Winning Alex: The Cameron Family Saga

by Shirley Larson

  “Oh, don’t make such a fuss, Alex. How do you think I feel at the christening of my first granddaughter? I feel absolutely wonderful.” She turned to me. “Alex, where are your manners? You must introduce me to this lovely young woman.”

  “I was just waiting until I could get a word in edgewise. This is Susan Zalinsky. She’s my assistant.”

  Amelia extended her hand, a twinkle in her eye. “My dear girl. You have my utmost sympathy. Does he work you terribly hard?”

  “Not too terribly hard, but hard enough. There’s always that occasional Caribbean trip that makes up for all the hard work.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad you have some respite. My sons all work too hard.” She said that criticism with such obvious pride.

  Then it was time to enter the sanctuary. We all trooped down the aisle toward the front altar. Lynne, Alex’s sister moved to walk beside me. “Because Alex is Madeline’s godfather, he’ll go up front with Hunter and Liz. You can sit beside me.”

  “Thank you,” I said. I was more than grateful for her whispered direction and her kindness. I hadn’t really known what to do. She went into a front pew and I followed her.

  What is it about a church sanctuary bathed in light from its stained glass windows and steeped in elemental quiet that makes one believe there must be a larger purpose to life? Two bouquets of white roses in silver vases decorated the altar table, so appropriate for this child’s baptism. As the parents gathered around the baptismal font, Liz handed the baby to Alex. I could see his face from where I was sitting. I knew him so well, every expression, even though he always tried so hard to disguise any emotion he felt. At this moment, he was too moved to hide his feelings. His love for this child was written all over him. Knowing Alex, I realized how seriously he would take this responsibility of being godfather, even though both Hunter and Liz were fully capable of parenting their daughter.

  The baby was dressed in a long lacy white dress which contrasted so strongly with Alex’s dark suit. Liz removed the white cap from Madeline’s head and the pastor put his moistened hand on her dark curls and called her by her name, Madeline Amelia Cameron. I heard a little gasp. I wondered if Amelia Cameron had known they were going to name their daughter after her.

  The baby simply looked up at Alex with those dark blue eyes and didn’t protest being touched by that wet hand. It was as if she knew that when Alex held her, she was safe.

  The longing rose in me then, a longing so strong it was almost palpable. I wanted to see Alex holding our baby. In all my life, I don’t think I ever really thought about having children. They were something far away in the misty future. My life had been all about my career and making money. But now, I felt that ache deep inside that a woman feels when she wants a child with every fiber of her being. For there was no future for me with Alex. And because of Alex, there was no future for me with anyone else.

  The ceremony ended and Alex handed Madeline back to her mother. When we emerged from the church, it was snowing big, fat flakes.

  The rest of the family climbed into a big limousine, but Alex caught my hand and led me to his Jeep.

  When we were inside, belted and on our way out of the parking lot, I said, “That was a beautiful ceremony. Little Madeline was a perfect child. Most children cry when some stranger puts a wet hand on their head but she didn‘t.”

  “No, she didn’t,” he said in that cool tone of his that always seemed to discourage further conversation.

  “I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful godfather.”

  “Are you?” he said.

  Why was he being such an ass? A rising anger took hold of me. Seeing him with Madeline made me realize it wasn’t just sex I wanted with Alex, it was everything, a home, a baby, all of it. All of that normal life that I never thought I wanted. If I couldn’t even talk to him or he to me, what was the point? “I think you should take me home now. Your family needs to celebrate without a stranger in their midst. “

  “You’re not a stranger.”

  “I want you to take me home.”

  We were headed up Winton toward East Avenue. He pulled the car into a side street and stopped. We sat there in the snow, the windshield wipers going back and forth.

  “What’s the matter? Why are you being so unreasonable?” he said, sounding as if he were the most logical person in the world.

  “Me? Unreasonable? Alex, I don’t know how to play this game. You want me to keep my distance, you don’t want to have a personal relationship with me, yet now you bring me into the family fold. It’s just too… confusing.”

  “What?” Finally I had aroused an emotion in him. “You think I have an answer? I see you all of my working day, and I discover it’s not enough. I wanted you with me today. I needed you with me today.” His hands gripped the steering wheel.

  “You can’t have it both ways, Alex. If you want me to keep my distance, then take me home now. If you want something else, then now is the time to show me exactly what it is you want from me.”

  “What do I want from you? Get out of the car.”

  “What?” He was going to drive off and leave me here in the snow? My anger turned into panic. Had he gone crazy?

  In a low harsh tone, he said, “Get out of the car.”

  I suppose it was an indication of my trust in him. I didn’t know what he had in mind, but I was sure he didn’t intend to drive off and leave me in the cold. I opened the door and got out. He did the same and came round to me. He backed me up against the car door. “Let me show you what I want from you.” With the car pressing chilly cold against my back, he cupped my head in his hands and kissed me. He seemed to be all over me, pressing down on my breasts, his legs inserted between mine. I could feel his erection against my mound.

  When he lifted his head, I said, “Alex, why are we out here in the snow?”

  “Because I don’t want our first time to be in a car. And if we had stayed inside, it would be.”

  I looked up at his dark face so serious and I smiled. “What makes you think our first time won’t be out in the snow?”

  “Because it’s too damn cold. Now will you shut up about being a stranger in my family and come home with me?” He kissed me again with a fierceness that told me Alex Cameron was a man who could feel a very strong emotion. Then he trundled me back into the car, said shit under his breath, a word I’d never, ever heard him use. Then he swung the car around and gunned it onto the main street

  Chapter 4

  It’s probably not the best thing in the world to be in the bosom of your intended lover’s family so aroused that you can hardly think. But I’m a healthy female animal in the prime of life and I had gone three long years without any sexual activity. To suddenly be made aware that Alex wanted me as much as I wanted him was too much stimulation for my body to take.

  The dining table was laid out in a buffet, thank heaven, not a sit down dinner and the family stood about with plates of finger food, talking in little groups. Alex was on the other side of the room, deep in conversation with Justin and Hunter.

  Lynne strolled up to me. “Don’t mind them. It’s always like this at a family gathering. They always think of some business deal they need to consult with each other about. It’s pretty annoying but you’ll get used to it.”

  “Will I?”

  “Oh, yeah.” She plucked an olive from her plate and popped it in her mouth. “We were all wondering what took you two so long to get here.”

  “We…Alex stopped the car and we had a discussion.”

  “Umm. Fallen for him hard, have you?”

  “What makes you think that?” I thought of picking up a cheese square from my plate and eating it, but I was afraid I’d choke on it.

  “The way you look at him. I’m sure I don’t understand how you could fall in love with him when you work with him every day of the week and can plainly see what an ass he is.”

  “He’s not an ass. He’s just…driven.”

  “Well, heaven knows there won’t be
any surprises for you. You know each other too well.”

  How odd that she should say that. I felt as if I didn’t know Alex at all. He kept so much of himself hidden. He had a secret he was carrying. And it was a heavy burden.

  The evening ended with Alex pulling up in front of my building. I didn’t know what to say or do. If he stayed parked where he was, it meant he was leaving, as there was no parking on this side of the street on Saturday.

  Suddenly he swung around and parked on the other side. “This is a mistake,” he growled, “but it’s too late now.”

  I shivered, not from the cold, but from anticipation. He opened my door for me and I climbed out. The Rochester cold and wind slammed me in the face. He grabbed my hand and we ran across the street in the dark and the snow. At the door to my building, he said, “Inside, before we freeze our butts off.”

  He pressed the button for the old fashioned wrought iron elevator to come down and fetch us. When it arrived, he used a hand on my back to guide me inside. When the elevator began to rise, he removed his hand and stood slightly apart from me. By now, I was so confused and aroused, I didn’t know what to think. I only knew that Alex was coming into my apartment. At my heavy wooden door, it only took me three tries to get the key in the lock.

  “Are you nervous,” he asked in that throaty voice I loved so much.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Me, too.”

  I didn’t know what to make of that odd admission. Weren’t men supposed to be all macho and self-confident? Alex certainly was in his business dealings. I’d seen him take down a liar at ten paces.

  I’d installed coat hooks just inside the door on a wall of wood. “You can hang your coat there.”

  Slowly, carefully, he hung up his and then held out his hand for mine. I shrugged out of it and gave it to him. He hung it next to his. I stood there, smoothing down my dress, trying to think what I had to drink. I wasn’t a beer drinker, but I did have some wine that…

  “I didn’t tell you how lovely you look.”

  “That’s all right,” I said, trying on a smile. “I didn’t tell you how handsome you look. Would you like some coffee?”

  He grabbed me and pushed me up against the wood wall. I could feel its hardness against my back. I could feel Alex’s hardness against my front. “I don’t want any damned coffee. And I don’t think you do, either.”

  “No,” I said, my voice husky with my own need. “I don’t want any damned coffee.”

  He kissed me then, and I was so relieved that I opened my mouth for him even while I put my hand between us to rub his penis through the cloth of his pants.

  He lifted his head. “And I thought you were shy.”

  I gave him a smile of pure seduction. “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do. “

  “We should,’ he said, while he slid his hand up my thigh, damn, why did I have to wear pantyhose, “think about this.” He went all the way up to my waist and inserted his fingers under the elastic, bringing the nylon down over my hips.

  “We definitely should think about this,” I said, unzipping his fly and finding the access to him through his briefs, “this isn’t something we should jump into.”

  “We’re sane, reasonable people,” he said. He found me and fondled my nub and it was lovely, lovely. “You know as well as I do that we should use our heads and not… Wait.”

  “I’m all for not waiting,” I said.

  “No, I mean wait. I don’t have any protection. And my guess is, you’re not on birth control pills.”

  He withdrew his hand and I let go of him. I couldn‘t believe this. We‘d come this far and he had just now remembered he didn‘t have a condom? “You didn’t…bring anything?”

  “No. I thought I could keep this from happening.” I was still in his arms and we were practically nose to nose. “Damn it, Susan. You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had.”

  I stepped out of his arms and reached under my dress to yank up my pantyhose. Those darn things were almost better than a chastity belt. “I wasn’t aware that having sex with a man I adore on my own time would make me any less efficient.”

  His face changed, and he looked slightly less tortured. That mouth, that wonderful mouth was turned up in a smile. “And do you?”

  “Do I what?” I was still pulling my dress down, trying to recover some of my scattered poise.

  “Adore me?” He reached out to put his hands on my shoulders but I backed away. I couldn’t bear to have him touch me just now.

  “You must know I do.” I glared at him. “Except not so much at the moment. You really shouldn’t ask a frustrated woman what she thinks of you when she’s at the height of her frustration. Every man in the world walks around with a condom in his pocket. But not you. Oh, no, not you.”

  “I’ll go to the drugstore right now.”

  I shook my head. “Forget it. The moment is gone. I’ll go and make that coffee.”

  “It might be a better idea if I just…went.”

  I looked him straight in the eye. “That might be the best idea you’ve had all night.”

  “Ouch,” he said, clutching his chest. “That one went right to the heart.”

  “Are you sure you have one?” I was in rare form and I wasn’t about to give him any slack.

  “Pretty sure. Will you kiss me goodnight?”

  “I’d rather kiss a cobra.”

  “If I see one on the way home, I’ll tell him your lips are ready.”

  “Alex?”

  “Yes, Susan?” He looked so…Alex. So unmoved, so cool. Why didn’t he feel the same frustration as I did?

  “I don’t care if you are my boss. In about two seconds, I’m going to throw my shoe at you.”

  “Goodnight, Susan. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He turned to go and just for good measure, I took off my shoe and hauled it back as if I were going to throw it. He got that heavy door open in double quick time and disappeared through it.

  Chapter 5

  I spent the first half of the night, thinking I’d march into Alex’s office Monday morning and turn in my two week notice. I spent the last half of the night worrying that Alex might fire me. In between I agonized over loving a man who was just so….weird. Because my night was such a mess, I slept the next day until one o’clock. I got up and looked out the window. Snowing again. I wasn’t the kind of a girl who strapped on her snow shoes and went merrily shushing through the snow. I hated snow. I’d stay home wrapped in a cozy blanket in front of the fireplace. But I didn’t want to be alone. I needed Betsy.

  On the phone, she said she’d be delighted to come over and do movies and popcorn with me. The weather was that damp January cold that seeps through your skin. I knew her little Beetle was old and didn’t have a good heater. “Do you want me to come and get you?” I had a Lexus I bought right after Alex had given me that gigantic raise.

  Betsy was her usual cheerful self. “Don’t be silly. It’s only ten minutes to your place. I’ll be there in a jiff.”

  A strong dose of Betsy was exactly what the doctor ordered.

  I put on a comfy pair of lounging pajamas that had elephants marching up and down with their trunks up. An elephant with its trunk up was supposed to be good luck. I needed that luck right about now.

  Betsy came in like a good wind blowing the bad air out of my loft. She stomped the snow off her boots, and shed them and her coat in my entryway. I tried to ignore looking at that wood wall and remembering the feel of it against my back and the feel of Alex’s hand inside me.

  We popped popcorn and made fudge, my perfect winter activities. We found an old Alan Ladd movie on TCM and settled in with a popcorn bowl and a plate of fudge laid out on my industrial coffee table.

  When the movie turned to herds of cattle stampeding everywhere, Betsy, still looking at the screen, said, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on now or later? Because I’m dying of suspense here.”

  “What makes you think anything is
wrong?” Alan Ladd rode into the fray, diverting the cattle away from the upturned carriage with the little boy in it who happened to be his son in real life.

  “You haven’t called me in weeks.”

  The old man carried the little boy safely out of the way of the cattle. Thank goodness. “I haven’t had time.”

  “So.” Betsy bounced a little in anticipation. “What’s going on?”

  “Oh, you know. Just the usual.” I kept my tone casual, as if I were talking about the weather. “Working hard, going blind reading contracts, dying to have sex with my boss.”

  Betsy sat up and nearly spilled popcorn all over my couch. “Are you crazy? You were just in a mess like that a few years ago.”

  “I know, but this is entirely different. Alex is single, he’s gorgeous and he’s a mystery.”

  “Dynamite qualities in any man.”

  “Besides that, I love him, and I practically told him so.”

  “How can you tell a man you “practically” love him?” She did that wiggle thing with her fingers to indicate quotes.

  “I told him I adored him.”

  “What did he say to that? Sayonara, see ya around?”

  “I don’t remember exactly what he said. He didn’t run screaming from the room, if that’s what you mean. Have you ever been dancing with someone and the lights go out? You’re in complete darkness. You know the person is there, but you can‘t see his face. That‘s what it‘s like with Alex. I’m…dancing in the dark.”

  “Susan, you can’t get involved with him. Look at what you have.” She swept her hand around indicating my super cool loft. “I don’t know what you’re making, but it must be a fantastic salary.”

  “It is,” I said ruefully.

  “You didn’t ask for my advice, but I’m giving it anyway. Don’t go there, Suze. Don’t get involved with him personally. You know how it would end. You think he’d marry you, his lowly assistant? Fat chance. He’s a Cameron, babe. He’s practically nobility. His mother is nobility. He’s a blue blood with tons of green. When the affair is over, you’re out on your keester. Lovely loft, lovely car, lovely money, gone.”