t remember the last time I’d been so full.

  “Let’s go walk on the beach,” Blake says, pushing his chair back and holding his hand out for me. “It’s our favorite time of night.”

  I smile, taking his hand and trying not to groan as I get up. I’m never eating again. We walk out to the beach and I take my heels off, looping them together and holding them in one hand so I can keep hold of Blake with the other. We start walking, comfortable silence between us while we’re both lost in our own thoughts. The sun is starting to set, making the water reflect orange and yellow. A warm breeze ruffles my hair, soothing me. Kids run up and down the beach with their parents, looking for shells and squealing when they see crabs.

  “I want to buy a timeshare here and come every year with our family,” I say out loud before I catch myself. Blake stops, maneuvering my shoes out of my hand. They drop to the sand, but I don’t care. His gaze has me locked onto him.

  He cups my face with his hands, making me smile. It’s one of my favorite things that he does; it makes me feel so loved and safe. “I can’t wait for that. It would be a dream come true.” He indicates a little ways down, where a little boy and girl, about three or four, run after each other, their parents sitting on the sand smiling at them. “See them? I want that to be us. I would love nothing more than to have a whole team full of kids together.”

  A lump the size of Texas forms in my throat, and tears burn my eyes. Blake notices, as he always does, and hugs me tight to him. “What’s the matter, Li?”

  “I love you so much, Blake,” I cry, sniffling into his chest. “I’m trying not to be sad about us leaving each other, but I just can’t help it. I want to fast forward to that right there,” I nod towards the family we were watching. “I want that more than anything. We just have so much to get through to get there.”

  “It’ll be before we know it,” Blake answers. “I’m looking into schools in Kentucky.”

  I lean back, shocked. “Really?”

  “Yes. I don’t want you to get your hopes up, because I have no idea if my program is anywhere near you, but I’m going to find out as soon as we get back. I can’t live without you for four years, Li.”

  “What if I look at South Carolina, too? We could see what’s best for both of us.”

  “No,” he argues. “You go to school as planned next week. No matter what we need to do, I’m coming to you.”

  “Where do you see us?” I ask, immediately wishing I didn’t.

  “Where do I see us? As in, the future?” Blake settles himself on the sand, and I sit with him, not even caring that my dress is short and tight. I cross my legs at the ankles and lean against his chest. “If I had my way, I’d marry you tomorrow and we’d go to school together somewhere. Then, when we both start our careers in four years, I would knock you up and keep you that way for about ten years.” We both start laughing. “No, really. There’s nothing sexier to me than thinking about a baby of mine inside of you. Of course, we are too young for that now. I want you to go to school and realize your own dreams. But, never doubt how much I want everything with you, as soon as possible. We have our whole lives ahead of us, now.”

  “But what if we can’t go to school near each other?” I ask, wishing I didn’t have to.

  Blake kisses my neck, both of us lost in that possibility for a moment. “I’ll do whatever I can to get near you, Li,” he answers. But I know that he just can’t make miracles happen. “I’d give up anything for you.”

  “I don’t want you to give up anything,” I argue. “You need to live your dream too, Blake.”

  “You are my dream, Liane Kelly.” He traces my left ring finger, and I get a chill. “Someday soon, I’m going to put a ring on this finger. And not long after that, everyone in the world will know you’re mine forever when your name isn’t Liane Kelly anymore. Liane McIntrye has a great ring to it, doesn’t it?”

  I roll that name around my tongue, pretending I haven’t practiced it in my own head for years. As much as I fight it, his words remind me of what Ronan put in his letter to me, about wanting me to be Liane Collier. I shake my head, willing the thoughts of him to go away.

  “No? You don’t want to be Liane McIntyre? Why, are you going to be one of those women that doesn’t change their name?”

  “Oh no,” I laugh. “I’m taking that name of yours and never looking back. I just can’t believe we’re here, talking about this. Two weeks ago, I was at the lowest point in my life. Today, everything has changed and here I am with you, happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

  “Do you think things have moved too fast?” I know he’s worried; there’s nothing I seem to be able to do to convince him that I am all in. I guess time will have to show him that.

  “I don’t,” I answer. “I had this conversation with my mom right after we got together. You know parents will be the first to tell you to hold your horses.” We laugh, lightening the mood. “But even she said we’ve been friends our whole lives. Being together now is kind of the icing on the cake. It’s not like we just met. If that were the case, we might be moving too fast.”

  “I’ve always loved your mom,” Blake jokes. “What happens when you go home, Li?”

  I turn to look at him, putting my legs as much under me as I can. “What do you mean?”

  “We both know Ronan isn’t going to just accept that you’ve moved on. I hardly know the guy, but I know what I would do if someone told me I couldn’t be with you. I don’t think he’s going to give up without a fight.”

  I sigh, knowing he’s right. Honestly I’m glad that I haven’t been able to talk to Ronan at all since receiving his letter, as I really don’t want to hear what he has to say about us. I need this time to plan out exactly what I’m going to tell him. “He probably won’t give up without a fight,” I admit to Blake. “But that doesn’t change the fact that he isn’t going to get his way on this. He’s the one that decided going away to college unattached was the right choice for him. And since then, I’ve realized my life is heading in another direction, and I’m 110% sure that it’s the right choice. So no matter what he says, it doesn’t change that. He’s going to go to New York single just like he wanted to.”

  Blake looks at me, not saying anything. “I wish I could be there to help you,” he says finally.

  I laugh. “The only thing that would accomplish is you and Ronan getting in a fight. I know this about both of you. I’ll be fine. I know Ronan cares about me, so I’m hoping that once he sees that I’m happy, he’ll let me go.”

  “If he lets you go that easily, I’ll be shocked,” Blake mutters. “Come on. Let’s get back to the car before it’s dark. Now that we’ve gotten all of our talking out of the way, we can use our time wisely.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I giggle, glad we’re back on lighter terms. We still haven’t figured out when the next time is going to be that we see each other, but I guess that depends on whether Blake decides to transfer to another school or not. I have to believe that everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to.

  “Let me take some pictures of you before we go,” Blake says, taking his disposable camera out of my purse. “Go stand by the water.” He makes me pose like I’m his model, and I do it. We finally get a passerby to take a few pictures of the two of us together, and I know the one where I’m kissing him with the sun setting behind us will be my favorite.

  BLAKE STEPS FORWARD and opens the hotel door, and we catch each other’s eye. Though my stomach is in knots, I’m more excited than I’ve ever been for anything. “After you,” he says, holding the door. I walk into the room and immediately stop, my eyes looking everywhere trying to take in the room. This had to cost him a ridiculous amount of money.

  There’s a bathtub in the room, as well as an enormous bed that looks as soft as a cloud. Huge windows overlook the Gulf of Mexico. Even though it’s just about dark, I can still see the white sand reflected
by the moon. There are candles lit all throughout the room.

  “How did you do this?” I ask, looking over my shoulder at him.

  He shrugs. “I may or may not have told them it was our honeymoon. They asked what I wanted in the room, and I told them. This is the suite they reserve for newly married couples.” I look at him for a second before we both start laughing. Honeymoon suite.

  “Blake,” I continue to laugh, my nerves making this a little funnier than it actually is.

  “I wish it was,” he growls into my ear, dropping our bags at our feet. Not wasting any time, he unzips the back of my dress and starts sliding it down my body. “Am I being too forward?”

  “I think it’s a little late for you to ask that,” I tease, my eyes closing on their own as his large hands assist my dress to the floor. I step out of it and kick my shoes aside, standing in the matching black bra and panties I had bought for the occasion. It wasn’t often that I matched my underwear, but I have to admit it makes me feel sexy.

  “When you look like this, I can’t help myself,” Blake says, his eyes warming me as he travels my body with his intent gaze.

  “Speaking of that,” I tease, stepping forward and loosening his tie. “You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in this outfit,” I begin, pulling him towards me with the tie. “But you want to know what’s even more handsome?”

  “What’s that?” I begin unbuttoning the dress shirt, my eyes trained on the muscle underneath.

  “This.” Shoving his shirt off of his shoulders, I roam my hands along his chest, the tie still hanging from his neck. He hasn’t moved since I began, and it empowers me to know that he’s frozen, watching me. “That’s much better. See, that shirt was so… restrictive. Know what else is in the way?”

  His gaze flickers to the belt on his pants, and I nod. “You’ve got that right. Time to say goodbye to that, too.” His hands dangle at his sides as he watches me unbuckle and pull off his belt, dropping it on the floor next to my dress and his shirt. I make quick work of his pants button, hoping he doesn’t see how much my hands are shaking.