Escape Velocity

by Jess Anastasi

  “And?” That look he was giving her made the next breath catch in her chest.

  “And, if I don’t want to wait for a decision, if I want to cede my place on the Valiant Knox, there’s a vice commodore position back on Earth.”

  Vice commodore? Technically, it was a promotion. Except everyone knew segueing into a commodore role meant it was time to be put out to pasture.

  “But you’re not even thirty-five yet.” She clamped her lips closed after the words blurted out.

  Kai gave a cynical laugh. “Exactly what I thought.”

  He shook his head slightly, before taking a short sip of wine.

  Sacha swallowed down a few more impulsive words, considering the right thing to say. “I mean, it’s a promotion, and being the youngest person to ever make vice commodore would have its perks, right?”

  Except he’d be on Earth, light-years away in an entirely different system. It would be years before they saw each other again. If ever. Trips to Earth weren’t cheap, and her contract with the UEF to serve onboard the Valiant Knox didn’t exactly come with the bonus of six-month holidays.

  “It would have its advantages.” He turned an absent stare to the wineglass in his hands and then set it down on the bench.

  “So you’re considering it?” The tightening in her throat turned into a lump. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t leave her when she’d just gotten him back—

  She ruthlessly shut down the desperate line of thinking. This shouldn’t be about what she wanted or needed, it had to come down to what was right for Kai. Maybe staying on the Valiant Knox—so close to the place he’d spent almost eighteen months living in hell—wouldn’t be the best situation for his recovery. A fresh start and a new role might be the best thing he could do for himself in moving forward with his life.

  He scrubbed a hand over his hair. “I don’t know. They only just suggested it. I need time to think.”

  She dropped her gaze from him. “Okay, then. What do you feel like for dinner? I was thinking pasta—”

  “Sacha.” His hands landed on her shoulders. “I’m not going to make any decision without talking to you first.”

  “Why?” She looked up at him, setting her expression into determined detachment.

  A short smile quirked up his lips. “You really going to ask that question? Stand here and play dumb?”

  “I can give you my professional opinion about what each option would mean for your recovery—”

  He yanked her forward, his mouth catching hers and cutting off the words.

  “I don’t want you to play doctor now,” he said against her lips. “I just want you, Sacha, the girl I met when I was sixteen, the friend who’s known me longer than anyone else on this entire ship, the woman whose memory got me through the darkest nights in that damn prison.”

  Before she could even think of replying, before she’d hardly gasped in a breath, Kai pressed his lips to hers again, the kiss demanding and wholly unapologetic. He made it plainly obvious what he wanted from her, and this time, she got the sense he wouldn’t let anything stop or slow him down.

  For half a second she groped for all the reasons why this was a bad idea, but couldn’t come up with a single one. With Kai pulling her up against the lean hardness of his body, his mouth and tongue coaxing her into a place of heated magic and liquid euphoria, she didn’t know why in hell she’d been resisting.

  Kai’s fingers trailed from her shoulders, across her upper chest to the fastenings of her shirt. He started shuffling her back, even as he began yanking at material, pulling her shirt free from her pants and parting the sides to slip his hands along her ribs. With shivers rippling over her skin from every place his callused fingers touched her, she tugged at his clothes hastily in return, freeing the fastenings until she could push the shirt clean off his shoulders.

  The lower padding of the couch bumped into her legs. Kai grabbed her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he tilted her down, setting her on the cushions and then coming down on top of her.

  A wild spark ignited, and desperation edged into the movements between them, as though the very universe around them would go down in flames if they didn’t come together right this moment, if they didn’t press into each other and fall out of control in equal measure.

  With impatience, she squirmed to pull her pants off, needing the hard length of him inside her, needing everything she knew he could give her. Like breathing, it had become necessary they join, that he eased the desolate brittleness that had started crystallizing inside her ever since the day she’d heard he’d gone missing.

  At last naked, she sighed in anticipation and relief, wrapping her legs around his lean waist again. Kai moved back to look down at her, unbuckling his belt and flicking open the top clasp of his pants. With a slow movement, he eased back down, his fingers sliding into her hair and then tilting her head back slightly.

  His topaz eyes burned gold as he stared down at her. The possessive, wild gleam in his gaze made her heart skip a few beats and in that moment, she could see how much this meant to him. This was no simple moment when he’d lost his head. No. For him, it seemed this was a commitment. An unspoken agreement that what they were doing went far deeper than physical need.

  A cold wash of uncertainty took the edge of her reckless desire, the gravity of what they were about to do impacting squarely in the middle of her chest with unforgiving force. But then his erection came up against her very center, hot and heavy and so very right, and it was all she could do to breathe as he started the slow push to set himself inside her.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kai swallowed over the tightness in his throat as he pushed his erection against the slick, wet heat of Sacha. Bare vulnerability gleamed in her eyes as she gazed up at him. The sight filled his chest with burgeoning feeling and warmed places inside him he’d thought would remain cold forever.

  This, right here, this woman—his closest friend whose memory had been his very lifeline in hell—this was his salvation.

  He tightened his hold on Sacha’s waist and pressed his hips forward, sliding himself into her by torturous, gradual degrees, when his instincts were hammering at him to plunge recklessly and take her like a man possessed.

  Sacha’s eyes slid closed and the low moan she made as he eased his cock all the way inside her made his insides clench. His heart rate jacked¸ his pulse skittered, and fine tingles started breaking out over his skin. This wasn’t going to be a long, drawn out seduction. It was all he could do in that second not to lose his head and come on a single restrained thrust.

  She tilted her hips up toward him, undulating in a sensuous rhythm that made sweat bloom over his lower back. With hardly any control or coordination, he retreated and lunged forward in a short stroke. She groaned again and he closed his mouth over hers with abandoned temerity. When her tongue slid against his, he shuddered all over and thrust beyond any hope of reining things in. She was so wet, so hot, and it seemed like a lifetime since he’d felt anything like this.

  As a thunder started vibrating deep within him, roaring upward and outward, Sacha cried out and arched beneath him. Her short nails dug into his shoulders and then everything erupted into pure blinding sensation. His lungs seized and heart stuttered as a tidal wave of ecstasy rolled through him and washed everything from its path.

  Kai dragged in a ragged breath and collapsed half on top of her, his arms set with a light tremble. Every part of him felt a relieved cleanness. Almost like being reborn. Just as she had tidied him up in the wash facilities in his med-lab room the first night he’d returned, tonight she’d shown him that the grimy, soiled parts of the CSS prison within him could be purified from his heart. They’d never be wiped from his memories, but at least the recollections wouldn’t be able to hurt him any longer.

  She released a low breath, a contented sound that made his inside swell with stupid pride, as her fingers ruffled through his hair.

  He lifted his head to look up at her. “Do I have
to stay on the uncomfortable couch tonight, or can I come to bed with you?”

  She laughed and swiped her tangled hair from her forehead. “You would say something like that right after…” Color darkened her cheeks after the words trailed off.

  “Having sex? Great sex? Making love? You can say it, can’t you?”

  The color deepened, but her laugh wasn’t self-conscious. “Fine, after making love. I wouldn’t put it past you to seduce me just so you didn’t have to sleep here.”

  He frowned at her, but kept the expression light. “I would never do any such thing.”

  “Oh yeah? Cindy Kent ring any bells?”

  He flinched. “Heard about that one, huh? In my defense, I was pretty drunk and having a bed to sleep in wasn’t the only reason I—”

  Sacha slapped her hands over her ears and glared. “I don’t want to hear it, not after…” She made a kind of waving motion between them. “Not when we’re like this.”

  He hugged her closer, hiding a grin. Joking around with her brought back happy memories, though it still gave him a weird feeling of disconnection, like the life they spoke of had happened to someone else.

  She groaned and pushed at his shoulder. “Look at the time, I have to get some dinner and get to bed or I’ll be dead on my feet tomorrow. I’ve got another early start.”

  He leaned back, but only far enough to catch her mouth in a deep, tender kiss. The urge to say something like “thank you” tumbled to his lips, but he pulled back on the notion. No doubt she’d take his platitude the wrong way and it would probably sound even more stupid out loud than it did in his head. The words I love you followed closely behind and he broke the kiss to look down at her.

  Jesus god, he loved her. Not that he was surprised. He’d always loved her as a friend and maybe something a little more than that. But now the emotion infused every cell inside him. He was hers. Totally. Undeniably. Though she didn’t realize yet and he couldn’t quite bring himself to tell her. Things were so very new and precarious, he couldn’t even consider he might mess this up with one ill-thought-out phrase.

  She smiled up at him, her hand gentle on the side of his face. “Don’t look so serious, you can share my bed. But I need to sleep, so if you even think of trying anything, I’ll bust you back down to the couch so fast, you’ll get friction burns.”

  He shook his head as he climbed off her and then helped her up. “You always did lay things out straight.”

  She shrugged, beautiful and sensual in the soft light, and totally comfortable with her nudity. “That way it helps avoid any misunderstandings.”

  Sacha disappeared into her bedroom, while Kai went to retrieve the clothes they’d littered all over the place. By the time he found his pants and shirt, she’d returned in sweat pants and a light T-shirt, combing out her hair. She sent him a sweet smile and made her way to the kitchen, picking up her wineglass and then pulling out various items to make dinner.

  The evening went by with easy contentment, and before he knew it, Kai was trailing Sacha into her bedroom. As she flipped down the blankets, he paused, studying her face for any hint of hesitation or second thoughts. What had happened on the couch earlier had been spontaneous and impulsive, but making the conscious decision for him to join her in the bed she’d once shared with Elliot was a whole other matter.

  However, she appeared totally at ease, so he stepped farther into the room before she noticed his loitering and thought he was the one with the issue. Yeah, he had issues, but none of them had anything to do with Sacha and the new wealth of feelings coursing through him.

  He stripped down to his boxer-briefs and then settled under the blankets next to her, wrapping his arms around her to keep her close. The lights above them blinked out, leaving the room in deep darkness, apart from the muted glow from the numbers of the clock next to the bed.

  Sacha snuggled against him and he felt her relax in his hold. He couldn’t help but run light, stroking caresses along the warm, bare skin of her arm. She made a contented noise but then slapped at his hand.

  “Hey, remember earlier when I said sleeping only? The couch threat is very close to becoming a reality.”

  Before she could struggle out of his grasp, he rolled them and set himself on top of her. “I’d like to see you try.”

  He lowered his lips to taste her skin, just under her jaw, using his other senses to explore her since he couldn’t see anything in the dark.

  She sighed his name and arched beneath him, making a quiet laugh rumble up from within him. There was plenty of time for sleep later.

  …

  Sacha closed her eyes and opened up her other senses—the heated feel of Kai’s skin against her, the deliciously masculine smell of him surrounding her, the uneven catch to his breathing as his hands slid over her. In the dark, all of these things became magnified.

  You’ll be a wreck tomorrow if you don’t get some sleep. The weak voice in her head sounded half-hearted at best, especially as he tugged up her T-shirt and closed his mouth over a hardened nipple, the graze of his teeth catching her by surprise, shooting sparks of pleasure through her body.

  When Kai had joined himself with her before, when they’d wrapped together and gotten lost in a thrall of ecstasy, she felt as though they’d forged a new connection, one they’d never had before. For him, this wasn’t just some cheap thrill or a surrender to base urges. She could see that in each moment he spent with her, the layers of the CSS prison shell were falling away to reveal…not Kai as she’d known him exactly. But a new man. A stronger man, even if he might not be able to see it himself.

  He moved his mouth over to her other nipple, biting down a little harder this time, shattering any coherent thoughts she’d been clinging to. She gasped at the shooting pleasure, causing him to repeat the action, pinching the other nipple with his fingers until he had her squirming.

  His hand slid down over her stomach, under the elastic band of her pants and when his fingers reached her pubic bone, she moaned in sheer relief for the fact he was going to do something about the tension he’d been winding up within her. She let her thighs fall open as his hand cupped her sex. Wanting more, she undulated against his palm, and was rewarded with a finger sliding inside her. But it wasn’t enough, she needed more, needed him to build her up and then set her free.

  His mouth moved from her breast and slid up the length of her neck until he found her mouth. And then a second finger joined the first, thrusting deep inside, right where she needed. He set a languid rhythm, one that she enjoyed as much as she loathed. She wanted him faster, harder, to send her over the edge into a rippling orgasm. Yet each stroke was so lusciously measured, so carefully constrained. He knew exactly how to play her. And she was enjoying the exquisite torture of every moment.

  By slow degrees, he increased the pressure and speed until the build up within her started becoming critical. And then he withdrew. She cried out at the loss of his clever fingers, but in another second, her pants were gone and the head of his erection pressed into her. She relaxed back with a relieved breath. He rolled her, the world tilting in the darkness, before she found herself on top of him. With a satisfied grin he couldn’t see, she braced her hands against his chest and lowered herself onto his hard shaft. The relief and temptation for more pulsed through her. As she slid against him, he anchored his hands on her hips, fingers tight in her flesh.

  “Sacha—” Her name in the darkness, inflected in a way only Kai ever did, made her heart triple-beat in her chest. With that simple word, she shattered, grinding down against him as the orgasm started deep within her and radiated outward like warm sunshine.

  Kai shuddered underneath her and she felt him coming deep inside her. And she’d never felt more satisfied than she did right in that moment.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sacha dropped into the chair behind her small desk and took a moment to rub her dry, bleary eyes. After getting less sleep than she’d needed the night before, she felt about as bad as she expecte
d.

  No, actually she felt worse.

  Last night… A small shiver rippled through her, even as a spike of guilt rammed right through the middle of her chest. Last night, in the heat of the moment with Kai, making love had seemed like a great idea, had been the only outcome she could see from the emotion that had been building between them since his return. It had been a reaffirmation that he’d really returned, a moment of living in the most literal sense after all those dark days she’d dealt with the lonely, soul-crushing bleakness of death.

  Even this morning, she’d woken up feeling too satisfied, and gotten ready for her shift in a warm glow of ignorant contentment, leaving Kai still sleeping in her bed.

  But then she’d stepped out of her apartment and into reality, where yes, she had slept with the guy who was technically her patient, whose mental and physical wellbeing should have been put far above her own desires.

  Sure, he’d obviously been a more-than-willing participant. But that hadn’t stemmed the rising, complicated guilt, building as the day wore on, and she thought more closely about what she had done. She’d broken one of the most sacred rules as a doctor—taken advantage of someone in an emotionally vulnerable state, leading him into thinking there was something between them when there couldn’t be.

  He should have been concentrating on his recovery, and now he would no doubt focus even more intently on her, instead of dealing with the fallout from being in that CSS prison. He’d straight out told her that he’d hung on to the memory of her in order to survive. It wasn’t a stretch of the imagination to consider he’d hang on to the promise of a relationship to avoid facing the scars of his captivity.

  She’d treated so many returned prisoners over the years, knew all the pitfalls and mechanisms the psyche could put up to deal with trauma, yet she’d had a moment of selfish weakness with Kai, the results of which could be deep and far-reaching.