Perfectly Loved

by Lacey Silks

  “And just how much are you enjoying yourself?” His voice became deep and sultry, and gave me the buzz that came whenever he spoke that way.

  “Not the way you’re thinking, Dave.”

  “And how do you know what I’m thinking?”

  “Because I know you. Was there something else you wanted?”

  “Are you running away from the city, babe?”

  “Ahm, no.”

  “Liar. Millie, come back. Stay with me. We can get through this together.”

  “Dave, I didn’t leave because I was afraid,” – well, that wasn’t exactly the truth – “I left because I needed time. My head is clearing the old-fashioned way. Time.”

  “And you’ll be back for Thanksgiving?”

  “Probably,” I lied again, but I didn’t want him worried; or worse yet, to send out a search party for me. He’d done it before.

  “Okay, just keep in touch, please,” he said.

  “Will do. Ciao!” I chirped, and hung up.

  Ciao? Had too much air rearranged the language capacities of my brain? I set the gun back in the brown bag from my car, went back to the house and put it away in one of the kitchen cupboards, on the top shelf.

  That faint sound I thought I’d heard the night before resonated through the forest again. Feeling the cool breeze, I put my hat on and stepped between the trees and shrubs, pulling my feet through the soft underbrush. The sound got louder. With each step, I became more certain that it was a stream. The last leaves of the season ruffled above, some floating down to the ground. The thinner birch trees swayed with the wind creating an eerie yet familiar atmosphere as pieces of white bark peeled away from the trunks. The smell of decaying leaves and moss drifted around me. A taller bunch of grass tickled my hand and I jumped up.

  As the trees thinned out, I finally saw the stream. It was a little wider than the one at Mrs. Bowers’ house, but what struck me more than the stream itself was just how familiar it felt. I stopped at the edge, and feeling goosebumps swarm over me, I wrapped my arms around myself.

  “This place feels weird.”

  I could have sworn that I’d dreamt of this very moment: me standing at the edge of a stream, just like this. I knew I’d been to a similar one at Mrs. Bowers’ place, but here it felt different. I remembered the position of each tree, shrub, and irregularity in the shore’s curve. Was it possible that I’d dreamt about this place? Had I been trying to connect with nature too much? Was I becoming a psychic? A fortuneteller, perhaps? Or a medium of some sort? The only thing that was missing was the rope I’d imagined, right in this spot. In that dream, I’d swing down to the water where someone would catch me.

  A cool gust of wind blew, ruffling the leaves behind me. I slowly lifted my head, drawing my gaze higher and higher, until I saw a piece of torn rope with a row of knots to grasp, attached to a branch above my head. My knees felt week, I screamed, and ran back through the forest to my car.

  Chapter 10

  Dave

  Eleven years earlier

  High school was finally over, and it felt like I was about to begin the second part of my life. The only greater feeling than receiving that diploma in my hand would have been Millie turning eighteen, which was going to happen next week. As excited as she was for that day, at that point she couldn’t have been anticipating it more than I was.

  This was the first full summer we’d spend with our neighbors at their home up in the mountains. The place was less than an hour northwest of the city. We’d celebrated every holiday and summer at our cabin down the road, but since Dad had planned its renovation for this summer, we couldn’t. The lab where Dad was working was also undergoing major changes. He’d purchased a new building and was planning to expand the forensics business. With the construction in full swing, we’d decided to spend the summer with the couple down the road, Mr. and Mrs. Bowers, helping them with farm chores until September. Millie had met the Bowers the previous Thanksgiving and we’d visited again for Christmas, but given that we hadn’t been there in six months, and Tim Bowers was having troubles with his joints and walking, the farm had a lot of work waiting for us.

  “Like this, Millie,” April said, as she shoved the pitchfork into the pile of hay.

  The girls had plaited their hair into two braids, one on each side, and wore denim overalls over their plaid shirts. They were taking this farming experience to a whole new level, but I’d learned that if Millie put her mind to something, she’d never settle for a half-assed job. Yesterday they’d even agreed to shovel the manure out of the pigsty. I could still smell it on them when they got too close. And right now, moving the hay from one heap to another, they were beginning to resemble two scarecrows. Wisps of straw were sticking through their hair, out their sleeves, and from underneath the overalls. I shook my head and tied another decorative bale together. Mrs. Bowers would display these in front of their house in the fall.

  Mr. Bowers sat outside, smoking his pipe. The cough that left his lungs every few breaths was beginning to hurt my chest. Actually, he hadn’t been well ever since he’d been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and he was less mobile each time I saw him.

  It had been over a month since I’d made the deal with Millie to start seeing each other, and the feeling of swimming in foreign waters hadn’t eased. I didn’t want to push her too fast or too hard. I didn’t want to scare her. And I knew that Millie was confused about us as well. She was afraid to risk what she had — a family — but those fears were unwarranted. She’d never lose us. Keeping our relationship a secret hadn’t stopped me from looking at her like she was the only one in the world, though – especially when she bent over, just like the way she was right then, with the crease of her pants riding right into her ass. If anyone knew about the naughty images of the two of us that were flashing through my mind, I’d be a dead man.

  I leaned against the barn door, imagining all the different ways I could touch her. We’d only kissed so far. It was nothing mind-blowing — a little bit of tongue and closer body contact — as Millie was always afraid someone would catch us. Still, I’d taken what she offered, and imagined the rest; because deep inside, all I wanted to do was to take her, strip her, and discover all the pale secrets of her body, such as whether it was covered with scattered patches of freckles, the way her arms were.

  “Are you going to stand here and molest that girl with your eyes all day?” Mr. Bowers asked me.

  “No, sir. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were watching.”

  “Well, I was.”

  “I’ll go fill up the tubs with water.” One of my responsibilities was to ensure the pigs and two cows had enough food and water every day. Mr. Bowers was looking for a buyer, hoping to sell the livestock before summer’s end.

  “You won’t do anything that silly. Have you seen the way she looks at you, boy?”

  “I have, sir.”

  “Well, aren’t you going to do anything about it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Hasn’t your father taught you about the birds and the bees?”

  “Well, yes. I know all about that, but Millie…”

  “Millie is a fine young woman, and if you don’t know what to do with that, then you’re a pussy.”

  I chuckled. “I’m trying to respect her.”

  “Did you see that look in her eyes, boy? Respect is the last thing that woman wants.”

  A blind man could see that. Of course, I knew what she wanted since it was the exact same thing that I wanted, but with Millie… I couldn’t make any mistakes.

  “We’re seeing each other but no one knows. Millie’s afraid it will ruin the family dynamic, and she’ll be left out.”

  “Then you need to convince her otherwise.”

  “I tried.”

  “Not hard enough. Do I have to teach you how to catch a woman? When I was your age, I’d have sealed the deal a long time ago. If there’s a will, there’s a way.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, though my gaze
never left her bending body. Thank God, I was wearing looser pants this morning.

  “Hey, April,” Mr. Bowers called out. My sister came to his side as he said, “Help me get the season’s last pick of tomatoes for Beatrice, will you?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  April grabbed the basket from beside Mr. Bowers. As they left, he winked at me and motioned with his chin toward Millie. He wasn’t expecting me to do it right here, was he? Hell with him. I squared my shoulders, grabbed another pitchfork, and joined her.

  “Where did April go?” Millie asked.

  “To help with the garden.”

  “Oh, then I should as well.”

  “No, I think she’ll be fine. Let’s finish with the hay.” I shoved the pitchfork into the pile and lifted a heap so heavy that it almost knocked me over backward. Millie stood beside me, watching as I moved one load after another. Okay, so maybe I wanted to show off a bit, but there was nothing wrong with getting more attention from the girl I was crazy about.

  “You’re acting weird.”

  I stopped and scanned her from the bottom up. If it were any other girl, I would have had her down in that hay long ago, but Millie wasn’t just anyone. She was the center of my universe.

  “Because I keep thinking about you in all the ways I shouldn’t be.”

  Her mouth opened by a fraction and she gasped through her dry lips. The pitchfork dropped from her hand but neither one of us paid attention to it.

  “What ways?” she asked.

  “I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

  “We… kiss.”

  With the intense energy sizzling between us, we were becoming a fire hazard to this barn. I shook my head and took a step toward her.

  “Those aren’t kisses, Millie. They’re teases. They’re our everyday little reminders of what’s eventually going to happen between us.”

  “And what do you think is going to happen between us?”

  We were so close to each other, I could taste her breath. I reached for her slender hips and brought them to my front, pressing her against my erection. That slight contact felt so good, too good, and it reminded me that I hadn’t found relief since we got here three nights ago. My balls were begging to be emptied.

  “I want you” – I leaned my forehead against hers – “in every way that a man wants a woman. I want to shower your whole body with my kisses and for my mouth to feel the change of your skin texture from your toes all the way up to your mouth—”

  “—I want that too.”

  “What did you just say?”

  “I want that too. If there’s anyone I want to be with, it’s you. I was actually surprised you haven’t made a move yet.”

  Our hands were connected, fingers woven together, and our grip tightened with impatience, her hips swaying and her groin rubbing my cock back and forth.

  “I didn’t want to push you away. Millie… I… well, you may think I have, but I haven’t.”

  “What?”

  “I haven’t slept with anyone before, okay? If that makes me a loser, then so be it.”

  “No, it makes you mine. Only mine.” She gave me a loving smile that twisted my insides out. “And it makes me only yours.” She nuzzled her nose into the nook of my neck, teasing me. Her breath warmed my skin there and made me go completely hard.

  “So, are we going to do it here?” She pointed to the hay.

  “No way. You’re too special for a barn. But there’s something else I’ve wanted to do for a while.”

  “Wha—”

  I shut her up with my mouth, pressing it hard against hers, stealing the last part of her question. The world around us disappeared. It was just me and Millie, in that barn on a sunny day, possessed by something so deep I couldn’t find the strength to pull away. And so I just went with it. I wrapped my arms around her, the way I’d always wanted to, without fearing that someone would catch us, completely encasing her and holding her tightly against me, stroking the bare part of her neck with my fingers. She opened her mouth wider, eager to take my tongue and let it guide hers, digging her fingers into my arms before she dragged her hands around my neck and stood on the tips of her toes. Her breasts swelled. I felt their outline at my lower chest, including the hard nipples, poking through the shirt and digging into me. Feeling her hard pubic bone rub me, I took her into my arms and walked the few steps toward the larger pile of hay the girls had stacked earlier.

  We lay down on the soft yet prickly surface, and my hands wandered over her body. Her quiet yelps into my mouth encouraged me to keep her lips pried open. I couldn’t get enough of her. She tasted like nature, in a good way. It was a blend of ripening fruit, free spirit, and farm air.

  “Are we doing this here?” she asked between her breaths. Her pupils were dilated and mouth swollen from my assaults.

  “No, baby. I just can’t stop kissing you.”

  She laughed. It was one of the best sounds I’d ever heard her make, and I sealed off further questions by kissing her some more. My hands wandered between the straps of her overalls. I opened the top button of her shirt, our gazes never parting. Then three more, and there was a white lacy bra. I skimmed my finger underneath it, right over that tight pink bud. Her body tensed, her eyes lolled back, and her mouth opened, releasing a quiet gasp of pleasure. My dick was doing some sort of a stiff dance. I slid my hand underneath her shirt and felt her breast. It was small and tender, and I had the urge to strip the rest of her clothes to feel the temperature of her skin all over.

  “Well, isn’t this lovely.” Mrs. Bowers’ grunt sounded from the barn’s threshold, and I shot off Millie, totally forgetting that I had a boner in my pants.

  Millie’s cheeks turned crimson as she pulled the front of her shirt over her chest and hid behind me, adjusting her top and doing up the buttons. As she got up, she knocked over an empty jar at her side.

  “Ahn, we were just…” Millie lowered her head. It was cute. She was cute, and as I looked at her, I knew I’d never get rid of the hard-on while she was still there.

  “Playing hanky-panky? Yes, I saw. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. It’s not my business and not theirs; but if you want my advice, there are more comfortable and private places to make out at on this farm. Just make sure you don’t make any babies too soon. Education first, babies later. You want to make sure you can support them and not have to steal to feed your little ones.”

  Mrs. Bowers was talking as if she knew that from experience but the Bowers didn’t have any children, so maybe I was mistaken. Leading with her cane, Mrs. Bowers left with a wide smile stretched across her face.

  “Do you smell that?” I asked.

  “Yeah… like something’s burning.”

  I looked beside Millie where the sun had caught the jar’s end, its rays piercing through the glass and onto the hay, setting it smoldering. I stomped my feet before the fire could catch and moved the jar to a shaded area.

  “Holy crap. I almost set the barn on fire.” Millie’s eyes were wide open.

  “That’s because you’re hot,” I grinned.

  “And you’re cheesy. Come on, let’s get this stack over with.” I was sure her cheeks would keep their rosy shade for the rest of the afternoon.

  We finished arranging the hay, and Millie ran off to join April in the garden. I went to help my brother with the painting on the other side of the barn, and I didn’t see Millie again until dinnertime.

  She sat across from me, sneaking a peek my way every few minutes. If she kept this up, everyone would be in on our secret. Did she want it to come out? I kicked her lightly under the table and got a deadly look.

  As I stuck my fork into the mashed potatoes, I felt her foot slide up my leg. I stared at the sausage on my plate and for some reason I thought I saw it grow in size. My eyes flew wide open as her tiny toes maneuvered up and then inside the leg of my shorts. The fork slipped out of my grip and clanked to the plate. Everybody’s attention flew my way, but all I could do was conce
ntrate on the arousing feel of that gentle touch of her foot over my curve.

  I pushed the chair back. Millie had a wicked look of sin and desire in her eyes. I’d never seen her look at me that way before, and it excited me more than I could handle. With the napkin draped over my front, somewhat covering the effect she’d had on me, I carried my plate to the kitchen.

  “Are you okay?” Justin asked.

  “Fine. I don’t remember securing the lock on the sty. I’ll be right back.”

  Willing my hard-on to go down, I headed for the door.

  “I’ll help,” I heard Millie say behind me.

  I rushed outside and took a deep breath of air, trying to force the blood to flow back north. Nothing would help. The thought of her foot over me, teasing me and coaxing, wouldn’t leave me.

  Outside, the night had set. The air was still, and even the wind had betrayed me. I needed to cool off, and I had to do it fast. Was it too much to ask for something, anything, to help me ease that pressure in my groin? I leaned against the bark of a cherry tree in the front yard.

  “What the hell are you doing?” It took less than ten seconds for Millie to join me.

  “Me? What was that in there? Are you trying to kill me?”

  “I thought you’d like it,” she pouted. Her wet lips reflected the moonlight and didn’t ease my need for her at all.

  “I liked it, all right. Too much, in fact.”

  Her gaze slowly drew down my body and when she saw it, she gasped.

  “Can I touch it?” she asked.

  “What?”

  She didn’t repeat the question. Instead, focused on my erection, she reached toward me. As if in slow motion, every second that passed felt like an hour. When her hand finally curved around me, I thought I’d burst. The warmth and slight feel of her stroke urged pleasurable tension through my whole body. How much more could I take? The last thing I wanted was to spill out, right in front of Millie.

  I grasped her wrist and pulled it away.