The Experiment
Page 58
“So what went wrong?”
I sigh. “Grace found the stuff in my room right before I was going to leave. She told my mom, who promptly lost her shit and interrogated me about it. I ended up confessing what I had planned, and she told me never to see Chance again.”
Kelsey’s eyes are soft as she reaches out to take my hand.
“That must have been so hard for you.”
“It was,” I say. “Part of me wanted to just slap her face and storm out of our house. I’d pick up Chance and we’d head out into the world together, come what may.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No. I mean, she was my mother, and I knew she had a mental illness, even if it was never officially diagnosed. It didn’t help that she self-medicated with alcohol and painkillers. I couldn’t just abandon her, especially now that Dad was gone.”
“You gotta keep going, girl,” Kelsey says. “I’m on pins and needles here.”
I feel the familiar ache in my throat that signals the tears are about to start. I’ve kept this all bottled up inside me for such a long time.
“I called Chance and made up a lame excuse,” I say. “He told me it was okay, but I could tell by his voice that he was disappointed. I didn’t see him for a few days after that because I was dealing with Mom.
“Meanwhile, Chance was having his own problems with the foster parents he was supposed to be living with. They told him he needed to show up for visits with child services or they wouldn’t get their money. Otherwise, they didn’t give a shit where he was. He told them to go fuck themselves.
“Anyway, he called me the night of his eighteenth birthday and told me he was coming over. He showed up at my door carrying a duffel bag with everything he owned, which wasn’t much. He begged me to come with him, said he was going to join the Marines and we could get married and start our own family, to hell with everyone. It was everything I’d ever wished for.”
Kelsey nods. “And yet you didn’t go.”
The tears that have been threatening to fall finally spill down my cheeks.
“While Chance was standing outside the door, telling me that he didn’t want to live without me, my mom was standing on the other side with the tip of a butcher knife against her throat.”
Kelsey gasps and covers her mouth with her hand. Suddenly I feel sorry for burdening her with all this. But I’ve come this far, I might as well finish.
“She was blasted out of her mind on gin and OxyContin,” I say. “If I had left with Chance, she would have driven that blade right through her jugular and left Grace on her own. What choice did I have?”
“So what did you do?”
“I told Chance to go without me.”
The memory runs over me like a steamroller. His gray eyes – they turned to pure lead as he realized what I was saying. I was abandoning him. The one person he thought he could always count on.
Kelsey lets out a low whistle. “So your mom didn’t kill herself?”
“Not that night,” I say with a bitter chuckle. “It took another four years for her to drive her car into the Delaware, drunk off her ass. She drowned. By then, I’d already graduated from the all-girl college she’d shipped me off to.”
Kelsey leans against the mirror on the wall behind us and lets out a deep breath as I wipe my eyes with my palms.
“That is one hell of a story, Sara,” she says, pulling me into her strong arms. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”
“Yeah,” I sniff. “Me too.”
“It definitely explains a lot.”
“I guess it does. I avoid thinking about it consciously as much as I can, just so that I don’t have to go through moments like this very often.”
She cups my cheek in her palm and smiles. “That’s a smart strategy.”
“Never really thought of it that way,” I say, taking a deep breath of my own. “It’s probably more instinct than strategy.”
“Whatever, as long as it works.”
“So,” I say, managing a smile. “Still think I’m just horny?”
Kelsey’s eyes pop out as she snorts a giggle, and in a few seconds we're both doubled over with laughter. I think it’s more catharsis than actual humor, but boy does it ever feel good.
Chapter One Hundred Eight
15. SARA
Back in my apartment, I lie awake on the coverlet of my bed, thinking about everything this crazy day. An empty wine glass sits on the night table beside me next to my cracked iPhone.
Talking with Kelsey tonight really helped me get a handle on my feelings. The initial shock was natural, but I didn’t realize how much anger and frustration I still had tied up in those teen years. Nothing ever seemed to go right back then – except, of course, when I was with Chance.
Seeing him again today was a reminder of all the things I could have had in my life, and it brought back all the shame and bitter resentment I felt at being forced to let him go.
And, despite all of our joking about it, I have to admit that Kelsey was also right about something else: it made me horny as hell.
Chance strides into my mind’s eye without permission. I see those lines under the shiny material of his golf shirt, the angles that define his torso, the long, steely muscles that line his arms. The Marines definitely honed him, as Tre said, but not just his will. It turned his body into something you’d see on the cover of a fitness magazine.
I imagine Chance shirtless, in army fatigue pants, climbing through a muddy obstacle course. Sweating and panting, climbing over walls and crawling through muck that drenches his pants and makes them stick to his legs.
My mind wanders along with my hand as it creeps down the front of my nightgown. Images of a younger Chance mingle with these new ones, combined with memories of our nights together, holding each other, feeling each other’s heartbeat, tasting each other’s mouths.
In no time at all, the heat between my legs becomes a furnace, then a raging fire. It’s been a while, but I learned how to take care of myself a long time ago, in every sense of the word. I imagine what he would look like naked – his manhood full and ready to go, him climbing on top of me to finally finish what we should have done so long ago.
I last less than thirty seconds once my fingers go to work down there, pressing hard against my button. This is a release I desperately needed, even though I didn’t realize it. I swear I can feel the heat of Chance’s bare skin against me as the wave emanates outwards from the junction of my thighs like an earthquake.
A few more muffled groans and it starts to subside. Finally it stops, leaving me lying there, panting, staring at the ceiling. It may not have resolved anything, but at least I feel better. Like I can actually walk back into Atlas tomorrow morning and take care of business.
Business that just so happens to be hunting down the dirty secrets of the only man I ever loved.
It’s going to be a looonngg month.
Chapter One Hundred Nine
16. CHANCE
My phone buzzes on the polished surface of my desk right at 8:30 a.m., almost twelve hours to the minute after I woke up last night and realized I needed to take a whole different approach to the situation if I want to hold onto Atlas.
The text is what I expected: She’s here.
I take a quick glance in the mirror on the wall as I head for my office door: Not too shabby. Satin shirt with an extra button open and my favorite slacks, the ones a woman once said made my ass look like two golf balls wrapped in a handkerchief.
Get ready, Sara Bishop. You’re about to meet the all-new Chance.
I turn left in the hallway, toward the lobby. As planned, I almost walk right into Sara.
Oh!” she says, obviously startled. “Sorry. I almost ran into you again. I need to stop doing that.”
It’s showtime.
“It’s my fault,” I say, taking a moment to admire the curve-hugging green dress she’s wearing. “And I don’t mean just this. I mean yesterday. I’m really sorry, Sara.”
“Uh,” she says. “Really, you don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“Yes, I do. I was petty, and as a Marine, I should expect better from myself.”
“It’s understandable. I mean, it was the first time we’ve seen each other since… well, you know.”
I nod. “Still, I should have left bygones in the past and just told you how happy I was to see you. Because I was, you know.”
That’s it, Chance. Lay it on thick.
Her eyes are still wide. “You were?”
“Of course. I still am, Sara. We meant a lot to each other for a long time. What happened between us that one night fifteen years ago doesn’t change everything that came before it.”
Okay, Chance, settle down before you start believing this stuff yourself.
She smiles. “I’m really glad to hear you say that. And I want you to know, this isn’t personal at all. It’s just business.”
“Of course. And I want you to feel welcome here at Atlas. Whatever you need, just ask Tre and he’ll make it happen for you.”
“That will make things a lot easier,” she says, looking relieved. “The sooner I can get done with this, the sooner I can tell Quentin that he’s chasing his tail. You’re the most honorable person I’ve ever known, Chance.”
That catches me off guard and makes me suddenly wistful for those days. It was a tough life, sure, but at least it wasn’t overshadowed by secrets and lies.
Shake it off, Chance. I know that Pearce is definitely not chasing his tail, but there’s no way in hell I’m ever going to let him know that.
“That’d suit me just fine,” I say. “I’m sorry about how I acted yesterday; I just don’t like the guy.”
Sara leans in close. “I don’t think anyone does,” she whispers. “Including me.”
That’s good to know, but hardly surprising. After I gave myself some time to think about it last night, I realized that Sara wouldn’t have taken the job to get back at me. She’s not like that.
“He really is a shit, isn’t he?”
“I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me.”
I grin. “Then let’s stop talking about him. Feel free to do what you have to do, and if anyone here has a problem with you, tell them I said to take it up with me.”
“I’m sure it won’t come to that,” she says with a smile of her own.
I snap my fingers. “Hey, are you free tonight? I was thinking maybe we could catch up over dinner.”
“Sure,” she says, obviously surprised. “I’d really like that.”
“Great,” I say. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Where should we meet?”
“Give me an address and I’ll have my driver come and pick you up.”
She taps her phone a few times and I hear a ding. The screen of my mobile shows her contact info.
“You gave me your cell number yesterday,” she says sheepishly.
“And I’m glad I did. Get in touch anytime.”
“Okay,” she says, still smiling
“Awesome,” I say. Why do I feel like a teenager who finally got his crush to go out with him?
“See you tonight.” She turns and walks down the hall, then stops and turns back to me with a little wave.
I wave back, grinning like an idiot.
Smarten up, Marine! This isn’t high school!
She disappears around the corner, leaving me to stand there and wonder what the hell I’m getting into.
Chapter One Hundred Ten
17. SARA
“He’s so hot.”
“Excuse me?” I say, looking up from my yellow notepad.
“Sorry,” Karen says, blushing. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
I chuckle. “It’s okay. You’re the only one who’s called Chance ‘hot’ so far.” I riffle through my notes. “I’ve got ‘war hero,’ ‘best boss ever,’ ‘honorable,’ ‘generous.’ Now I can add ‘hot’ to the list. What I don’t have is anyone with anything negative to say about him.”
Her eyes widen. “Of course not,” she says. “We all love him. I can’t imagine working anywhere else. He and Tre just make everyone feel so important, like we’re all a key part of the company. Everyone from the field operatives all the way down to admins like me.”
It all seems too good to be true, but am I really surprised? Sure, Chance was a rough-edged kid, but he had a heart like no one else I’ve ever known. He was just as likely to feed a stray dog as he was to punch out a kid who picked on me. I’ve never known anyone more loyal, and I can only imagine the Marines helped him focus that trait, too.
“So you really knew him when he was young?” she asks. It makes me wonder briefly if she can read minds like Kelsey.
“Yeah,” I say. “We were… friends for a long time.”
She smiles dreamily. “I bet every girl in school wanted him.”
I smile but say nothing. There were a few others who saw what was inside, but he only had eyes for me.
And I had to let him go.
“When did you start working here?” I ask.
“Right around the time Mr. Sullivan hired Chance.”
“So you knew Sully?”
She nods. “He was my first boss.”
“And you were in the front row as the company went into its expansion phase.”
“Uh-huh. What a time that was. It seemed like every few weeks, I was getting another raise. They hired tons of people when Tre took over as vice president. And now here we are today.”
She leans close. “Do you think the Sullivans are going to sell?” she whispers.
“I can’t say.”
“I hope not,” she says. “Atlas is like my family. I don’t want to work anywhere else.”
“Where did the capital come from for the expansion?” I ask.
She shrugs. “That all happened when Sully was the sole proprietor,” she says. “Before we issued any shares. I assume he’d been saving for it. I never really thought about it.”
Hmm. I don’t know if that rings an alarm bell, exactly, but it seems a little unusual.
“Did he maybe have an outside investor?”
“It’s possible, but if it was anyone other than his family, they didn’t get any stock for it.”
I file it away for later.
“So you’re happy with your compensation?”
“Oh, very,” she says, her eyes lighting up. “Salary plus bonuses. Great pension, matching contributions for college funds. Like I said, it’s a great place to work.”
And Quentin Pearce wants it. I hate to think this, but if he succeeds in buying Atlas, I can’t imagine him keeping the perks. Or the wages. Maybe not even the people. The more I learn about Atlas, the more I feel like some sort of hatchet woman.
Come on, Sara, you had to have known that would be part of it. People don’t hire someone for $150,000 for a month’s work just to have them interview people.
“All right,” I say with a smile I don’t feel. “Thanks very much for your time, Karen.”
She stands up and takes my offered hand.
“It’s my pleasure,” she says. “I really hope the sale doesn’t go through. Sorry, that’s probably not what you want to hear.”
“You’re certainly not the only one,” I say, sidestepping the comment. “It sounds like Atlas is a wonderful company to work for.”
“It sure is,” she says. “Maybe if the sale falls through, you could come work for us!”
I smile as she leaves the office. I seriously doubt they’d have me, I don’t say.
Chapter One Hundred Eleven
18. CHANCE
“What kind of dumbass plan is that?”
“Whaddaya mean?” I say. “It’s brilliant.”
Tre shakes his head. “Why the hell would you want to string along the one girl who actually meant something to you?”
He’s obviousl
y not getting this.
“I don’t buy this ‘coincidence’ line they’re spinning,” I say. “Pearce hired Sara for a reason, I know it. If I get closer to her, I might be able to uncover it.”
“What reason? What benefit would there be?”
“He wanted someone who knows me, so it would be easier to dig up dirt on me.”
“So he hires your high school girlfriend from before you joined the Marines?” he says, rolling his eyes. “Are you listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth? If he was trying to get someone to get close to you, wouldn’t he have found one of your most recent conquests instead of scouring your old yearbooks? Or found a buddy you served with in Iraq or something?”
I hate that he’s smarter than me. It always makes me second-guess myself. The fact that he’s usually right is beside the point.
“All right, all right,” I say. “I’ll give you that. But I can’t shake this hunch that there’s something going on there.”
“Look, I get it,” he says. “And I know trusting your hunches saved a lot of lives in Iraq. But this situation is different; you just can’t see it.”
What’s he talking about? This is strategic thinking, my specialty. He’s the businessman, I’m the logistics guy.
“How is it different?” I ask. “And what can’t I see?”
“It’s different because it’s Sara,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “She shows up in your life out of the blue at a time when you’re under huge stress. The only girl you ever cared about. You can’t think strategically in that situation.”
“You’re nuts,” I say. “Sara’s not the only girl I ever cared about.”
“Name another one,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’ve had a dozen women –”
“I know. Name one who had an impact on you like Sara.”
Dammit, he’s got me again.
“I’m not some lost kid anymore,” I say. “I can handle this. Besides, if I had another choice, don’t you think I’d take it? But we both know that there’s a possibility, however slim, that she’ll find out the truth about the expansion capital.”