Deny: A Dark, Erotic Motorcycle Club Romance

by Jade Chandler

  “I got news.” I glanced at Viper. “Renegade’s been kicked out of Bound.”

  “Who’d he put hands on?” Romeo leaned forward, eyeing the table.

  “Marr, who is going to be my old lady come Sunday,” I announced, proud she finally agreed to be mine.

  “Was she hurt?” Rock’s fists flexed. No doubt he was thinking about Avery and all she’d lost. But we’d started rebuilding Black Label and were closer than ever to getting Ren out of this club.

  “She fucking let him hit her before she knocked him out.” As pissed as I’d been I was also proud of how well she’d handled the situation.

  Dare curled his lip. “Not a woman’s place to risk shit that way.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “But she don’t see it that way,” I agreed. “To her those women are as much hers to protect as anyone.”

  The others shifted but said nothing about Marr’s involvement.

  “About time he’s out of Bound.” Rebel fist bumped Viper.

  “You know this means he’ll stir shit up again.” Thorn stared at Romeo.

  “Something needs to happen. We need him out of this club, not just out of Bound. He’s not stopping until he’s broken the club apart or he’s Prez. I won’t let either happen.” I laid it all out for the Council. No doubt they’d already guessed my play, but I didn’t want anyone not understanding what side they should be on.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Marr

  I woke up to an empty bed and a note. He was going to stay away all week? Bugger that. I threw on some clothes and got busy with my own preparations. Avery had texted me earlier to schedule a session to learn the cane—that was exciting.

  How about lunch today then the cane. I hit Send, left my phone on my bed and went to shower. Out of the shower, I sent a note to my apprentices to meet me at ten.

  My phone pinged. Yup, how about noon?

  We texted back and forth until we’d worked out the details.

  I grabbed a protein bar and headed to Bound. Anticipation swirled at the idea of teaching Avery the cane, which reminded me my apprentice needed tending as well. Two years Poison had thrown away when she’d betrayed me to Renegade. And once I spread the word about the backstabbing bitch no one in the region would hire her.

  I dismissed her in front of my other two apprentices, and she’d said nothing just stalked out of the room, like I’d been the one in the wrong. How had I missed Renegade corrupting one of my own? I promised to redouble my vigilance. Changing out of my leather into street clothes, I left Bound later than I intended.

  I parked at the barbecue joint five minutes until noon. Avery’s beat-up truck was parked in the lot. The idea of teaching her the cane sent flutters through me. I wondered if news of my old lady status had reached her ahead of me. When I walked up, she didn’t fly apart in girl hysterics, so I guess she didn’t know about my other news. Agreeing to be Jericho’s old lady freaked me out, I worried I’d want more than he’d agreed to, but it was too late now. Negotiations were closed and love wasn’t on the list.

  I sat across from her and clasped her hands. She was white as a ghost.

  “Nervous about the session?”

  She shrugged. “Rock said not to do it and now I think maybe he was right.”

  “Then cancel.” I caressed her hand. “I’d enjoy being the one to beat him.”

  Her cheeks reddened and she jerked back. “Uh, no. I’ll be the only one touching my man.”

  “Jealous much?” I chuckled.

  “You’re a real bitch.” She tried sounding angry and failed.

  “You forgot sadistic bitch.” I paused for effect. “And really it should be a sadistic old lady.”

  “What?” She jumped and ran around the table to me. “You said yes to him?”

  I stood. “I did.” I dug my fingers into my palms.

  Her arms shot around my middle in a tight hug. “You’ll be my sister and Lila’s sister, and this is perfect.”

  I hugged her back, hoping what she said was true. “He says to talk to you about the plans for the day.”

  She stepped back eyes wide. “Me?”

  “You? So we both have things to teach the other.”

  Fanning her face, she sat back down.

  “No damn tears,” I warned.

  She swallowed hard. “Nope. So we need to plan the pre-party, the ceremony and the big party afterwards. I wish Lila were here.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “Mama is what the bikers call her, she’s Dare’s old lady.”

  Oh her. I already didn’t like her just from what Jericho said about her.

  “So you’re coming up tonight? We got lots to do.”

  “Tomorrow you’ll feel like shit.”

  Her color drained. “Maybe we should—”

  “Nope.” I bit into my burger. “We’re doing this.”

  “I’ll come up Saturday and we can do whatever you think we need to do, then Sunday I’ll be his.” I’d be busy wrapping up business here because I wanted to spend at least a week in Barden after I became his old lady.

  “That’s only one day.” She actually stuck out her bottom lip.

  “Take it, now tell me what to do. What’s this ceremony about?”

  “So it’s not like a marriage really, but it’s an exclusive commitment unless...”

  “Exclusive,” I snapped.

  Avery snorted. “Right. But you make the oath to the club to support it and your old man, that’s it. I’ve seen a couple and they’re exactly the same, a lot like the biker’s own ceremony.” She stared down at her tenderloin. “Let’s talk about the ceremony.” Her eyes darted away. “Maybe I’ll—”

  “Saturday we’ll do your shopping thing, I’ll stay in town, and then Sunday will be the ceremony.” I settled the matter that easy.

  “Right. Um, do you want a shirt that says Jericho’s Property? Both Lila and I wore one for our guys but you being you...”

  “I am his property, right? I mean that’s the definition of old lady, or am I wrong?”

  Avery’s eyes grew wide but she shook her head. “That’s the deal.”

  “Then I bloody well want the shirt.” And to know more about property. ”I need to understand what property means.” It better not mean much or we’d rumble.

  “Oh, yeah.” She sighed and sat down her pulled pork sandwich. “I wish I’d done that. Rock’s very possessive, but that’s because of all the shit we’ve been through.”

  “And how are you holding up? Fire had to be rough. I wish I could’ve helped in the rebuilding.”

  “I’m good, no I’m recovering, but better than Rock. Man he’s so uptight so I just do what he says and stay close.” She bit her lip and swirled a fry in her ketchup. “He wanted to come with me today, but I slipped out without him. He’ll be pissed.”

  “That’s all? You can tell me the truth.” She didn’t have a lot of outlets outside the Brotherhood.

  “The truth?” Her voice broke. “I’m so damn relieved. I shut down thinking my father hated me enough to burn down my shop. To know it was Ren and his goons—I’m so relieved. As fucked up as it sounds that made it all okay for me.”

  I moved around the table to hug her. “That makes sense to me. I’m glad. When will you reopen?”

  “Two weeks. I could do it faster, but I’m not ready to rush things, especially now that we have a new old lady to welcome.” Her eyes sparkled along with the wide smile.

  “Yeah, we’ll see how that works. Oh, I thought of a way to celebrate.” The idea was perfect. In my life I had thought I’d popped all my cherries, but one remained that Jericho would surely want. “I want a tattoo.”

  “You do?” She didn’t sound so excited. “More pain for me.”

  “
I don’t have any—”

  “You’re kidding, putting his ink on you will drive Jericho wild. I know it did Rock.” She giggled.

  “So it’s a plan, tats, sex and drunken chaos.” I liked the sound of that party.

  Avery gulped. “Saturday night we’re having a send-off for you, get you wasted and goofy.” Avery giggled.

  “I don’t do goofy. Even when I’m drunk.” Did she think I was some different person away from here? On my own and drunk, well that’s when things got interesting, but never goofy.

  “Have you used your tools with Rock?”

  “Yeah, twice now, and it’s so hot, well twice with the paddle. We use the toys all the time. But I know, like now, he’d love the cane but he refuses. He’s kind of a hard-ass about it, so if he won’t come to you, I’ll go to him.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I know the whole thing with Ren and my shop it’s got him so wound up, but he won’t do anything about it. Now Ren’s attacked you. How’s your cheek?”

  Satisfaction washed through me. He wasn’t in Bound anymore but now more dangerous to the Brotherhood. Still it had been worth it, even the damn spanking afterwards. “It’s nothing, Jericho overreacted.”

  “Well, we all heard him yelling in the Council room. Pissed times a thousand might describe him.”

  “He was?”

  She frowned at me. “Did you let Ren do that on purpose?”

  “What if I did?”

  Avery leaned back and shook her head. “You may be the top Domme here, but that was not cool, not how old ladies act.”

  I stared at her but she didn’t look away. It always surprised me when her dominant side emerged. “Look, Ren was shitting in my house, and now he’s out. I’d do it again. I’m not letting some invisible line keep me from protecting what’s mine.”

  “That’s Jericho’s job.” She tapped her foot. “You can’t act like you do here.”

  “Says the woman who almost burned down Barden to get her man free.” Her words stung me. I wasn’t trying to do Jericho’s job. I saw an opportunity and took it.

  “Yeah, and that ended with two weeks without sex and me heaping extra guilt on his head. So now I’m here trying to fix my mess.” Her shoulders sagged and she pushed her plate away. “I did what needed to be done and made him feel like less.” Tears made her eyes shine bright, but she didn’t cry.

  “I’ll think about what you said. You’re a tough bitch, and Rock should be kissing your feet to be lucky enough to have you.”

  “Oh he does.” She met my gaze. “But he’s nowhere near as dominant as Jericho, so think this through because Jericho won’t accept you crossing that line.”

  My sore ass reminded me of that lesson. At least now I understood why he’d been so angry. Last night, I’d dismissed his reaction as macho posturing, but maybe I didn’t understand the world I planned to enter.

  Avery followed me to Bound. We walked into the mostly quiet lounge. Viper sat at the bar. “Chat with Viper and give me ten minutes before you come down.”

  “We could just—”

  “Bring Rock to me?” I smiled wide.

  “Fuck, that’s not fair using my jealousy against me.” She stomped her foot. “Go get ready, I’m sure Viper’s nicer than you.”

  I laughed. “He’s not a bit nicer than me.”

  I hurried downstairs, changed clothes and spent five minutes meditating. I wanted to show her the way to service her man without dominating him—a fine line. I also tamped down the personal high she gave me. Her dominance earlier had tripped something in me, and I needed that attraction gone. She wasn’t mine and this wasn’t sexual.

  I stood and strode out to receive my student. She knelt in my entryway looking ever so submissive. I motioned for her to follow me. “Who’s taking you home tonight?”

  “Wh-what? I drove myself. Rock has ‘forbidden’ me to train with you.” She harrumphed and rolled her eyes. “I’ll do what I damn well please.”

  “Then I’ll take you home, you’ll be too sore to drive.”

  Not something I’d anticipated, but maybe I’d be able to catch Jericho for a conversation on property. I blinked and cleared my mind, now was the time to focus on teaching Avery.

  “Tell me how you feel in the sessions.” I pointed to the black table where we’d worked last time.

  “I get excited, you know, sexually, because he does, and that worries him. I guess when he first came here sex and pain were tied together in his head, and he worries it will get that way again.” She stared down at her fingers. “Am I doing it wrong?”

  “I’m sure you are doing it right, and that’s a worry to him. You turn him on, the pain releases the stress, and with no stress the sex is better. Unless you’re causing pain with the toys in order for him to get hard or when he comes, it’s two separate things.”

  “No! He’s always hard for me, and we don’t always do pain, so then, it’s two things.” She blew out a heavy breath. “Good. I’m telling him that.”

  “So then the sex is better because the stress is gone, and probably because you accept him, so much that you help him. That’s powerful all by itself—your sacrifice.”

  “Bah, it’s not so terrible. Well, just when I’m here but this is the last time I’ll have to be here.”

  I laughed at the relief tattooed on her face. “That’s true enough, and you’re brave to face your fear like this.”

  She fidgeted and then looked up at me. “I know I can survive it, and I know it’s temporary, just like the pain that came from my injury from my dad. Pain, especially physical pain, doesn’t last.” Her haunted eyes wouldn’t meet mine.

  “Emotional pain’s a bitch and not nearly so easy to exorcise.” The pain of losing my mother, losing Val still bothered me.

  She lay on the table. “Let’s do this before I lose my freaking nerve.”

  I stood over her. “How much restraint?” She’d shown her mettle and I wanted her to have more of a say this round.

  “Like last time. And we agreed on eight with the cane.”

  I grinned. “Did we?”

  “Yes we did and don’t back out now.” She frowned up at me, totally unconcerned with her nakedness or vulnerability.

  “Ten on the front with the rod, and eight on the back with the cane.” The anticipation returned mixed with excitement. I couldn’t wait to see how she handled this session. She’d grown so much from the first time she’d wandered into my dungeon, innocent and willing. But the lightness, the honest curiosity hadn’t dimmed.

  After I’d strapped her faceup, we went through the safe word, the need to count and all my normal instructions. She repeated her safe word for me. I closed my eyes and savored the moment just a few seconds before I snapped open my eyes and brought the rod down on her thighs.

  “One,” she yelled.

  The red welt rose instantly on her creamy flesh. I struck again, and again. Avery kept count. My pulse quickened and I wanted to taste her, but that was forbidden, so I took my frustration out on her virgin flesh.

  By the fifth strike tears again streamed down her face, but she counted. Each time I moved up her body and on nine I had reached her breasts, small, pert mounds that were erect with the stimulation of the session. I brought the rod back and whipped it fast through the air, giving her the hardest strike to the breasts. Just because I’d spare the cane, didn’t mean I’d spare the rod one goddamn bit. Rock wouldn’t want Avery to go easy, and she must know the pain, live with it deep in her to be trusted to give that relief to another.

  I unbuckled her and left her on the bed, sobbing as I left to collect myself and let the pain settle in before I restrained her upright for the cane. I was revved up, more excited by Avery’s innocence than I had any right to be.

  Once I’d calmed myself with deep breathing, I returned to the room
and moved on to the second stage, double-checking her readiness to proceed.

  I brought the first hit down on her shoulder.

  “Fuck me, one.” She shouted through her gasp of pain.

  This didn’t excite me because her fear was thick in the room.

  Each strike was a deep pain that ricocheted through her with involuntary spasms.

  I brought the seventh strike against her lower back. Only the chains held her up. She coughed and I was sure she’d hurl, but she clamped her mouth shut a minute.

  “Seven,” she whispered.

  The last hit her ass. “Eight.” She cried out and then sagged in the restraints.

  I applied the numbing cream and had Lash beside her when I released her from the chains, but she stood.

  “I never want to do that again.” She spoke between ragged breaths. Then she stared at Lash. “I still have to discipline you.” She stood straighter. “Do I get a break first?”

  “You need to sit and drink some water.” I handed her a robe to slip on. She winced but didn’t complain when the silky cloth touched her red skin.

  Once she finished her water, she gathered herself and walked back into the dungeon where I’d restrained Lash. She had a good wrist for the rod and she used strong force with the cane. Although if I had to guess, it was this part of the training she liked least. The intimacy of giving pain to a masochist bothered her. I could see it in the curl of her lip and the way she had to collect herself anytime Lash showed her enjoyment. Rock was a lucky man to have a woman love him enough to sacrifice this way. I’d kick his ass if he ever hurt her.

  When we were done I invited her back to my private area. “Whiskey or hydrocodone?”

  She frowned. “Whiskey—three shots and I’ll be out.”

  Avery fell asleep in the car just like she said she would. At their house I parked and strode up the driveway to knock on the door. Rock frowned at me when he answered.

  “What the fuck?” His eyes darted to my car, he growled advancing on me. “I told her not to do it. Why the hell did you let her?”