Merciful Vows: A Bittersweet Second Chance Romantic Suspense (The Giannotti World Book 1)

by Vanessa Luisa

  “Just a man who works with Kayla and I.”

  He nods and glances back down at his work. I frown but summon the courage to fake the optimism when his gaze returns to me. “Hey, can you help me with something art related? My teacher is challenging us with trivia, but I can’t remember the last design principle of art.”

  “Of course, go on.”

  “Well, I have balance, contrast, emphasis, and repetition…what’s missing?”

  “That would be unity, buddy.”

  Unity.

  Weston jots it down and smiles over. “The perks of knowing a pro art teacher.”

  Oscar glances over at me just as I turn to him. I wink, handing him a marshmallow that came with my hot chocolate. He nudges Weston’s arm and I give my godson the other. It’s quick and all accomplished behind Helena’s back. Aka the sugar freak! They both grin and turn back to their papers, chewing away at the soft pink clouds.

  Kayla and I distract ourselves by helping Weston out with his homework. It doesn’t last long and I feel so bad for it, but I don’t catch patches of what he’s saying because all I can think about is Bryce and the way he made me feel that night. How violated I felt and what seeing him tonight makes me remember.

  The tension within the room is so tense. I should have acted differently. I should have spoken to him and told him exactly how I’m feeling.

  “Has Helena always been like this?” Kayla asks.

  “Always. When I began dating Giulio she was adamant to know everything. She sat him down in a full on interrogation, and mind you, he’s two years older than her. They’ve been so close ever since but you know her, needing to make sure he had the best intentions.”

  “Aw, I can absolutely see her doing that! I’m sorry, honey, but…” She nods towards the door and in comes take-two. “…They’re here again.”

  Marcus is dragging Bryce by his tattooed bicep even though McCarson is a tall, broad guy who quite frankly could pick up my brother-in-law by his pinkie.

  “We don’t run away from our problems. We face them,” Marcus grits and shoves McCarson in Helena’s seat beside me. Slonne scoots away from him, closer to her cousin.

  I don’t blame you, girl.

  “I’m not a dog,” Bryce threatens and flips him off. His elbow brushes against mine in the process, prompting him to glance over at me. “Right?”

  “Then stop acting like one,” Marcus spits.

  “I’m not acting like one!”

  “You’re right. You’re not acting like one because you are one. Now shut up and do what you came to do. Speak to her!”

  “Marcus, I can’t exactly shut up and speak at the same time.”

  “For the love of god, someone remind me how to breathe.”

  “Absolutely, positively, one hundred percent no.” Helena returns in a huff. Her jaw drops not only at Bryce’s presence but at the fact that he has stolen her seat. “Are you serious? You’re like a cockroach; you think you’ve killed it but then they spring back to life. Go! Vamoose!”

  “I have to tell ya sister something.”

  “Go ahead. Anything you can tell her, you can tell me.” Helena crosses her arms and raises a confident brow. “Come on. Show me what you’ve got, McCarson.”

  Bryce’s nose flares and I jump in to defuse the growing flames. My smile is flat as I come in the middle of them with a solution. “It’s okay, Helena. We’ll talk alone outside. Just watch the kids for me.”

  McCarson and I make our way out.

  The icy air blows through my curled hair and down the back of my leather jacket. The city streets are lively as always. Cars zoom by and a group of people walk past us, cheering and laughing.

  Bryce doesn’t seem to notice them.

  He doesn’t seem like the type of man that takes in the little things. The details. Instead, he pulls out a cigarette and lights it while his eyes remain on a woman in a belted trench coat. She stands at the edge of the sidewalk and glances side to side with a glowing phone in hand, evidently waiting on a ride home.

  Bryce stares at the back of her head, and it takes everything in me not to speak up. It all seems to happen for me when a Porsche pulls up to the curb and all of a sudden she’s beaming. The car reminds me of Giulio’s, the only difference being this one’s red.

  A man steps out of the driver’s seat and greets the woman with a long passionate kiss. Bryce shakes his head and turns to me while taking a long drag of his cigarette. His cockney accent comes next. “The Porsche drivers always get the women, right?”

  I don’t respond.

  “So ya sister’s something else…isn’t she?”

  “She worries about me.”

  “Hmmm.” Bryce pulls out a second cigarette and waves it around. “It’s yours if ya want it.”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Of course.” He mumbles under his breath. Taking another drag, the glint of the death stick illuminates his arcane eyes. “You’re too good for it. A mother and all, aye?”

  My rapidly beating heart comes second against his larger than life ego. I’ve had it with him and snatch the second cigarette, lighting it with the tip of his. Inhaling, I draw it to my trembling lips and take two long puffs.

  It doesn’t last long.

  You went way too bold, Valencia.

  I cough through the clouds, the nicotine essence enough to turn me off. “Satisfied?”

  Bryce has no words. A part of me wants to say I’m proud of his shocked, parted lips. I did that. I guess he wasn’t expecting that ballsy move out of me.

  Sometimes going bold adds up!

  The cigarette crushes underneath my pivoting ballerina flat and I shove my hands in my Levi’s for warmth. “So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?”

  Bryce rubs his short beard, erasing the disbelief. “I want to apologize about the other night. I went too far, right. You were drunk and vulnerable and I was feeling the same…Looking back I see I took advantage of that. I should have stopped when ya were telling me to.”

  I nod. “Is that all?”

  “Yeah…”

  “Okay. I’m going back in.”

  “Wait, I just worked up the courage to apologize to ya. The least ya can do is…I don’t know, give me some feedback or something.”

  “Bryce, you’re trying to bullshit me.”

  “No.” His accent softens and he shakes his head. The furrowing of his brows and forehead causes a creased line in the middle of his eyebrows. “That’s not it at all. I want to apologize for all the pain I caused. You and Giulio are both suffering an incredible loss and I should have been more considerate.”

  “Okay, but what happens three days from now? Huh? What happens in two weeks when you pull the same act? How do I know that you’re not going to try something like this again?”

  “I’m very capable of treating a woman right. Don’t get it twisted,” Bryce grits, tossing the death stick away to enter my personal space. He lowers his head to meet mine and all of a sudden I’m staring into pained eyes. “Just because ya had a bad introduction with me doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of some type of forgiveness or a small smile.”

  “Listen, I take full responsibly for the drinking aspect. I should have limited myself and I don’t know why I didn’t. But that night last week after Giulio took me to his house, it brought back a lot of heartache for me, the same heartache I’m attempting to suppress to help myself. I thought I could trust you. I wanted to help you with the designs so when you began…when you did that, it brought back the feelings I attempt to get rid of every day. The violation. The feeling of not owning my thoughts and feelings.”

  Bryce takes a step back before looking away.

  He has nothing for me.

  I can finally breathe without inhaling a gulp of his cologne. The truth was eating me alive and so it feels exhilarating to have finally opened up.

  I take one last look at Bryce McCarson, at his dark brown hair and that golden complexion. He’s only wearing jeans and a t-shir
t and I question his warmth inside my head. That’s the mother in me. Put a jacket on, you’ll get a cold.

  I reach for the door handle, only for the Englishman’s voice to vibrate every single plunged piece of my soul I left behind here on this Seattle sidewalk.

  “I grew up with only my mother. She raised me into the man I am today. She did the best she could as a single mother. Working three jobs and constantly long hours to help others, now she can’t even help herself. I’m not proud of some of the things I do, but I always admit when I’m wrong and I just did that. I’m not that type of man and yes the alcohol fucked with me, but I still know what I did was wrong. I’m sorry. I really am sorry I did that to you. No woman deserves that and I feel terrible I hurt you. But don’t ya act like you’ve never done something you’ve regretted doing in your life.”

  “I have.”

  “So let’s hear it. Come on, we’ll go for a short walk and maybe you’ll start to realize that you and I are not that different.”

  It starts, the gripping at my chest that pleads to be freed from everything he is offering. I have to trust him on this. And so we stroll against the soft whistling of the wind.

  I know Bryce is waiting on my response. “The last time I saw Addilyn. That’s my regret. Giulio was in London for work and I had invited my parents, Helena, and Marcus over for dinner. I set Addilyn down in her bassinet and was in the living room when Addilyn began crying. At times, it settled down. The baby monitor wasn’t on and so when she quieted down, I didn’t check on her until after we walked outside to say goodbye to Helena. My parents, Marcus, and I…we couldn’t believe it. She was gone. Cameras show somebody broke the window in the split moments we were outside and just as we came in a masked figure jumped the side fence with my daughter into a waiting car. We didn’t hear anything. If I had checked on her earlier, I could have stopped the abduction. It kills me because I was right there. Addilyn would be with me right now. I regret not checking on her. It keeps me awake and haunts me in my dreams.”

  Bryce is silent for a moment. “I cannot imagine what you went through, or should I say are still going through. But I do know that you cannot pin the blame on yourself. What happened was a freak accident. Something unprecedented.”

  “And yet blame myself is all I do. It’s my fault.” My heart clenches and I deflate. “It is and that’s what hurts the most. The outcome could have been so different…”

  “You don’t know how it would have gone, Valencia. Even if it didn’t happen, even if ya prevented it, it doesn’t mean that something else wouldn’t have happened to Addilyn down the path. Perhaps it’s fate, right? Perhaps it’s what’s in God’s plans. Perhaps what happened protected her from something worse. At least this way you can still have hope, that’s something, right? Sometimes, as I said, it’s God’s plan and ya just have to trust it’ll all be okay.”

  Bryce’s encouraging words are something I didn’t expect. In the office, he’s always sarcastic with snide remarks. Ever since last Tuesday night, I thought that was all this man could be. But right now, walking by him and listening to him, I notice there’s truth to his words. Perhaps I’ve overlooked him. Perhaps he does deserve a second chance, just like my marriage.

  “All my life I’ve had to trust that it’ll all be alright,” Bryce admits. “I get angry and snap when I shouldn’t. My father abandoned me before I was even born. My mother came to the States and met this man. It was a holiday fling that resulted in me. When they found out, he bailed and my mother had to return back to London for work. That made me feel…I don’t know. He didn’t give two shits and I’ve never met or seen him. I’ve never wanted to.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear. Do you know where he is?”

  “Don’t apologize for a fucking selfish man. I know where he is now, but I’ll never meet him. It works me up. It ruins me and so I coax myself to drink and smoke. To forget it all. That night with you I wanted to forget myself. I know it’s not a good enough excuse for what I did, but it’s all I have. I don’t have a lot of people around me here. Marcus, my mother, and a few friends back home are really all I have who care about me, so having you that night meant something.”

  I find myself nodding at his words. I realize I didn’t know a single thing about Bryce up until now. Nothing at all. No matter the situation, his father should have been there. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know any of that.”

  Bryce chews on his lip and we make a left turn by the Seattle Waterfront Park on Pier 57 and cross the road into the park, walking by others who are out enjoying their Wednesday night. The glowing Seattle Great Wheel and moon etches an optical glow of silvery red across the waters. It’s there where we stop by the walkway and I’m mesmerized by the night sky and how darkly it glows.

  Bryce keeps his eyes on the water and rubs his hands together. “When I was younger, my mother often couldn’t afford meals for the both of us. She didn’t work the best jobs, but they were the only ones she could get. As I grew older and college was on the horizon she became desperate for money. I was working too but it wasn’t enough. Without my notice she got involved in a scam and lured millions from people. It was more than we needed, but I don’t think she could stop. Until one day…yeah…the world made it stop for her.”

  I feel for him. I really do.

  I swallow hard, my hand finding its way to his shoulder to give it a slight squeeze. He’s freezing just as I expected. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Bryce.”

  “No,” he turns to me and his eyes wash over my face. “She didn’t die. I worded it wrong.”

  My hand slips. “What happened then? Is your mother here?”

  “No. She’s back in London, but she can’t work. She has a condition. A mental condition. It had her avoid jail, but she needs to pay back every single pound plus interest. So I had to move away from all the negative and find myself again. All my paychecks go directly to her. I need to help my mother now, just like she helped me even when she didn’t even want me. I need to help her…I do…especially now that everybody is against her in our town.”

  “That’s a very generous thing, to do Bryce.”

  “People wouldn’t associate that word with me.”

  “Maybe they don’t know this story.”

  “Ya think you’re special, aye?” McCarson holds my gaze for a split moment and a ghost of a smirk works its way on his lips. The same one that has been absent all night, rendering him almost unrecognizable. There is barely any of the sarcasm that Bryce McCarson is known for. It’s just his soft voice and growing honesty.

  I like this side of him.

  I take Bryce’s smirk and carve out my own smile. “No. Not special.”

  “I was kidding. Don’t knock yourself down, you’re an incredible woman. You really are. A pure rare sight that can have angels sing down at you.”

  “Now you’re exaggerating!”

  Bryce’s hand hesitantly reaches under my chin and raises it higher to meet his gaze. He’s serious now. “No, I truly do mean it. All the single parents out there are incredible. Although you and Giulio may be working things out, I know from experience that you’re both strong enough to carry the weight of a broken spirit. It’s not easy and it doesn’t get better. I’m an asshole, but I notice that much.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  I cast a glance to the water one last time and we pick up our pace back to Zeluci’s.

  “Were you born here, Valencia?”

  “Yes. Born and raised. What part of England are you from?”

  “Hoxton. It’s by the East side. Are your parents both American?”

  I shake my head and pull my long waves to one side. “My mother is, she’s been a Seattleite from day one. My father’s from Vienna, Austria. He has a twin brother there who he’s currently visiting for a little while. My mother would have joined him, but their greeting card business demands one of them to stay here.”

  “That’s cool. And Giulio? Well, I know his father’s Italian because of the last name.
”

  “Yeah, both of his parents are Italian. His father was from Sicily and his mother from Genova in the north. His parents both moved to New Jersey young and they met there. They returned to Italy for a few holidays with family. It was actually during one of those holidays in Genova where Giulio was born prematurely. They stayed there for a while before returning.”

  “So, he was born in Italy?”

  “He sure was. Why did you move to Seattle?”

  “Well, some of us are born in Seattle, others have this desire to escape it all and move here. I did what was best for me. I was a bartender back in London but had a degree in interior design. Seattle was my calling. Much more opportunities and all that. So I said fuck it, I’m thirty and never have been to America before, let’s do it. I befriended Marcus at a bar one night and he helped me get my job. I actually bartend at that bar some nights a week for some extra cash. I can’t lose my job at Notti Designs because of my mother, but I keep on fucking up.”

  “Giulio just looks for honesty and loyalty. Give him that and everything will be fine…I’ve never seen this side of you. I didn’t know any of that before.”

  Bryce meets my gaze. “You’ve never asked.”

  Fair point.

  “I’m sure your mother is grateful for what you are doing for her. At the end of the day, all we have is our family.”

  “Yeah, family and a couple of friends.” He throws his head back in laugher with his hand on his chest when my brows raise dramatically. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t referring to you. Not just yet. Do you forgive me?”

  For some reason it makes me smile. I nod as we reach the restaurant and stop by the door.

  “No, not about that. I mean do you forgive me about what happened earlier last week?”

  Some people deserve a second chance.

  “I forgive you. I don’t want any unneeded animosity between us at the company.”

  “Thank you.” He sighs in relief and reaches for the door with a glint of happiness. “I’ll never let you down again, Valencia. You have my word and I never back down on my word.”

  “Maybe this will be a good thing.”