Two and a half hours pass by in a flash—it feels as if they have only been on five minutes before they exit the stage amid a flash of pyrotechnics. The crowd starts baying for their return and the noise is deafening.
Then they are back and the noise goes through the roof. Once again, they entertain the crowds and then finally bow out amid more flashes of light.
Austin and Jerry grin as they note the excitement in my eyes.
Austin laughs.
“First time you seen them, honey?”
I nod and Jerry laughs.
“You can see why they’re so cocky. The fans adore them and they take full advantage of it.”
His words bring me crashing back to reality. Of course, the fans. The cute teenage girls with shorts up to the waist and tops that end under their armpits. They will flash their California style smiles and reel the guys in. Maybe I would be better off not venturing back there.
I thank the guys and wonder what I should do now. Calum waves and calls out.
“Over here, Emily. I’ll take you backstage.”
With a sinking heart, I follow him.
Jax
I feel the effects of the adrenalin like a drug addict on a high. There is no other feeling and I would do that all day, every day if I could. Even River ditched his brooding look and his face is animated and alive for once. Tyler looks extremely satisfied and Cody is acting like a pubescent schoolboy as he hits on just about every set of long, tanned, legs in the room.
I saunter over to River and slap him on the back.
“First one down, bro.”
He grins but before he can reply a couple of girls sidle up to us with invitations in their eyes. These girls look barely legal and far from wanting to take advantage of them I wonder what sort of parents would let them out on their own. River seems equally unimpressed as the girls giggle and one says boldly.
“Would you sign our autographs?”
They thrust a sharpie at me and then without warning both lift their tops exposing their small underdeveloped breasts.
River looks at me and grins, taking the pen from her outstretched hands and obliging by scrawling what appears to be an initial over both of them. I feel irritated with these girls for bringing me down and just frown. I look around for Emily. Where is she? I performed for her tonight. With every song, I had her beautiful face in my mind. Eddie told me that she was watching with the techy guys and I loved knowing that she was there.
I move away and note the disappointment in the girls faces. Cody is wasting no time and has some unfortunate girl between his legs. I see Eddie talking to a group of people I recognize and wander over.
He looks up and smiles as I ask the only question I want answering.
“Where’s Emily?”
I see a flash of amusement spark in his eyes and frown at him. He shrugs.
“Not sure. I’m sure she won’t be long though.”
I know the guys with him. Jason Bexilo is a guitarist from a band who we supported once or twice. He has his arm around his wife, Sally and she smiles at me warmly.
“You did well, Jax. I loved the show.”
Smiling, I note that she looks a little like Emily and it just amplifies the fact she is missing from my side.
Eddie and Jason are deep in conversation and I suddenly have an idea.
Leaning towards Sally I draw her close beside me and whisper.
“Listen, I don’t suppose you would do me a favor, honey?”
She looks interested and shifts closer to hear me. The noise in this room is off the scale already and I know it will only get more raucous as the evening wears on.
She smiles, as I whisper.
“You seem about the same size as a girl that needs a little happiness put back in her life. We leave around lunchtime tomorrow for our next stop but I was wondering if you could maybe grab her some clothes for me?”
She smiles and her eyes sparkle.
“What did you have in mind?”
“Something pretty and some practical things. She is tied up with this tour and hasn’t brought much with her. We won’t have a chance to go shopping and it would help her out until we can.”
Sally smiles and her eyes flash mischievously. She laughs softly.
“Well, well. Who would have thought that Josh Jackson would think of a girl’s feelings?”
I pretend to be annoyed, and she giggles and reaches up and kisses me softly on the cheek, whispering,
“That’s a lovely thing to do. Whoever she is, she’s very lucky. I would love to help. In fact, it’s just the sort of thing I love. Shopping with another man’s credit.”
I smile and feel good. The thought of being responsible for just a moment of happiness for Emily brings me more of a reward, than tearing into one of the willing women that hunt us down. Even though this room is crawling with girls that wouldn’t be out of place backstage at a Victoria Secret’s fashion show, I only want one of them. The trouble is she is nowhere to be found.
Emily
Calum grins as he escorts me backstage.
“Well, what did you think, Emily?”
I laugh with excitement.
“They were awesome. They deserve every minute of their success because that was some show they put on.”
Calum nods and his eyes shine.
“I know, every time I see them perform it strengthens my resolve to pursue my own music. They are living legends to me and I want to learn from the guys I consider the best in the business.”
I look at him with interest.
“Are you in a band, Calum?”
He nods. “Yeah, have been since High School. We do a few gigs here and there and manage to make a little money from it. I hooked up with this tour to learn the business. When I return home, we will use what I’ve learned and try to improve.”
Before I can reply he stops outside a door and we hear laughter within.
He rolls his eyes.
“Prepare yourself, Emily. This room is not for the faint-hearted.”
He opens the door and we head inside.
The room is crowded and there is much laughter. I see Cody with his tongue down a girl’s throat and my heart sinks. I’m not ready for this. Calum laughs softly and whispers.
“Typical Cody. She is just the appetizer for him. No girl will be safe tonight.”
I smile but look around for Jax. I see Eddie talking to some guy and then I find him and my world shatters.
He is huddled together with a stunning girl. I watch as she leans towards him and kisses him gently. I see him smile fondly at her and feel the blood rushing around my head. I can’t bear this and turn to Calum who looks at me with concern.
“What is it, Emily? You look kind of funny. Do you feel ok?”
Shaking my head, I turn away from the sight that is killing me inside.
“I’m sorry, Calum. I feel a bit sick. Maybe I will just head back to the hotel and sleep it off.”
Calum suddenly turns into the superhero that he is and grabs my arm.
“Come on, Emily. I’ll make sure you get back safely. Do you want me to tell Eddie?”
I see Eddie deep in conversation right next to Jax and his lady. I back off and shake my head.
“No, don’t disturb him. He’ll understand.”
I push my way through the crowd and burst out of the room blindly.
I knew what was bound to happen but nothing prepared me for how I felt when I saw Jax with another woman. I have no right feeling like this. He has just been kind to me and I mustn’t read any more into it than that.
Calum calls to one of the other guys as we make our way through the stadium.
“Just taking Emily back. Tell the guys I’ll be back to help tidy up in 30 minutes.”
We head outside and I see the fans are still hanging around. There were over twenty thousand of them here tonight so it takes a lot to clear them. Calum looks worried.
“This is gonna take all night.”
We see on
e of the band’s security, and he heads towards us and smiles.
“Hey, what are you two doing out here?”
Calum gestures towards the crowd.
“Trying to get Emily back to the hotel. Doesn’t look likely now though.”
The security guard laughs.
“Come with me. I know a shortcut.”
He winks and we follow him through a side door and backstage once again. He points to another door towards the rear of the hallway.
“Follow that and you can take one of the cars waiting for the band. I’m sure you’ll be back before they need it and it uses the staff entrance out of here.”
I look at him gratefully.
“Thanks, Billy. I owe you one.”
He winks and then looks concerned.
“You ok though, honey.”
I smile thinly. “I will be. Thanks again.”
Calum escorts me to the waiting car and I smile at him gratefully.
“Listen, Calum. You had better get back to it. I’ll be fine and will head straight to bed. Tell Eddie I’m sorry, will you?”
Calum still looks worried but I jump inside the waiting car before he can say anything more. As I sink back against the headrest, I hear him telling the driver to get me back as quickly as possible.
I know I’m being stupid but I can’t watch Jax with another woman whilst my heart is laying like an open wound on my chest. It’s best if I just let sleep wrap it’s comforting arms around me and pretend none of this is happening.
***
Chapter Twenty-Four
Emily
I head to the room I share with Jax and the silence deafens me. The dark shadows play tricks on my mind and if I felt alone before, it was nothing to the feeling of existing in this dark void where my heart has taken me.
Quickly, I get changed and curl up on the couch under the spare duvet. I draw my legs up and keep the world away as I protect my fragile heart.
I try so hard to banish the image of Jax and that woman but it rages around my mind, punishing me. It screams at me for being so stupid that I would ever think a man like that would be interested in me.
Tears escape and soak my pillow as I realize that the only person I have, and always have done, is me. I have no family and very few friends. I am running from something that will destroy me and have run straight into the arms of another who will do the same. I long for the anesthetic of sleep and it soon gives me what I want. The trouble is even my dreams are working against me and there is no respite there.
“So, you thought we would never find you.”
I scream and a hand is placed over my mouth as I look at the men in front of me with terror. Five men, all looking at me with lustful intent.
I feel my clothes being torn from my body under their watchful gaze and try to struggle.
I am thrown onto a bed and my arms restrained above my head. My ankles are held down firmly, exposing my body to be used in the most brutal way. I can’t move and the terror threatens to consume me. Scott glares at me and the hardness in his eyes takes my breath away. He is angry and I know what happens next. I watch as he turns to the man who controls him. Who controls everything and has the most power in the world.
“She’s all yours, Sir.”
I shiver with terror as he looks at me with hunger. I’m pinned down and can’t breathe as he advances towards me. I watch as he lowers his trousers and moves between my legs. He whispers darkly.
“You will regret not taking the easy way, my dear. Now you will suffer the fate of our little friend, Ashton. She also took the difficult road, and we ripped the innocence from her and destroyed it forever. You, my dear, are about to learn that we play hard and by the time we have finished with you, you will be lucky to remember your own name.”
I feel him hard against my opening and freeze. My mind screams as I prepare for the inescapable. I am beaten.
Jax
I am feeling irritated. Jason claimed his wife and I can’t see Emily anywhere. Everywhere I look I see another desperate woman in my view. They are all around us like locusts. Cody is already onto his next victim and I envy him his free mind. The thought of plowing through the crowd like he does makes me sick. Before Emily, I would be joining him, but now I can think of nothing but her. River is against the wall with some girl hard against him and I see her hand going to work. Tyler appears to be on the couch with a girl on both arms and he grins.
“Hey, Jax. You wanna share?”
I roll my eyes and note the excitement in the girls faces.
“Have you seen Emily?”
Tyler grins and shakes his head.
“Man, you’ve got it bad. No, I haven’t seen her all evening. Ask Eddie, he’ll know.”
I leave him to his impending orgy and head off to find Emily.
This sucks. A room full of willing women but I only want one. The one I want is off limits and very much missing from my side. If I wasn’t so desperate to see her then I would drown my thoughts in a bottle of whiskey.
I feel myself growing angrier by the second. Where is she?
I head outside and nod to the security guy on the door.
“Hey, have you seen Emily?”
He shakes his head and then I see Calum racing up towards me.
“If you’re looking for Emily, she’s gone back to the hotel.”
I feel my heart thumping and the disappointment mocks me within.
“Why?”
Calum looks worried.
“She didn’t feel well. I said I’d go back with her but she wouldn’t hear of it. I’m sure she’ll be ok after some sleep. I expect it’s all caught up with her.”
Suddenly, nothing else matters but my need to be with her. Screw this, I’m splitting. I don’t care that Eddie will be pissed. The last thing I want is to suck up to the VIPs he surrounds us with at these events. I want to go and get my girl and I no longer care what anyone else thinks.
I look at Calum and frown.
“I’m heading back. Tell Eddie I’ve gone and I’ll see him tomorrow.”
Calum looks surprised and the security guard worried.
“I can’t let you out there. You’ll be eaten alive.”
Calum says. “It’s fine. There’s a car waiting out the back. One of them took Emily earlier. It will be back if the rest of the guys need it. I’ll show you.”
Ignoring the worried look of the security guy, I follow Calum out and hear the guard talking urgently into his phone. I don’t care that I’m causing them grief. All I care about is being with Emily.
I think about her all the way to the hotel. Luckily, we manage to avoid the queue of departing fans and take the back way out. I am thankful for the anonymity of the blacked-out windows and pray this car is jet propelled because I can’t bear the thought of her alone.
The car takes me to the rear of the hotel to avoid the loyal screaming fans waiting out the front.
I am met by hotel security and they guide me through the nucleus of the hotel. I feel the staff gawping but totally ignore them. I can’t seem to get to Emily quickly enough and wonder what is happening to me.
By the time I reach my room my heart is thumping and I suddenly feel nervous. What will she think when I get inside? How will I explain that I’m back early and what if she wanted to be alone?
However, all thoughts leave me as soon as I hear the screams ripping my heart apart.
I race inside the room and see Emily thrashing around on the couch, screaming, with tears running down her face. As quick as I can, I rush over and take her in my arms and feel her soft body cling to mine. Stroking her hair, I whisper,
“It’s ok, Emily. You’re safe, it’s me Jax.”
She shivers and trembles under my touch and god damn it, if my dick doesn’t stand to attention once again. I will it to retreat, angrily. Fuck, that’s the last thing she needs right now.
She sobs in my arms and I feel destroyed at the thought of her troubled mind. When I think of the bastards that put t
hose thoughts there, I want to kill them all.
Gradually her sobs subside and she whispers against my chest.
“I’m sorry.”
Stroking her hair, I whisper.
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, darlin’. You do know you’re safe with me, don’t you?”
I feel my dick throbbing as it begs to differ, and she snuggles in closer.
“I do feel safe with you.”
I sink back and pull her down with me.
“I won’t leave you, honey. Just try to sleep and it will all seem better in the morning.”
She shakes her head.
“I’ll be ok. You need to sleep. I’ll stay here, it’ll be fine.”
My heart tightens and I squeeze her gently.
“No, tonight we can share. Don’t worry, I won’t try anything on. I’ll just be right beside you, chasing those nightmares away.”
She pulls back and looks at me with those beautiful green eyes that are swimming with tears. Her lip trembles and I stare at her in disbelief. I’ve never seen such an amazing sight in my life. She looks at me gratefully and says in a small voice.
“I’d like that, Jax.”
Taking her hand, I take her gently into the room and wrap her securely in the sheets. I kiss her gently on the forehead and say softly.
“I won’t be long. I’ll just have a shower and then I’ll be right back.”
She sighs contentedly and snuggles in, her eyes closing almost immediately. Then I race to that shower as if my life depended on it. Fuck, this is gonna be a long night.
And it was. Never before have I spent a night like it. Every time Emily shifted, or I felt a soft leg against mine or heard a contented sigh escape from her sweet lips, I was off and running to the bathroom. Surely there’s nothing left inside me. This is the sweetest torture.
As soon as I return to the bed, she snuggles up beside me and my dick stands to attention once again. Fuck me, I feel ill and try to think of Cody’s face, Eddie’s anger or anything to keep my raging lust at bay. The one thing that would work though I battle to keep away. It’s at times like this when I’m alone with my thoughts, that my own nightmares re-surface.
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