Charming Colton (Surrender Book 8)

by Becca Jameson

  “Maybe.” I’m hesitant.

  Davis claps me on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine. We’ll go to the club together separate from Eve Friday night. It will be like you’re my guest. I’ll show you around. It will get easier. I promise. Eve will do a scene with Owen. You’ll watch. It will help you understand better, and maybe you can work up to doing a scene with her yourself.”

  I lift both brows. “We’ll see.”

  He smiles. “You’ve got this. The best way to protect her is to keep an eye on her at all times. The best way to do that is to appear to be interested in her and start spending time with her.” He tips his head to one side, a question on his face. “I don’t think it’s going to be a hardship.” One brow goes up.

  I smirk. “No. You’re right.”

  He leads me to the front door. “Girls,” he calls out.

  Eve and Britney emerge from the hallway. Britney is no longer wearing the tights as instructed, and it’s incredibly awkward to know she isn’t wearing panties either.

  She gives Eve a hug. “Call me if you need to talk.”

  Eve nods. “Thank you.”

  Davis chuckles and gives one of Britney’s braids a tug. “Care to rephrase, sweetie? You suddenly have open cell phone privileges?”

  She swallows and looks at Eve. “Text or call my Daddy to see if I can talk.”

  “I will. Thank you.”

  Britney looks at me, far more confident than she was when I arrived a few hours ago. She doesn’t even seem embarrassed to be standing here with nothing on under her dress after letting me watch her get spanked and aroused. “Thank you for coming and for bringing Eve.”

  “You’re welcome. Thank you for having me and for letting me get a glimpse into your life.” It was far far far more than a glimpse, but what else am I supposed to say?

  Davis hands us both our coats and waits for us to put them on before opening the door. “Call me if you have any questions. Otherwise, we’ll see you Friday night.”

  Chapter 9

  Evelyn

  “Go ahead. Ask me all the questions,” I tell Colt as soon as we’re in the car. It will be easier to discuss whatever he’s thinking in the dark in a moving vehicle so he can’t look me in the eye while we talk. Easier for me anyway.

  He glances at me. “I have a hundred or so.”

  I smile. “That’s okay. I want you to be comfortable.”

  “Like how you’ve been so comfortable all evening?” he teases.

  I sit on my hands. It’s a habit I picked up that keeps me from fidgeting when I’m nervous.

  “Sorry. I shouldn’t make light of this.”

  “It’s okay. You’re right. It’s hard for me to be comfortable with a stranger, especially one who’s totally green. It makes me feel exposed.”

  He grips the steering wheel. “I’m sorry. If there were another way…”

  “I know. It’ll get easier.” I reach over and touch his arm instinctively before pulling away again. “You’re a dominant man even though you’ve never exactly been to a club. You have tendencies that would lead anyone to believe you have at least some experience. No one will stare at you. That’s helpful. You’d never be able to pull off pretending to be a Dom if it wasn’t dormant inside you.”

  He glances at me again. “Thank you? I think?”

  I chuckle. This entire situation is surreal and beyond awkward. I feel like I need to sort of teach Colt about the fetish world and my kink in particular. It wouldn’t be fair to say nothing because it doesn’t help if he’s in the dark. But it’s hard for me. I’m not a top. I don’t have the instinct to train someone to be a Daddy.

  “Well, if you’re open to helping me understand, I’ll be grateful, but if it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay too.”

  I shake my head. “I’m good. Better than I was earlier. I can help you. I want to. I want you to fit in. It could be the difference between life and death for me.” I shudder at the thought.

  He reaches over and grabs my hand, not letting it go. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Eve. It’s my job.”

  I swallow, hating that he had to add that last sentence. I’m a job. He’s here to protect me. I’m emotional and confused about him. I find myself having all sorts of inappropriate thoughts about him. Partly because I react to him unlike I react to any other man and partly because this is all a ruse. It’s not real. I’m not supposed to have any thoughts about Colt. He’s not mine. Or rather, I’m not his.

  Colt draws in a breath. “Okay, here goes nothing. So, this spanking. How is it actually a deterrent at all? I mean, Britney was…you know…”

  “Aroused.” I can’t help but smile.

  “Yes, aroused.”

  “Well, for her yes. It’s a deterrent despite the arousal. Or at least it’s meant to be. Britney likes boundaries. It’s their dynamic. Davis is strict with her because she craves it. He makes the rules, and she follows them because it comforts her. It also arouses her to do as she’s told. Not every little is like that.”

  He glances at me again at a red light. “But she likes it when he spanks her?”

  “Yes and no. She likes that he demonstrates she cannot control him. So, she tests him every once in a while to make sure he hasn’t gone soft, so to speak. Davis doesn’t let her get away with any naughty behavior, so Britney knows she can expect to get punished if she misbehaves. She won’t like it because he also ensures that she gets aroused, and then he won’t follow through and let her come.”

  Colt stares at me, the light still red.

  “I’m not that kind of little,” I inform him.

  He looks back at the road and continues driving. “Can you explain that to me?” he asks gently.

  I take a deep breath.

  “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable. I’m just trying to understand so I don’t fuck this up.”

  I shake my head. “No problem. It’s just hard to talk about it. But you need to know, so I’m working on it.”

  “Okay.” He gives my hand another squeeze. I love how he does that. It’s reassuring. Everything about my life is awkward right now, but when Colt touches me… It calms me. That fact alone should freak me out.

  “So, I’ve never had my own Daddy, someone I saw regularly or lived with. There are a lot of littles like that. We play at the club with other littles and do scenes with Daddies.”

  “You schedule them?”

  “Yes. Often ahead of time or that night.” I turn toward him a bit. “I schedule a time slot with someone and then we negotiate what we’re going to do, either ahead of time or right then.”

  He nods, his brow furrowed in concentration. It’s intense, and sexy.

  “Usually we agree that I’m going to do something naughty or that I previously did it. Totally pretend. It warrants me getting spanked, so he spanks me. Afterward, just like any scene in a club, the sub needs aftercare.”

  “What’s that?”

  “The Dom who just did the spanking, flogging, caning, or whatever, looks after the sub, or in this case the little, holding her and giving her water and praise. A spanking gives me a sort of high and I separate from myself a bit. It leaves me shaking and raw. Woozy. I need a blanket and cuddling.”

  He pulls up to my apartment building and looks around.

  I don’t say anything else while he concentrates on our surroundings. I’m looking around too, hoping no one is lurking in the dark. Finally, he enters the parking garage, and we remain quiet while he parks and leads me into the building.

  We don’t speak again until we’re inside my apartment. He helps me out of my coat, then removes his before leading me to the sofa. When he sits, he pats the spot next to him. “Are you too tired to continue?”

  “No.” I shake my head as I lower myself awkwardly beside him. I’d rather finish this odd conversation than leave it for later. At least right now I’m not currently in a panic.

  “You were telling me about aftercare. I think I get it. Like the act of g
etting spanked draws you into a state of relaxation that leaves you depleted.”

  “Exactly.” I blow out a breath. He gets it.

  “So, do the uh…Daddies spank you for pain or pleasure? You, in particular, I mean.”

  I lick my lips. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t sleep with them. It’s not what I need.”

  “Oh.” He looks surprised. “You never have sex with them?”

  I shake my head. “Nope. I want the release I get from a spanking. I enjoy spending time in my little space relaxing. It’s not sexual for me.” Or it never has been. I’m startled by my reaction to Colt. I think it’s because the lines are blurred between us. I’ve been attracted to him as a man from the moment I met him. The sort of guy I definitely want to enjoy a night between the sheets with.

  I shouldn’t be interested in him at all. It’s not rational. But I can’t help that I’m attracted to him physically, nor can I help that his job is going to entail him pretending to dominate me at the club for the sake of keeping me safe.

  “But it’s sexual for Britney?”

  “For sure. For her the entire dynamic is sexual. Submitting to Davis makes her horny. It’s not uncommon. But neither is my way.”

  “Okay. So, you go to the club, meet up with a Daddy. He spanks you. He snuggles with you. Then you leave and go home alone.”

  “Yes.”

  “And this is the sort of relationship you have with Owen?”

  She nods. “Yes.”

  “But you see him outside of the club too,” He points out, his voice lifting as if he’s asking me a question. My dynamic with Owen is confusing to him.

  I shrug. “Only because I ran into him at his bar one night. I didn’t know he owned it. I talked to him for a while, and then we started meeting sometimes for coffee. We’re just friends.” I glance at him and roll my eyes at his incredulous expression. “Even though you don’t believe in that possibility.”

  He holds up both hands in surrender. “I’m not the one who has to believe you,” I tease.

  I chuckle. “Owen gets me.”

  “Okay, okay. Now… Don’t answer this question if you don’t want to, but do you date other people who are vanilla and have sex with them?”

  I smile. “Yes.”

  He swallows as if this makes him a bit unnerved. It’s cute. Him thinking about me having sex with other men and it disturbing him. I feel kind of powerful right now.

  Nothing can happen between us, and I’m certain he agrees, but the thought that he’s attracted to me is enough to bolster my ego.

  “Are you dating such a man right now?”

  I smile again. “Nope. And before you ask, it’s a complicated arrangement. Believe me, I know. I don’t share my little space with anyone ever outside of Surrender. It takes far too much trust to get to that level of comfort. It opens up vulnerability that I can’t deal with, so usually, my sex involves a one-night stand after a night out with coworkers or something. Always at his place. I don’t bring men here.”

  He stares at me.

  I roll my eyes again. “Oh, don’t get all righteous on me. Men have one-night stands all the time. Why can’t women? And, let me point out, for every man on a one-night stand, there’s a woman beneath him. Or…on top of him.” I grin.

  Colt chuckles. “Okay. You’re right. I just can’t really picture you doing it.”

  “Well, I’m not a robot. I like sex.” I shrug.

  “But you never mix it with your little space.”

  “Right. Maybe I could if I found the right Daddy and entered into an actual relationship with him. I don’t know. Maybe not.” It’s kind of sad when I hear myself tell this. My life consists of scenes with men I don’t sleep with, and sex with men I don’t share my life with. Pitiful.

  I guess I’ve dreamed of having a Daddy in my life like Davis or Roman or any number of other Daddies I’ve met, but I’ve never even come close to having a relationship like that, so I’ve convinced myself I don’t even want or need a permanent Daddy. Being little is something I can do all alone without a Daddy. Just like no one needs a man to have sex. I’ve got vibrators. They work too.

  “You’re thinking awfully hard,” Colt points out.

  I shake the thoughts from my head. “This arrangement is beyond awkward.”

  He nods and reaches for my hand again, staring at it and stroking my knuckles while he speaks. “I know it is, and I’m also certain I shouldn’t reach out and touch you like this. It’s just that…”

  “It calms me.”

  He lifts his gaze. “Yes. When you get agitated, I’ve noticed I can relax you with a touch. I’m blurring the lines between us though and that’s dangerous and unfair. You’re an attractive woman. Fun. Witty. Smart. If I met you randomly somewhere, I would be interested. But it’s inappropriate to get involved with you. I’m here to do a job.”

  My heart rate picks up. This is the first time he’s voicing the elephant in the room. “I’m attracted to you too. If I met you randomly somewhere, I’d pursue the one-night stand I mentioned.” I grin.

  He returns the smile. “I’d take you up on it in a heartbeat. But let me just say something to squelch that idea.”

  I swallow. I’m not super fond of squelching the idea. Part of me would like this man to fuck me into the middle of tomorrow, damn the consequences.

  “I like you a bit too much.”

  I scrunch up my face. “That’s the most absurd line I’ve ever heard. Ranks up there with ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’”

  He chuckles. “True. What I mean is that I’d never walk away from you after one night. It wouldn’t be enough. And one night is all I have to offer. I don’t have the kind of job that’s conducive to maintaining relationships. I work too much. Sometimes I go deep undercover for months at a time. That’s not fair to a woman, so I don’t get into relationships. When I meet someone I find myself craving for more than one night, I turn and run in the opposite direction.”

  I cringe. “That’s so sad.”

  He shrugs. “It is what it is.”

  “Well, we’re even then, because I don’t do relationships either. What I’d want doesn’t exist in any sort of world, so I’ve arranged my life so that it works for me. I get what I need from a Daddy at the club. I get what I need from vanilla men on the side without much discussion. In between, I take care of myself.”

  He frowns. “That seems kind of lonely.”

  I lift a brow. “Less lonely than your life?”

  “Touché.” He glanced down at our combined hands. “Do you mind if I continue to touch you like this?”

  “No.” My voice is soft. I don’t mind at all. I like it. I wish I could have more, but I can’t. So I’ll take what I can get. “Do you mind sleeping in my bed like we did last night?”

  “No.” He smiles at me. God, I love his smile.

  “Good. I’m afraid I won’t sleep without you close to me.” I shiver.

  He releases my hand to stroke my cheek. “I’ll sleep better close to you too. It reassures me you’re safe.”

  I take a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go get ready for bed.” I ease away from him and stand, fidgeting.

  He reaches for my hand once more, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll use the hall bathroom and meet you there in a few.”

  “’K.” I step back until our hands disconnect, then I flee. I don’t look back as I rush through my bedroom and into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I’m a mess. I need my little. She would calm me, even more than his touch. But he’s not ready to see me fully in my little persona, and I’m not willing to share anyway. I’d never be able to relax. If this goes on very long, I’m going to have withdrawal symptoms. Ugh.

  I quickly brush my teeth and change into a soft pink tank top and cotton shorts. They’re white with bunnies on them. Babyish, but I think that ship has sailed. He won’t judge me.

  I climb into bed and burrow deep with Jessie, surprised to find myself drifting off even before I feel the bed dip
next to me. I’m half asleep, but I exhale deeply after Colt joins me.

  Chapter 10

  Colton

  I’m in over my head. I’ve known this since the moment I laid eyes on Evelyn Dean. The woman has me wrapped around her finger. Both the woman and the little that she’s barely permitted me to glimpse.

  She’s scared. I don’t blame her. I hate that I’m the reason she can’t be herself in her own home. I wish I could do something to alleviate her nervous tension. But it’s out of my hands. Maybe after Friday night she’ll feel more comfortable around me. After I’ve seen her fully in her little space at the club. After I’ve watched her scene with another man.

  I cringe at the thought, which is not fair. She can do whatever she wants. I don’t own her. Not even close. I couldn’t if I wanted to. Nor could I ever give her what she deserves and needs. I’m not cut out to be a Daddy. I can get over the shock and play the role she needs, but full-time? Not a chance.

  She’s adorable all curled up next to me in her bed. I’m kind of surprised she fell asleep so easily, but the last several hours have been difficult. I’m sure she’s exhausted.

  She’s left the bathroom light on again. I wonder if that’s something she always does or if it’s because of the threat or because I’m here. In any case, I can see her clearly, and I can’t stop watching her as she settles deeper into sleep.

  Finally, she sighs heavily and rolls fully toward me. It’s completely subconscious on her part, but I lift my arm above her head, making it easier for her to burrow into my side. Her head rests perfectly in the crook of my arm, and I set my palm on her hip.

  The covers have fallen down to her thighs, so I have a view of far too much of her now. The tiny pink tank top she’s wearing hides nothing. Her breast is high and pert. Not very large, but perfect. Her nipple is a hard point that I’m itching to stroke—either with my fingers or my lips.