Chinese Ghost Fables 1

by Ji, Yun

  Sighing at the rude deed and poor-education of her own great grandson, the skull wept and quietly left.

  32 EARN THE RESPECT

  A student visited Peking which was the capital city, in order to attend the third National Official's exam. All of the motels were occupied by candidates and their servants. He could not acquire a room in the city and was forced to rent one in an obscure suburban area nearby an ill-maintained temple. He had lived there quietly for over two weeks.

  One night, he was disturbed and awakened by a mysterious voice coming from outside of his room, "Sir, please wake up. I have to talk to you. I have lived here for over three hundred years. When you first moved in, I thought you were a well-learned gentleman, like most other candidates. Therefore, I allowed you to occupy this house alone without making any issues. Latter on, as I was observing you going out to visit presumably your friends and relatives, I considered them as normal social activities. However, a few days ago, by chance, I surprisingly noticed that you were in deep intoxication, which raised my suspicion. How could one be a gentleman if he don’t have enough willpower to keep himself away from alcohol and be drunken by it? This afternoon, I overheard your conversation with a monk, who resides across the street. Without any shame and embarrassment, you boasted that you have been hanging around bars and teashops all those days. You are not worth of my respect. I had treated you as a well-learned person, for your convenience, I had to relocate my family elsewhere. Currently, we stay in that temple and under the Buddha's altar, which is too small to accommodate us all. Our living condition is unbearable. Since you are only a hyprocate, I must demand that you move out of this room no later than tomorrow morning. We already collected some shingles and stones for you if you dare to remain here for another moment."

  The student was amazed and frightened. Without hesitation, He anxiously relocated himself elsewhere that night.

  33 MR. DON'S ROOMMATE Mr. Don once visited the capital city of Peking. In order to save money, he shared a room with an acquaintance. Infrequently studying books, his roommate often attended parties and hardly stayed in the room for the night. Mr. Don slept alone. He overheard and observed a stranger, or rather a dark creature that was scrutinizing his knickknacks, books, stationeries, and paintings. Before coming to Peking, he learned that many of the old houses were possessed. Reckoning it must be a fox spirit, he knew it couldn’t harm him, after all he was an upright gentleman, and he decided to ignore its preying behavior.

  On another day, he intentionally put his half-finished poetry on the desk. At midnight, he vaguely heard someone whom was reading his poems in a murmur. He initiated a conversation and received silence in response. The next morning, he discovered that some of his poems were marked with comments. Strangely enough, when his roommate stayed in the room, the fox spirit never showed up. In traditional Chinese society, people respected high-ranking government officials and well-educated gentlemen. They had been stars descending to the mundane world in order to assist the emperor in managing the country. Blessed by the Almighty, they would be avoided by all otherworldly creatures.

  Mystified and perplexed by this, Mr. Don revealed this oddity to his roommate. He was so pleased that he thought himself blessed, like other high-ranking government officials. Due to his lofty status, the low-life otherworldly creatures, which of course included that humble fox spirit, dare not to appear themselves in front of him. With arrogance and exaggerations, he always boasted this to his friends and acquaintances during all social occasions.

  One day, Mr. Don and his roommate invited their mutual friend, Mr. Lee, to a dinner. Hours later, they were intoxicated and fell into deep sleep. At midnight, Mr. Lee woke up and took a walk in the backyard garden. He vaguely noticed two people, an old man and a teenager, standing under an aged pagoda tree. In such a cold weather, nobody would linger outdoor. Believing that they were fox spirits, he cautiously concealed himself behind a nearby tree and cautiously listened.

  "Oh! It's freezing out here," The youngster moaned and complained, rubbing his palms in zeal, "Could we go back to the room, now?"

  "I am afraid not. Be patient for a litter longer," The old man consoled, "Mr. Don’s energy is all right. But his roommate’s energy is so noxious that I can't allow you to stay anywhere near him. His mediocrity will have a negative impact to you. It's intolerable. What walking human garbage he is! I would rather sit here with chilly wind and frosty snowflakes than share a space with that good-for-nothing."

  Mr. Lee divulged this amusing dialogue to his friends. They rapidly spread it to their social groups. Eventually learning this, Mr. Don's roommate was utterly embarrassed and humiliated. He promptly relocated himself elsewhere.

  Nothing is free. Fortune will not drop into one's lap without a reason. Merits and reputation are earned, not given, in the same way, shame and disgrace can occur. Without laborious study for years, how could this roommate naively expected to receive such a blessing from the Almighty?

  34 A HAUNTED HOUSE

  In traditional Chinese society, education was highly valued and people believed that a well-educated person would be respected even by otherworldly creatures. In Zon County, there was a haunted house. An educated old man and his friends voluntarily lived there. Due to their presentation, they hoped that those dark creatures would humbly and timidly relocate themselves elsewhere. One night, the old man overheard some unusual noises.

  How could those lowlives dare to appear in front of the highly educated? What a rude breach of protocol. He thought.

  With indignation and aggravation, he promptly reprimanded and proclaimed, in a loud bass tone, "It’s the rudimentary truth that the wicked could never overpower the upright. I have taught theology for over thirty years. How dare of you to disturb me, such an ethical and well-polished gentleman?"

  From outside of the paper windows, a female voice retorted, in mockery and derision, "Big deal! I know your academic background. Being a non-human, I have read extensively in various subjects and do understand some philosophy, too. In my opinion, one of the most fundamental qualities for a genuine scholar is to be faithful to himself. A person in faith is a person in peace. Your behavior is totally opposite. Not really comprehending the true meaning of those books, you have dogmatically mimicked the classical volumes. Is this for your gentility or merely for a vague fame? You did write a few books but they did not show any trace of originality. Worse than that, in most cases, you don’t even have your opinion at all. Confronted with unconventional views or controversial issues, you often provide conclusions without reasoning. Nobody knows your step-by-step logical mental process. You are both short-sighted and narrow-minded. Your over-enthusiasm on persuading fame and popularity indirectly hinder your ability of discovering the eternal truth of wisdom. How knowledgeable could you really be if you can't even control your mundane human desire for vanity? I am not questioning your personal inclinations. You should honestly scrutinize yourself first before you make another haste response to my assessment. You can judge a person by his deed not by his fame. Having a loud voice and bad mouth are ineffective. They merely disclose your diffidence."

  Sweating all over his body, the old man was dumbfounded, shamefaced, and couldn't utter a word.

  The female fox spirit beamed a smile and remarked, "Your speechlessness proves that you still have a shred of self-consciousness left. I will leave you in peace tonight. Please move out of this house first thing tomorrow morning. Farewell!"

  A person, who attempts to hoodwink those otherworldly creatures or even, the Almighty, is eventually making a fool out of himself. A hypocrite can dupe his peers but his duplicity will be noticed and reckoned with by otherworldly creatures. Be truthful to yourself. 35 INFLECT SOME FLESH WOUNDS

  In the western side of the city of Peking, a warehouse's attic was possessed and occupied by a group of fox spirits. At midnight, the night watchmen would often hear strange noises from there. However, since those otherworldly creatures didn’t attack bystanders with shi
ngles and stones, nobody bothered to evict them. They had peacefully co-existed with human beings for many years. One day, a boisterous sound of scold mixed with quarrel and screaming came from that attic. Out of curiosity, neighbors approached the warehouse and cautiously listened.

  Suddenly, they heard a voice complaining. "Gentlemen downstairs, have you ever seen a wife hitting her husband so mercilessly? She physically abuses me and my body is in bruises."

  One bystander, whose face still showed fresh wounds and fingernail traces, abruptly shouted back, "Of course. That's no big deal. Last night, I was disciplined by my dearest other half, too." Hearing this humorous response, the female fox burst into roars of laughter, stopped the thrashing. She led her husband away. All the turbulence was quiet down.

  Regarding to this amusing episode, a wise man commented that the female fox spirit could laugh this off and leave. That meant that she still loves her husband. She inflicted some flesh wounds to reassure her authority but she wouldn't seriously hurt him. 36 A FORTUNE-TELLER

  Mr. Lu is a well-known fortune-teller. Once, while traveling to the middle part of China, he made an acquaintance with a gentleman on a boat. Strangely enough, Mr. Lu never saw his friend sleep or eat. He suspected that he was an otherworldly creature who transferred itself into human form. One night, out of curiosity, he point-blankly asked him whether he was a ghost, a demon, or a fox spirit.

  "None of those," His friend honestly responded, without hesitation, "To tell you the truth, I am the patron God of Fortune. And I am on my way to visit the Southern Holy Mountain. Fate made us meet. We are destined to spend a few days together in this small compartment."

  "If I may ask," With amazement and delight, Mr. Lu boldly requested, "I want to be a gifted fortune-teller, who can accurately observe and foretell a person’s future. However, from detecting various blessed signs in his countenance, I once told someone who would become an important government official. Years later, he had still lingered on middle-level positions, which is contradictory to my prediction. Am I losing my edges? I never made such a huge mistake before. How could that be? Can you elucidate me?"

  "Certainly," The gentleman pleasantly agreed and said. "Due to one’s effort, fortune may change. Although he is fated to be a high-ranking government official, he inadvertently hinder his own career by climbing too fast or too eagerly on his political ladders."

  "What is wrong with the desire to win? Competition is the salient part of human nature. To get ahead of one's peers is born in our blood. His eagerness for promotion is understandable," More perplexed, Mr. Lu shook his head in disbelief and questioned, "What's wrong with that? I really don’t get it."

  "It all depends on his intention," The patron God of Fortune calmly elaborated. "A person who is too smart might misuse his intelligence and do some foolish things. He thought he is very clever and he thought that could explain away any misbehavior, which up to a point might be true, in the mundane world. On the other hand, it is certainly unacceptable in our domain. For a fast promotion, your friend is perfectly capable and willing to trade his influences. By doing so, he deliberately and unscrupulously impedes his colleagues’ duly progress for his own rapid political advancement. By using any methods to acquire, secure, and defend his current position, he became cunning and ruthless. Power easily corrupts. And crooks act in groups, like a pack of hungry and ferocious wolves. For their own personal gain, they will stick together and swap favors among themselves, suspicious and hostile toward others. Cronyism develops and the thin line divided between right and wrong blurs. As a result of that vicious cycle, they will be downright hostile to outsiders. Where will their unashamed ambition lead them to? The Almighty wouldn't allow it. That's why your friend only got a middle-level position instead of much higher one. His own calculation and selfishness undermined his promising career." The fortune-teller sighed profoundly and thanked him for his piercing analysis.

  37 MY FRAGILE COLLAR-BONES

  An old tutor moved into a deserted house and used it as a lecture room. One day, at midnight, he was disturbed and awakened by arguing noises that were coming from a distance and outside of his windows. The argument was intensifying and aggravating into quarrels, curses, and eventually, fighting. Since the backyard was rather remote and isolated, he believed that they were some otherworldly creatures and he was horrified. The commotion was moving toward his room and the content of their disagreement became clearer.

  "God damn it!" With indignation and resentment, a ghost, standing beside the paper windows and seeking advice from this human being, loudly inquired. "He looks down on and nitpicks at my poems. Are my literary works worthless? Sir, you are also educated. Please be the judge for us and listen to my citation."

  Without waiting for a reply from this flabbergasted human being, the impatient ghost, with rhyme and rime, solemnly recited several poems. With contempt and derision, the other ghost couldn’t withhold his emotion any longer and start giggling. The old tutor was astounded and dared not to utter a word.

  "What is your verdict? Are those poems well-written, poorly-constructed, or trashy?" The ghost confidently solicited and demanded an immediate response. With great hesitation and uneasiness, the old tutor mumbled something inaudible for a while. Sincerely and repeatedly bowing his bold head against the pillow, he timidly answered, "I decline to comment because I'm afraid that my fragile collar-bones couldn't resist your iron fists." The giggles were replaced by roars of laugher. He calmly vanished into darkness. Cussing and coursing the humiliated ghost was annoyed and lingered on the garden until dawn.

  38 A TALKING DONKEY

  During a business trip, Mr. Yu rode a donkey to Peking. After hours of laborious travel, he rested himself on a hill and took a nap under a pagoda tree. After a moment and while he was falling asleep, he vaguely observed the donkey standing up on its hind legs.

  Leaning itself again an old tree, this animal admirably observed the landscape, sighed profoundly, and murmured to himself, "Oh! What a lovely scene! I have not visited this place for many years. Although the mountains are still as green as before, the roads and villages are all changed beyond recognition."

  Without any delay, Mr. Yu excitingly jumped up and proudly shouted, "It’s a miracle. I got it made this time. I have a talking donkey." From that minute on, treating that beast as his opportunity toward fame and prosperity, he cordially and humbly communicated with the donkey and never felt a bit tired on his journey. Strangely enough, the animal acted like all other animals. Mr. Yu patiently persuaded and vigorously implored this donkey, who never uttered another single word after that episode. He went so far that he even suggested to the animal that they could be sworn brothers. Regardless his servile requests, this donkey reacted indifferently, walking and grinding the grass casually, like all other donkeys do. Finally, Mr. Yu ran out of patience and sincerity. Aggravated, he repeatedly struck this animal with a rod. Flinching, howling, and dodging this assault, the donkey was frightened but uttered no words. Due to this unusually cruel punishment, one of the animal's legs was broken. Mr. Yu had to sell this crippled animal to a butcher in a great discount price and walked back towards Peking.

  This story is both sad and amusing. Nobody really knows for sure that whether this is Mr. Yu's wild dream or if the donkey could speak a human’s language. Maybe in their ex-lives, they owed each other either morally or financially, Perhaps, the Almighty destined them to behave accordingly in order to settle the score.

  39 A BLIND MUSICIAN

  A blind musician, Mr. Lin, made a living by playing four-stringed lute, p'i-p'a. Once, at dusk, a servant called to him and said that his master would like to hire him to play his instrument in a party. They lived on a boat which was parked in a port a few miles away. Mr. Lin agreed. Carefully holding the lute under his arm, he followed the servant. Strolling for about four or five miles, the blind musician arrived and a man came to greet him.

  After brief amenities, he apologized and explained, in a courteous tone of voice
, "Due to the hot weather and limited space, my master instructed me to tell you that you could play your lute here, on the shore. We still can enjoy your performance from the boat. Because of this inconvenience, my master promised to give you handsome tips besides the agreed fee."

  Without hesitation, Mr. Lin abruptly accepted it. Full-heartedly playing it until midnight, he was thirsty and politely asked for a cup of water, which was deliberately ignored. He listened cautiously and reckoned the guests’ status. They were laughing and teasing one another. From the tone of their language and the content of their communication, he sensed that they were neither wealthy nor on a boat. Could they be those otherworldly creatures playing a prank on him? Perplexed and frightened, he picked up his lute, stood up and intended to flee.

  A voice severely reprimanded, "Where do you think you are going? What a disgraceful blind fool! What makes you think that you can stop playing?" Several persons jumped at and smacked him. He was pushed to the ground, assaulted and injured.

  While he was moaning and murmuring, he begged for mercy and promised to continue his performance. After another few hours of intense labor, he comprehended that those ferocious guests were gone. However, he dared not to risk his life again.