The One who got Away_A Second Chance Romance

by Mia Ford

  I cringe inside. Lying would have been preferable to this. Now she’s going to plan some big romantic story in her mind and actually expect it to happen. It might become something between me and Serena, I don’t want to totally rule that possibility out, but I don’t want the added pressure of Mom’s expectation weighing on me.

  “She’s just the girl I met the other night in a club, Mom. Nothing more.”

  She tuts loudly and disapprovingly. “I wish you would spend less time in bars and clubs, Ben. It isn’t right. You’re a good boy, you should be spending your time in better ways.”

  I choose to ignore that remark and get on with my story. I can’t deal with any of that right now. I’m happy with my life, if she doesn’t see that, that isn’t my fault. “I met her while she was working in a bar and I was out on a business meeting. We only talked for a while, but she seems cool. Just nice and normal, you know?”

  Mom rills her eyes. “My goodness, she already sounds like the perfect girl for you. Are you taking her out on a date? Why don’t you call her right now?”

  “Woah, hold your horses.” I chuckle awkwardly at her. “It isn’t like that, I don’t even have her number or anything.” Maybe I shouldn’t mention the kiss at all. I don’t want her to get carried away. “It’s just... she’s someone I met, that’s all.”=

  “Right, right. So you’re keeping her a secret from me, I see.” She nods slowly and again I’m filled with the sense that she can see right through me. “I guess I’ll just go and get lunch then and we won’t say another thing about it.”

  As she walks away I sit back further in my chair and I wonder if she’s right to be suspicious about me and Serena. I played down my feelings then for obvious reasons but she’s been on my mind the whole time. It’s almost like she’s a virus in my brain that I can’t shake off however hard I try. And more than that I don’t want to.

  Maybe I should go back to the club tonight, to see her, I think to myself with a smirk playing on my lips. I am there all the time, it wouldn’t be too suspicious, and I’ll make sure I don’t get distracted again.

  The only reason I let Serena slip away from me was the call from Mom. Now that I’ve seen her today, I’ve even taken a day off work for it, there can’t be any reason for her to call me again. I don’t need to speak to anyone else, I can focus all my attention on Serena. That sounds freaking amazing.

  Maybe I will go, I don’t know. I’ll decide after this lunch.

  “Oh my God, Mom what is that? It smells incredible.” Eating luxury food out all the time is nice, but there’s nothing like my mom’s cooking. Despite all the pressure she puts on my shoulders about practically getting hitched, she’s awesome to be around too. “Is that your shepherd’s pie? I can’t remember the last time I had that.”

  “I think you were about nineteen.” The plates steam in Mom’s hands. “But I remember it being your favourite when you were little. That’s what made me decide to make it again.”

  “Oh, Mom, what a legend you are.”

  As we sit and eat, the ghost of Dad hangs over us again. I can see it in Mom’s face and I’m sure that expression is mirrored in my own. We’ve never let go of him, and that shows every time we’re together. Maybe if I actually do progress my life forwards it’ll help us both to move on. Maybe...

  ***

  I stare at my cell phone wondering who I should call to come out with me to the club tonight. I know I would only have to hit one of the buttons and whoever’s on the other end will come with me, all the people in my contacts list are yes men who want to spend time with me, but I’m not sure tonight that I want any of them. After the Kyle debacle last night where he wasn’t too nice about Serena and he called Jenny over to the table, I’m not sure I need that distraction. I just want to focus on Serena, so I can work out what this is between us.

  Is it weird to go to the club by myself? I’m really not sure. I think once I sit down and I start drinking and chatting it’ll be alright, it’ll just be walking in that’s weird... but I’m a confident man, I could totally do that.

  Yeah, screw it, I’ll go by myself.

  I stuff my cell phone into my trouser pocket and undo my shirt. I know it’s the sort of club where looking smart is required, but I want to stand out. I want Serena to know that I’m not like the rest of them.

  I grab one of my old faded band tee shirts and I shove it on under my shirt so the logo just about shows. It’s from my teenage years, when I was a grunger into rock music, so I’m surprised that it still fits over my now very muscular body, but it does so I’ll take that as a sign to just go for it.

  As I stare at my reflection in the mirror, Mom’s words circle around in my brain. Her excitement for me to actually be with Serena has rubbed off on me. She tried her best for the rest of the afternoon not to keep mentioning it but it was as if the words kept falling out of her mouth regardless. She couldn’t stop herself from talking about ‘my mystery girl’. She even said that she wants to meet her, which is ridiculous. I mean, how quick does she think I want to go? Does she not know me at all? Does she not understand that if I do take that brave step it’ll be really hard for me to do so. I won’t be jumping in with both feet.

  Right, stop getting freaked out, I tell myself with an eye roll. Just go see Serena, have some fun with her. Think of her as just a nice girl rather than someone who might become something.

  I shake my head, refusing to look at myself any more and I leave my house. My home might not be too far away from Serena’s in distance, but in stature it’s the other end of the scale. She lives in a shared crappy apartment on a dodgy area, and I live in a huge town house, surrounded by other wealthy people.

  We’re worlds apart, but not too different.

  Usually I call a car to drive me to the club, I don’t like to walk, but tonight I think the fresh air might do me some good. I take a few, brisk, confident steps thinking that I will use the time to calm myself down... but then a better solution comes to me. In the car service I usually use they have a fully stocked bar. A few drinks will be so much better than walking.

  Fuck it.

  “Yo, Adam,” I say into the phone after hitting the first button in my speed dial list. Maybe having my car service as my most called number isn’t great, but I haven’t really thought about that until now. “I need a car, stat. Is that okay? From mine to CeeLow.”

  “Sure. Someone will be with you in just a moment.”

  I hang up the phone and take a few deep breaths. My eyes flicker upwards where I can see a few stars trying to make their way through the cracks. I’m sure in the countryside, maybe even in the small town where Serena grew up, there are endless stars in the sky. It probably looks beautiful, but it isn’t like that in the city. You have to sacrifice the stars to make it far in life. I wonder if Serena is happy with her decision...

  I don’t know how she ended up as a shot girl, I don’t know why her friend suggested that job for her since it seems very awkward for her, but I’m glad that she did. Maybe that was meant to happen so we could meet one another, not that I’ve ever been one to believe in fate before. I don’t think that’s where she belongs though, I’m sure that there’s much more to her than that. Maybe that’s what I’ll try and find out tonight, what she wants from her life.

  That’s not too heavy for a second date is it?

  Is this a second date? Not really, but we did kiss and leave it there last night, so maybe. God, I am way out of my league here. This is unchartered territory for me, I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. I just really hope I don’t mess everything up.

  As the car arrives, my heart is in my throat. I plaster a big smile across my face to hide that. I don’t want anyone to know how freaked out I am by all of this.

  “Hey, Ben. Good to see you again. I have your favourite whiskey stocked in the back.”

  I breathe out a sigh of relief. Whiskey sounds damn good right now. That’s what I need to get me through this. With a bit of Dutch courage, I’l
l be just fine. “You have no idea what that means to me, honestly you’re such a legend. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  Chapter Eight – Serena

  Do I maybe feel a little more comfortable in my work attire today? As I twist my body from side to side I realise that maybe I don’t feel quite as self conscious as I did the last time I put this on. I don’t know if Ben is going to be there at the club tonight, but the thought that he might be is enough to have my whole body on fire, and why wouldn’t it after that kiss? My God that was irresistible. Even the memory of it now sends a shiver tearing up and down my spine. It was phenomenal, the way that his lips moved against mine had my heart absolutely racing at a million miles an hour. To be honest, it was enough to have me almost inviting him inside.

  I think I’m glad that I didn’t though, because it still gives me that anticipation, the excitement for what might be to come. I’m not embarrassed, wondering if I was just a one night stand, I’m interested to see him again. I can’t wait to see where this whole thing might leave.

  Oh my God, I can just feel it, that trickle racing through my veins. This is definitely it, this is what I’ve always been waiting for. I knew I had a better life waiting round the corner for me. It’s nice to be proven right.

  “Oh my God!” Jenny’s screech from the living room drags my attention away from the mirror. I don’t know if she sounds excited or terrified. Either way I race into the room to see her standing there as white as a sheet. As soon as she spots me, her eyes light up. “Serena, oh my goodness, you will not believe it. You will not believe what’s just happened to me.”

  “What? What happened? My heart is thumping in my chest, my head spins, I don’t know how I’m feeling anymore. “Jenny, please tell me.”

  “Okay, so you remember how I applied for that cruise ship job to be a dancer?” I nod even though I know for sure that she definitely didn’t tell me that. I’ve been assuming that she’s happy being a shot girl, maybe I was wrong. “Well they’ve just called me in for this audition slash interview type thing tomorrow morning. Isn’t that amazing?”

  I feel like all the breath has been zapped from my body, my lungs squeeze so tight it leaves my brain foggy and spinning. Is she serious? She might be taking another job? She’s dragged me into this club scene just before she’s about to leave me? Maybe she didn’t know it would turn out this way, but a heads up would have been nice.

  “Wow, that’s something else,” I rasp while clutching onto my chest. “What does that mean? What will happen?”

  “Well...” Jenny takes a seat and she gives me a thoughtful look. I can tell by her expression that she hasn’t really thought about the practical element of this at all. “I guess I’ll be spending most of the year on the ship if I get the job. Ten months out of the year I guess. I’m sure that’s what it said on the application anyway. I suppose I might as well spend the time I’m not on the ship at my parents...”

  That’s what I feared. She means she’ll be moving out of the apartment if she gets the job. There’s no way I’ll be able to afford this place on my own, even with the new job. The idea of applying for new roommates makes me feel sick to my stomach... not that it’s about me at the moment.

  “Oh well, sure. No point in paying rent on a place you aren’t living in.” I plaster the biggest smile on my face that I can manage. “That’s awesome, I really hope that you get it.”

  “You do?” Jenny gives me a bit of a regretful look which makes me feel awesome. This is clearly something that she desperately wants. The last thing I want to do is take it away from her.

  “Of course I do.” I grab her hands and give her a grin. “You deserve this, you really do. I hope you get it.”

  “It does mean that I can’t come into work tonight though. I can’t be out until four in the morning and then up for a nine AM interview.”

  “Oh yeah, of course. Did you want me to tell the boss?”

  “No, no, I’ll ring in. It just means you’ll have to go there alone.”

  Oh God. I don’t know if I’m prepared for this. Jumping in the deep end without a net to catch me, that isn’t a good feeling at all. I mean, I suppose it isn’t that bad since I’ve already done one shift, but the idea still scares the living hell out of me. Still, I have to support Jenny, I have to be a good friend. Even if her plan leaves me in the shit, I still want to be there for me.

  “I don’t mind that, I can go there by myself, it’s only a short walk.”

  Jenny pulls me in for a hug. “You’re a great friend, I really do appreciate you.”

  The sense that everything is changing in a terrifying way overwhelms me and I can feel tears stinging my eyes. All the excitement that was inside me only moments ago when I thought about Ben is long gone, now I’m just scared. I feel like the anchor has been yanked out from underneath me and I’m about to float around aimlessly.

  “Right.” I pull back and pat her on the arms, trying to hide my almost tears. “You go and get some rest, get yourself ready for the big day tomorrow. I have work to do.”

  Once we say our goodbyes and I make my way out the door, I gulp down the thick ball of emotion that lodges itself firmly in my throat. I haven’t been in the big city without Jenny, and I didn’t think I’d ever have to be. Maybe that just shows off my naivety. Of course people move on with their lives, no one will stick around just for me. I don’t even expect them too.

  “Hey, Summer,” one of the other girls calls out as I walk through the door to the club. “Glad to see you back again.”

  “Erm, it’s Serena, actually...” I reply, but I don’t even think she’s listening.

  As the girls stand around plastering more make up and fake tan on their bodies, it becomes even more acutely obvious how different I am from them all. I’m happy to be pale and natural. I have a little make up on my eyes but that’s it. I’ve run a brush through my hair, but I haven’t styled it like these lot. I just don’t think I can do it without Jenny. If she gets the job, I might have to leave the job as well as the apartment. I might have to go back home after all...

  “Jenny is sick, huh?” the boss, who’s name I’m not even sure of, demands. His tall, muscular stature makes him a little overbearing and terrifying. “What’s wrong with her.”

  Obviously she’s lied, I need to keep up with that, just in case. I have confidence in her that she’ll succeed at her interview, but she’ll need this as a back up just in case. “Oh yeah, I don’t know exactly.” Are my cheeks going red? Am I giving the game away without even meaning too? “She’s just been throwing up all day long.”

  “Not pregnant, is she?” he replies in a gruff, uncaring manner. “Can’t have her here if she’s pregnant. Health and safety and all that.”

  Oh well that’s just lovely, isn’t it? What a nice man. “No,” I say firmly. “She isn’t pregnant.”

  “Good. Don’t want to be worrying about that again.”

  As he walks off I screw my nose up in disgust. Aren’t there laws protecting pregnant women? I’m sure there are ways that people are supposed to behave, but that seems to have escaped the notice of CeeLow. Urgh, I need to get out of here.

  I turn on my heels and stalk into the bathroom to grab a moment alone before I have to start this shift. I don’t want to do it, I want to walk out now and call the temp agency to have them get me some more work instead, but the image of the massive bundles of cash keeps filling my mind and it drags me forward even if I’m resistant. Now more than ever I need some money, nothing else will keep me going.

  Once inside I lock myself in a cubicle and I put my head between my legs to keep my breathing steady. I don’t like this lack of control, it’s terrifying. The fact that my fate lies in the hands of someone else, and I won’t discover the truth until after Jenny, is scary. I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep my head on my shoulders tonight.

  Right, it’s time, I finally decide with a glance at my watch. Time to get to it. Just get through this shift and then wor
ry about everything else later...

  I push myself off the toilet and I make my way through the doors. Luckily because I’m so different I blend into the background so no one turns to look at me. That gives me a moment to pull myself together which is good because the first clients are through the door in a second. People seem to be really keen about this place, there’s something very attractive to the rich.

  “Come on, Summer,” the same girl from before calls out to me. “Time to get to it.”

  At first I sort of hang around on the outskirts, just trying to keep myself looking busy. I don’t want to dive in until I find the right customer because I don’t want to end up in the same position that I did last night. And by right customer I of course mean Ben... not that I would ever admit that out loud.

  “Miss?” someone eventually comes to me. “Can I get a round in?”

  I nod and take the order, my eyes scanning over the bar the entire time. I can barely focus, it’s really hard to keep any concentration on anyone when I’m waiting for someone who might or might not come in. I take note of the drinks but I already know that I’m not going to stick to this table tonight, not unless I’m forced to.

  “Right, I’ll grab those drinks for you and I’ll be back in a moment.”

  As I walk I think it’s kind of pointless to have the shot belts on. I hardly sell any drinks from it, I spend most of my night heading back and forth to the bar. I’m pretty much a waitress in revealing clothing. That’s the role I have here.

  “Miss?”

  I almost role my eyes as someone else tries to grab me. I turn on my heels and try to plaster a fake smile on my face but that soon turns into a genuine one when I realise that thankfully something has gone right. As shitty as this day has been so far, it’s about to get a whole lot better.

  “What do you mean, Miss?” I push him playfully. “It’s good to see you again, Ben.”

  The fizzling sensation sparks at my lips as the memory floods my mind. His mouth against mine, the wonderful kiss, the feel of his hands against my hips...