Harlequin Special Edition November 2013 - Bundle 1 of 2

by Lilian Darcy

  “Yeah, it does,” he agreed.

  She couldn’t read his face again, but she sensed he meant more than putting his feet up.

  “So,” she said finally.

  “Yes?”

  “I’ve been thinking about my abandonment issues. And about something else.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Have you seen base family housing since it was turned over to private contractors?”

  “Not really.”

  “It’s pretty bad. I keep hearing stories about how it’s moldy and unsafe. One woman I work with had to move her family out on doctor’s orders.”

  “That’s not good. But there are places off base.”

  “Of course. But that’s just the start of what I was thinking.”

  “I’m all ears.”

  “Being here all this time has been a good thing. It gave me a comparison.” She bit her lower lip. “Do I want to raise a military brat who’ll move every couple of years, or do I want my child to have a stable home in a familiar environment, friends he can keep his whole life?”

  “Interesting question.”

  She noted he didn’t offer an opinion. She was walking out onto this limb by herself. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe not.

  “Anyway, I think growing up here would be better for him.”

  For an instant she saw that amazing stillness in him. Then he asked, “Are you proposing leaving him with me?”

  “Not exactly.”

  At that he put his feet on the floor and leaned forward. “Would you be part of this?”

  “That’s what I’m thinking.”

  He stood and began to pace. “Your career, Edie. That’s everything to you.”

  “It’s not everything. It was wrong of me to make it everything, and now I have something else on the way that’s even more important. I realized that. Yes, you can raise a child in the military, and lots of people do it very well, even though those long absences and worries can take a toll. But I have a choice, and how much better if I give our son a hometown and a whole fam-damily, as you call it.”

  He stopped to face her. “It’s not all Currier and Ives.”

  “I didn’t think it was. I watch you tussle with your mother. I’m sure people here are like people everywhere. But whatever the problems, I’d rather our son not be rootless.”

  After a moment he nodded slowly. “I can’t exactly disagree.”

  “Seth, I don’t want my kid, our kid, to grow up with a feeling of abandonment. With a reluctance to make connections that won’t last. I can’t say for sure that would happen if I stayed on active duty, but I can say for damn near sure it won’t if I don’t.”

  “But that would kill you!”

  “It won’t kill me. Even less if Yuma meant what he said about flying for the ERT. But it’s all about this baby. It only struck me around the time I arrived here that I was trying to fit this baby into my life and that maybe I had it exactly backward. I need to fit my life around this baby. Isn’t that what you’re willing to do?”

  “It’s not exactly the same.”

  “Really? You were prepared to become a camp follower, and I don’t think that was your plan, either, before I showed up.”

  He remained silent. Damn, she wished she could read him right now. Sometimes his face could turn into a carved statue. Her heart had accelerated with nervousness, and she wanted so desperately to know how he was really feeling. But evidently he had decided that it was her time to talk.

  Finally he asked, very quietly, “What about the rest, Edie? What about you and me?”

  “I don’t want a marriage of convenience.”

  “Oh. So you get a house up the street?”

  She hesitated. “Seth... If necessary.”

  “If necessary? What the hell does that mean?”

  She couldn’t bring herself to tell him. She already felt as exposed as a raw nerve ending. Defenseless. Without protection. And now he was going to get mad?

  “You’re waffling,” he said flatly. “Hesitating. Edie, if there’s one thing I want from you, it’s some certainty about what you’re doing and what you want. It’s not like you to not speak your mind, and I need that right now. Where do I stand? Where do you stand? Please.”

  Her throat tightened, things inside her started crumbling. Where had this woman come from, because she sure wasn’t the woman she had been when she arrived here. “I want...” She could barely squeeze the words out. “I told you about my issue with...abandonment.”

  He swore. She might have jerked back except that she didn’t have time. He scooped her up from the chair and headed for the stairs.

  “We’re going to settle this,” he said grimly. “Now. I told you I was a lousy pussyfooter.”

  She felt on the verge of tears. She was scared of her own vulnerability, and maybe that had been her worst fear all along. Fear that if she ever let down her walls she could be hurt again.

  He laid her on the bed, then undressed her as gently as if she were a child. She could barely see through the dampness in her eyes, through the tears that didn’t fall. The next thing she knew, he was naked under the covers with her, his legs and arms wrapped around her, holding her as close as he could get her. As close as two people could get physically. She felt surrounded by him, and oddly that made her feel safe.

  “I. Will. Never. Abandon. You.” He spoke each word separately and distinctly, emphasizing each. “Do you hear me?”

  “Yes,” she whispered brokenly.

  “I mean it, Edie. I swear it. I will never abandon you. If you want me gone, you’re going to have to tell me to get lost, because otherwise I will never, ever, leave you.”

  “But that’s not fair to you,” she protested, even as the terror in her heart tried to ease.

  “Yes, it is. Because I don’t want to be anywhere else. Period. Ever.”

  “But how can you possibly be sure of that?”

  “First of all, I keep my word. But there’s this other thing, too.”

  “Which is?”

  “It’s called a leap of faith. I took it every time I departed on a mission, and so did you. Admit it. There’s only so much you can know, only so much you can plan for. After that you’re going on faith. Faith that you can deal. Faith that you’ll find a way. No matter how much we try to control it, most of life is one great big risk, one great big leap of faith. Hell, every single one of us takes a leap of faith every time we get behind the wheel of a car.”

  He paused. “I took a leap of faith both times I married.”

  “That should tell you something.”

  “Actually, what it taught me is that nothing good ever comes without a risk. With Darlene, the risk went sour. With Maria, life just happened. A drunk driver at the wrong place at the wrong time. But there was a helluva lot of happiness in the meantime. I don’t regret either decision.”

  “Really?” She lifted her eyes to meet his gaze and saw certainty unshadowed by pain.

  “Where do you get without taking risks, Edie? You don’t need me to tell you.”

  She closed her eyes, trying not to let his closeness distract her from the issues. She would have loved to cast all the questions to the wind and forget them in some incredible lovemaking, but that would merely postpone the more important concerns. Time was getting short. Before she knew it, her leave would be over. Before she knew it, she’d have a baby. Some things could wait no longer.

  “I... Seth, you don’t really want a loveless marriage. You’ve already had two marriages for love. How could you settle for less?”

  “Ahh.”

  Something in the tone of his voice alerted her, and she snapped open her eyes to see his smiling face only inches away. “Loveless marriage,” he repeated.

  “Yes. A marriag
e of convenience. You said it yourself.”

  “I’d settle for it, if that were the case. But I don’t think that’s it.”

  “No? Then what is?”

  “Edie, do you love me?”

  She froze for an instant, her mind scrambling around like a mouse looking for escape. Finally, the words burst from her. “How the hell would I know? I’ve never been in love!”

  He rolled her gently onto her back, propping himself over her on his elbows, one leg still thrown across hers. “Love is something you feel and something you do, not something you define. But what really worries you is that I might not love you. Isn’t it?”

  She faced the stark terror then. His question drove it to the core of her entire being. “I need to trust,” she said weakly.

  “You already trust me or we wouldn’t be here right now. Trust isn’t the issue, Edie. You’re afraid of what you feel for me, afraid that I could hurt you with it.”

  There it was, printed in large font in brilliant full color on the forefront of her brain. He could hurt her. He could hurt her worse than anyone in her entire life, including mountain guerillas armed with RPGs. Worse than her mother’s abandonment of her, worse than her grandmother’s death.

  She felt a hot tear roll down one cheek and forced herself to meet his gaze. “I’m terrified,” she admitted.

  “I know you are.” He shifted, cupping her face between his hands. “I’ve been terrified for a while that you’d disappear when I wasn’t looking. I promised I won’t abandon you. Now I’m going to tell you something else. I won’t hurt you, not in any real way. Oh, everybody messes up and causes some unhappiness from time to time, but I would never really hurt you.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “Because I love you.”

  The words sank in slowly, reaching tensions deep within her, beginning to dissolve the fear. “How do you know? I don’t get how you know!”

  “Because I know how much it would hurt to lose you. How much I need to see your face every day, to hold you in my arms every night. I know how badly you could hurt me. Trust me, I know.”

  He probably knew better than anyone, she thought. He slid over her, filling her with his hardened staff, uniting them into one. But he didn’t move, even as a sigh of pleasure escaped her.

  “I know I love you. And I don’t care if it takes twenty years for you to be sure you feel the same about me. I’ll be there.”

  She thought about the years ahead, tried to imagine them without Seth, and couldn’t. The mere thought of it hurt her deep inside.

  Was that how you figured it out, by knowing life without a particular person would be unendurable? Because life without Seth looked like a lunar landscape to her now, barren and without air. Colorless.

  She struggled under the blankets, and at last managed to reach up and caress his shoulders. “I can’t live without you anymore,” she admitted. “I hated feeling that way.”

  “And now?”

  “Now I think I love it.”

  He smiled and began to move slowly inside her. Gently. “We’ll go back to Minot together. You can resign after the baby is born. Yuma will be thrilled because he’s been pressing me to push you into taking over his job.”

  “Is that why we’re getting married? For Yuma?”

  “Hell no,” he said, just before he kissed her. “We’re getting married because life won’t be worth living any other way.” Suddenly he lifted his head. “But let’s not tell my mom yet.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to make the announcement to everyone at Thanksgiving.”

  Before she could answer, he kissed her again and buried himself deeper.

  A long time later she said the words he wanted to hear, because she was finally absolutely certain.

  “I love you, Seth.”

  Her heart took off for the heavens, soaring with joy and an amazing freedom. Judging by the look on his face, so did his.

  She felt she would never touch ground again.

  Epilogue

  Edie stood at the sliding glass doors in the family room of the Tates’ house. Behind her swirled an unbelievably big family—six daughters, six husbands, eight grandchildren, plus Seth and the Tates. Thanksgiving dinner still filled her stomach, which had grown noticeable over the past few weeks. Outside, night darkened the world and snow covered the ground, but inside everything was warm as the family discussed putting up the Christmas tree the next day.

  So many people. She had been trying all day to connect names and faces, but it didn’t seem to matter to anyone. They welcomed her warmly, as if she had always belonged, and happiness settled into her heart.

  She had made the right decision. She wanted her son to grow up in this family, to be part of their many Thanksgivings and Christmases to come.

  Arms slipped around her from behind and she smiled.

  “Overwhelmed?” Seth asked.

  “A little. But it’s great.”

  “Do you need to rest or are you ready to make our announcement?”

  She turned within the circle of safety his arms provided. Tipping her head back, she kissed him. “I’m ready.”

  “Okay. Want me to do the honors?”

  “It’s your family.”

  His smile widened and he dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Okay.” He turned, keeping one arm around her, and raised his voice. “Hey, everybody. I have an announcement.”

  It took a few minutes, mostly to get the kids settled. Edie felt almost embarrassed to have everyone staring at her.

  “Here’s the thing. Most of you already know from Mom that I’m going to be a father. And I can’t think of a better time to tell you all how happy I am about that than Thanksgiving, because I’m incredibly thankful. In fact, I’m thrilled. But I’m even more thankful because Edie has agreed to marry me.”

  The applause was instantaneous. Marge clapped her hands to her face and began to laugh and cry at the same time.

  Everyone started to move toward them, but Seth held up his hand. “I am so very, very grateful that this woman came into my life.” He looked down into Edie’s face. “I am so grateful for a failure that has turned into the best thing in my life, ever.”

  He bent to kiss her. The room started moving toward them and a small voiced piped up.

  “Is Uncle Seth a Thanksgiving Daddy?”

  He lifted his head, holding Edie’s eyes with his. “I sure am, Billy. I sure am.”

  * * * * *

  Keep reading for an excerpt from HOW TO MARRY A PRINCESS by Christine Rimmer

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  Chapter One

  On the first Wednesday in September, temptation came looking for Alice Bravo-Calabretti.

  And she’d been doing so well, too. For more than two weeks, she’d kept her promise to herself. She’d maintained a low profile and carried herself with dignity. She’d accepted no dares and avoided situations where she might be tempted to go too far.

  It hadn’t been all that difficult. She’d spent her days wit
h her beloved horses and her nights at home. Temptation, it seemed, presented no problem when she made sure there was none.

  And then came that fateful Wednesday.

  It happened in the stables well before dawn. Alice was tacking up one of the mares, Yasmine, for an early-morning ride. She’d just placed the saddle well forward on the mare’s sleek back when she heard a rustling sound in the deserted stable behind her.

  Yasmine twitched her tail and whickered softly, her distinctive iridescent coat shimmering even in the dim light provided by the single caged bulb suspended over the stall. A glance into the shadows and Alice registered the source of the unexpected noise.

  Over near the arched door that led into the courtyard, a stable hand was pushing a broom. He was no one she recognized, which she found somewhat odd. The palace stables were a second home to her. Alice knew every groom by name. He must be new.

  Gilbert, the head groom, came in from the dark yard. He said something to the man with the broom. The man laughed low. Gilbert chuckled, too. Apparently the head groom liked the new man.

  With a shrug, Alice gave the beautiful mare a comforting pat and finished tacking up. She was leading Yazzy out of the stall when she saw that Gilbert had gone. The stable hand remained. He’d set his broom aside and lounged against the wall by the door to the courtyard.

  As she approached, the man straightened from the wall and gave her a slow nod. “Your Highness.” His voice was deep and rather stirring, his attitude both ironic and confident. She recognized his accent instantly: American.

  Alice had nothing against Americans. Her father was one after all. And yet...

  As a rule, the grooms were Montedoran by birth—and diffident by nature. This fellow was simply not the sort Gilbert usually hired.

  The groom raised his golden head. Blue eyes met hers. She saw mischief in those eyes and her heart beat faster.

  Temptation. Oh, yes.

  Down, girl. Get a grip.

  So what if the new groom was hot? So what if just a glance from him had her thinking of how boring her life had become lately, had her imagining all kinds of inappropriate activities she might indulge in with him?