Dark Illusion

by Daniels, A. J.

  “When I was sixteen I got mixed up with some rather shady people. I had led a pretty sheltered life before that so when I met Patrick and his friends I was… intrigued. He was older than me by a few years, had already been living on his own for a while and was a college graduate. For a time, I thought he hung the stars and my life revolved around him.”

  I feel Toni tense behind me, his fingers pausing on my skin, but I keep going. If I don’t get this all out now I never will.

  “I started skipping school, started drinking and smoking pot. Patrick said I had him to take care of me, so there was no need for me to finish school. I was his boy and he always takes care of his boy. ‘Você é meu,’ he would say. Which means ‘You’re mine.’”

  I shift nervously against Toni, knowing what’s coming but wishing I could skip over it just the same.

  “One night I went over to his house stressed about another fight I had with my parents and needing to smoke a couple bowls to relax. Patrick said he was out of pot but had something else for us to try. That was the night he got me addicted to coke. It was also the night he refused to let me leave saying it was for my own good. That my parents didn’t care about me like he did. That he was all I had. Every time I would try to leave he’d entice me back with another hit until I blacked out. When I came to I was chained to a bed.”

  “Motherfucker,” Toni hisses. His grip around my middle tightening.

  Running my hand down his arm, I intertwine our fingers resting on my stomach. I give his fingers a reassuring squeeze, letting him know that I’m here and I’m safe now.

  “How long?” Toni bites out.

  “From the time I met him to the time we were found, and he was arrested? Five or six years.”

  “Kai, I need you to move,” Toni says after a bout of silence, his voice sounding pained.

  “What?”

  “Baby, I need you to move so I can get up. I need-”

  He doesn’t need to finish his sentence before I’m leaning away from him and pushing up from the sofa. Walking over to the large sliding door, I run a hand through my hair regretting opening my mouth and spewing all that shit about my past. The only people to ever know the truth are Dane, Sean, and Craig and that’s only because Dane is listed as my emergency contact, so the hospital called him when the cops found me and brought me to the hospital. Dane called the other two and the three of them took turns staying with me until we knew for sure that Trick was being charged and would be put away. Even then, they refused to leave when I was discharged. For three months, one of them would always be with me, only switching out when the other had to work or sleep. I owe my life to those guys.

  Strong hands grip my shoulders from behind and I momentarily freeze when I forget where I am. Toni curses but drops his hands immediately. I turn around to face him, ready to apologize profusely for reacting the way I did but the words get lodged in my throat when I see the tortured look in his eyes. I swallow hard, fighting back the sting of tears, and step into his chest, seeking out the warmth of his body.

  “Kai, I need to know. Did… Did he…” Toni curses, wraps his arms around me, and drops his chin on my head.

  “Don’t ask questions you aren’t ready for the answers to,” I say, burying my face in his neck, inhaling his comforting scent.

  Light kisses are pressed to the top of my head, my temple, my cheek. When I feel wetness against my face, I look up and am shocked at the tears rolling down Toni’s face. Antonio Moretti doesn’t cry.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers, his wet lips peppering kisses all over my face. My forehead, my temples, my cheeks, along my jaw, my lips.

  “Why are you sorry?”

  “Because I wasn’t there to protect you,” he rasps, his voice hoarse.

  “Baby,” I say, reaching up to wipe away his tears with my thumbs. “He can’t hurt me anymore.”

  For the first time since finding out Trick was released, I realize it’s true. He has no more power over me and it’s about time I start believing that myself.

  Toni growls, pushing my back up against the large window. “If he so much as breathes in your direction, I’ll kill him.”

  “I think you’ll have to fight Dane, Sean, and Craig for that honor. They’ve had dibs for years.”

  “This isn’t a joke, Kai. Tell me the fucker is rotting in a cell.”

  “He was…” I finger the buttons on Toni’s shirt waiting for the moment my words sink in. When they do, he’s leaning his forehead against mine. Eyes shut and jaw clenching and unclenching.

  “That’s what the phone call earlier was about?”

  I nod, “Dane just found out and wanted to warn me. The guys are gearing up to come stay here for a bit.”

  I think Toni’s going to tell them they can go to hell, that he’s got it all covered. So, I’m surprised when he says, “Good. The more people you have around you, the better I’ll feel.”

  His fingers begin to play with the hem of my shirt until he’s pulling it up and off. Toni licks his lips when he gets a look at the metal bars in my nipples.

  “Now, I believe it was your turn,” he says, dipping his head to lick around one nipple. A groan escapes me when he pulls it into his mouth and sucks.

  “Oh, fuck yes.”

  For the rest of the night Toni continues to replace memories of Trick with new ones. Ones of him on his knees, worshipping my body and letting me know exactly how he feels about me.

  Antonio

  “WHAT ARE YOU doing here, Siobhan?”

  “Where is he?” She asks, shouldering her way past me and into the condo.

  “Who?” I grit out, a hairbreadth away from losing my shit and grabbing her by the arm to throw her out. I’ve managed to avoid her for the last little while, conveniently being out of the office when she’s stopped by to see me or being away on a work trip when she’s stopped by the condo.

  Before I can do that, she spits out an apology turning those dark chocolate eyes on me.

  “I’m sorry for acting like such a colossal bitch. For coming on to you in your club and then again at your office.” She raises a hand to stop me when I begin to speak. “Even though you were the one to initiate that meeting at the club, I knew it wasn’t really what you wanted. You weren’t you that night and I saw that and took advantage. I just wanted one more night with the man I fell in love with. I had hoped that he was still in there somewhere and that maybe this whole gay thing was just a phase you needed to… I don’t know, get out your system. But when I saw your face just before you left that night… when you told me goodbye. I knew it wasn’t just a phase, Antonio. Then you left me standing in your office after I practically threw myself at you and it just confirmed it.”

  She’s quiet for a beat then, her knowing gaze raking over my face. “Is it that guy from your office?”

  “What do you want Siobhan?” I ask, avoiding her question.

  “You really love him, don’t you?”

  I cross my arms over my chest, tired of pretending but still prepared to go into battle with this woman if she says one wrong thing about Kai or our relationship. “I do,” I say, watching her carefully. But her stance doesn’t change. She doesn’t tense up. There’s no longer that anger burning behind her chocolate eyes.

  “You know he’s not going to take this lightly when he finds out. Braxton’s going to lose his shit and so will Alessandro.”

  “I’m not worried about the underboss.”

  Siobhan raises a challenging eyebrow, “Really?”

  “He might be bigger, Siobhan, but he’s not faster.”

  “That might very well be, but if I were in your position I’d still be scared shitless.” She eyes me up again. Something in my facial expression must give me away because she blanches. “You don’t plan on fighting them on this, do you? You’re going to willingly let them kill you?”

  “That isn’t any of your business.”

  Moving around her, I head for the kitchen and pour us each a drink seeing as how it
seems she’s going to be here for a while. A quick glimpse at the clock lets me know that Kai should be getting back to my place any minute now if there’s no traffic. I hated leaving him after our talk, but I had a conference call early this morning that I had to be in the office for with Braxton.

  Just thinking of Kai’s warm body wrapped around me as we lay in his queen-sized bed back in Hamilton has me wishing we were still there while simultaneously looking forward to getting him back in my bed the minute he walks through that door.

  “Maybe not, but I still care about you, Antonio. And I’m pretty sure if Kai knew the truth about what would happen, he wouldn’t want you doing it either.”

  I slam back the couple of fingers of whiskey and pour another.

  “I won’t force him to live in the closet any longer, Siobhan.”

  Her eyes narrow into slits. It’s unnerving being the sole focus of that death glare. “So, you’re going to make him live the rest of his in mourning? You’re an asshole, Antonio Moretti.”

  I slam the glass down with such force, some of the leftover whiskey sloshes over the side. “What the fuck would you have me do? I’ll lose him eventually if I don’t come out. I’ll fucking definitely lose him if I do. I’m between a rock and a hard place here, Siobhan. So please, if you have a better idea. I’m all for it,” I say, spreading my arms wide, welcoming any suggestion she may have.

  “That’s easy,” She shrugs like my life isn’t on the line. “Talk to Klara. She has the Don wrapped so tightly around her finger. He’ll agree to anything as long as she’s on her knees when she asks.”

  “I’m not getting my sister-in-law involved in my shit.”

  Siobhan gulps back the rest of her wine before standing. “Then it’s your funeral… literally,” she tosses out, making her way back to the front door. She stops with her hand on the knob, turning to me. “I really am sorry for everything, Antonio. I… miss your friendship.”

  Cursing, I pull her into my arms, inhaling the familiar scent of butterscotch. “I’m still here for you, Bee.”

  She giggles. “You haven’t called me that since we were in school.”

  “You used to hate it.”

  She nods against my chest, her cheek rubbing against my pecs. “I did, and all because of that hideous yellow car.” She sniffs, my shirt growing damp beneath her cheek. “There has to be a way around this, Antonio. I can’t… I won’t believe that Braxton could be that cruel. He isn’t his father.”

  “Some things, Bee, are never that simple. Brax may not be his father, but he runs his business like his padre did. The Famiglia is just another business.”

  Siobhan squeezes me one last time before dropping her arms from around my waist and taking a step back. “Just promise me that you’ll talk to Kai. He deserves to know the truth, Antonio.”

  “I promise,” I lie, placing a chaste peck on her cheek and seeing her out.

  Siobhan hits the button for the elevator, but she doesn’t get on immediately when the doors open. Instead she looks over her shoulder at me, a sad smile curling her full lips. “For what it’s worth, Antonio, you guys make a better couple than we ever could. You belong together.” Then she’s gone, the metal doors sliding closed and whisking her down to the lobby of the condo building.

  Shutting the condo door and leaning against it, the back of my head hits the hard surface with a dull thud. I had no intention of telling Kai the dark truth about what my actions could unfurl when I went after him in Sugar Beach. I just wanted to spend these next few weeks in a happy bliss with the man I love before I have to tell my best friend the truth about what I’ve kept hidden from him and everyone else for twenty years.

  Kai

  “YOU GUYS DON’T have to worry about coming to the city. I’m handling it,” I say into the phone, pacing the length of the empty break room.

  “What do you mean you’re handling it?” Dane demands, using his big brother voice.

  For so long I use to wish I had an older brother to not only look up to, but to make life not so lonely. Well, whoever said be careful what you wish for knew a little something or two, because fate gave me three big brothers in the form of Dane, Craig, and Sean. Now, I’m not sure if having an older brother would have been as fun as what I had imagined. At least that’s how I feel some days. Most days, though, I’m glad I found three friends I can call family.

  “I told Toni everything.”

  “And he’s looking into personal security companies?”

  “Something like that,” I hedge, not sure how much I should or can tell Dane and the other guys. So, Toni didn’t exactly say he was handling it. In fact, he specifically agreed that the guys should come to Toronto if they want to. I did want them here but I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to them in the process of Trick trying to get to me. Plus, Toni and I couldn’t even go one weekend without sleeping next to each other. I often find myself wondering why we don’t just move in together but then the reality of his situation crashes down on me and I feel like a fool for even entertaining the thought of sharing a home with him.

  “What the hell does that mean, Kai?” There’s a long pause on the other end of the phone then Dane exhales loudly before saying, “I’m sorry, but the last time Trick got near you, you almost didn’t make it. None of us want to risk losing you again.”

  Taking a seat at a round table, I drop my head into my hand, elbows resting on the metal top. “I get it. Trick really messed me up. I don’t know how much I can really tell you but trust me when I do tell you that Toni is having it handled.”

  “Do you trust him?” Dane asks, sounding less frustrated this time.

  “I do.”

  He sighs, “Okay, we won’t come down.”

  “Sean’s not going to like that.”

  There’s a hint of a smile in his voice when he answers, “Let me handle Sean. Just take care of yourself, Kai. If you need us, we’ll be packed and ready to drive out before you know it.”

  After hanging up with one of my best friends, I feel a little better about letting Toni handle this situation with Trick. I know he has the resources, and he’s not afraid to do whatever it takes. Plus, I know he knows how to protect himself. Dane, Craig, and Sean don’t. I mean, not that I wouldn’t feel guilty if anything were to happen to Toni. I just refuse to entertain that thought.

  I grab him and I each a coffee from the café downstairs before heading back up and going in search of him in his office.

  “Is that a cappuccino?” Lauren asks when she sees me approaching.

  “Yes ma’am.”

  She has the drink out of the tray and clasped between her hands before I have a chance to blink.

  “Do not call me ma’am,” she chastises me, heading back to her desk. “He’s in there and all yours,” she adds with a tip of her head.

  A week ago, I found out that Lauren knew about Toni and me. Ever since then I’ve been buttering her up by bringing her coffee whenever I need an uninterrupted minute alone with him. I know she won’t tell anyone in the office, she’s not that kind of person, but it helps keep me in her good books and I need friends in Toronto.

  Balancing the tray in one hand, I reach up and knock with the other. A shiver runs down my back when Toni’s deep voice booms from the other side. I don’t remember whimpering, but I must have because Lauren says she’ll make sure we aren’t disturbed for a while before I turn the knob and push the door to his office open.

  “Hey babe.” Toni gets up from his desk and greets me with a kiss after checking the door is securely shut behind me.

  “Coffee. Black,” I say, handing him the second cup in the tray, and discard the cardboard on the coffee table when we take a seat on the leather sofa.

  “You didn’t get one?” He eyes me warily knowing how much of a coffee snob I am.

  I shrug, “Lauren stole it.”

  Toni laughs, “I don’t know why you insist on ordering the same drink as her when you grimace every time you take a s
ip.”

  Leaning back farther into the sofa, I allow my head to drop onto his shoulder. “It helps keep me in her good books. Plus, if she’s having a bad day I can just throw coffee at her.”

  “But why order the same drink?”

  “It saves me a trip downstairs.”

  Toni chuckles, his arm curling around my shoulders and drawing me closer into his side. “This is nice.”

  “Mmhmm,” I hum, relieved when he doesn’t make an immediate move to get up. I take advantage of it and absorb as much of him as I can before he pulls away. His chest is hard beneath my palm, his scent; warm and woodsy. I snuggle in farther, hoping everything else will fade away until it’s just him and me cuddled up on the sofa. But all too soon, the warmth of his body is gone when he pushes himself up.

  “We’re going to a barbeque at Braxton’s place this weekend,” Toni says off-handedly while he takes a seat behind his desk.

  “No, we’re not.”

  “Yes,” he says, looking up from his computer, “we are.”

  “Look, Toni,” I sigh, reluctantly taking a seat in one of the chairs across his desk. “You are the one who wants to keep this side of you a secret. If it were up to me the whole world would know that you’re mine and I’m yours. If we go to this thing at Braxton’s house, all your hard work to keep this part of you from them is threatened. Plus, what will it look like when the other employees find out the COO invited the new guy to a family function. And it is a family function,” I stress, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees.

  “You’re part of the executive team now, Kai. It isn’t uncommon for Braxton to invite team members over.”

  “Uh huh, and when’s the last time Reese was invited to a barbeque?” I ask, already fairly certain I know the answer.

  “That’s beside the point.” Toni falls back in his chair, his head turned, staring out the huge window. His brows furrow and his lips pull into a thin line.