If she had chosen to leave years ago, Sasha now understood it would have been for the wrong reasons. The grass could seem greener on the other side but, sometimes, it was best to remain tenacious in making the best of what you are given. And she had.
A knock on her door removed her from her thoughts. Her assistant, Justin McMillan walked in with his usual long gait. Not long behind him was Lola Winters, the Executive Marketing Manager. Lola had been a close confidant since Sasha had first begun working at the tech company as one of their youngest directors in company history. A fellow African-American woman battling the glass ceiling, Lola and Sasha had immediately bonded over their shared struggle and grown to know each other as more than co-workers but friends as well.
Justin, in a similar vein, had become more than just her assistant; his endearingly shy nature had made her see a bit of herself in him. She soon found, however, that his initial shyness hid a humorous and outgoing personality when they were together in a casual setting, His complex nature was something Sasha found interesting and, having been one of the first individuals willing to open up to her, both Lola and Justin became close friends in a short time.
Taking the seats in front of her desk, Sasha knew before they even began what was on their minds.
“So…how did it go?” Lola’s suggestive tone didn’t get by Sasha and so, she merely rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“Nothing happened. The date went pretty well but…I don’t think I will see him again.”
Justin sat in silence watching the two women interact. Lola’s mouth had literally dropped in shock at Sasha’s confession. She sputtered for a few seconds before reacting in annoyance at another failure.
“You know, you are just impossible to set up. Carter is the sexiest black man I have ever seen, excluding Idris Elba and I just don’t see how you can pass that package of deliciousness up.”
Sasha shared a humorous glance with Justin, both of them smirking at Lola’s description of the man. She only shrugged. “Well, I just don’t feel any sparks. But, by the way you speak of him, maybe you should try dating him. You two may hit it off.”
Lola harrumphed. “Believe me, I would jump on that in a heartbeat if he was at all into a dominant woman. In all my relationships, I am the one in control and if a man can’t handle that, he feels emasculated. Carter falls within that range of man.”
“What are you saying about me?” Sasha’s eyebrows quirked in interest at Lola’s remark. “I’m not a doormat if that is what you are suggesting.”
Her friend roughly shook her head. “I’m not calling you a doormat, Sasha. But you do give off the vibe of submission when it comes to men. Am I not right, Justin?”
Justin’s cheeks flushed at being caught between the two of them. He sputtered for a minute, trying to think of the right thing to say to no avail. And so he merely settled on the truth. “If I am being honest, yes Sasha. One of your appeals is your quiet nature which can be quite enticing to men who…” he closed his eyes, hating the words he was about to say, “want to feel dominant and self-assured of their masculinity.” He turned to Lola. “Lola, on the other hand, is almost the exact opposite. But in the sense that she presents a challenge.”
There was a tense silence amongst them. “So I don’t present enough of a challenge?”
Seeing her train of thought, Lola interrupted. “Yes you do. But in a different way. I think both of us could use the other’s strengths when it comes to dating. I’m too standoffish and independent and you- you’re too open. And I think that is why you are constantly rejecting all your dates, if you date at all. You stop whatever could possibly happen before it does because you know how much you would give to the relationship and you are afraid of it not being reciprocated. You are afraid of getting hurt, Sasha. But, you shouldn’t be.”
Hearing Lola’s concern for her, Sasha did not take offense. Both Lola and Justin knew her better than she had at first thought despite them not knowing about her past. She knew everything they were speaking the truth.
“I think you should give Carter another chance. You two seem like you would hit it off.” Lola paused. “What exactly was it that you disliked about him?”
But, Sasha couldn’t find an answer. Carter James III was a strong, attractive, and successful man. A combination of all three was hard to come by these days and being without any other prospects, Sasha decided then and there to listen to Lola and Justin’s advice. She would give him another chance and maybe, something more could come out of it. Maybe she could finally be in a relationship again.
“Alright. I’ll do it.”
A wide smile spread across Lola’s face in triumph. Immediately, she reached over the desk for Sasha’s office phone. Picking up the receiver, she shoved it into her friend’s grasp and with a piercing glare, commanded, “Call him now. It’s been two days since you two went out.”
Sighing in defeat, she dialed the number and anxiously waited for him to pick up. Justin and Lola watched in anticipation.
“Hello?”
The sound of his deep voice sent quivers down her spine. She was a sucker for a man with a baritone.
“H-hi, Carter. This is Sasha Harmon. From the other night?”
There was a small pause before he spoke with humor in his tone. “I actually didn’t expect to hear from you. But, I’m happy you called. How have you been? I hope you enjoyed yourself the other night.”
“Yes, I did. That’s actually the reason I’m calling you.” She quickly glanced over at her friends who simultaneously gave her nods of encouragement. “I was wondering if you would like to go out again sometime this week whenever you are available. I know our schedules do seem to clash but I would really like to see you again.”
“That sounds great. What about tomorrow night? There is a venue I’ve been invited to and it just so happens, I’m without a companion to share it with.”
She smiled at his flirtatious tone and agreed to the date. As soon as they said their good-byes and she hung up, Lola jumped up and down in excitement. “See! Was that so hard?”
Sasha could only give a slight shrug. She couldn’t exactly say she was very excited for the night to come, but she promised herself that she would make more of an effort to make a connection with Carter. He was a great guy, after all. And as she knew from experience, those were hard to come by.
With her hands raised above her head, Sasha freely moved her hips alongside her best friend. Teagan laughed gleefully with the glass drink in her hand, eyes slyly looking over her shoulder at the appreciative glances she received from the man standing against the wall. Boldly, she looked him in the eye as she dipped and swayed to the beat of the music. The blonde man only grinned at her before stalking closer. When he finally placed his large hands along her slim waist and bent slightly so that his groin rested gently against her derriere, she leaned back into his embrace.
Sasha continued to dance but kept a close eye on her friend’s partner. It was just like old times. Teagan would always find someone at the club and Sasha, being always the sober one, had to make sure she looked out for her friend who could sometimes get too wild. This time, she told herself to relax. Teagan needed this; it was one of her first nights out since returning to Boston for a visit.
As they continued to dance however, Sasha watched as they began to get separated in the crowd. Eventually, she found herself surrounded by strangers with Teagan and her dance partner nowhere in her field of vision. Frustrated and worried, Sasha walked off of the dance floor to get a better view of the exit in case Teagan unwisely decided to leave with the handsome stranger. Sitting at the bar, she wrung her hands in worry until she felt a presence beside her.
Glancing quickly to her right, her heart leapt into her throat at seeing him again. It had been years but he still looked as handsome as the first day they met. Along with her surprise was a renewed sense of anxiety however. Old memories came flooding back that she had actively pushed to the back of her mind. The kickboxing classes
she continued to take had not only tightened her body but had acted as a release for her anger. It seemed all for naught as with her forcibly forgotten memories, came feelings of hurt and sadness.
‘How can I still feel this way? What’s wrong with me? Get ahold of yourself girl!’ she scolded herself. It wasn’t even Dmitri she had laid her eyes on.
“Long time no see,” he shouted above the blaring of the music with a flirtatious smile.
Sasha wanted to simply walk away from him. But, how could she? Dominic had never hurt her. It was not his fault he was related to the man who had broken her heart. And so she returned his smile with one of her own. “Nice to see you again, Dominic!”
He shook his head ruefully. “I can tell by the look on your face that it’s not. But…thanks for lying for my benefit,” he leaned closer to speak directly in her ear so he could be heard above the music. Dominic rested his forearm against the counter of the table, his chest hovering dangerously close to her. Sasha was shocked at her body’s reaction to his nearness but decided it was best to ignore it. After all, there was no denying Dominic’s attractiveness. His body was long and lean in the V-neck shirt he wore that caressed his defined biceps and pectoral muscles. Though a bit shorter from when she had last seen him, his hair was still unconventionally long, curling against the nape of his neck and falling over his hauntingly dark gaze.
It took her a minute to recognize why he seemed so familiar. With the darkness of the club, he reminded her so much of his brother. And with that realization, Sasha’s hands shook and a nervous sweat broke out upon her body. For just a quick second, she wanted him to be Dmitri.
“Aren’t you too old to be in a club?” she asked, her mouth close to his ear.
He chuckled, her breath hitching at the sexiness of his laughter. “The women here don’t seem to be so opposed to my presence.” He paused, “You tell me.”
Before she could answer, she glanced over at the entrance to the club and spotted Teagan with the blonde stranger. Moving quickly, she raced toward the exit, knowing Dominic would follow. He helped shove people aside, his senses on alert at Sasha’s hurried movements. When they finally exited the club, she raced down the street and grabbed onto Teagan’s arm, ripping her away from the man.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she growled in warning at his shocked face. Sasha had to wrap an arm around Teagan’s waist to steady her as she swayed in her drunken stupor.
The man only raised both hands in surrender. “Yo, she wanted to go home with me. I did nothing wrong.”
Dominic stepped up, immediately sensing the problem. With a glare, he warned, “Just get the hell out of here, man.”
With a shrug, the blonde continued on his way as Sasha struggled to keep Teagan on her feet with their height difference. Dominic simply shoved Sasha gently aside and cradled Teagan bridal-style in his arms.
“Which way to your car?”
Giving him a gentle smile in gratitude, she led him to the parking lot where her car waited.
After softly placing the now sleeping Teagan into the backseat of the car, Dominic closed the door shut and turned to Sasha.
“Are you sure you’ll be able to get her into your place okay?”
She shrugged. “I’m not as fragile as I look. I’ll be fine.” There was a moment of silence between them as they stood in the middle of the deserted parking lot. “Thank you for what you did.” She finally said.
Dominic smiled at her. Surprising them both, he reached out and stroked her cheek. “I’m just happy I got to see you again after all these years. We should catch up some time.” As if rethinking things, he frowned. “But I would understand if you’d prefer…not to see me again.”
Sasha was shocked at herself when she shook her head vehemently. “No, no. I-I would like that.”
A boyish grin spread across his handsome features. Taking out his phone, they exchanged numbers before he finally saw her out, making sure she entered her vehicle safely before driving away.
Dmitri desperately paced outside the closed door. His repeated knocks for entrance were ignored as he heard the sound of rushed packing, the dresser drawers slamming continuously, the clanging of hangers. Trying to hold onto his temper, he pressed the bridge of his nose and concentrated on taking in deep breaths. Finally, with a deep sigh, he tried once more.
“Nadia. Please open the door.”
After no response, there was grumbling before the door almost ripped off its hinges when he shoved his shoulder against the hard surface. His sister looked up at him in horror.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I am sick and tired of your behavior. Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
Ignoring him, she continued to shove her disheveled clothing into her suitcases. “I’m getting out of here, “she finally replied. “I can’t take living with you anymore.”
He rolled his eyes at her melodramatics. “Why I am not surprised that the moment you don’t get your way, you go running back to Mommy and Daddy. When will you grow up, Nadia?”
She turned to him with a hard glare. “When you and everybody else stops trying to control me. I’m tired of being torn between you and my parents, Dmitri. I’m not that sick person anymore. I listened to you and was released from the treatment center with glowing remarks need I remind you! I see my therapist and I fight every day to not fall back into the decisions I made.” She panted, overwhelmed by all the emotions coursing through her veins. “When will you see that? When will you stop blaming me for the decisions you made?”
He halted at the accusatory tone in her voice. His voice was terse as he asked, “What are you talking about?”
Nadia stopped packing long enough to look him directly in the eye. She crossed her arms against her chest and stood with her chin held high. “You know exactly what I’m referring to. Her. She hasn’t been in your life for years but you blame me for what happened.”
Dmitri immediately closed down at the turn of conversation. Refusing to respond, he turned to make his way out of the room. But before he could escape, Nadia reached out and grabbed onto his forearm.
“No, you’re not leaving. All the times you forced me to listen to you when it comes to my anorexia, now I need you to listen to me. You can deny it all you want but it doesn’t matter how many women you’ve dated since or relationships you’ve had, you still aren’t over her.”
She sighed. “I’m not denying I didn’t have a part in fucking up the relationship you had with Sasha. I constantly look back at the way I acted towards you and Dominic, and I cringe. I didn’t fully appreciate what you were trying to do for me. And I’ve apologized wholeheartedly for everything. So I continue to ask myself why you constantly punish me: you are using me as the excuse for why you dumped her.”
At Dmitri’s hard glare, she continued, “You can’t keep denying the truth to yourself. I know that more than anyone else.” Nadia paused to let that settle in. Finally, she released him and went back to her packing. “You don’t have to take care of me anymore, Dmitri. I’m not going back to live with Mom and Dad. I’m moving into my own place with the savings I’ve collected from work. And I’m going to live on my own and start over. Maybe you should finally do the same.”
A few hours later, Dmitri watched as Nadia waved goodbye at the door with her two suitcases in her hands. A cab was waiting downstairs for her. The finality of the door closing behind her was startling to him. She may not have been completely cured from her eating disorder for there was none, but he couldn’t deny that she no longer needed him as she once did. He had to let her go but by doing so he no longer had an excuse to not face his own demons.
The day of Sasha’s graduation had been a kick in the rear for him. He found that he was physically incapable of approaching her even as she stood a mere ten feet away. Before Sasha had been able to find Teagan, Dmitri had slipped away. Though her words had angered him, Dmitri knew Teagan had been speaking the truth. It was fear that had kept him
from returning Sasha’s love; his sister’s sickness had been merely an excuse for him to hold her at arm’s length. And despite his awareness of this, Nadia’s fight against anorexia became his excuse for not making things right. But she had never been far from his thoughts.
Dmitri sat down on the couch, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows that displayed the beautiful skyline of Boston. For so long, he had dedicated himself to his sister. For the first time, he was at a loss as to where to start. When Sasha’s face appeared in his vision as it somehow always did, he immediately picked up the phone and dialed.
“Hello, its Dmitri.” He waited for the person on the other end to respond. “Yes, that’s exactly why I’m calling. What can you tell me?”
Chapter Three
Sasha was in the process of putting on black ankle boots that would emphasize the musculature of her legs when Teagan walked out from the guest room of her condominium. With Teagan’s red hair flying in completely different directions and the sunken look of her eyes and face, Sasha couldn’t help but laugh at the scene before her. Zipping up the last boot, she cocked her hip to the side and gave Teagan an exaggerated cursory glance.
Seeing the ‘I told you so’ look on her face, Teagan could only roll her eyes and look away in slight embarrassment. “What time is it?” she croaked.
“It’s about to be six o’clock and I’m almost late for my date.” Sasha sighed. “What did I tell you? You are getting a little too up there in years to party like you did last night. Your body isn’t as willing to adapt as it used to be.”
Teagan walked into the kitchen, admiring the decorative walls of Sasha’s abode. “Yada yada yada…I just wanted to have a little fun. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” Sasha finally said after following Teagan into the kitchen. “As long as you do it safely. Do you know you almost walked out with a complete stranger?” When Teagan refused to respond and instead looked through the refrigerator, Sasha knew it was best to just let last night’s situation go- at least for now. “I’m about to go out but there is food in the fridge so treat yourself to whatever you find. You can also order in if you like.”
Sasha: The Awakening (The Wallflower Series Book 2) Page 2
