by Anna B. Doe
Bel wants to get off my lap, but my hold on her tightens. There is no way I’m letting her out of my arms. Whatever she has to say, she can say from right here where she is.
She gets the silent message, so she settles in my lap, sighing loudly in surrender.
“I haven’t been to the doctor, but you’re right … I’ve been feeling off. Throwing up a lot, feeling dizzy, and just plain tired.”
“That’s it.” Fear like no other washes over me, but I fight through it. Anabel needs me to be strong. Composed. Reliable. Solid. Not to fall apart when she needs me the most. My hands tighten around her as I carefully stand with her in my arms. There is nothing more precious in this life than her, and I’ll be damned if I hurt her. “We’re going to the doctor right now.”
“I don’t think we have to …”
I shake my head. She’s not fighting me on this. If she isn’t feeling well we’re going to the doctor to get to the bottom of this. “Yes, we do! You said it yourself, you haven’t been feeling well, and I’m not going to look at you drift apart before my eyes. I’m not going to lose you—”
“You’re not losing me, Will. I think I’m pregnant,” she cuts me off mid-sentence, but I ignore her protest and continue.
“Losing my Dad was enough. I’m not—” Suddenly, her words register in my mind, and I stop dead in my tracks. “Say again?”
“I think I’m pregnant. No.” She shakes her head. “I know I am. Dizziness, nausea … I’m always tired, and I’m sensitive to smells, and my breasts hurt like bitch.”
“You’re pregnant,” I whisper. Shocked.
Pregnant.
Baby.
We’re going to have a baby.
What the actual fuck?
Babies are small and noisy. They cry and make demands and poop all over the place. They need a lot of shit and attention and did I mention they cry? Loudly. They never let you sleep at night and …
How is that even possible? We were always careful. She’s on pill and I’m … fuck!
I stumble back on the bench. Cold wood pressing against my back.
“I’m sorry, Will. I know this is not how it was supposed to go. We talked about it. We were supposed to wait a bit, but …”
A baby. We’re having a baby.
A little human being that is has a part of Anabel and part of me. Something we created together.
My eyelids fall closed, and I rub my face, my hands going through my already messy hair. A little girl like Bel with dark curls and vivid blue eyes. A girl with a mischievous smile that will make me do anything she want. Or maybe a boy with messy brown hair and brown eyes who I’ll teach how to play ball.
Images start appearing behind my eyes in flashes. So vivid. So real.
My heart aches with longing and I realize something.
Although I’m scared, I want it. I want that little human so bad.
“Will?” Bel’s shaky voice brings me out of my mind.
“How long did you know?”
She looks away, swallowing hard. “I never took the test. Everything was happening so fast. I was stressed about the thesis and internship and wedding … And after our talk when Si and J.D. announced their pregnancy I was scared of what you’ll say.” Tears gather in her eyes and I feel like a total dick. “Not doing the test meant I can keep living in the bubble of denial for a little while longer.”
Anabel thought she couldn’t tell me. She thought I’d be mad because she got pregnant before we planned it. I want to punch something. I want to yell at her and ask her does she really think I’m the kind of man who would turn his back on her just because things didn’t go the way we planned it, but I don’t.
A part of me understands this is not her talking, it’s the fear.
The distance that’s been between us on and off for the last year.
There were days when even I asked myself what if. What if she found somebody who’ll make her laugh over here? What if she fell in love? What if the distance becomes too much? What if …
“Let’s go.” I get up from my seat once again with her in my arms.
“Go where?”
“To buy the test.”
*
I didn’t let her go, no matter how much she protested. If I thought she’s precious before she detonated the baby-bomb, now I’ll be even more protective of her.
Her and our baby.
Because, yes. Anabel is pregnant.
At least, according to the three tests sitting on the bathroom counter.
I dragged her to the pharmacy and bought the tests and then I almost ran back to her place so that she can take them and we can find out if she’s really pregnant or if it’s something else.
“What are we going to do?” she utters, nervously biting at her nails.
Although she suspected she’s pregnant, she still seems surprised. Maybe she was holding onto the hope that this isn’t real. That there was a possibility that she isn’t pregnant.
“Nothing.”
Anabel’s eyes look at me, furrow appearing between her brows. “Nothing?”
“Nothing,” I agree, getting on my knees before her so we’re at the same level. Her bathroom is too small for this shit, but I’m not going out of here before I get my message across. I take her hands in mine, my lips kissing the inside of her wrists.
“We’re continuing how we planned.” With one hand, I lift her chin so I know she’s getting every word I say. “You’re packing and coming with me to the States. We’ll get married in a few weeks like we were supposed to, and we’ll go on our honeymoon before I leave for training camp.”
“What about the b-baby?” she stutters the last word out, almost like she’s afraid of it. Blue eyes grow wide.
What color will be our baby’s eyes? Brown like mine or blue like Bel’s?
“What about the baby? If I’m not mistaken, we still have some time before the baby comes to prepare everything.” I shrug. “But first and most important of all, you have to start eating. I don’t think it’s healthy for you or the baby that you’ve lost so much weight.”
“I should probably go and see the doctor. Maybe something isn’t right.” Her eyes, fill with tears look at me. “What if something isn’t right? What if all this throwing up was a sign but I kept ignoring it and now it’s …”
Her fear fills the whole bathroom. It’s so palpable I could take it in my hand and put it in a bottle.
My hands wrap around her, and I lift her in my arms. Her arms and legs hold onto me tightly, her face buried in my neck crying silent tears.
“Shh … You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“What if I did? We can’t know that,” she protests.
“I just know it. You wouldn’t do anything to hurt our baby.”
“Our baby.”
Anabel lifts her head to look at me. Her face is stained with tears, but her lips form a little O in surprise. I guess she really didn’t allow herself to think about the possibility of being pregnant before.
“Our baby.” I smile reassuringly, kissing her nose. “But you should call your doctor and arrange the visit. Just to make sure everything is okay. Or we could call your mom, or my mom and see with them.”
She shakes her head no. “I don’t want to tell anybody yet. Everything can happen and with the wedding, it’s just too much. Besides, I want this baby to be just ours for a little while longer.”
My hand covers her stomach instantly. Her much smaller hands settle over mine and give me a squeeze. There is no bump just yet, only a slight curve to her tummy. Or maybe it’s just my wishful thinking because in my head I can see Anabel carrying my baby. Her stomach round and her breasts full. She’ll look even more beautiful than before.
“Ours.”
CHAPTER 19
ANABEL
After that, we didn’t stay much longer in Croatia. I called my doctor and got an appointment the very next day.
The doctor confirmed what we already knew—I’m pregnant. Eleven weeks to b
e precise. Morning sickness, dizziness, and being tired are all signs of my current state but are most likely increased due to the stress in my everyday life. I got medicine to help me with nausea, as well as prenatal vitamins and strict instructions to take it easy and be stress-free.
Something that William takes really seriously.
He helped me pack—read: he was the one packing and I was supposed to lie down while he did so. In the end, I had four suitcases to take with me to the States and the rest of stuff we left at my parents’ house before we boarded the plane later that week.
Through all this William has been amazing. So sweet and caring. He’s even more careful with me than ever before. Treats me like a princess and he’s already obsessed with our baby.
His hands always find a way to settle on my stomach and sometimes he even lifts my shirt to talk to the baby and kiss the soft skin of my belly. There is nothing actually to kiss, the curve of my tummy is maybe just a tad more pronounced than before, but he doesn’t care. He’s so in love with this baby and he or she isn’t even here. I can only imagine how he’ll be once the baby is actually born.
I always knew he’d be amazing father, all this just confirms it. My baby, our baby, will be the luckiest kid on this planet to have him for daddy.
Boarding the plane was bittersweet. Raging pregnancy hormones didn’t help much. Moving permanently to another continent wasn’t an easy decision to make, far from it. But it was the right decision to make.
Croatia will always be in my heart, but it isn’t home anymore. William is home. And no matter how hard and painful is to leave everything I know behind, I’m excited about my future with the man I love.
William hired a car company to wait for us since J.D. gave him a ride to the airport. Even though I slept through most of the twenty-something-hour-long flight I’m still feeling tired, so I doze off during the ride home. My life is finally returning to normal and my body is catching up on some much-needed rest.
It doesn’t seem too long when soft kisses wake me up.
“We’re home, baby.”
I stir against him, snuggling more into his warmth.
“Can’t you carry me inside?” I’m still sleepy and I don’t want to wake up. I guess until this moment I haven’t even realized how tired I was.
“Nope, you have to see this for yourself.”
I open one eye and narrow it at him. “I know that tone. What did you do?”
“Why do you think I did something?” His smile is extra toothy and sweet.
“Because I know you.” I sit straight and open the door. “You’re all smiles when you do something …”
My legs touch the ground and I get out of the car. Words get stuck in my throat while my mouth hangs open.
In the distance, I can hear the sound of doors closing and footsteps coming closer. William’s hands wrap around me from behind, settling protectively over my stomach.
“Welcome home, Anabel.”
“This isn’t home.” I don’t know how words get out of me, I’m shocked into silence.
We’re standing in front of the biggest house I’ve ever seen in the real life.
It’s a two-story colonial style house. The house is covered in white brick on the outside with black windows, doors and shutters. It’s big and imposing but also beautiful. There is a swing on the front porch and potted plants.
“It is now.”
“You bought me a house?”
“Now, Bel. Let’s not get selfish, okay?” he teases me. “I bought us a house.”
“I’m not selfish!” I punch him in the gut with my elbow. “You bought me a house.”
I still can’t believe it. A house. For us. He never said anything.
His apartment was amazing, but this is another level.
“Wanna go in and see?”
I look over my shoulder with the biggest, goofiest smile known to a man. “Hell, yeah!”
*
“You’re eating pineapple again?” I laugh at my friend who’s literally inhaling pieces of juicy fruit.
Sweet juice drops down her chin, but she simply wipes it with her finger before stuffing another piece into her mouth.
“Don’t judge it till you try it!” Sienna points her finger accusingly at me. “Which will probably be sooner rather than later.”
“What?” I shriek in surprise.
How does she know I’m pregnant? It’s impossible. We didn’t say anything to anybody. The plan was to wait until after the wedding. Like the plans usually work for us. The plan was also to wait before getting pregnant and look at us now.
This secret is eating me alive. I want to tell my friends and family, but it just isn’t the right moment.
With moving to the new house, organizing the wedding, taking care of all the paperwork that moving from Croatia requires and finding a doctor, there was never the right moment. Most of the days I’m so tired when the day is over that I just crash into bed and sleep. Thankfully, all of that will be over after the wedding this Saturday.
I’m getting married in two days.
Two freaking days.
“I’m just saying,” Sienna mutters with a full mouth. “Now that you’re officially tying the knot, I can’t imagine Willy-boy will wait much before y’all are pregnant.”
She doesn’t know.
Inwardly, I sigh in relief, but on the outside, I simply shrug. I don’t want to lie to her face, but at the same time I can’t admit the truth.
“You’re eight months pregnant, Si. Where do you put all of that?”
She’s huge. Like a house or something. Not that I would dare to say it out loud. But it looks good on her. She didn’t gain a lot of weight generally—her arms and legs are still long and lean—but her belly is big and round. And boobs. I think she’s at least double her original size. If my baby will be that big I won’t be able to get out of the bed half my pregnancy.
“I don’t know! This baby is always hungry,” she whines and rolls her amber eyes. “Reminds you of somebody we know?”
“Like father, like son.”
Just in that moment, the front door opens.
“Look, dude! I told you already, I don’t have idea who you are. Wait here, and I’ll send somebody to get you,” Val yells from the foyer. I can hear irritation clearly written in her voice.
Valentine came a couple of days ago with my family. We wanted them to stay with us a little longer and get used to the time change before the ceremony. Val’s boyfriend was supposed to come too, but in the end, he decided to stay home.
She’s been really angry at the whole situation but with their problems, I wasn’t surprised he didn’t come and she was feeling a bit snappy.
Si and I share a look. “I’ll go check who’s at the door.”
But before I even get off the chair the door slums shut and Val marches into the kitchen, blond curls bouncing wildly on her shoulders.
“Chocolate mint ice cream. You’re lucky I didn’t pour it down that asshole’s head.” She shows with her hand in the general direction of the front of the house.
“What did the poor guy do?” I laugh, but my friend doesn’t find it funny.
Sienna opens the carton of ice cream and grabs two spoons, offering one to Val.
“Hey! What about me?” I complain.
“She’s under a lot of stress. Poor thing.”
“I’m under a lot of stress too!”
“Don’t be dramatic, Bel.” Sienna rolls her eyes and grabs a bit of ice cream and puts pineapple on top, eating the whole thing. “So, what did the asshole do?”
“Jackass bumped into me in the store so hard I started falling on my butt, but then he decided he wants to be a knight in shining armor, so he grabbed me to stop me from getting a nasty bruise on my butt.”
“That’s not so bad,” I offer, but judging by her stern look, I wouldn’t say she agrees.
“He grabbed me for my boobs.”
“He …”
“What …”
<
br /> Sienna and I look at each other before bursting into laughter.
“Not funny at all.” She rubs her chest. “I think I’ll have bruises form his meaty fingers. At first, I was shocked, but he kept on laughing. Said ‘my chest got in the way’, what a dick. I was so angry I stomped on his foot! But he kept on laughing. And then he followed me all the way here, riding my ass the whole time. What is his problem?”
We’re both still laughing so hard the tears gather in our eyes.
“Seriously, it’s not funny! If I see that guy again I’ll knee him in the nuts. We’ll see if he finds that funny! And to think I said I should have come to the States with Anabel that summer and maybe I would find my William Price. The first guy I meet when I come here is some douchebag with grabby, meaty fingers and no sense for personal space whatsoever.”
Val sighs dramatically before she sits in one of the chairs, drained from all that happened.
“Should I put on a jockstrap or something?”
I jump in the air at the sound of the new voice. My hand covers my rapidly beating heart as I turn around. “Nate! You scared me to death! What do you think, sneaking behind our back like that?”
He smiles innocently, scratching the nape of his neck. “I though you heard me, but with little firecracker over there yelling like that, I’m not surprised you didn’t.” Leaning down he gives me a hug, his lips brushing against my cheek. “Please don’t let her chop me into pieces, Bel.”
Laughing at his words, I return the familiar greeting.
“You’re the one who pissed off Val?” I chuckle.
“Why is he here?” Val crosses hands over her chest staring him down with narrowed eyes.
“Val, meet Nate Price. William’s little brother.”
His blue eyes twinkle when realization sinks into her. Nate takes a cautious step forward, offering her his hand, but Val is too shocked to move. Her mouth hangs open in surprise.
“On je Willov brat[1]?” she asks me in Croatian, completely ignoring the person in question.
“Ne možeš reći da nisi upoznala svog Pricea.[2]” I reply in our mother tongue with a secretive wink before switching to English. “Now be a good girl and talk so everybody can understand you.”
