I revert to the darkest time of my life and sink back into the mind of the frightened child, who lost more than his father that night. I still remember the emptiness in my heart as I waited for news. A lady sat with me and I could hear hushed voices discussing the events that were unfolding all around me. I stared with blank, unseeing eyes, into the abyss and wondered if I would ever make my way back out.
The nurses fussed around me and the lady—a social worker, I think—tried to cheer me up with positivity. As the night wore on the faces around me saddened and the looks they threw me told me everything I needed to know. I sat staring into space, playing with my fingers like Emily did when she unburdened herself to us. My eyes were open but seeing nothing. I prayed hard that night. I prayed for my family to come back to me. For everything to be alright and for my world to be right again.
It never was.
Once again, I feel Emily stir beside me, dragging my attention away from my memories of a childhood destroyed. I can’t help myself and turn to look at the face of an Angel. She is dreaming but this time those dreams are causing her happiness. She sighs and then smiles in her sleep and moves slightly, her arm pulling me close to her. I feel the heat from her body and inhale her sweet scent. I long to run my fingers through her beautiful hair as I slip inside the only place I want to be. I am sure my heart pounding in my chest would wake a dead man but she carries on sleeping peacefully. Her leg rubs against mine and I savor the feel of her. I try to contain the lustful thoughts I have and just focus on memorizing every last detail of her face. Then she turns over and I feel her soft, sweet ass pressed against my dick and once again I am off and running.
And this same pattern is on repeat for most of the night before I think I pass out with exhaustion.
***
Chapter Twenty-Five
Emily
I wake feeling a leg trapping mine and an arm is slung across my stomach anchoring me to the bed. I hear the deep breathing of the man beside me and smile.
I still can’t believe he came back last night. When I woke in his arms, I felt such relief. It was all a nightmare, and I was safe.
I turn and look at the most beautiful sight in the world. How I wish I could wake up with him for the rest of my life.
Jax may be super-hot and a total Rock God, but I can’t help but connect to the lost soul within. I know he has his own demons to conquer; I saw the look in his eyes when he thought no one was looking. I wonder what destroyed him so deeply? He is so intent on helping me and I want nothing more than to return the favor.
My hand itches to stroke the hair from his eyes but I don’t want to disturb the man sleeping beside me. He had a rough night. I heard him get up several times and hope that he’s not coming down with something. That’s all he needs.
I manage to slip out and head to the shower. We have a lot to do today. Once again, we are taking to the road and heading to Lansing. There will be more press and media and the show is once again sold out.
Sighing, I dress in yet another t-shirt and jeans and pull my dark wig on. I wonder if I will ever be able to stop running. It’s hard to envisage this as my life but anything is preferable to what Scott had in store for me.
As he enters my thoughts, I feel the familiar pull on my heart. He will be on his honeymoon, hopefully none the wiser. Now there is distance between us, I find that I can think of him with emotional detachment. For some reason, the memory of him is fading and has been quickly replaced by the man sleeping just a few feet away.
Two more different men you could never wish to find. For all his rough edges, Jax is kind and considerate. He has treated me with care and kindness which has drawn me to him. I love the soft side of him and crave someone to love me for myself and not just want to control me sexually.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. I quickly head out so as not to wake Jax. He had a rough night and needs to lie in a little longer.
I open the door and my heart plummets to the floor. In front of me is the girl from yesterday. The woman I saw kissing Jax backstage, armed with several expensive looking shopping bags.
She smiles at me with excitement and something about her makes me warm to her. Maybe because she is looking at me with interest and has such an open and honest face that it would be hard to dislike anything about her. She grins.
“You must be Emily. I’m Sally, a friend of Jax. Is he up yet?”
Before I can reply I hear a soft voice behind me.
“Hey, Sally. You made it.”
She giggles and I step aside to let her in. Feeling a little unsettled, I say quickly.
“I’ll leave you both alone. I need to meet Eddie, anyway.”
I turn to leave but then a strong arm grips my wrist and Jax says with amusement.
“Sally hasn’t come to see me, Emily. It’s you she wants.”
I look at him with confusion.
“What do you mean?”
He looks almost worried and says quietly.
“Sally is the wife of a friend of mine. I spoke to her last night and asked her for a favor.”
I can’t believe the relief flooding through me. A friend! Thank God. He draws me into the room.
“I asked her to pick up some clothes for you. I knew you were wanting to go and get some but we don’t have time. Sally is about your size so I asked her to pick up some things for you.”
He looks at me anxiously and I stare back at him in astonishment
He smiles softly. “I hope you don’t mind.”
Tears spring to my eyes and he looks at me with such a worried expression I reach up and kiss him gently on the cheek.
“Thank you, Jax. Nobody has ever gone to so much trouble for me before. I can’t believe you even thought of it. I must pay for them. It’s not fair that you should be out of pocket on my behalf.”
He reaches up and touches my lips to silence me and says gruffly.
“I don’t want your money, Emily. I just want to see you smile. I want to be the one to bring you happiness not fear. Let me do this for you and don’t argue.”
I am taken aback and just put my arms around him and squeeze him tightly.
“Thanks, Jax. I mean it- thank you.”
Just for a moment we stand locked together and I crave the feel of these strong arms.
Then he pulls back and grins ruefully.
“I’d better shower and head off to meet the guys. Enjoy yourself, it’s about time you had a few hours off and Sally is a lot of fun. It must be tough putting up with the guys all day with no female company.”
I smile as he turns away. Despite everything that happened to me I wouldn’t change a thing because it brought me here to him. I just hope I get to stay long enough to see where it’s heading.
Jax
I think I am now the cleanest guy in the whole of America. The number of showers I’ve had lately, I won’t be winning any awards for water conservation. Man, this is making me ill.
I leave the girls and head off to Eddie’s room. We are meeting there for a catch up and despite how tired I feel, I feel upbeat as I think of Emily playing all ‘pretty woman’ in my hotel suite. It felt good seeing her smile.
I find the others and laugh. River appears to have passed out on the couch. Tyler has his head in his hands and is groaning. Cody is looking mightily pleased with himself and winks when he sees me coming.
“You look wrecked, Jax. Let me guess, another night of frustration and cold showers.”
Tyler looks up and smiles, although the movement makes him wince.
I sink down in a chair and look at them angrily.
“Well, no prizes for guessing what sort of night you lot had.”
Cody grins.
“Yes, I may have set a record. As you were missing in action I had to deal with your share too.”
River sits up and rubs his eyes.
“All I want is my bed on that bus. You can wake me when we hit Lansing.”
I shake my head and Tyler grin
s.
“So, what happened to you?”
I shrug and sigh heavily.
“I spent the night on guard duty. If those guys had come for Emily, then I could have knocked them out with my dick. I think it stayed hard all night, even the constant showers didn’t stop it. I never knew it was so determined. Even the thought of Cody’s face failed to deflate it.”
Cody winks. “Yeah, well, you’ve always had a thing for me, anyway.”
The guys laugh as I chuck a cushion at his infuriating head, just as Eddie comes in and takes the full force of it.
We all laugh as he throws it back and barks.
“Bloody kids, the lot of you.”
He looks at me sharply.
“Where did you go last night? People were asking, and it was unprofessional.”
I snort. “So, you’d rather I stayed with my dick in a fan whilst conducting an interview with the local radio.”
The guys laugh and Eddie shakes his head.
“You guys will be the death of me. Anyway, where’s Emily?”
The others look at me and grin.
“Yes, Jax. Where’s Emily?” Cody winks and I shrug.
“She’s trying on clothes that Sally brought over. She doesn’t have much so Sally offered to help.”
The room goes quiet and I look around and shrug.
“What?”
Tyler smiles and his eyes sparkle.
“You’ve got it bad, man. You know, I feel sorry for you. You need to stay away from her and yet you can’t. It must be some sort of torture you’re going through.”
I wince, and grin ruefully.
“You could say that.”
Eddie looks worried.
“I wasn’t sure this was a good idea and my worries were well founded it would appear. Do you want me to move her?”
We all look at him in alarm.
Cody yells. “You leave our Emily alone. We are her bodyguards and she won’t be safe without us.”
Eddie raises his eyes.
“Some body guard you are. I saw you guarding many a body last night and none of them was Emily.”
River pipes up.
“I think that honor fell to Jax. Trouble is, in guarding her body he forgot that his own one was feeling the strain.”
We all laugh and Eddie shakes his head.
“Enough about that. We’ve got things to discuss and I want to get off.”
Cody laughs. “You should have a word with Jax then. He’s become quite the master at getting off, haven’t you Jax?”
We all laugh as Eddie puts his head in his hands. “Fucking Rock Stars!”
***
Chapter Twenty-Six
Emily
Sally looks at me and whistles with appreciation. “You look hot, Emily. No wonder Jax wanted me to grab you some new clothes. You’re going to blow his mind.”
I blush but have to admit I feel amazing. I look at her gratefully.
“Thanks, Sally. You have brought me everything I would choose myself. You don’t do this for a living, do you? If you do, you must be highly sought after.”
Sally laughs and winks.
“I’ll keep that in mind. No, I’m a rock widow. My husband is always traveling and working and most of the time I have to tag along if I want to see him. It’s not all bad though. We get treated well and I do get to see the world. Plus, I keep the groupies away.”
I look at her thoughtfully.
“Does it bother you?”
She shakes her head and smiles. “What the groupies? I suppose it used to but Jason makes me feel so desired and loved, I don’t have anything to worry about.”
I smile and think how lucky she is. To have a man who loves you despite any other temptation in their path is every girl’s dream. At least it’s my dream.
She looks at me curiously.
“Are you ok? You’ve gone a little wistful on me.”
Shaking myself, I laugh self-consciously.
“Pay no attention to me. I was just thinking how lucky you are to have someone who loves you.”
She smiles and looks at me with a soft expression.
“Sometimes, what we most desire is right in front of us all the time. We look for it in the places we think it will be and ignore the obvious. Occasionally you need to let your heart do the looking instead of your head. I guess that love isn’t that far away, honey. Stop looking so hard and it will find you—if it hasn’t already that is.”
I help her gather her things and by the time she’s got everything together, I’m feeling a little sad to see her go. Having her here just for the short time we had, has made me realize how much better it is to have a friend to talk to. I miss Helen and hope she catches up with us soon. I have a lot to tell her and could sure use some advice right now.
I walk Sally out and then head towards Eddie’s room. I am wearing an amazing blue figure hugging dress. I haven’t bothered with my wig yet and feel more like myself than I have since I joined the tour. Jeans and t-shirts are fine sometimes but when I put on a dress, I feel sexy and more assured. It’s like my armor against the world and I didn’t realize I had missed it as much as I obviously have.
I hear the voices as I walk in the room and then hear a loud wolf whistle.
I see the stunned expressions around me and Cody shouts.
“Well, well, our Emily is one sexy lady under that hoody. Come and sit on my knee darlin’, and I’ll guard your body.”
I roll my eyes. “No thanks, Cody. You forget, I saw what happened to the last girl you bounced on your knee. I think I’ll sit by myself, thank you.”
The guys laugh and then I catch Jax’s eye. He looks at me with astonishment and then jumps up and charges past me. I look around in confusion as the guys fall about laughing.
Eddie rolls his eyes and I shake my head.
“I hope he’s ok. You know, I’m really worried about him. He was up all night and may be sickening for something. Do you think it’s something he ate?”
I don’t understand why the guys find it so funny. Even Eddie starts to laugh as Tyler says with amusement.
“Yes, I think he’s sickening for something and I’m looking at it.”
I just look at him in confusion as he snorts.
“You really don’t get it, do you darlin’?”
Cody shouts. “Neither is Jax.”
Once again, the guys laugh and Tyler looks at me softly.
“Listen, Emily. Jax appears to have developed a major crush on you, honey. He’s trying to be the good guy you need right now, but it’s driving him mad. Don’t let on you know though. I haven’t had this much fun in years.”
As I take in the meaning of his words, I look at them in shock. Me! Jax likes me! I can’t believe it. I sink down on to a nearby chair and just stare around me in amazement. Wow! Sally was right. This has hit me like a freight train. The trouble is, we have to work together. I’m not sure that it’s such a good thing. I mean, what if he decides to move on and we have to work together? I’ve just got out of one working relationship, should I even be thinking of entering another one? Maybe I should keep away. The trouble is I don’t think my heart will let me.
***
Chapter Twenty-seven
Jax
I’ve only got myself to blame and when Emily walked into that room in that cock busting dress I was off and running. I can’t go on like this, it’s like Groundhog Day and I’ll be exhausted at this rate.
Once I’ve dealt with my problem, I pace around the room thinking—hard. I need to sort this out for all our sakes. Logan is my only hope, I just pray he has something for me, otherwise, I’m at a loss. These guys are no punks from the suburbs. They are the most powerful men in the country and I don’t stand a chance against them. When I texted Logan the names I couldn’t quite believe it myself. I haven’t told Emily but I’ve been looking into them a little myself.
Senator Parker is all over the Internet with pictures of him on honeymoon and various articles in th
e gossip rags. He makes my skin crawl just looking at him. The thought of how he used Emily makes me madder than Hell and I want nothing more than to punch his sorry ass.
Grady Vincent is another sleazy asshole that deserves the same treatment. The thought of him touching Emily at all, let alone in such an intimate way, makes my blood boil.
Despite my digging, there’s not really anything other than what they want the world to see on the Internet. The President himself is squeaky clean by all accounts. He has the seemingly perfect life with a trophy family surrounding him. It just goes to show that you never see the true picture. Like Art, life consists of many layers. Not all of them are visible to the naked eye. It’s only when you start to peel those layers away that the true story unfolds.
Maybe when I see Logan and Sammie in Lansing, they will have something for me.
My thoughts are interrupted by the door opening and Emily comes in looking worried. My heart starts racing and I try hard to focus on her face and not look any lower. I am at war with my own overactive dick, which wins every time.
I smile at her.
“You look lovely, honey. Sally has obviously chosen well. I knew she would come good.”
My heart races as she moves towards me and to my surprise wraps her arms around me and just lays her head on my chest. She whispers,
“Thank you, Jax.”
My arms automatically wrap around her and I pull her closer. I can’t help it, it feels like the most natural thing to do in the world. I stroke her hair and my heart tightens as she whispers.
“Nobody has ever gone to so much trouble for me in my life. I have always been on my own and I am overwhelmed by what you have done. Not just the clothes but taking me under your wing and making me feel safe.”
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