Forever (Fallen Series Book 3)

by Micalea Smeltzer

  The lurch of the car being put into park jolted me awake. I rubbed my eyes and smiled at Jonathon. “Sorry, I fell asleep. I’m not much of a wife am I?”

  He chuckled. “You’re tired which is understandable. Plus, all these plane rides would make anyone tired.”

  “True,” I yawned. “I think maybe you’re a bad husband, instead of me being a bad wife. I’m carrying your baby after all and you stick me on a plane twice today.”

  He laughed. “You’re full of yourself.”

  I yawned again, “Do you think that we could tell them about the baby tomorrow? I’m really tired and in no way prepared for the screams that are bound to come from Diana and the snarky comments from Mason.”

  He laughed again. “Whatever you want. You’re the boss.”

  “I don’t want to be the boss,” I frowned, reaching out to run my fingers along his cheek. “I want us to be equal.”

  He shook his head and came around to get my door. I took his hand and we started up the steps to the front of the house.

  Amelia was sitting on the couch leafing through a magazine when we opened the door. She smiled and came to hug us both.

  “How was your honeymoon?” she asked.

  “Amazing,” I replied and then blushed.

  She smiled.

  “Where is everyone?” asked Jonathon.

  “They went out to hunt. Even Diana. I guess they got bored with the bottled stuff, although I prefer it. Hunting is too messy for my taste,” she cringed.

  Jonathon chuckled. “Of course they went without me.”

  Amelia smiled. “They’ve been gone a couple of days already. They should be back sometime tomorrow.”

  “What on Earth is there to even hunt in Italy?” I asked.

  “Goats, bears, wolves, deer, wild cat, and even boar among other things,” Jonathon ticked each one off on his finger.

  “Oh,” I replied. “I didn’t know.

  Jonathon smiled. “We do have animals here, principessa,” he winked. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

  “That sounds wonderful,” I replied. “Goodnight Amelia,” I waved, before we started up the stairs.

  “Goodnight,” she picked up the magazine again.

  I collapsed onto Jonathon’s bed, our bed, still in my clothes. I didn’t have the energy to bother with pajamas. I did however manage to slip my shoes off.

  “Sleep now, principessa. We have some exciting news to share in the morning,” he leaned down to kiss me.

  I smiled as I fell asleep and when I woke up I was still smiling. That is, until the nausea hit again.

  “Is this ever going to stop?” I asked Jonathon as I wiped my mouth on a towel and reached for my tooth brush.

  “Well,” he picked up a book and flipped through it. “According to this it may last through the whole first trimester.”

  “Ugh,” I groaned and then swished some mouthwash around. “Wait,” I said, a giggle bubbling up in my chest. “Are you reading What to Expect When Your Expecting?”

  Color flooded his pale cheeks. “Well, I wanted to know. I may be nearly seven hundred years old but that doesn’t mean that I know everything.”

  “Does that book even apply to vampire-human pregnancies?” I asked.

  “Well,” he put the book down, “they are pretty similar. At least up until the birth part. That’s where things go very differently.”

  “You know,” I started, sitting down on the bed, “you never have told me why that is. What makes it so dangerous?”

  He sighed. “It’s different because the baby is half vampire.”

  “Thank you captain obvious for enlightening me to that fact,” I said sarcastically.

  “It’s just that the child, even now, is strong. Very strong. By the time it reaches full development it will be stronger than you. Its skin will be hard like mine but its heart will beat like yours. But it’s the strength that’s the problem. Many times the child will rip itself out of the womb. It’s not a pretty sight. Danny and Mason’s birth was particularly brutal because there was two of them. I wasn’t there but Patrick has told me bits and pieces… It’s bad. It scares me to think I’m going to have to see you go through that.”

  “But you’ll change me,” I supplied. “Everything will be okay.”

  “Yes, I’ll change you… And then you’ll have to deal with that pain. I don’t want to hurt you,” he hung his head, his shoulders slumped.

  “You could never hurt me. Everything will be fine,” I snuggled against his side. He put his arm around me, bringing me even closer.”

  “I hope you’re right,” he breathed, his breath tickling my skin.

  “I’m always right,” I scoffed.

  He laughed but the worried lines didn’t disappear from the corners of his eyes.

  “Come on,” I stood and took his hands. “We have some news to share with our family.”

  “I guess we do,” he grinned, standing. “Ready?” he asked.

  “Are you?” I questioned.

  “No,” he chuckled as we started down the stairs.

  “Well, you better hurry and get ready.”

  Everyone was gathered in the family room. Danny and Mason were kicking a soccer ball back and forth, causing Amelia to glare at them. Diana was painting her nails. Patrick was reading the newspaper and Joseph was watching T.V. The whole thing seemed so human that for a moment I forgot I was surrounded by vampires.

  Jonathon sat down next to Joseph and pulled me onto his lap. He smacked his brother on the arm and it made a grinding noise. “Thanks for going hunting without me,” he glared.

  “Well,” said Joseph, a smile playing on his lips, “you haven’t gone hunting since my sister-in-law showed up so I didn’t see the point in waiting for you. You never leave her side.”

  “Or the top of her, now,” added Mason with a wink.

  Jonathon shot a playful flash of fire at Mason’s face. He ducked and the fire evaporated like it had never existed.

  “Phew,” breathed Mason, “you almost got my eyebrows.” He smoothed the hair in question.

  Everyone laughed. “On a more serious note,” started Jonathon. “Kylie and I have some news to share,” he took my hand. I was still in his lap and the position was awkward.

  “Oh,” smiled Amelia, sitting down in the chair across from us. Patrick put the newspaper down. The soccer ball ceased bouncing. Diana screwed the nail polish cap back on and Joseph turned towards us.

  I looked at Jonathon and he looked at me. I smiled and looked at the others. “We’re having a baby.” I bowed my head nervously, waiting for their reaction.

  Everyone erupted into cheers and smiles except for Patrick who glanced at Jonathon with a peculiar look. When he caught me watching him he looked away. I gave Jonathon a questioning look but he ignored it. Later, I decided.

  Diana screamed, like expected, and pulled me from Jonathon’s arms into a hug. “I’m going to be an Auntie,” she cried. I laughed. Her excitement was contagious.

  “Congratulations,” said Amelia pulling Diana off of me so she could hug me.

  “Thanks,” I grinned.

  She smiled. “You’re like a daughter to me so I guess that means I’m going to be a grandma.”

  “Mom,” Mason rolled his eyes. “Don’t go getting all sentimental on us.”

  “Oh shush,” she batted him on the head.

  “Oh please, Amelia,” I shook my head. “You look way too young to be a grandma.”

  She laughed. “Well, we know that’s not true. Patrick turned me in 1955 and I was born in 1927. So, that makes me almost two-hundred years old. I think it’s about time someone gets to call me grandma. Especially since neither one of these two seem to be about to find their soul mate,” she pointed to her sons.

  “Come on, mom,” Danny groaned, “you know that’s out of our control.”

  She smiled at her son. “I know. But I’m your mother. It’s my job to get on your nerves.”

  “And you’re very goo
d at it,” Mason chimed.

  Amelia ruffled her son’s hair. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” she asked with a smile.

  “I guess I have to be,” I put a hand to my stomach. Jonathon’s hand then covered mine. “Little guy’s already coming.”

  Jonathon smiled. “Yes, he is.”

  * * *

  Three Months Later

  “Kylie,” Jonathon cried my name, shaking me awake. The full moon shone brightly, like a beacon, through the attic window.

  “What?” I asked wiping the sleep from my eyes.

  “I smell blood,” he ruffled the sheets. A light flicked on. I had to blink my eyes for a few seconds before I could see again. “Oh my God,” Jonathon gasped, his voice lisped around his elongated teeth.

  “What?” I asked again, this time with more alarm. If possible he was even paler than usual.

  “Look,” he motioned to my waist.

  I looked down.

  “Oh my God,” I gasped as my world crumbled around me. My sleep shorts and the bed sheets were covered in blood. Tears sprang to my eyes. “Not again,” I cried and my arms wrapped protectively around my womb as if by sheer willpower I could keep the baby inside me.

  “Patrick,” said Jonathon in a slightly raised voice to call the older vampire.

  “Yes?” asked Patrick appearing at the bedroom door only seconds later

  Jonathon’s chest heaved and he looked at me. I still stared at the lower half of my body in horror.

  “Oh no,” Patrick’s eyes widened in shock. I had never seen him look so worried before.

  “I… I lost the baby,” I stated the obvious. “Why?” I asked my voice cracking. Tears pooled in my eyes. Jonathon was at my side in a moment. He held me to his chest. My tears leaked onto his gray t-shirt. “What’s wrong with me?” I asked.

  “Nothing is wrong with you, principessa,” he said softly while his hands stroked my hair.

  “Yes there is. Twice,” I cried.

  “The first time was the accident,” he assured me. “That was out of your control.”

  “We need to get things cleaned up,” said Patrick, his voice taking on a slightly panicked tone.

  Jonathon lifted me from the sheets and held me against his chest. Patrick pulled the sheets from the bed. The mattress was ruined. Patrick balled the sheets up and tossed them onto the bed in frustration. He gave Jonathon a significant look.

  Only holding me with one arm he reached out and placed his hand on the sheets and then on the mattress, lighting them both on fire.

  “Keep your eye on it,” Jonathon warned, “while I get her cleaned up. I think I have it under control but if I lose concentration you may have to get Diana.”

  Patrick nodded.

  Jonathon carried me into the bathroom, turned the water in the shower on, and then striped my clothes. Tears continued to streak silently down my face. He wiped them away. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “Everything happens for a reason.”

  “How can you say that?” I asked as he carried me into the shower. He was still fully clothed and his shirt quickly became soaked. “That was our baby,” my voice cracked.

  “Because,” he began, “I have to believe that something good can come out of something bad. It’s the only way I’ve been able to survive.”

  I nodded my head. “Everything happens for a reason,” I whispered.

  Chapter Nine: Miracle

  One Year Later

  I had another miscarriage after the second one. Three babies all lost. It was completely devastating. I was beginning to lose hope in everything. So much bad had happened to me and it seemed that fate was determined to keep it that way. Some days I felt as though I was being punished. Punished for what? I wasn’t sure. Maybe for being an angst ridden teenager and hating my parents after the divorce. Maybe for being responsible for so many innocent deaths. Whatever the reason, I was sure that I was meant to have no happiness. Just when things had been looking up for me I had my child ripped from my womb and then to have it happen again? It was heart breaking. My resolve was crumbling. My happiness waning. Jonathon and I had been married for a little over a year and instead of enjoying the newlywed stage we were dealing with even more deaths. The loss of our children.

  I made it farther along in the third pregnancy. Far enough along that when I lost the baby I was able to hold him. He was so tiny, only two pounds, but he was perfect. Dark little eyelashes, and tiny fingers and toes, a wisp of dark hair, a perfectly curved mouth like his father’s. It was hard to look at my dead son but I wanted to hold him. I wanted to see him. To know that he had been real. I wanted to remember him for eternity. I didn’t want him to be forgotten. We named him Matteo and buried him beside his grandparents. It hurt seeing his headstone. My son, that didn’t even get the chance to open his eyes to the world around him. It wasn’t fair. But life isn’t fair. I cried myself to sleep, while Jonathon held me, every night for a month.

  I knew my behavior worried Jonathon, but I couldn’t help it. It was one thing to lose a friend. It was another to lose a child. Especially when you can hold and see the potential that was in that child. Every day I wondered to myself what Matteo may have become. Would he have chosen to turn into a vampire or live out life like a human? Jonathon had explained to me that dhampirs can become full vampires by feeding directly off of a human or they can choose to age. But he told me that dhampirs don’t age like normal humans. They usually live to be two-hundred years old but that they do eventually age and die.

  I wondered to myself what kind of person Matteo would have become, would he have been more like me or Jonathon? Would he have enjoyed painting? Maybe music?

  So, many things I wanted to know about my son that I never would. I wanted to believe what Jonathon had told me; that everything happens for a reason. But it was hard. I didn’t understand why I had not one, but three, children taken from me. Was I not meant to be a mother?

  After we lost Matteo, Jonathon became more withdrawn. I caught him, more than once, with his nose buried in the book of prophecies. I also found him and Patrick arguing quite a bit about something. My curiosity was beginning to peak and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I pulled out the copy of prophecies that Gabriel had made for me. Up until now I had refused to look at the book. Something about it frightened me. But I knew those pages had to hold the answer to something.

  And there was another problem… I was pretty sure that I was pregnant again. If I was I would be about six weeks along. But I hadn’t taken a test, or gone to the doctor. I knew why. I was scared that I was pregnant and I couldn’t go through losing another baby. And I didn’t want to tell Jonathon. It was a while after we lost Matteo before he would touch me that way again. And I knew why. He didn’t want me to go through the pain of losing another baby. I didn’t want that either but I still wanted to be a mom.

  My doctor, a vampire no less, was baffled by my miscarriages. He said that miscarriages were common with human pregnancies but not vampire-human ones because the baby is so much more powerful. I guess I just had to be different.

  But if I was pregnant again I had to find out. I had to do things differently this time. I would not lose another baby. I would do whatever it took to keep this baby.

  The boys were gone on a hunt and so it was just me, Diana, and Amelia in the house. I crept down the attic steps, I hardly left the bedroom anymore, and went in search of Diana. I checked her room first but she wasn’t there.

  In the family room I found Amelia curled up in an armchair doing some cross-stitching.

  “Amelia?” I asked.

  “Hmm?” She hummed not taking her eyes from her task.

  “Do you know where Diana is?”

  She looked up at me. “I think she’s outside on the swing,” she turned back to her work.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, heading outside. I stopped at the glass doors. I had avoided going into the backyard after the battle with Selena that ended in my best friend’s death. I took a deep breath and push
ed them open. It was time to face my fears.

  I took the winding path to the swing.

  “Diana,” I called as the white swing came into view. Her long blond hair blew lightly in the wind.

  “Yes,” she replied putting her book down.

  “Sorry to bother you,” I shrugged.

  “Don’t worry about it,” she smiled. “I never see you anymore. Not after…”

  “I know,” I cut her off. “And I’m sorry about that. I’m trying to move past it. I was wondering if you could drive me to a drug store or something. I just don’t think I feel up to driving.”

  “Sure,” she tilted her head quizzically. “But why?”

  I sighed. I should have known she would ask questions. “Because I think I’m pregnant… again.”

  “Oh,” she stood slowly, eyeing me carefully. “Does Jonathon know?”

  “No,” the word burst from my mouth, “and I’m not telling him. Not yet at least. I might not be after all. I just… I want to wait until I see the doctor…”

  “Okay,” she eyed me, looking at me like someone might look at a person that was about to jump off a building. Was I really in that bad of shape? “Do you want to go now?”

  “I’d prefer that.”

  “Alright,” she sighed and we started back inside. She grabbed her car keys and sunglasses. She started her car and headed into the little town a couple miles away. “Are you going to be okay?” she asked.

  I looked away from the window so I could see her face. “I have to be,” I fingered the soft fabric of the sweatpants I was wearing. “I can’t be sad for the rest of my life. But… if it doesn’t happen this time I’m going to tell Jonathon that I’m done. I’ll have him turn me. I can’t go through this again. I’m already twenty years old. That’s two years older than Jonathon. I can’t let this keep going on. I made my decision that I want him forever and if a baby isn’t meant to be a part of that forever then so be it. I’m done trying. This is the last time.”

  “Wow,” Diana gasped. “That’s a lot to take in.”