Biohackers: Cybernetic Agents

by Dean C. Moore

  Elsa knew Sabrina was referring to The Magnificent Seven. “It’s time you started living up to the bitch goddess that you are,” Sabrina said, handing Elsa an 8” x 10” iPad.

  “Why do you have me looking at the President of Uganda?”

  “The pig tortures and mutilates homosexuals. Women don’t fare a hell of a lot better under his rule. It’s time for a regime change. You and the girls are heading there to see to the coup. But you’ll run the ops. They’ll answer t you; you call all the shots.”

  “Why?”

  “Look, you can go back to your hippy-dippy commune if you like and your little love-ins. Make peace, not war, and all that. The world needs those types too. But that’s not who you are, is it? You can’t stand to see people abused the way you were abused. You need to act. You need to purify the earth of the vermin that would seek to rob each of us of our humanity.”

  “It’s who I was,” she said limply, feeling her body relax against her will. “I’m not sure it’s who I am anymore.”

  “So Roman got through to you more than you let on, did he? No worries. Lover boy is on his way.”

  “What?! Why?!”

  “To free you, of course. Gearing up for a battle royal with the sisters and me. Hate to disappoint him but he can take you if you want. If that’s your choice, that is, to go with him.”

  “Thought you wanted to destroy him at all costs.”

  Sabrina took a step towards the adjustable light over the dentist’s chair. “That was the plan. The epic confrontation was going to go out live. But plans change.” She flicked off the spotlight. “There’s a new player in town.”

  “Ethan.”

  “Yes. Might have guessed he’d turn out to be an even more worthy adversary for me.”

  “As opposed to Roman’s neuronet?”

  Sabrina shrugged. “The court’s still out on what Roman can actually do. That’s why I’m hoping he’ll elect to go with you when you refuse to go back. We’ll all get a better sense of what he can do then. After I’ve seen him in action, I might well promote him back to chief adversary. But somehow I doubt it.”

  “I won’t lead the lamb to slaughter for you.”

  Sabrina took a step towards the wall and pressed a button that caused the dentist’s chair to fold up and start receding into the floor. “Rumors are that each time you use the neuronet, it changes you. Each time he tries to match his warrior goddess move for move,” she said, running her finger across Elsa, “the more the man of peace becomes the man of war. If you don’t like him in that guise, his being by your side will be your best chance at steering him down another path.”

  “And if I decide instead to go back with him?”

  “And hope that his brainwashing will take eventually? How long do you think you’ll have to act the part of actually loving him, playing the yin to his yang? As the woman of peace? How many years before you concede there was really never any hope to begin with? Wishing for a thing to be true, doesn’t make it so. Maybe for people like him, but not for people like us.”

  Sabrina backed away, towards the door. “If you truly want to steer yourself down another path, then you have to finish draining the electrical charge that surrounds you in the role of warrior goddess. Until that role starts to wear thin on you the way the woman of peace wears thin on you now. You know I’m right.”

  Elsa came in late on the beat, only because she hated to agree with Sabrina. But finally she conceded. “Yes, I know. I also know that you’re betting that he’ll turn into a god of war long before I turn into a goddess of peace.”

  Sabrina threw up her arms demonstratively. “Either way, I end up with another enforcer. Maybe two, if you’re truly inseparable. We’re heading into more challenging times. Couldn’t hurt to swell the ranks.”

  “Fine. Download everything you have on this Ugandan President bastard to my mindchip, any of your political savvy I’m going to need, and everything on the girls and their prior missions so I have a good sense how to use them to their full potential.”

  Sabrina smiled. “Welcome home, Elsa.”

  She sent instructions to the nano hive mind she’d placed in Roman’s body earlier to self-dissolve. With the way things were playing out, there was no way she was going to risk a new asset like this.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Ethan was stuffing a backpack on the bed inside his yurt, not entirely sure what a god of war needed before heading off to rescue the woman of his dreams. All he could think of so far was a toothbrush, and some granola bars. He was taking a lot on faith that what Hatter said was true, and that the requisite skills would kick in when needed.

  He’d just thrown in the granola bars when his brain trust entered and completed the circle of people around the bed. He was suddenly conscious of the fact that now not only was he staring at the empty bed but so were they. It had to be pretty evident to them what was on his mind.

  “Ethan’s been in touch,” Orion said. “Apparently the years of toil we expected in creating this brighter world of the future for all of us are no longer needed. The problem’s been handled. Freeing us up to come with you.”

  “Thanks, but no thanks. Last I checked, I was the only god of war around here, as foolish as that sounds. I gather…”

  “Yes, we were spying on your exchange with Hatter,” Anoki confirmed. “I suppose,” he said, rubbing his chin, “it would make more sense for us to make the most of the DNA-based neuronets we all inherited. Especially since they have been repurposed by Ethan to help us imagine a better future and to help turn us into the people we want to be in that future.”

  “Say what?” Roman glanced around for some more cuing on what the hell Anoki was talking about but none was forthcoming. With Roman’s mind so fixated on finding Elsa, it was possibly he hadn’t processed everything they’d said earlier.

  It was clear to everyone Anoki was running scenarios in his head to test his own hypothesis. And they were keener to find out the results of that than addressing Roman’s cluelessness. “It’s a safe bet that at least some community members would opt for superhero abilities,” Anoki said.

  Roman shook his head. “I swear I can’t tell whether my neuronet has jumped me to another timeline or not.”

  Orion laughed. “Believe it or not, this is the same one. This is what happens when you have more than just us inventing the future. Situations can get a bit fluid.”

  Roman took a deep breath to relax his mind to Ethan’s broadcast that had gone out to the community but that he’d been too preoccupied to process. Finally, he understood. “Damn!”

  Everyone was suddenly looking at him for cuing on what the hell he was responding to.

  Martha snorted. “Roman just ran Ethan’s broadcast for himself.”

  The ever-cynical, paranoid Neil said, “First operational rule for a god of war, Roman. Go in armed with all the facts.”

  “Yeah, I guess. Sounds like I owe Ethan a huge debt of thanks.”

  “We all do,” Martha said. “Trying to solve the how-to-build-a-better-world problem with any tech we could have come up with, including how to snatch up underutilized EMF spectrum for networking with biohackers across the globe under the power elite’s very noses—well, it would have been trying to say the least.”

  “Guys, I’ll have to join you for the victory lap later. Right now, I have the pressing problem of how to rescue my girlfriend.” He hoisted his backpack over his shoulder. “As to the rest of you trying to turn yourself into superheroes so we can make an X-Men-like adventure out of this, well… you heard Alexa, you can’t force people to become who they don’t want to be, not even to help a friend.”

  “You might want to heed your own advice when it comes to Elsa, Roman,” Anoki said. “Odds are that she will choose to stay with The Magnificent Seven. They’re much more her peeps than we are.”

  “You can bet I’ll have something to say about that.” Roman was already hiking towards the door.

  “Smart money says Elsa’ll do better
at changing you than you will at changing her,” Anoki warned, “with what we now know of the neuronet.”

  “The truth is we don’t know anything about the neuronet. It’s all just speculation.”

  “Says a man who doesn’t mind sidestepping around the truth when it gets in his way,” Orion said trying to block his exit.

  Sure enough Roman sidestepped around him and was out the door.

  “Let’s see him get away from my grip,” Orion thundered, going after him.

  “Don’t bother,” Anoki said. “I’ve run the simulations. There’s no stopping him.”

  Martha grimaced. “I’ll see what I can do to put him under surveillance. That way Orion will have what he needs to make the most informed decisions on how best to hack his neuronet if that starts to look like the only option to rescue him from the dark side. And Anoki can run scenarios on the effects of the hack.”

  “Oh, yeah, like hacking that neuronet is a good idea,” Neil balked.

  “Not now, Neil!” everyone yelled at him.

  ***

  Roman hiked down to the nearest paved road from camp. It had been a couple hour jaunt. He found a taxi waiting for him in the middle of nowhere.

  One of the pawns clambered out and opened the door for him. “You’re kidding, right?” Roman said.

  “The queen of darkness is always open to visitors. It’s one of those ‘you can come and go anytime you like’ deals, you can just never leave.”

  “She captured the love of my life and you’re being droll about it?”

  The pawn shrugged. “Since I’m now under strict orders not to kill you, I’m left only with passive-aggressive digs. Think how I feel. Life was so much less boring when killing you was all I lived for.”

  Roman got in and the pawn slammed the door on him. Then took his place behind the driver’s seat. Turned the engine over. And launched them down the road at Mach 2.

  “How did you know I’d end up where I did?”

  “Only one trail leads directly to a road where someone could hope to pick up a ride. We pawns aren’t exactly known for our Machiavellian genius, but give us some credit.”

  He kept just one hand on the steering wheel, and the other resting on the window sill of the rolled down window. The sound of the wind outside made it feel like they were at the beach. “Preston, by the way. We have names in case you were wondering,” his driver said.

  “I wasn’t.”

  “Actually picked up a fare on the way out here just to kill the monotony. I can’t believe I’ve sunk this low. The poor sap couldn’t stop talking about all the people he killed and how he was going to kill me. Can you believe it? Just my luck to pick up a serial killer. We ended up bonding. Now at least I have someone to go get drunk with, until the queen bitch has some use for us pawns again.”

  “Maybe you should consider forming a support group, for serial killers.” Roman’s remark was meant to register as the whipping lash of dry sarcasm. Preston didn’t exactly take it that way. His eyes lit up.

  “Genius! Come to think of it, I read a book one time where these serial killers met in a support group. Yeah, Born F.R.E.E., that’s it, by Dean C. Moore. Funniest damn book I’ve ever read. Appreciate you shaking the idea loose in my head.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “To meet your girlfriend. She’s boarding a plane for Uganda with Sabrina’s enforcers.”

  Roman was in the middle of cracking his neck, holding his head in both hands. At the clone’s words, he wondered if he should keep twisting in the direction he was heading until his head was all the way off. “Come again?”

  “She’s agreed to assassinate him and orchestrate the coup to switch the country over to a more benign regime, one that doesn’t involve mass torture and beheadings of homosexuals and oppression of women. Honestly, I don’t know what all the fuss is about.”

  Roman groaned. Rubbed his eyes, hoping his vision would clear up enough to see a better way through this. No such luck. Just made things temporarily worse.

  “They’ve agreed to hold the plane for me?”

  “Oh, you’re piloting it.”

  Roman met his eyes in the rearview mirror. “I don’t know anything about piloting planes!”

  Preston harrumphed. “Maybe I should come along. Promises to be a fun ride.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  Preston looked surprise.

  “When I entertain notions of killing my girlfriend, you can help me to divert my rage on to you.”

  “You’d do that for me?” Preston wiped a mock tear. “I want you to know, I’d do the same for you.”

  “Can you download the plane’s specs to me? Maybe I can figure out how to pilot the damn plane between here and the time we get there.”

  Preston did as requested, pulsing the data to Roman’s neuronet.

  “Shiiit! Is there anything about you people that’s easy to swallow?”

  Preston had to know the question was rhetorical, but chose to ponder it anyway, judging by his suddenly introspective demeanor and distant eyes. “No, not really.”

  ***

  Roman used the rest of the car ride to imagine how things might have developed between him and Elsa. The additional dates they could have gone on. The heart-to-heart conversations they might have shared. It was time to rehearse being right with one another in the virtual world even if they could never quite get right with one another in the real world. He needed to do so more now than ever. Not just because the old Elsa, the one he knew and loved, was gone and he was mourning both what was and what might have been. But because if everything the brain trust was saying about his neuronet was true, then this chalk board in his head he was penciling in now might be the only thing either of them would have to hold on to if they were ever to find their way back to one another.

  ***

  Virtual reality take on Roman and Elsa… saved to backup file of neuronet…

  “What are we doing in a canoe, pretty boy?” Elsa said, lying on her back facing him from the opposite end of the craft. She was picking brambles out of her hair and flicking them into the water.

  Roman was still trying to find his rhythm with the rowing. “I saw this scene in a French movie once. Thought it was romantic.”

  “You would.”

  “Don’t you?”

  She took in the pastoral countryside in springtime along the banks to either side, the rolling meadows, the occasional cottage. Everything from the dandelion weeds to the pine trees was blossoming. Butterflies were skittering from flower to flower, competing with the bees for worthy perches. The sun felt warm against her, the breeze divine. “Honestly, the whole thing makes me gag. Give me the smokestacks along the riverbanks of New Jersey any day, dead fish floating in the river, chemical odors bubbling up from the toxic ooze, the orange-yellow smog-ridden skies.”

  Roman smiled. “Knew I should have gone with T. S. Elliot’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock or The Wasteland for ambiance over a Renoir movie.”

  She smiled half-heartedly back at him. “Seriously, pretty boy, what are we going to do about your eternally sun-shiny personality? It’s damn irritating after a while.”

  “You realize the more you’re eternally focused on the dark side of life, the more I feel a need to compensate? For all you know, I’m the most well-rounded person you’ve ever met, and that goes for my moods. But you being what you are, kind of limits my options.”

  She refused to be baited. “You realize this is an aluminum boat? And you’re dating a girl who attracts lightning?”

  “I thought we could keep reviving one another after every lightning strike. They say people who’ve experienced near-death experiences come back forever changed. More at peace with themselves and the world. Tell me we both couldn’t use a little of that.”

  She smiled despite herself, but didn’t let her lips stretch too far, far less expose her teeth, before reining in the reaction. “Come on, let’s scurry to shore. Seeing you making a determined effort
to flex your muscles every time you row just to entice me to jump your bones reeks of adolescent desperation.”

  “Sorry, forgot you went in for those older, more decrepit types, beaten down, tempered by misery and untold suffering, forever pondering their death and their final escape from this hell hole of life.”

  “Don’t try to antagonize me because I prefer an old comfortable pair of shoes to a brand new pair that isn’t broken in yet.”

  He rowed them ashore and helped her out of the boat. It was really just an excuse to touch her. Pull her towards him. And kiss her. “You’ll find I have many more baited traps set for you today,” he said as she pushed away from him.

  “If you’re planning to wear me down with your witty repartee, I should warn you, I consider humor the refuge of the weak-minded, unable to deal with life with the appropriate anger and violence it deserves.”

  He made a timeout gesture. “Could you at least try to work with me? It’s Spring. Romance is in the air. Consider it a vacation from the eternal darkness of a spot-ridden mind.” His gesturing had continued unabated, growing in intensity. “The whole point of this fantasy get together was so we wouldn’t feel forever stuck at the foot of the mountain, unable to take the first step towards the summit where we actually meet and make love.”

  She leaned in, bit his lip, stretched it back as if it were a rubber band before releasing it. “Relax, Romeo. I’m just busting your balls. I swear, you’re such an easy mark. It’s fun seeing you break a sweat to romance a girl for a change.” She parted her hair like pulling the drapes up behind her ears. The long flowing strands, like a frozen waterfall, remarkably well behaved considering the breeze.

  They were walking away from the river. “Look, it’s a swing set up ahead,” he said.

  “What, are we six?”

  “Says the girl whose inner six-year old could stand a definite makeover. You want to change your sour attitude towards life, best to go back to the beginning where it all started.”