A Husband by New Year's

by Sean D. Young

  Up until now, Patrick had tried to stay strong, but with all the decision-making sitting squarely on his shoulders, it was beginning to be too much. One person shouldn’t have to make all the choices, but that’s what Patrick had to do. He did everything from making arrangements at the funeral home, church, and burial site, to speaking to the attorneys about the insurance policies and the business, down to what color tie his father would wear. He should have known his Aunt Bernice wasn’t going to be able to handle making the arrangements. She didn’t make it any farther than the reception area of the funeral home. Because she didn’t have children of her own, Patrick had to make sure she was taken care of during this time.

  Kathy was a lifesaver, and he didn’t know what he would have done without her. She had been there to help him with his aunt, reserving hotel rooms for the out-of-town guests, as well as hiring a caterer for after the service.

  With Kathy’s help, Patrick was able to get everything done without his older brother, who still hadn’t shown up or returned any of his calls.

  When Renee called the other day, Patrick had just left the funeral home after completing the plans. Everything had to be perfect for a man who more than deserved it. His dad’s home-going service should mirror that of a great man. Oh, what Patrick would have given to have Renee beside him, but she wasn’t going to be, so he had to go it alone. The hardest part was choosing a box to put his father in. He understood perfectly that it was natural for a child to have to bury a parent, but he just wasn’t ready.

  Leaning over the sink, Patrick continued to stare at himself in the mirror. Come on, Pat, you can do this. It’s almost over. Pop would be proud of you, man.

  He took a deep breath and started getting himself ready to go and see his father for the last time. He knew it would be a long day, but he hoped that when it was all over, his father would have the going away party he deserved.

  * * * * *

  A pang of sorrow stabbed at Patrick’s heart when they walked into the crowded church. There were floral sprays resting against the wall on both sides of the church, and even more surrounding the shiny black casket. Moving slowly down the aisle with his aunt on his arm, Patrick escorted her up to where his father lay peacefully. He allowed his aunt to say her goodbyes first as she stepped up to him, whispering something while she adjusted his pink paisley tie.

  While he watched, Bernice had an intimate conversation with her brother as she rubbed his chest. Patrick’s heart filled with compassion for her. He was sure she had so many memories of her brother. He couldn’t wait to hear some of her stories.

  Once his aunt stepped back, it was his turn. Patrick had already had his time with his father the day before, when he had to come to the funeral home to release the body. He’d made a vow to him that the company would go on to be bigger and better with Patrick at the helm. The only way he wouldn’t keep that promise would be death. He bent and kissed his father’s forehead before moving away, as the family line for viewing was out the doors of the church sanctuary.

  Patrick assisted his aunt with her coat and then to her seat. Patrick removed his coat as well before sitting on the end seat of his row. If he needed to he could get up without disturbing anybody. Bernice placed her hand on top of his as they sat and watched others come and pay their respects.

  Patrick saw Kathy, overwhelmed with grief, tears streaming down her cheeks. He could tell she was trying to get control of her emotions, but the tears continued as quickly as she could blot them away with her handkerchief. Patrick was happy that his father had started spending time with her, and just wished it hadn’t been so brief.

  The service for James Dunlap was beautiful, soul stirring, and laden with laughter. Patrick’s heart was filled with pride as he listened to family members and friends who came forward one by one to share their cherished memories of his father. His Aunt Bernice had everyone in stitches when she told a story about how she’d pinched all the chocolate icing off the cake one night. Their grandfather thought James had done it and when he didn’t deny it, he’d ended up getting a whipping.

  “He took a butt whipping for me and I’ll never forget it.”

  Others spoke about his giving spirit, strength, courage, and unwavering faith in a time when black men had to have their own businesses to help the community.

  It was great hearing so many wonderful and insightful things about his father, but one stuck with him. When the preacher gave words of comfort to the family, he said, “James persevered in getting what he wanted for his family in a time when black entrepreneurs weren’t common, and that legacy he leaves with him today.” The preacher then gave the prayer and the congregation stood.

  As they were leaving the church, his father’s casket was flanked by six men—three on each side. Patrick had his Aunt Bernice squeezing his right arm tightly and Kathy on the left. The two women were grieving a man that meant a lot to them both, each in a different way.

  He could see small lines of grief crinkling his aunt’s eyes—she was such a trouper, trying to be brave. He knew that losing her brother had hit her hard. She’d even told him the night before that she felt like an orphan now that James was gone. Her other brother John might as well have been dead to her since he left fifteen years earlier without a word, and hadn’t been seen since.

  Patrick wondered if his uncle had even seen the announcement in the newspaper. As they walked up the aisle, he scanned the crowd but then wondered if he’d even recognize John, since he hadn’t seen him in many, many years.

  Instead of seeing his uncle, Patrick’s eyes settled on his brother. Robert sat close to the back of the church with his head in his hands. The once arrogant, always sharp big spender looked tired and sad, and for the first time since their father’s death, Patrick felt a softening of his heart toward his brother.

  Patrick stopped, releasing both his aunt and Kathy, so that he could move over to Robert. He laid his hand on his brother’s shoulder. Robert looked up at him with tears streaming down his face.

  “Brother, come. You belong with us,” Patrick said, waiting for Robert to move.

  For several seconds, Robert continued to stare at him without uttering a word.

  “Come on, we’ve got to get to the cemetery.”

  Robert stood and stepped out into the aisle. His kissed his aunt on the cheek before slipping on his coat. Patrick could see the tears that welled in his aunt’s eyes. He was relieved that Robert had come.

  “You’re still my brother, regardless of what we’ve been through,” Patrick said before grabbing his aunt’s hand as they continued to the door.

  There were so many familiar faces that came out to support them in their time of sorrow, and Patrick definitely felt the love from them. Renee being there would make his day, so he hoped against hope. He found himself glancing carefully over the crowd, and a few times he thought he saw her in the distance.

  As they headed out the door, his heart leaped at the sight of her. This time his eyes hadn’t deceived him. Renee stood outside, close to the entrance with some of the others, watching as the men put his father’s casket into the hearse.

  Still classy and always beautiful, just seeing her made him yearn for her touch. He needed her by his side. Patrick watched as people filed out of the church, headed to their cars to prepare for the cemetery processional. Renee didn’t move. It was as if she was waiting for him.

  As soon as he crossed the threshold of the double doors to the church, he released himself from the two women. “Auntie, I see a good friend of mine. Can you and Kathy go to the car? I’ll be right there.”

  Bernice gave him a half smile.

  Robert stepped up. “I’ll take good care of them both, Patrick,” he said, taking the women by the elbow, leading them to the black stretch limo owned by the funeral home.

  Patrick adjusted the sleeves of his coat as he approached Renee. Standing less than a foot away fr
om her, he reached for her hand. “Thank you so much for coming today.”

  “I couldn’t stay away,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I’m so sorry about your dad, Patrick.”

  He put his arm around her, pulling her to his side, then whispered, “Will you stay with me today? There’s room in the car. I really need you,” he said, his voice trembling.

  “Yes, of course I will,” she said.

  Looking into her beautiful eyes, he saw the passion and compassion she had for him. He wanted to kiss her right there, but he grabbed her hand instead. Bringing her black-leather-gloved hand to his lips, Patrick kissed her knuckles. “Thank you. I’ll never forget this.”

  Hand-in-hand, they walked over to the waiting limousine. All the other cars were getting in line for the procession that would take them from the church to the cemetery.

  The driver opened the door for them and Patrick stuck his head inside. “Ladies, I want you to meet Renee; she’s my special girl.” The words rushed out before he could catch them.

  He turned to Renee and extended his hand, so that she could step inside the car first, and then he followed.

  * * * * *

  After witnessing Patrick’s heartbreak, Renee was so glad that she came. She chose to sit in the overflow area of the church out of the way, but was close enough for him to be in view. She observed his strength and courage in taking care of the two older women who she assumed were relatives. He was there for them. Who was going to be there for him? Even after everything they’d gone through, no one deserved to be alone at a time like this.

  “Renee, this is my dad’s sister, Bernice, and our secretary, Kathy, who’s also a good friend of the family, and my brother Robert. Everybody, this is Renee,” Patrick said.

  “So sorry we have to meet you under these circumstances,” Bernice said.

  “I’m so sorry for your loss, ma’am,” Renee said in response.

  After the introductions, the car was very quiet. Patrick sat close to Renee, holding her hand, but his attention was out the window. She couldn’t imagine the kinds of things that occupied his thoughts. Renee glanced at his brother, who sat close to the door, with his arms folded. He too, had his attention outside the car window.

  In the distance, she could see headstones and monuments. They were getting closer to the burial site, so Renee glanced at Patrick from time to time to gauge his expression. She could see the lump that had formed in his throat and she knew that he was being brave, holding back his emotions. She placed her hand on his thigh to soothe him. Her heart went out to him, as she could tell his had been broken. She didn’t know if she could be as strong as Patrick if it were her father in the hearse in front of them.

  The cars, with their headlights illuminated, rolled through the iron gates and down the narrow road that was lined with trees. Renee could see clearly now the dark green canopy in the distance shading the burial site. There were four white chairs lined up and a huge stack of dirt piled on one side.

  When the cars rolled to a stop, no one in the family car made a move to get out until after they’d placed James’s casket on the green carpet. A long floral spray of white lilies rested on the top of the polished ebony coffin.

  Patrick assisted Bernice and Kathy to the white chairs, while he and Robert opted to stand behind them. There were two older members of his extended family who occupied the other two seats. Renee stood next to Patrick, holding his hand as the committal service began.

  As soon as the preacher spoke, snow flurries began to fall fast and light, but thankfully not sticking to the ground. He read from the bible and soon it was time for Patrick to say his final goodbye. Squeezing Renee’s hand, pulling her close to him, she wrapped her arm around his waist. She moved her face close to his shoulder in an attempt to surround him with as much love as she could, to reassure him that she would be there for him.

  Starting with Bernice, each relative picked up a long-stemmed red rose from a bunch placed to the side. As the casket was being lowered, they placed their rose on the top. Robert threw his in, but didn’t go back to the car.

  Patrick was the last one to step forward. With his head bowed, he dropped the delicate flower on top of the shiny box that had been lowered all the way into the ground. Afterward, he just stood there, staring down at the wide hole. Renee didn’t know if she should go to him and lead him to the limo, as the others were leaving the area to go to their cars. She wanted to comfort him, but also give him space to deal with it all.

  After several minutes, Bernice touched Renee on her shoulder. “It’s time to go, dear. Do you think you can get him to come to the car, or do you want me to talk to him?”

  Renee gently touched the older woman’s hand, giving her an appreciative smile. “I’ll see if I can do it. Thank you.”

  “I’ll be in the car waiting,” Bernice said before she turned and walked away.

  Renee watched Bernice until she disappeared into the waiting limo. She turned her attention back to Patrick, who was still standing in the same spot, looking down at the ground. Renee took tiny steps toward him. She wanted to give him more time to be with his father.

  She walked up to him, placing her hand on his right shoulder. “Patrick,” she said softly. “You know whatever happens, I always have your back. You can always count on me.”

  Renee wanted to comfort him, so she didn’t hesitate, stepping as close as she could behind him, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing gently. “Babe, it’s time to go,” she whispered.

  Patrick covered her hands with his, leaning back against her. “I’m looking right at the box and I still can’t believe it.”

  Renee stood on the tips of her toes and kissed his neck. “I know, babe, I’m so sorry,” she said as she felt tears stinging her eyes.

  Patrick turned around and as they faced each other, they stared into each other’s eyes. Renee wanted him to see into the depths of her soul, to draw strength and comfort from her.

  “Ready?” she asked him, her gaze never leaving his.

  Robert stepped closer to the open grave, weeping.

  Patrick squeezed Renee’s hand. “Give me a sec.”

  Renee nodded and stepped back.

  Patrick went to his brother. “It’s time to go, Rob.”

  “This is a nightmare,” Robert responded as he turned away.

  Patrick reached for Renee’s hand, looked back over his shoulder at the open grave one last time, then at Renee. “I’m ready now,” he said, turning toward her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they walked to the car. The door opened and they climbed inside.

  Once everyone was seated, Bernice leaned forward, patting Renee on her thigh. “Thank you, honey. Thank you.”

  Renee smiled at the woman and then looked at Patrick who gave her a small smile. The day had turned out better than she thought. She now realized that Patrick really needed her.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “Do you have time to come to the house for dinner with me and my family? We can go together and pick up your car from the church later,” Patrick said.

  “Yes, please do,” Bernice interrupted. “I want the rest of the family to meet Patrick’s girl.” She turned to Patrick. “You never told me you had such a sweet girl, Pat.”

  Everyone’s eyes were on Patrick. He squeezed Renee’s hand playfully and she stifled a laugh. She wondered what he’d told his family about their relationship. He probably shouldn’t have made it sound like she was the woman he was going to marry. It looked like his aunt was actually taking his words literally.

  “Sure, I’ll go to dinner,” Renee said, hoping to have a chance to have a sincere and honest conversation with him. She was finally prepared to talk to him about what happened between them.

  After witnessing the events of the day, she realized that people didn’t have as much time as they thought. It was better to talk through diffe
rences and apologize while you had the chance. Patrick had gone through a lot today; she didn’t want to put more on him, but felt it was important for them to talk it out.

  As the stately limousine started slowing down, Renee turned so she could see out the window.

  They drove through ornate, wrought iron gates and up a winding driveway lined with snow-dusted trees. Renee was impressed by twinkle from the lights and all the shiny decorations. The place looked like a magical winter wonderland. The car stopped right in front of the main house. “Is this your home?” she asked Patrick.

  He looked directly at her and nodded. “Yes, I grew up here,” he said.

  Once she stepped inside the foyer, Renee looked up at the intricate detailing of the ceiling and the glossy hardwood floors. She hadn’t felt Patrick standing next to her ready to take her coat until he called her name.

  “Renee, baby, let me take your coat,” he said.

  Unbuttoning the long wool coat, she shrugged out of it and handed it to him. “You have a beautiful home,” she said.

  “I’ll take you on a tour after dinner if you’re up to it,” he said, taking Bernice and Kathy’s coats as well.

  While Patrick put the garments away, Renee stood next to Bernice. “Ms. Dunlap, the service was beautiful.”

  Patrick’s aunt hugged Renee quickly. “Thanks so much, dear. I think my brother would have been proud.” She smiled, but Renee could see a tinge of sadness in the older woman’s eyes.

  “What happened to your brother Robert?” Renee asked Patrick. She saw Robert come inside, but he’d disappeared. She really wanted to get to know him a little better. She understood that he and Patrick had their differences, but she was very proud of Patrick for embracing his brother after such a tragedy.

  “I’m not sure. He’s probably around here somewhere,” Patrick responded.

  Renee could feel Patrick’s arm slipping around her, pulling her to his side. “Let’s go and meet the rest of the family.”