Secrets & Surrender 3

by L. G. Castillo

  “It just doesn’t make sense, Juan. Why would Nic do something like that? He’s known the secret for months. Why now?”

  “Who the fuck knows. Maybe you pissed him off. Maybe he just got tired of you. Rich people like that don’t give a shit about us. You’re just too ‘in love’ to see past his bullshit. He’s the only one who could’ve ratted us out. He’s the one with the connections to have the sheriff waiting for us when we got to Koppe.”

  Bile climbed my throat. Juan was making too much sense. I didn’t want to believe him. I couldn’t. I shook my head, trying to find another explanation. “I don’t know.”

  “Fuck, Mandi! Are you that blind? Even Julian thinks it was a setup! He’s just too much into you to say that.”

  My eyes snapped to his with surprise. “What?”

  “Come off it, Mandi. You know Julian still likes you, even after you totally dissed him at the show last spring. Look at what he’s done for us. Before he went to pick up your sorry ass, he called his lawyer brother in San Antonio. If it wasn’t for his brother, Mom would’ve ended up in the detention center somewhere in Laredo instead of San Antonio.”

  Shaking my head, I pressed my hands against my throbbing temples. This was too much. After all this time, he still wanted me?

  There was a high-pitched squeal, and I ran to the window. Pushing the curtain back, I looked into the backyard. Julian was pushing Miguelito and Selina in the swings and had them squealing with laughter as he made faces at them. I sighed. As kind as Julian was to my family, I didn’t love him.

  “He’s been a good friend to you, to all of us.”

  “Shit, you’re so ungrateful! The man has to see you with White Bread almost every time he’s here, and you’re with White Bread all the time! And he still cares for you, for all of us. He volunteered to pick you up at the wedding just so Dad wouldn’t worry and could go straight to San Antonio to be with Mom. Julian’s the one you should be with, not the pinche gringo.”

  I whirled around, nostrils flaring at his insult. “Don’t you ever call Nic that again! I know there’s an explanation for what happened, and it wasn’t because of Nic. As soon as things get settled, I’ll find out what’s going on.”

  There was a knock at the front door.

  “That’s Chela.” I let out a sigh of relief for the distraction as I headed for the door. Juan should consider himself lucky that I hadn’t ripped that stupid tattoo off his arm. “Julian said she’d watch over the kids so we can go see Mom.”

  My breath caught in my throat the moment I opened the door.

  “Nic.”

  My heart thudded against my chest, transfixed by hazel eyes gazing at me with pleading remorse. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since I’d seen him and already my body cried for his arms, his kisses, his gentle touch. I wanted to throw my arms around him. I wanted him to hold me as I cried into his chest. I needed him desperately.

  “Mandi.” His hand reached out, hesitating at first before tenderly caressing my cheek. “Please let me explain.”

  It was with that simple touch that I finally felt complete again. I tilted my head into his hand, relishing its warmth and strength.

  “Pinche gringo! Get out of my house!”

  In a blur, Juan pushed me aside as he flew through the door. With a feral growl, he tackled Nic, sending them both crashing onto the porch and rolling down the porch steps.

  THREE: Nic

  Iron rods pounded into my ribs. One after the other, rock hard fists slammed into me. Pure venom poured out of Juan’s mouth as he cursed me in two languages. And I took it all, each and every well-deserved, savage blow. Juan hated me. He always had. Looking at my reflection in his dark eyes, I saw the privileged rich kid who had taken away his mother and broken a family apart.

  Instinct caused me to twist and turn and avoid the searing pain jolting through my body as he beat me. I scolded myself for trying to avoid the just punishment from the boy who felt I’d betrayed his family, so I held still, letting Juan do his worst.

  In between his feral growls, I heard Mandi’s cries for him to stop hurting me. And in that brief moment, as Juan’s fist connected with my jaw, my heart smiled.

  She still loves me.

  “Stop hitting him!” She grabbed Juan’s arm.

  “Fuck off, traitor!” He pushed her back.

  In that instant, I shoved Juan off me and scrambled to my feet. Juan could come after me all he wanted, but brother or not, no one was going to hurt Mandi.

  “Keep her out of this, Juan. It’s me you should be mad at. If you’ll let me explain what happened—”

  “Fuck you!” Placing his hands on my chest, he shoved me back. “Stay away from her and my family. You hear me?”

  “I love her, and I won’t stay away. Just let me explain.”

  “I’m not my sister. I ain’t buying your shit excuses. I know it was you.”

  “Yes, it was my fault. I—”

  He roared and lunged toward me, his momentum propelling us backward. My back slammed against a tree.

  “Stop it!” Mandi latched onto his shirt collar, trying to pull him off me.

  His blows were nothing compared to the agony I felt at the sound of her sobs. I had to leave. I was hurting Mandi, and that was the last thing I’d wanted to do.

  Immediately, I jutted my arm out to push him away. Instead of fists slamming against Juan’s chest, they hit air, and Juan was suddenly on the ground.

  “This is not the time or place, Juan.” Julian’s face was fierce as he stood over him.

  My stomach clenched as I watched Juan place his hand into Julian’s, mumbling an apology as he stood. No matter how hard I tried, I could never be the brother to Juan that I wanted to be. I had tried everything I could think of to befriend him, going back to when we had lived in Koppe. Everything I did just seemed to make it worse. I’d thought Juan was going through his teen rebellious phase, hating everyone and everything. That is, until Julian came into the picture, earning the trust of the one person I’d tried so hard to impress without even trying. Somehow, Julian had managed to weasel his way so far into the Ruiz’s lives that they turned to him for help in the worst kind of crisis.

  Glaring at me, Juan nodded at Julian’s whispered words. I hated that whatever Julian was telling him seemed to be working and that Julian could have that kind of effect on him. Juan still looked like he could kill me with his bare hands at any moment, but he stayed away.

  “You’re bleeding,” Mandi murmured.

  My eyes flicked to Mandi, and I sucked in a breath as caring eyes gazed at my lips. It was then that I felt warm liquid slide down the side of my chin and a salty taste in my mouth.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off her. It’d only been a few hours since I’d seen her, since I’d thought I’d lost her forever. It felt like a lifetime had passed.

  I swallowed thickly as delicate fingers brushed against the corner of my mouth, wiping away the trickle of blood. Caressing my bruised cheek, her face filled with a longing so strong I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that Juan and Julian would have to kill me to keep me away from her.

  “Thank you,” my voice cracked.

  “Are you okay?”

  I studied her beautiful face, pondering the double meaning of her question. Glancing at Julian and Juan, I knew she was telling me that the only reason Julian was there was for her brother.

  “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “Go take care of your brother and sister,” Julian’s voice boomed with authority. “I’ll take care of this.”

  I cringed at the obvious ownership he was taking, as if he was the head of the family and I was the outsider.

  “Traitor,” Juan spat at Mandi before he went back inside the house.

  “Shut up, Juan!” She marched after him, yelling out a slew of Spanish curses.

  “Nic, you shouldn’t be here. The family’s going through a rough time,” Julian said.

  Mandi spun around. Before she could say a word, I
snapped back, “You’re here.”

  “I’m helping them.”

  “That’s why I’m here. I want to explain what happened and help.”

  “You’re presence is only making things worse.” His dark eyes flicked to Mandi so quickly, I almost missed it. That asshole wanted me out of the picture! He actually thought Mandi would fall for his hero-riding-in-on-a-white-horse-to-save-the-day bullshit!

  Mandi’s nostrils flared.

  He obviously didn’t know her like I did. If he liked that tattoo on his arm, he’d better leave now. She looked like she was going to rip that thing right off him.

  “Go with Juan, Julian.” Her voice was eerily soft. “I want to hear what Nic has to say...in private.”

  “That’s not a good idea, Mandi. Go in the house with Juan. Nic, if you care for her like you say you do, you’ll leave. Now.”

  My hands curled into fists. I’d had enough of Julian’s shit. “You don’t tell her what to do. It’s not for you to decide who she does or doesn’t talk to.”

  “It is for me to decide. She’s distraught. The entire family is.”

  “I can think for myself, Julian,” Mandi growled.

  “I know you can.” His voice softened as if he were calming a child. “It’s just that my brother doesn’t want us talking to people outside the family. Remember, he’s fought cases like this before and won. It’s for your mother’s safety.”

  She opened her mouth as if to say something. Then, appearing frustrated, she bit down on her lip. Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked from me to Julian, confused. My chest ached at the thought that she might see me as a threat to her family. Even worse, Julian’s brother was probably one of the few people who could help her mother. I could see the struggle in her eyes. My help or Julian’s? I couldn’t stand to see the heartache she was going through. I swallowed my pride and made the decision for her.

  “Forget it. What I have to say to Mandi isn’t a secret from anyone, especially you.” I threw Julian a glare before turning back to Mandi. “I love you, Mandi. I’ll never stop loving you, and I would never intentionally hurt your family.”

  “What do you mean ‘intentionally’?” Her voice was a disbelieving whisper.

  I took a deep breath, bracing myself for her reaction. Hoping that the love in her eyes would still be there after I gave my answer.

  “My mother reported your mother.”

  Her face paled. She looked at me as if I were a stranger. It was the worst moment of my life. I might as well have said that I had made the call.

  Next to her, Julian nodded as if he had suspected it all along.

  “I didn’t know about it until last night,” I added quickly. “I don’t know exactly how she did it. I overheard her on the phone talking to Sheriff Baker. I think she bribed him. Something to do with his re-election campaign.”

  She opened and closed her mouth as if trying to say something. Nothing would come out. Instead, tears streamed down her face.

  Heaven help me, the agony in her eyes was excruciating. “I’m so sorry, Mandi. I don’t know how she found out. I swear, I didn’t say a word to her.”

  She shook her head. “I...I...I’m sorry, Nic. I can’t do this. I can’t.” She turned, running toward the house. Her heart wrenching sobs tore into me.

  “Mandi!” At the sound of my voice, she paused at the bottom of the porch steps. Just as I reached out to comfort her, Julian’s hand clamped down on my arm.

  “Don’t touch her,” he seethed.

  I gazed into the enraged eyes of the person I had once thought of as a friend. The man had taught me the very love songs I played for Mandi whenever we took a break from studying. We had laughed together over his cousin’s crazy antics, which he’d shared with me whole-heartedly. Once, he had even told me how lucky I was that I had a sister and didn’t have to live in an older brother’s shadow, like he did. I had thought he was my friend. But all along, he had wanted Mandi. And even after she had abandoned their dance performance last spring and made it perfectly clear to him that she wanted me, he still wanted her. It was as if he had been biding his time, waiting for his opportunity to pounce. He had expected me to fuck up, and when I did, he had planned to swoop in and take my place beside her.

  “Get your hand off me,” I growled, jerking my arm out of his grasp.

  “Take a hint, Marcelli. You’re not welcome here.” Shoving me aside, he placed an arm around Mandi’s shoulders and softly crooned, “Let’s go inside.”

  “Get the fuck away from her!” I lunged at him. His fists beat against my shoulders, fighting against my death grip as we fell. His back slammed against the front pathway. Cursing, he shoved upward, his massive biceps lifting me off of him. In one swift move, he positioned himself over me. His fists hammered my stomach.

  Hunching over, I tried to protect my already sore ribs while at the same time throwing him everything I had. My fists barely grazed his shoulders as he moved swiftly left to right like a boxer.

  In between his curses, I heard Mandi screaming in the background. I couldn’t let her see me like this. Julian was not going to take me down.

  With a roar, I pressed my palms against his chest. I could feel the veins in my neck and arms pop up as I heaved Julian’s massive body off me.

  A flicker of surprise passed over his face before my fist smashed into his chin. Immediately, he covered his head with his arms. One after another, my fists flew, beating into that stupid tattoo of his. Frustrated, I slammed a fist into his ribs, then another and another. Months of pent up rage slammed into that asshole’s body. He stole my trust. He stole the Ruizes. He was trying to steal my Mandi.

  Sweat poured down my face, stinging my eyes until I couldn’t see, causing me to miss Julian’s left fist before it connected to my side. Instinctually, my hand flew to my side for protection. Grabbing hold of my shirt collar, Julian jumped up pulling me with him. He drew back his fist, his eyes filled with fury. I shoved him hard, the momentum causing us both to stumble.

  Panting, I glared at him as he crouched, ready to take me on again. Hate radiated from every single inch of my body.

  “Come on, fucker!” My hands motioned for him to come and get me.

  “No problem. I’ve been fighting rich white boys like you my whole life.” He spat red onto the ground. “You have no idea what kind of ass-kicking you’re in for.”

  “Stop it! Both of you!”

  I froze at the sound of Mr. Ruiz’s angry voice. Through blurred vision, I could just see him standing by the door of his minivan. I should’ve felt guilty, but the relief on Julian’s bruised face and the sound of his subtle groaning as he rubbed his ribs was hard for me to miss. I couldn’t help but be proud knowing that I could have and would have put him down.

  “Dad!” Mandi rushed into his arms, crying.

  “What’s going on here?” Holding Mandi close, Mr. Ruiz eyed us hard. Julian and I answered in unison.

  “I came to explain about yesterday. I wanted to help—”

  “He was fighting with Juan, Mr. Ruiz. I stopped him and—”

  “Silencio! Mandi, why is Nic here?”

  My stomach fell when Mr. Ruiz singled me out. And if I thought I could get away with it, I would’ve finished what I’d started and beat the shit out of Julian’s smug face.

  Red-rimmed eyes looked to me before she spoke. Every single word twisted like a knife in my heart because it was true. It was a truth that could keep me from Mandi and her family, no matter how hard I tried to win her back. “He came to tell me that his mother was the one who told the authorities about Mom.”

  Mr. Ruiz’s face was a mask when he looked over at me. I’ve always known him to be a fair and just man. After all, this was the same man who had welcomed me into his family like a son. Would he remember those words he had spoken to me so long ago, when I’d professed my love to Mandi in front of him and his wife?

  He studied me for a moment, and then let out a slow breath. “Nic, the family is having a diff
icult time right now. It may be best for you to go home.”

  My heart stopped, and I tried to remember to breathe. I couldn’t move. I looked to Mandi, her head was buried in her father’s chest.

  Please, Mandi. Please look at me.

  “Mr. Ruiz, I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to happen. I’d never do anything to hurt your family.”

  “I know that. But right now, I have a lot to deal with. We’ll talk soon. I promise.”

  I held onto his words like a life raft as I walked slowly to my car. He wasn’t completely kicking me out. But even so, Mandi kept her eyes downcast as I passed her.

  “Julian, your brother wants you go to his office,” he said. “He needs you to help with Flor’s case. I have some paperwork inside that you should take to him.”

  Bile filled my throat knowing that it was Julian who was by Mr. Ruiz’s side, fighting to get his wife, Flor, back home. Not me. I was a reminder of how a loving family had been torn apart.

  Following Mr. Ruiz into the house, Julian smirked then whispered something to Mandi. The last thing I saw as I drove off was the soft smile on her face when she looked up at Julian.

  FOUR: Mandi

  I stared out the screen door at the spot where Nic had parked his car, wishing that it would somehow magically reappear, wishing that somehow I could go back in time and say the things that I’d wanted to say, to tell Juan to fuck off and demand that Julian leave. I wanted Nic. I needed him.

  I’d always felt helpless around Julian, but Nic, Nic understood me. He never shutdown any of my opinions, even if they differed from his. And he always listened to my dreams. It never bothered him that I made better grades than he did or that math came easier to me than him. He’d just sit back and smile, his eyes filled with pride. He was the wind that lifted me, letting me soar through the sky.

  And Julian? I couldn’t turn him away. How could I? If it weren’t for his brother, Mom would’ve ended up at a detention center hundreds of miles away instead of in San Antonio. When Julian had whispered to me that his brother wouldn’t let him go near the case if he’d thought it was a lost cause, I knew it was a good sign. I owed him and his brother everything.