The Godswar Saga (Omnibus)

by Jennifer Vale

  The chagari glanced down at his own half-empty mug. He had already polished off three others. “Your people are good at one thing, I’ll give them that. Still…it could be sweeter.”

  She grunted and rolled her eyes. The three of them sat in a boisterous tavern a few blocks from their house. At first she’d been wary of openly walking about the city, but as Tam had pointed out, no one here gave a damn about the three of them. Jason was the one with the pseudo-god inside him, and Elade was the wanted fugitive. Everyone else was basically invisible. Even Gor didn’t stick out that much—chagari were as welcome as anyone else in Solaria, so long as they kept their claws sheathed and their fangs hidden. She had actually spotted a few of them walking down the street earlier in the day.

  “Now that you mention it,” Tam commented, “I think you owe me for about six steins the last time we visited that tavern north of Isen.”

  Sarina frowned and searched her memory. “The Crescent Gate?”

  “That’s the one. You ended up drinking three guards under the table, and then you started a fight with the owner’s daughter.”

  “She kept touching Jason. I eventually got sick of it.”

  He snorted. “See that’s when most normal people would say something. You just grabbed her arm and punched her.”

  “I was drunk,” Sarina said with a shrug. “Besides, she was training to be a shield-maiden. She could take it.”

  “The point is that you still owe me for those drinks, and for the nice meal I was forced to abandon when the owner chased us out,” Tam said.

  “That was over two years ago.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “You were just complaining about not being able to spend your money,” she told him. “So why don’t you just shut up and buy me another stein?”

  “Fine,” he muttered with an exaggerated sigh. “But only because I’m afraid of you.”

  Sarina chuckled and smacked him on the arm as he signaled for the barkeep to bring them another round. “When were the two of you going to try and convince Jason to sell the rest of the drek we’re hauling around, anyway?”

  “Since Krystia fixed him up, I think he might head out to the market today, actually,” Tam said. “You two really need to get this over with, by the way.”

  She frowned. “Get what over with?”

  “This little tiff you have going. You almost never talk to each other anymore.”

  The old pangs of guilt returned, and she gulped down the rest of her mead to try and settle her stomach. “There’s nothing to say.”

  Tam sighed. “Can’t you just hit him a few times and then go and get a room or something? That’s how the two of you used to work out your problems.”

  “She’s probably afraid he can fight back now,” Gor interjected with a grunt.

  Sarina scowled. “So it really doesn’t bother the two of you that he has a goddess living inside him now?”

  “Malacross isn’t really a goddess,” Tam pointed out. “She’s—”

  “Whatever you want to call it,” she snapped. “The point is that he’s been different ever since he woke up in Lyebel. I knew that cube would change him the moment Elade said he’d used it…”

  “Of course it changed him—it would change anyone.” He shrugged. “But he seems mostly fine now.”

  “’Healing,’” Sarina said with a snort. “She was basically mind-fucking him.”

  “Yeah,” Tam said wistfully. “Jace definitely seemed to enjoy it. I wonder if there’s anything she can teach me….”

  “You’re pathetic.”

  “Did you see her? She was gorgeous!”

  “She’s a bloody toothpick.”

  “Not every man wants to be with someone that can beat the hell out of him, you know.”

  Sarina glared at him sharply. “So you’re a coward.”

  “Hey—”

  “If the two of you don’t shut up,” Gor hissed, “I will kill you both.”

  He glared at them for a few more seconds before unsheathing a claw and spearing a hunk of meat on his plate. Tam, for his part, simply chuckled under his breath and returned to his potatoes.

  “He’s becoming more like them every day,” Sarina said quietly after a moment. “Like other channelers, I mean.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Tam asked.

  “Magic changes people, especially telepathy. I saw it happen to my cousin, Doyd, when he Ascended and claimed the Asgardian throne. I saw it with plenty of others in my family, too. They get these powers, and it completely changes them.”

  “Of course it does,” Gor said matter-of-factly. “Power changes men. It always has and it always will.”

  “And not for the better,” Sarina agreed. “You saw the way Krystia looked at him. We were invisible to her—everyone who wasn’t a channeler. She doesn’t think we can ever understand her, and it makes her better than us.”

  Tam wiped his mouth and leaned back in his chair. “I think you’re reading way too much into this. And in all the years I’ve known you, I don’t think you’ve ever cared what an outsider thought about you. Why does this bother you so much?”

  “Jealousy,” Gor said. “She can’t compete as a mate against the other, more powerful females.”

  If Sarina had been a channeler, her glare would have cooked the fur from his flesh. “I am not jealous of a toothpick.”

  “Lie to yourself if you want; humans are quite good at it,” the chagari replied calmly. “But you shouldn’t be ashamed. There’s nothing wrong with fighting over your mate…even if he is weak and a touch pathetic. I’m certain you could do better.”

  “He’s not my ‘mate,’” Sarina growled. “This isn’t about Jason and I—it’s about all of us. We’re a team. We work together. We complement each other.”

  Tam frowned. “I’ve heard a lot more insults than compliments lately.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “My point exactly.”

  Sarina started to stand, but Tam grabbed her hand with surprising force and urged her to sit back down. “Listen, I understand what you’re worried about,” he said. “Telepathy freaks people out. I know that.” He paused for a moment and his expression sobered. “When I was about ten, the priest in our little town used to mess around in people’s minds all the time. He’d say it was for our protection, but he was just hoarding secrets to use against people. He was eventually replaced and stripped of his powers, but the damage was done. He extorted people in that town for years and made a killing off it.”

  She felt her muscles relax, and she studied him carefully. As always, she couldn’t help but marvel at how easily he seemed to cast aside his dim-witted mantle whenever he needed to. She couldn’t understand why he wasn’t like this all the time.

  “I thought the whole point of the Bound was that abuses of power like that couldn’t happen,” Sarina said after a moment.

  “Yeah, well, they do sometimes,” Tam said. “In theory, the king should know his powers were being misused and take action, but sometimes even Bound slip through the cracks. I doubt people in that town trust their priest even now.” He downed another gulp. “It taught me how to protect myself.”

  “Human culture is built on lies,” Gor said. “Just look around this room. The barkeep lies about his suppliers so people will pay more for cheap beer. The dancer lies about mating with these men so they will give her bigger tips. That man in the corner lies about his wife’s withering appearance to save his relationship. Almost everything you do is built on one deception or another.”

  Tam grunted. “You’re a big, huggable bundle of joy, you know that?”

  “It’s the truth. You fear telepaths because they can shine the light of truth on the lies you tell yourselves and everyone around you.”

  “He’s right,” Sarina admitted. “People can’t function without everyday lies.”

  “Most can’t,” Gor corrected, swiveling his orange eyes over to her. “What I find curious is why this bothers
you so much. Of all the humans I’ve met, you should be the least concerned about standing before a telepath.”

  She frowned. “Why?”

  “You say what you think and don’t apologize for it. You dress and behave practically. You suffer for it socially because you are honest.” His eyes glimmered as he looked at his glass. “You’re not bothered by the transparency. You’re bothered because Jason’s power makes you feel weak.”

  Sarina started to protest but stopped herself. He was right, of course, even if it was uncomfortable to admit it. “We’re supposed to be a team,” she said. “But not all of us can heal wounds with a touch or shoot fire from our fingertips. And if Jason’s power grows…”

  Tam smiled. “I know how you feel, but I think you’re exaggerating. I mean let’s face it, I know you could beat me to death with one hand, and you’re a woman. Shouldn’t I be the one feeling weak?”

  “Yes,” Gor said.

  They both tossed him an annoyed glare, but after a moment she smiled thinly. “Maybe we just need to give him a chance.”

  “If you want to worry about someone changing, I’d be more worried about Sel,” Tam said gravely. “I’m not sure how she’s holding up.”

  Gor set down his glass. “Not well. She’s barely eaten since Lyebel, and now she refuses to leave the house.”

  “I wish Krystia could have healed her too,” Tam said.

  Sarina nodded and finished her stein. “We all do.”

  ***

  “That’s almost double what I expected these to fetch in Lyebel,” Jason commented as he set down the chest full of gold bricks. It had taken most of the day, but he had managed to unload every last relic they had.

  “The better question is how much you cheated,” Selvhara replied as she sat down on the couch. “Please tell me you weren’t using your telepathy on the hapless merchants.”

  Jason grinned sheepishly. He felt like a new man…and by any objective standard, he was. Now that he could finally control his mental abilities, he could appreciate how truly awesome they were. There was a great deal more to learn, of course, but right now he felt amazing. Krystia had taught him so much in their merging; sensing the thoughts and emotions of others was just the beginning. He could manipulate energy well enough to light a candle or create a small electrical current between his fingertips, and he had even been able to heal a small scrape on his arm earlier. They were parlor tricks compared to what more experienced channelers could accomplish, but to him they were all minor miracles.

  “I didn’t push very hard,” he told her after a moment, “but it did make it easier to haggle knowing their limits and expectations.”

  “If any of the priests caught you channeling, they would throw you in prison on the spot,” Selvhara said pointedly. “Or they’d bury you in that Unbound Asylum Krystia was talking about earlier.”

  “But I wasn’t channeling—that’s the amazing thing,” Jason told her. “There’s no way they could detect my powers.”

  “Are you certain?”

  “I don’t need the Aether, not with an Immortal living inside me. There’s nothing for them to sense.”

  “Until you start hurling something around with your mind because you’ve grown arrogant,” she admonished. “You really don’t understand the depths of these people’s paranoia, Jason. You need to be careful.”

  He sighed and wished Tam was here. “Excuse me for feeling good for a change. You have no idea what this is like.”

  Jason regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. Selvhara turned away immediately, and he closed his eyes and silently scolded himself. She was far too collected to cry, but he could still feel the waves of pain cascading off of her. He could have stabbed her in the chest and it probably wouldn’t have hurt as much.

  “I’m sorry, that was stupid,” he whispered.

  “It’s all right,” she assured him. “I just wish…” I just wish I could share it with you. I wish I could guide you, give you my experience. This is an amazing, wonderful thing that’s happened to you, and all I can think about is what I’ve lost. It’s selfish. Pathetic. I’m pathetic.

  He walked over to the couch and sat down next to her. He tried to hold onto her but she pushed him away.

  “I’m fine,” she said, smiling tightly. “I wonder where the others went?”

  Jason wanted to console her, but even with all his wondrous new abilities he felt entirely helpless here. He thought back to the war all those years ago, and how he had watched his mother die, half-crushed in a pile of rubble. He still dreamt of that day from time to time, and right now it was like he was watching it all over again. Sel had taken his mother’s place from that day forward, and now he felt like he was watching her die too. Day by day she continued to wither away in a world she barely recognized…

  “They probably just got bored,” he said. “When Elade gets back, I was going to ask her if she could try to teach me how to sense demons. Maybe I could help speed things up.”

  Selvhara nodded idly. The thought of seeing Ethan again terrifies me. How will he react? How much has he changed in all these years? “I hope you can get through to him. Maybe you can convince him to turn away from whatever he’s planning.”

  “I’d like to think so, but we both know dad has never been easily persuaded about anything.”

  He was once, but only with me. There was a time I could have told him anything and he would have done it. Then your mother died and guilt consumed him. “I don’t know what’s going on inside his head right now, honestly,” she said instead. “He let you think he was dead for two years and would have probably kept it up indefinitely if we hadn’t learned the truth. Hopefully he won’t even see us coming, and then perhaps we can shock him into letting all of this go.”

  Jason frowned at her. “What did dad feel guilty about? Putting mom in danger?”

  “Don’t,” she warned, leveling a firm glare at him. “I never gave you permission.”

  “It’s hard to tune out when you’re screaming it so loudly.”

  “Don’t turn it around and blame me,” she said sharply. “Your father was a powerful telepath, and he learned to control himself well enough.”

  Her sudden surge of anger caught him by surprise, but he could feel it was really just feeding off her own guilt. There was something she didn’t want him to know, something just beyond his reach at the edge of her thoughts…

  “I told you no!” she insisted, scooting away from him. You don’t want to know about us. Your mother loved you so much, and Ethan did too, in his own way. He just couldn’t bring himself to love her.

  “What do you mean he didn’t love her?” Jason asked. Even when the thoughts themselves weren’t coherent in her head, he could see images as they flashed through her memory. She was spending more time with him than his own wife. She understood him in a way Elissa never could…

  “Get out!” she shrieked. She reeled back to slap him, but he caught her right hand in a firm grip and then her left when she tried again. He pinned them so she could hardly move.

  He leaned forward. “Just tell me! What are you feeling so guilty about? What did you do?”

  Her thoughts crystallized as she tried to wriggle free of his grip. She and his father had been close even while his mother was alive, and now he could see the memory of them making love while his mother was across town...

  “Jason!”

  He blinked and released his grip. What in the hell was he doing? What had come over him?

  “Galivar’s blood,” he breathed as he stumbled backwards into the wall. Selvhara was curled up in a ball on the couch, trembling, and her violet eyes looked upon him as if she had never seen him before. “I’m sorry. I have no idea what got into me…”

  His voice died. A wave of nausea hit him like a fist in the gut, and he buried his head in his hands. He had wanted to know, he had needed to know, and for a split second he had been willing to do whatever it took to wrench the truth out of her…

  J
ason cried. The flood of emotions—both his and hers—overwhelmed him. The tears streaked down his cheeks, and no matter how hard he pressed his fingers into his eyes, they wouldn’t stop.

  “Now you know,” Selvhara whispered.

  Eventually Jason summoned the courage to look up at her. She wasn’t crying, but she wasn’t blinking, either. She was just staring at him, her knees tucked up into her chest.

  “I always assumed you and dad were together,” he whispered. “I just didn’t know when.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” she said. “Now you know why people are terrified of the Unbound. Most cannot control themselves.”

  He wiped his nose off on his sleeve. “I don’t know why I couldn’t stop. I just…I just had to know.”

  “No,” she murmured. “You had to know because you could know. Power changes everyone, Jason. Even you.”

  He stared down at his damp hands. They didn’t seem like they belonged to him. He certainly hadn’t recognized them when they had restrained Sel. He hadn’t recognized himself.

  “That will never happen again,” he said. “Not to you, not to anyone. I swear it.”

  “I know.”

  His cheek twitched. “I did the same thing with Adar. We’re here because I…”

  Selvhara slowly uncurled and reached out to touch his arm. “It’s a violation. It’s rape. Almost every society with Bound telepaths punishes them severely for misusing such an awesome power. A ball of Aetheric flame can burn a man to cinders, but a secret ripped from an unwilling mind can destroy an empire.”

  The silence lingered between them for a moment, but eventually she squeezed his arm again and pulled him onto the couch with her.

  “It wasn’t the same in Lyebel,” she told him. “You couldn’t control this power yet even if you’d wanted to.”

  “I wasn’t trying to read his mind until he thought about dad,” Jason said. “But after that, I pushed hard. I had to know what he did. I might have been able to stop it, or to focus less carefully. I don’t know.”

  “You’re lucky. You will get a chance to learn from your mistake because I will forgive you.”