Twisted Souls

by L. L. Collins

  “I know, Mom. I’ll call you later.” I throw the phone on the seat, hoping that when I call her back, it’s with good news.

  THERE ARE PEOPLE everywhere on this campus. Cars and trucks are parked all over lawns, and people crisscross each other in and out of buildings, carrying boxes and suitcases. So this is what it’s like to go to a big university. For a moment I get lost in the excitement of it, watching students mingle and meet one another for the first time. A horn shakes me out of my daydream and I look down at the map I picked up when I drove into the university. She had told me she was moving into Wilson Hall, and according to my map I’m very close, so I start looking for a parking space. Turning the corner, I see someone pulling out of a spot directly in front of Li’s dorm.

  “Yes,” I say to no one. “Now let’s go get your girl, Blake. No more of this moping business.” Turning off the engine, I pick up the cell phone and find her dorm phone number in my wallet. Punching in the numbers, I try to ignore that my stomach is in knots. This is all going to work out, I try to reassure myself as the phone rings and rings.

  “Hello?” a female voice answers the phone. It must be her new roommate.

  “Hi, is Liane there?”

  “Uh, hang on a second. I think she went to the car. Who’s calling?”

  “Blake. Her boyfriend.”

  There’s a pause, and I can hear rustling. “Hold on. Let me see if I can find her.”

  I wait for what seems like forever, feeling silly. Why don’t I just walk up and find her room? I scan the people going in and out to see if I can see her, but there are many entrances and I have no idea where she’s parked. Just before I was going to hang up and just walk around to look for her, I hear someone pick up the phone.

  “Her boyfriend? That’s what you call yourself? Still? Boy, you sure don’t get a hint, do you?” My mouth drops open. So he is here with her.

  “Let me talk to Liane,” I respond, shoving the car door open and pacing on the sidewalk. If he doesn’t give her the phone right now, I’m going to run through the halls of that huge dorm and find him. And he’s not going to like it when I do.

  “She’s at the car, just like her roommate told you. You aren’t wanted here, Blake. Don’t look desperate. I’m here with her to help her move in to her dorm. If she wanted you, she’d call you.”

  “She did call me, you idiot. I’m not leaving here until I talk to her. So you can either tell her to come out here, or I’ll come in and find you.”

  “What other proof do you need that she’s with me now, bonehead? I gave you the letter. Have you talked to her since then? You don’t have to answer that, because I already know. She’s spent every moment with me. We’ve made up for lost time in many fun ways. Oh, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that, though. Do you need to see us together so you know she’s moved on?”

  “Find her,” I say through gritted teeth. “I don’t care what you have to say. I’m talking to Liane, and that’s final. What’s her room number. I’m coming up.”

  Ronan laughs. “I’ll call campus security if you even step foot into this dorm.”

  “Security? For what? They won’t listen to you.”

  “Stalking. I’ll tell them Liane’s afraid of you, and you drove eight hours to find where she lives now. How do you think they’ll take that?”

  I slam my hand on the hood, not even caring if it leaves a dent. A few passerby’s look at me quizzically, but I can’t care about anything but finding Liane right now. “I’m going to find her, you piece of shit. And when I do, I’m going to kiss her and pull her into my arms while you watch. And then I’m going to put you into the ground where you deserve to be. Do you hear me, Ronan Collier?”

  “I hear threats, Blake McIntyre. And so did the entire room. Give it up. Don’t be a sore loser, Blake. Go on home now with your tail between your legs, and find some nice trailer girl who will be satisfied with any bone you throw her. Liane’s mine.” The line goes dead, and I throw the phone into the grass, a frustrated roar erupting out of me.

  I’m finding her, and that’s all there is to it. Picking up the phone, I tuck it in my pocket. I look up at the large building in front of me and sigh. There are five stories and probably at least four hundred rooms. This could take awhile, but no matter how long it takes, I’m not leaving until I see her. She’s been leaving me messages for days, so no matter what Ronan says, I know she wants to see me. I’ve been the one not calling her back.

  Sweat is coursing down my face and back like I’ve spent hours pounding weights in the gym. I’ve gone through the entire first floor and haven’t found anyone that has seen her or knows where she is. Thank God I have her picture with me, since none of these people know her yet. Taking the stairs two at a time, I burst through the door on the second floor, getting a few looks. I start going room to room, showing her picture and asking if anyone has seen her. I get a few catcalls from some of the girls. Ignoring them, I make my way up and down the very long hall. I’m about to lose it. It’s taking too long to find her. Stepping up my pace, I finish the second floor with no success. I know I now look like I’ve taken a shower in my clothes, and I probably stink to high heaven. Lovely way to find Liane. I’m sure I look like I’ve lost my mind too, since I pretty much have.

  Stopping to take a breath at the entrance to the third floor, I pray to find her. I’m not leaving until I do. I turn to start asking door to door when my breath is knocked out of me. I see her, standing in the doorway of room about halfway down the hallway. She’s laughing at something, and then I see a hand reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear. When my brain registers who it is, rage like I’ve never felt before seeps into every pore. Ronan is touching her. She’s letting him. I’m just about to barrel down the hallway when he leans over and kisses her, pulling her into his arms. I stop, dead in my tracks. No. She’s not kissing him.

  I want to kill him. I want to fall to the floor and scream at her. Why did she do this to us? But I don’t do either. Instead, I turn around and run down the three flights of stairs. I can hardly see past my rage. Somehow I make it out of the door and stumble to my car, my chest heaving with the effort to hold in my anger. I rest my head against the steering wheel, gripping the leather with my hands and hitting it as hard as I can. I need to punch something, and now.

  I fling the door open and pace the sidewalk, looking for any way to relieve my rage. I should go back up there and scream at both of them and tell them exactly what I think of their little game, then pound Ronan’s face in. That would take care of my problem. Maybe I never knew Liane at all. I guess two weeks a year face to face just wasn’t enough for me to know the real her. I turn around to see Ronan’s face. Oh, just what I need. He has no idea what he’s done now.

  “Get out of here,” Ronan says. “It’s me that’s here with her. It’s not going to be you. Not now, not ever again. So leave. Now.”

  I clench my fists, knowing that I can’t stop it; not this time. I pull my fist back and punch him square in the face, knocking him to the ground. He holds his nose, blood spurting from it like a fountain. I wish it felt half as good as I want it to, but the punk asked for it. It doesn’t change what’s happening or that Li is gone for good, but it makes me feel slightly better to know he’s going to have a broken nose to remind him of me. What were all the messages she’d left me about, her telling me that she loves me? She’s a liar. And they both deserve each other. Jumping into the car, I squeal the tires, hoping she’s happy now.

  “BLAKE, TALK TO me,” my mom pleads, following me as I throw things into my suitcase. “What happened, son? I talked to Liane’s parents, sweetie.”

  I stop, but don’t turn around and look at her. I have no idea how I made it home, but I can’t stay here. I flex my hand, the pain a reminder of what I had done to Ronan. Not that it did any good. The punk got her. I wonder absently what Liane had thought when he came back with his face all bloody. I know Ronan would never tell her I had been there.

  When I�
��d gotten home, I’d called my friend Gabe. He’s been a friend for many years but moved when we started high school. He lives two hours from here and will let me crash with him for a while. He has his own place now, and that’s just what I need. Somewhere that I can’t see minute-by-minute reminders of what I lost. I can’t worry about school, or work, or any of it. I just have to go.

  “They said they have no knowledge of her being back with Ronan,” she says. I close my eyes, the image of Ronan kissing her in the hallway of her dorm flashing in front of my eyes. His words echo through my brain. I can’t tell her, because my mouth can’t form the words. “Where are you going, Blake?”

  I hear the door open and know Brooke and Brianna are in there. I’ve tried to shelter them from this; I know they love her. But there’s no stopping those two when they want to know something. “Blake. You can’t run away.” Brianna, always the levelheaded one.

  I still can’t speak. I feel someone walk up behind me, and then Brooke’s face appears next to me. “She sent you a letter.” I look down and see the envelope in her hand. I have no idea what to feel. What else could she possibly have to say? “She also called today and left a message.”

  I sit on my bed, putting my head in my hands. This is exactly why I need to get away. My mouth won’t work to say anything. “Tell me,” Brooke whispers. “You’re falling apart, Blake. Let me help.”

  I hear the door close and I know my mom and sister have left us alone. “You can’t help me, Brooke. No one can.”

  She wraps her arms around me and I let it all out; the days of wondering, the pain of seeing it with my own eyes, and the realization that my dream has ended. “Let’s open the letter,” she says. “I’m right here with you, Blake. You need to read it.”

  I nod, only because I know she’s not going to give up. She opens the envelope and I gasp when I see Liane’s stationery. She looks at me, then back at the letter. “I’m going to read it to you, Blake.” I look over her shoulder as she reads.

  Blake,

  I don’t understand what’s happening. I’ve called you and you don’t return my calls. Did I do something to upset you? Please call me. I miss you more than anything. I’m heading to school tomorrow and will be in my dorm. You have the number. My new roommate’s name is Kinsley and I talked to her on the phone tonight. She seems really nice. I can’t wait to see you again.

  I love you, Blake. And I always will.

  Love,

  Li

  I rip the letter from Brooke’s hand and shred it until I can’t see a single letter of her handwriting. When I’m done, my floor is full of the little pieces and Brooke is staring at me, her mouth open. “S-she says basically the same thing in the message on the phone,” she whispers, leaning over and picking up the little pieces.

  “She’s a liar!” I shout, flinging my suitcase off my bed. “I have to go. I’m staying with Gabe for a little while. I’ll call you.” I rush out of the house, not stopping to say anything to anyone else. I plan on forgetting that Liane Kelly ever existed in just about two hours.

  “BLAKE, WAKE UP. Blake. You’re scaring me.” I will my eyes to open, but they won’t. I have to think for a minute where I am before it registers. I came to Gabe’s. He knew I needed a distraction, so he invited some people over. I drank. A lot. The most I’ve drank in my entire life is a few beers. “Blake. Dude, I’m calling 911 if you don’t talk to me right now.”

  “Ughhh,” is about all I can muster, but I hear Gabe breathe a sigh of relief. I force my eyes to open, but they’ll only cooperate into little slits. There’s too much light, and everything hurts.

  “Shit, you’re not drinking again. You scared the ever-loving hell out of me. Emma came to wake me up, said she was worried about you.”

  Emma? Who is Emma? Oh wait. I think I remember. Gabe has some smoking hot friends, and she’d come with them over to party in a very small skirt and low cut tank top. And best of all, she has dark hair and dark eyes. There’s nothing about her that reminds me of Li.

  “Here, drink this and take some aspirin,” Gabe holds it in front of my face. It feels like my head weighs two hundred pounds. “Guess you and Emma had fun last night. I guess she’s a friend of Bailey’s, and I’ve known Bailey for a few years. She’s great because she’s okay without any strings, if you know what I mean.”

  I let the cool liquid slide down my throat, and my eyes finally cooperate in opening fully. My head is pounding and I feel sick, but the worst pain about being awake is missing Li. No amount of alcohol or ‘no strings’ girls is going to make up for the hole that is now permanently in my heart.

  I flop down on my bed, exhausted. I finally got all of the boxes unpacked and things somewhat put away after two days of living in what looked like a storage locker. It feels amazing to be here, but also strange. Kinsley and I have spent the day talking and getting to know each other after basically passing out on our beds last night. She’s also from Kentucky and is studying to be a teacher. She’s adorable and her personality is just infectious. I can already tell we’re going to be great friends.

  “So tell me about your boyfriend,” she says. “I don’t have one, so I need to live through you. He’s hot, by the way.”

  “Oh, Ronan? No. He’s not my boyfriend. Well, he was. But… oh my, it’s a long story. Do you really want to hear it?” I roll over to face her, and she nods her head. I tell her everything about being friends with Blake forever, and then dating Ronan and what happened this summer.

  “I’ve called Blake so many times, but he’s not calling me back,” I tell her, my stomach clenching at the thought of him. “I miss him so much. I’m not sure what’s going on with him. I wrote him a letter. Hopefully he’s just really busy or something.”

  “My parents bought me a computer,” she says. “You’re welcome to use it whenever you want. I can help you make an email address. That might be easier to keep in touch with him.” Kinsley’s brow furrows. “Wait. I forgot to tell you. Someone called here the day we moved in saying he was your boyfriend. I’d assumed that Ronan was your boyfriend before this guy called. Ronan was in here and told me he’d take the call for you.”

  I sit straight up. “What? Was his name Blake?”

  She senses my desperation and sits up also. “I think he did say Blake. He said he was your boyfriend, I know that. You were out at the car and Ronan said he would take it for you.” After the stories I told her, understanding dawns on her face. “Oh no. I’m sorry, Liane.”

  I wave her apology away. “You didn’t know, Kinsley. But, oh my god. What has Ronan done now? Blake called me here, and Ronan talked to him. There’s no telling what he told him.” I stand up, pacing back and forth in the small area in between our beds. “What do I do?”

  “Start with calling Ronan,” Kinsley says. “Ask him why he didn’t tell you, and what he said.”

  I stop, my hands on my hips. There’s no way Ronan will tell me the truth about what he said to Blake. “He’s on a plane to New York,” I seethe. “How dare he, Kinsley! He’s so selfish that he…” This after he pulled me into his arms and kissed me right in front of everyone in the dorm hallway before he had left. I had smacked him in the face after, despite his broken nose. He had laughed and apologized, but he wasn’t sorry. This had all been part of his plan.

  “Call Blake,” she offers. “Tell him what happened.”

  I grab for the phone, knowing she’s right. I have to talk to Blake. He has to listen to me and know that whatever Ronan said, it was a lie. As the phone rings, my desperation rises. Blake had already been acting weird, going from talking to me a few times a day to not talking to me at all. I couldn’t lose him; not like this.

  “Hello?” Blake’s mom answers.

  “Aunt Cathy,” I say. “Can I please talk to Blake?”

  “Li,” she says, her voice sad. “I wish I could let you.”

  “What do you mean? I need to talk to him. Please.”

  “He’s not here,” she says. “He left.”


  “What do you mean, he left?”

  “When he got back from your school, he left. He won’t call me. All I know is, he went to his friend Gabe’s place a few hours away.”

  “Wait, what? He was here?” My heart plummets in to my feet. He had been here at my school?

  “Yes,” she says. “All I know is, he came home more destroyed than I’ve ever seen him and he left. He wouldn’t talk to any of us. The only one that got anything out of him was Brooke.”

  Oh, my god. Why had he come all the way here and then left? Why was he destroyed? I knew the answer. One word. Ronan. “Can I talk to Brooke please?”

  “She’s not here, Li,” she says, and my heart breaks again.

  “I have to talk to him. Has he been getting my messages, my letters? Can you give me Gabe’s number?”

  “Sweetie, give him some time, okay? Whatever happened has messed him up big time. You know I love you, but I need to protect him right now.”

  “Protect him? From me? I love him, Aunt Cathy! Nothing happened! He’s misunderstood! Whatever Ronan said to him was a lie!”

  “Honey, I don’t know the details. But I know he’s hurt. And sometimes love isn’t enough.” With that, the line went dead and I stare at the phone in disbelief.

  I turn to Kinsley, my mouth open in shock. “S-she hung up on me. He’s not there. He left. He was here, Kinsley. Here. Something happened and he left without seeing me.” I slump to the floor, trying to hold in the urge to destroy everything around me. “This has Ronan written all over it. What did he do to Blake? Oh God, I’m going to be sick.” I stand and run down the hallway for the bathroom, barely making it before losing it. How had my life spiraled out of control so quickly?

  “WHAT DID YOU say to Blake when he called,” I spit out when Ronan answers the phone. I don’t care that he just got to New York or that he’s trying to settle into his new dorm. All I care about is what he did to my boyfriend that made him run away from not only me, but also everyone in his family.