by Lexy Timms
Finally, when I realized that Earl knew what he was doing, I just enjoyed the gorgeous scenery. I couldn’t stop marveling at the beauty of the canyon’s colorful pinnacles, buttes, and mesas.
Jake was riding in front of me, his broad shoulders hunched forward as he held the reins. I chuckled as his body jerked up and down atop Harvey. I loved the way Jake’s thick, wavy hair whipped around in the wind, and the morning sun made his black locks shine beneath his hat. A rush of heat spread across my face as I remembered the first time we’d ever made out, how I’d buried my fingers in that hair as we’d engaged in hot, passionate kisses.
“Okay, folks, the next stretch will be along a 3,000-foot drop-off. If you get scared, just focus on the mule in front of you,” the tour guide said, interrupting my reverie.
I was nervous for a few seconds, but it was something I’d been hoping to do for my entire life, and I couldn’t give up. I gazed all around me, completely awed and inspired by the dramatic view. Earl was a daredevil, walking ever closer to the edge, but he never lost his footing and just clomped along as if he didn’t have a care in the world, gravity least of all. It was a thrill ride even more exciting than any rollercoaster I’d ever ridden. Earl couldn’t go as fast as an amusement park ride, but he sure got my heart pumping harder than any loop-de-loop ever had.
I watched an adorable rock squirrel scurry away from us. As I glanced around, I was really shocked by all the trees and how green everything was; from the surface, the Grand Canyon had always looked like a big, dusty, barren, deep, red hole, but it was teeming with animal and plant life. I brushed my hair behind my ears, but the wind blew it around again and again beneath my hat. The breeze carried the scent of desert herbs, sand, and sweet, dusty earth. I glanced up at the dazzling blue sky and felt sunshine on my face. My heart raced as I peered down at the rock-strewn desert landscape below. It was as if we’d landed on Mars, the red planet itself. Crimson-colored sandstone gorges, from sugar white to deep orange, shimmered in the glaring brightness. Little whirlwinds of dust, sand, and gritty dirt danced below. Fantastic rock formations, swirled with bands of colors, seemed to stretch out into an endless horizon. What lay before my eyes seemed to defy mere words, and I was sure even high-definition photos wouldn’t do them justice. I marveled at the Colorado River, snaking its way along the canyon floor for 300 miles, through all those time-hewn gorges. I smiled as an endangered California condor flew majestically over us, its wingspan was wider than any bird I’d ever seen, like some kind of pterodactyl from a science fiction movie.
Jake glanced over his shoulder and grinned. He looked so happy, and I knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for both of us. “This place is incredible,” he said.
“Amazing,” I said, gawking at the surreal landscape around me, like something out of a dream. I was absolutely wowed by the splendor and all the natural beauty. It was the most stunning, breathtaking vista I’d ever seen.
We stopped at a creek and refilled our canteens, then sat at the picnic area, where our tour guide passed out bagged lunches. The sandwiches were pretty good, and I mowed through the chips.
I walked over to Earl. “Hey, fella. You hungry?”
The animal snorted and actually wagged his tail as he ate the juicy apple from my hand.
“Whoa! That was the ride of a lifetime,” Jake said, approaching from behind.
“It was awesome. Really got the adrenaline pumping.”
His blue eyes locked on me, and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him. Just for a second, it felt like he was looking into me rather than at me.
“The way the sun shines on your hair and in your eyes is just…magical,” he said.
My heart pounded in my chest. “Thanks for the compliment,” I said, almost in a whisper. I bit my lip hard in annoyance. I couldn’t believe I’d allowed myself to get caught up in those pretty blue eyes of his. When I finally forced myself to pull away, he shot me that movie-star gleaming smile. I couldn’t snap any coherent thoughts together in the glint of his pearly whites. Being there with him on a dream vacation in such a magical place was wreaking havoc on my resolve to hate him, driving me crazy, inside and out. I inhaled sharply. Part of me found myself attracted to him, but the other part still detested the despicable jerk who’d caused me so much pain. When a smile curved up on his irresistible lips, I took a deep, steadying breath as I tried to clear my head. “I need some time to be alone and think and reflect on all this beauty,” I said.
“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
I almost noticed a subtle hint in his words, but in the end, my fury won, and I stormed off to explore the creek bank. I stared at the time-eroded walls and thought about my life, my past, and my future, whatever that would be.
Chapter 8
After a nice rest, we remounted and headed back to the bottom. When we finally arrived at our destination, I saw stone cabins, four dormitory buildings, and a central dining area. Everything was so scenic, with all the cottonwoods, the fantastic Bright Angel Creek, and the vivid rock formations.
We walked into our rustic cabin, and Jake smiled, motioning to two sets of bunk beds. “Wow. I actually won’t have to sleep on the floor.”
I set my stuff on the bottom bunk. The mattress wasn’t the softest, but it would get the job done. The place was cozy, with minimal amenities and furnishings, limited to a nightstand, alarm clock, a small table, a toilet, and cold running water. I was dying for my laptop, but I hadn’t brought it with me because I was told there’d be no service.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Jake said.
I playfully slugged him. “Then let’s go get some chow.”
Dinner was served family style: delicious steak, baked potatoes, salad, bread, peas, corn, and moist chocolate cake. It was so nice after the long ride down to the bottom.
Jake took his last bite of cake and wiped his mouth. “You know what I was hoping to see?”
I cocked my brow. “What?”
“Bighorn sheep.”
“Hmm. They didn’t even make a cameo appearance, did they?”
“Nope,” he said. “It’s really too baaaaad, don’t ewe think?” he said, then laughed at his own jokes.
“Not punny,” I retorted. “Maybe wool see some when we head back up to the rim,” I said.
He laughed. “I sure hope so.”
“The food’s really good here.”
“Delicious,” Jake said.
“This is definitely one of the most memorable travel experiences I’ve ever had. It isn’t exactly the Hilton, but it’s warm and down to earth. Reminds me of something out of a cowboy movie.”
“Want a beer?” he casually asked. “Unless you’re a wine gal now.”
“Trying to loosen me up with liquor?” I joked.
“Nah. I just thought we could enjoy a cold brewskie, sit on the porch, and talk about old times.”
“You always got a little frisky after a few beers. You used to be all over me after your third.”
“So I’ll only drink two.”
We both laughed.
* * *
A few minutes later, we were sitting on the porch, listening to the babbling creek in front of us.
“I never woulda thought I’d be staying the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon—least of all with you,” I said, laughing.
He grinned at me. “Yeah, if somebody woulda told me a month ago that I’d be here, doing this, I woulda had them committed.”
“Cheers to that,” I said, and we clinked beer bottles. “So…tell me, have you been dating anyone special?” I asked after taking a swig.
“Not really. Nothing ever lasted because no woman I’ve met could ever compare to you. You were the love of my life, Ashly.”
Ignoring the compliment and the disappointed look on his face, I asked, “Which relationship lasted the longest? The curious side of me is dying to know.”
“Hmm. I dated this blonde nurse, Sherry, for about t
wo years. She didn’t trust me and didn’t give me one inch of freedom. After a while, I got tired of her paranoia and accusations, so I called it quits.”
“My mother never liked my boyfriends,” I said.
“So it wasn’t just me?”
“No. She found something wrong with any boy who gave me the time of day. Whenever things got serious, it only exacerbated my mother’s behavior. I sure remember what a nutcase she could be about my love life.”
He nodded.
I continued, “I haven’t dated much over the last couple of years. I guess I was too busy being heartbroken and working and taking care of my dying mom.”
“How’d you ever convince her to let you go to fashion school?” he asked, having known my mother well.
“I told her if she didn’t let me live my life dream, I was moving out. Then my dad threatened to move out too. He was really fed up with her. She was so upset about the possibility of losing both of us that she consented and paid for me to go. I swear, that was the only time she ever let me do what I wanted. She knew I was going to go, with or without her consent, and then she would’ve lost total control of me.”
“Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad she let you pursue your dream.”
“I haven’t dated much at all. My love life has been pretty much nonexistent. But I did date this guy named Robert Matary once. He owned a successful chain of stores. We lasted about two years. His company suddenly went bankrupt, and I stood by him faithfully when they took the unexpected hit. Then one day, out of the blue, he just dumped me without even giving me an explanation.” I glanced down as tears glimmered in my eyes. “It hurt like hell. All the other men in my life were sporadic, nothing serious.”
Dumped. I’d always hated that word, and I didn’t know how I’d ever overcome all the rejection I’d been through. Because of it, my love life had reached the point where it was virtually nonexistent. My relationships never worked, no matter how hard I tried, so I’d just been throwing myself into my work, trying to keep myself too busy to feel the pain. I was pretty happy being a workaholic, and my career flourished. I’d won awards and titles, and with the money I’d earn by traveling with Jake, I would be able to keep my boutique and eventually start my own fashion line. Nadia was always trying to set me up with men, but I wanted to take a break from relationships and pour all my time, energy, and focus into my business. That was the only reason I was sitting at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with Jake, because I needed the money for my passion.
“Isn’t it funny that after all these years, neither one of us have ever found our soulmate?” Jake asked.
I took a long drink of my beer. “I doubt I’ll ever find mine. When it comes to the game of love, I’m not exactly an MVP. Heck, I’m lucky if I get to sit on the bench.”
“Hmm. Well, I’m not gonna give up on love that easily,” he said.
“Wow, Jake. A true romantic, aren’t ya?”
He shrugged, blushed a little, then took another sip from his second bottle.
“I hope you find the girl who’ll make all your dreams come true.”
“Maybe I’m sitting right next to her.”
I chuckled. “How many beers have you had?”
“I miss this, our long talks. You’ve always been so easy to talk to.”
“Yeah,” I said, recalling those times when he was so willing to listen to me ramble on and on for hours and hours about everything under the sun. Even when I bored him with talk of fabric and color schemes, he never told me to be quiet. Jake had always hung on every word that came out of my mouth, as if truly intrigued
“I really miss that, Ashly. I miss…us.”
“It was a long time ago,” I said, my words almost as cold as the beer I was finishing. “You shouldn’t dwell on the past.” With that, I stood and started to walk away.
Jake suddenly pulled me into his arms. “Ashly…” he said.
My heart pounded. “What?”
He softly touched my face. “I don’t want to dwell on the past. I want to focus on the future.”
There was something about him that I found captivating. It wasn’t just his looks; he had a magnetic personality, and he always made me smile, whether I wanted to or not. No one had ever knocked me so off balance before, and I was completely discombobulated. I wanted to blame it on the beer, but I hadn’t had enough for that to be the case. I touched his face, cupping it ever so softly with my hand. “I care about you deeply, but nothing will ever happen between us again. You need to accept that.”
“If you’d just let down those thick gates you’ve built up around your heart, Ashly, there could be hope for us.”
“I met my best friend and soulmate once, but then he deserted me. It took a long time to get over him because I’ve never loved someone so deeply. But I moved on, and I vowed to never look back. I’m finally happy, as happy as I can be. I wouldn’t be able to handle my world being torn apart a second time, and I’m not willing to risk that for you or anyone else.”
“I’m a grown man now, Ashly, and I know what I want. I swear I would never abandon you again. This time, forever would be for real.”
Dwelling on the subject was daunting and overwhelming all at once, and I had to get away from him. “I’m gonna take a walk and check out the scenery.”
“Can I go with you?”
“If you don’t mind, I’d just like to be alone with my thoughts.”
He stared at me for a minute. Finally he said, “I understand,” and then he gently brushed my arm as he walked past me.
I opened my mouth to tell him not to leave, but the words would not come out. I felt hundreds of butterflies dancing around in my stomach. Part of me wanted to be held in his big, strong arms, to feel his hot breath on my skin, his lips brushing across my earlobe. I wanted him to pull me to his open, waiting mouth, but I cursed myself under my breath for feeling that way. How could Jake have this effect on me? I’m not some silly, naïve schoolgirl. I’m a grown woman, with an impressive résumé and prestigious job—much too grown for the likes of a despicable runaway groom. For a minute, I was frozen, held captive by the words he’d spoken and by the look of sincerity and hopefulness in his eyes when he’d spoken them. But in spite of the beer and his undeniable charm, I soon came back to my senses and knew I was doing the right thing by walking away.
I took my shoes off and waded in the creek for a while, then made my way to Boat Beach, which wasn’t far at all, located right along the banks of the Colorado River. Shrubs, small, brushy trees, grass, and several types of cactus dotted the shore. The little crooks in the red walls of the canyon were filled with young cottonwoods. Truly, it was a breathtaking experience to set foot in such a place, and I couldn’t stop staring at the spectacular rusty, crimson, and marigold hues splashed across the canyon walls, all that color blending into a perfect mix, and the towering sandstone rock formations. The view was incredible, and the sound and power of the water mesmerized me. There’s no feeling on Earth like standing beside the Colorado River with the dark, rough walls towering above you.
As the sun began to pain the sky in a pinkish lavender, I reflected on many things. I still missed my mom terribly, and I reminisced about all the wonderful times we’d shared before her life had been cut short.
Whenever I had problems as a child, I’d build secret forts or go to private corners of the woods. Hiding and distraction had always been my way of dealing with problems. I watched ants carry their leaves, picked up insects, and stared at spiders spinning their intricate webs. I’d make little boats out of leaves and gently set them in the woodland stream, then watch them take their gentle voyage with the current. Life had been so simple, so carefree back then, and I missed that feeling.
Since my breakup with Jake, I’d grown stronger every day, somehow finding the strength to carry me through each passing sunrise and sunset. Nobody understood why it took me so long to get over Jake, not even Nadia. Is it wrong to love someone so passionately? I still wondered. Neverthe
less, what had happened between us was in the past, and I knew I’d never allow myself to get involved with Jake again, for he’d only bring me more heartache, and I would not put myself through that. I would never forget the pain of my bleeding heart.
I’d always enjoyed finding a special retreat, a place where I could be alone with my thoughts. That was something else Nadia had never quite understood, as she was the kind of person who had to have someone with her wherever she went. When we were kids, she wouldn’t even walk up the street to the corner store without dragging me along. I, on the other hand, could be quite a loner at times. I used to go in the woods, find a boulder fit to be used as furniture, then sit there for hours, and watch and listen as fish swam and gurgled, frogs jumped and croaked, and birds flew and chirped. It was the only thing I could do to get my mind off my parents’ fighting, which they did all the time. When they separated for a couple of years, I felt like it was my fault.
Sure, I had grown into an adult, but I knew I was still doing the same damn thing I’d done as a kid, still looking for that special spot, someplace to escape to. There I was again, running away from my problems, hiding from Jake and looking for a distraction at the bottom of a canyon.
Time passed, and before I knew it, the sun was bathing the whole place in dazzling rays, turning the canyon red, pink, and fuchsia. I knew I had to head back before darkness enveloped the canyon floor. I saw the cutest gray fox, some birds, and a bunch of mule deer as I ambled back to the cabin.
When I got back, we sat at the picnic table. Jake eagerly listened to my story, then told me all about his little adventure. The weather was wonderful, giving us a perfect view of the stars and moon in the clear night skies.
“I hiked up the Clear Creek Trail to Phantom Overlook. It was awesome,” Jake said. “I also hit the North Kaibab trail to Ribbon Falls, and I took tons of pictures. Then me and some other hikers headed to the cantina, where we had dinner and played cards.”
