Hope of the Future

by Ariana Browning

  With that, Ronin leaned back against a column so he could face her, and scratched the side of his neck before crossing his arms. “Interesting idea. You think he’s keeping all those children to experiment on?”

  Hope shrugged. “Can you sense things? I mean when I get around him, he’s nothing like me, but I can sense it. You feel more familiar than him. Around him though, I get this desperate urge to mate which unnerves me and makes me angry.”

  Ronin took a moment before he answered, but the vein in his neck bulged. “Are you sure it isn’t something he is doing to you?”

  Hope laughed. “No. He mentioned being surprised about feeling that way. You didn’t answer the question.”

  Ronin shook his head. “I don’t sense stuff like you. I can sense more inside of you than I did, but not specifics. At least I can’t put a name to them.”

  Hope leaned back. “But you said you knew me.”

  Ronin’s lips slid into a smile. “I remembered something. Not where I heard it and I don’t know if it’s right.”

  Hope strolled over to him and peered up at him. “And what do you think I am?”

  “The woman I’d go to the ends of the earth to protect.”

  Hope stared at him for a long time. “Do you think perhaps you were meant to find me?”

  “You getting all fate and destiny on me?”

  “Yes. Lately I’ve felt . . . I can’t explain it. When you appeared on that balcony I felt—”

  Ronin reached up and slid the back of his fingers down her cheek. His fingers were a bit cold from them having been outside for so long, but they still warmed her. “Safe? Like I was there to protect you?”

  “Yes, under that initial fear, I did. You made me feel safe from the first day I met you, which is why I was so scared. The first night we made love back in the building after the scientists and all. Parts of my soul woke up that haven’t been there in a long time, some that were never there.”

  “I was meant to protect you, Hope. Whatever the scientists did wasn’t what changed me. Something else did. A feeling that told me one day I would need to pledge my life to the protection of this world’s future. The most powerful being this world would ever know. Completely made of the earth. Real and natural. Pure love.”

  Hope’s eyes welled up and she turned and picked her way over the broken porch. “Pure love? They weren’t referring to me then. I’ve done a lot of bad things, killed a lot of people.”

  “Bad people who wanted to stop you,” he said coming up behind her. “Why do you continue to hide what you are? You are love. You are more natural to this world than anything that has ever been. Stop hiding behind what’s wrong with you. You’ll never see the good. You’ll never make a difference.”

  “You sound like Vandren.”

  Ronin came up behind her. “Vandren?”

  “Yes. He said the same things. Right before forcing me into Darrok’s possession.”

  “I’m not discussing him. I’ll get furious and bad things happen when I get mad.”

  Hope smiled and spun around. “Then maybe we should. I like you mad. Shows me how much you care.”

  Ronin shook his head, grabbed her and kissed her to release pent up aggression, then let her go. “Frustrating woman.”

  Hope turned back around to face the land and took a chance to say what she held back for so long. She didn’t use the term because in a way, it was tainted. She spent so long denying what she was because of how much pain she suffered through, so much torment she dealt with. It had lain dormant inside of her for so long.

  Then she found the words leaving her mouth. To the one person on this planet she trusted most. “I’m an Eternal, like Darrok.”

  Ronin remained quiet for so long she wondered if he’d left. Maybe he couldn’t handle it, or didn’t believe her.

  Ronin’s arms slid over her waist and pulled her up against him. “You are more. Stop hiding, Hope. Be who you are and let them love you. This world needs you. They need someone capable of such pure, unconditional love. Give them what they seek. Hope.”

  “How do I give the world hope for something better when I myself, don’t know if there is?” A tear made its way down her cheek and before it slipped off her chin, Ronin brushed it away with a finger.

  “You’re lying to yourself. You’ve lied to yourself for too long. Stop doing it. You know you make a difference. Cayla gave her life for you. Everyone who has ever encountered you changed. They became better people, they wanted more for themselves, and they learned what love is.”

  Hope huffed. “And most have tried to kill me.”

  Ronin chuckled. “You are a pain in the ass.” When she got angry and went to step away, his grip tightened. He wasn’t finished. “You also made a man who had every intention of killing you fall for you, and change everything he was, to protect the child inside of you. Gideon changed from being around you. You do these things without effort. It’s in you to do it whether you are trying or not. This world has become jaded and cold.”

  He spread his arm out to indicate the land in front of them as though it held all the answers. Lowering his voice, he spoke slowly and with all the conviction he could, making sure she understood what he meant. “Bring it back to life.”

  Hope closed her eyes, trying so hard to resist listening to him, trying so damn hard not to hear it. Underneath his words, a small minute detail clicked into place. She fought it, but something he said struck a nerve.

  What was it about this damned insufferable man that pricked a nerve? What made him turn that switch on that she shut away? And why after all this time did she have to hear it?

  Ever since she could remember, distant whispers existed in her heart, in her soul. It took her many centuries of practice to close them away. To lock them up in a place that was untouchable. They had silenced. The connection with everything around her silenced. She became more human and died after Gideon died.

  Deep inside of her, inside the darkest parts of her soul existed a door she had locked tight and swore never to open. A closed off part of her being she never tapped into and that used to speak to her all the time. It was a door that had remained hidden away and secured within her. Upon Ronin’s words, and her closing her eyes. . .

  The lock disengaged.

  When Hope opened her eyes, a gentle breeze sifted across the dried up yellow and brown grass in front of them. Bits of dirt swept up on the wind and sent them into a rhythmic dance that brought with it whispers. Whispers that had waited a long time, until she was ready to listen.

  Leaves rose from the ground and danced over the bare land. Branches that hung low over the porch in front of them tap tap tapped against the top of the broken roof as the wind picked up strength.

  A single beam of sunshine spread over the dreary abandoned landscape, parting the deep blue and grey sky. The beam angled downward and landed along the edge of the low hanging elm tree branch in front of them.

  The faint whispers inside Hope grew louder and louder, murmuring and speaking to her, but she couldn’t hear them clearly yet. This time, for once in her life, she didn’t stop them. She let them in.

  Thousands upon thousands. They were nothing but noise. Static-filled noise like the last radio station on the dial, buzzing deep inside, crackling and desperate for recognition. A flight of bees swarmed within her, demanding her to understand them, easing inside. Amongst the noises, a smaller one joined in, it’s time.

  One tiny green branch above Hope and Ronin, not much larger than a pencil, slid out from the deadened part of the elm tree. The end of it burst open and a vine came forth, followed by the unfurling of a brilliant emerald leaf, breaking apart to rejoice in the warmth. The wind stirred and the small leaf waved hello.

  Spreading wider over the dead grass, the sunbeam soaked the ground in front of the broken porch. There in that circular place the sun rested, the dead ground gave way to a small patch of green grass, not much larger than her own hand.

  Ronin adjusted his body against her
s and Hope relaxed into his grip. His warm lips found her neck, above the collarbone, and he kissed her skin. “Come back to us, Hope,” he whispered. “Don’t be so afraid to open your heart. They want to love you so let them.”

  Ronin grew silent for a long time, then he pressed his lips against her ear and finally added, “Let me.”

  Hope turned in his embrace and stared up at him for a long time. The man opened her up from the inside out. Holding her captured in his embrace, refusing to release her for anything in this world. Those black eyes she’d spent so long avoiding because of the way they watched her, studied her, read her, and were filled with a truth she denied.

  Now, looking into them she found herself lost. Not because she fell in love with a new man, but because she remembered a love that only existed once in her life. A love that frightened her of its intensity, but a love that had grabbed her and held on, never to release her. One that changed the man.

  One that changed her.

  We will see each other again.

  Tears welled up in her eyes. Her lips parted and a small breath escaped her. One by one a few tears tumbled loose. The words came back to her and warmth filled her to the brink. At the time, she had been so torn up she didn’t pay attention to them, figuring they were the words of a dying man, telling her that when she left this earth, he would be there waiting.

  Gideon changed from being around you, Ronin’s words pressed in.

  Words of a man who was born to protect her. The dying words of a man telling her he would see her again in a different form, a different life. He had been waiting for her all this time.

  In a different face.

  In a different man.

  But he was the same.

  “Gideon, “ she breathed out.

  THIRTY EIGHT

  RONIN’S LIPS CURLED EVER-so-slowly up. “Ronin.”

  “You sonofabitch!” Hope shoved away from Ronin and went to storm away from him. She needed distance. Many nutto things had happened lately, but this one took the prize.

  Ronin grabbed her upper arm and pressed her body between his and the porch railing. “We’ve established that part. Don’t walk away from me.”

  “I was storming because you annoy me.”

  “Isn’t that always the case. As do you.”

  “Plan to admit it?”

  “Do I need to?”

  Hope clenched her jaw. “So you die, you come back? Ronin knew Cayla before. That would mean that—”

  “There was no before for me.”

  “I—wait, what?” Hope faltered.

  “Remember what I said about dying and coming back? I took over for Ronin, but I am still Ronin. Cayla was the way for me to get back to you. I needed to get back to you. She brought me straight to you.”

  “I was left alone, Ronin.”

  Ronin stared at Hope for the longest time. “You weren’t. After you told me your story, I realized it. Your pain blinded you, but you weren’t alone like you thought. You never were. She came when you needed someone. Cayla was with you. She’s always been there, trying to help you see the truth.”

  Hope’s head spun. “I am getting lost in all of this. You’re telling me that it was all placed there to help me? No. Otherwise you’re telling me then that the scientists? Bob? They all were there to hurt me to get me to you.”

  Ronin paused and glanced away. The muscle in his jaw ticked away for several long moments. “I wouldn’t put you through that. I remember being born as Gideon, but I also remember being born as Ronin. Memories fade when I inhabit a new life and I take on many of their memories. When I came to be Ronin, I had forgotten everything before his existence.”

  Hope pushed away from him, but again, he pulled her back. “Would you stop?”

  “Stop trying to leave.”

  “I need air. You know, to think?”

  “You’re not going anywhere.”

  Hope sighed and glanced around to calm down. “You’re the you I saw back on that building. You take on the conscious of the body you inhabit.”

  Ronin’s eyebrows rose. “Impressive.”

  “Why don’t you remember?”

  Ronin chuckled. “Do you?”

  “Touché. But I don’t stop being me. I’m always me. Always have been.”

  Ronin nodded. “I think the lab experiments messed with me. I have dreams sometimes of being only what you saw, never returning to human form. The creature in the middle of a battleground with a lot of death surrounding me. A battleground I made. I was not meant to kill all those who came after me to find me, but it felt too good. Too . . . right. I ended up in Gideon’s body and forced to live as a human for so long I forgot who I was and it filled me with anger. I was an angry man . . . until you.”

  He slid the back of his fingers down her cheek, cherishing her with his touch. “When I was dying as Gideon I remembered. I wanted so badly to apologize for hurting you, wanted to make it right. When I died, I woke up right after in a cold sweat as Ronin. Soon before Cayla kidnapped me. I forgot who I was before that nightmare woke me or I would have sought you out. When Vandren injected me with that shot, I drifted down into a dark place and remembered bits and pieces. When I woke up, I hunted you.”

  “That instant?”

  Ronin smiled. “Nothing on this earth could keep me from finding you again. I didn’t want to love anything, Hope. Ever. I spent a life of hatred in Gideon’s body and I saw what people were capable of. I hated them, I hated this world. Everything good left me a long time ago. As Gideon, I wanted to break you down again and again to prove to you that people weren’t worth saving, but it never worked so it made me angrier. When you got pregnant, my entire plan fell apart. I remembered all of that and I hated what I put you through. I couldn’t say it, I could only save you.”

  The muscle in his jaw pulsed and Hope waited until he was calm before she asked, “It wasn’t me who changed you, was it? It was the child.”

  Ronin’s attention shot back to her, then fell on her stomach. “That child wasn’t human and Darrok knew it.” Ronin stormed away with a stiff back. He slammed his fist into the wall of the house and the boards crumpled under his touch. “Darrok lied to you. He got rid of our child because of it.” Ronin’s voice grew thicker and deeper and a shiver scurried down Hope’s spine. What came next she wasn’t prepared for.

  In a blink, Ronin grabbed her by the arms, drifting into his natural self, the creature. His eyes grew white and the wings extended from his back. He raised her from the porch and held her at arm’s length. She dangled there in midair, unsure of what to do.

  “That demon,” he growled through clenched teeth, sharpened into points, “will pay for taking my child from me. As did Kaden. Vandren . . . already has.” The words became almost impossible to understand beneath his fury.

  Hope wasn’t afraid, because it wasn’t her he was mad at. He was angry about losing their child. A small voice spoke below all the others whispering inside of her. A voice desperate to be heard, who had been hiding, fearing what would come of it, if they found out it was there.

  One she listened to.

  It’s time. It whispered for the second time.

  Hope raised her hand to his blackened chilled skin, gazed deep into those eyes, searing her with the rage they felt at the world. With a light touch, her fingers moved to his lips that were curled back from his teeth.

  A tear slid down her face. “Darrok didn’t take anything from you.”

  Ronin’s grip on her tightened. Angry because she didn’t understand, didn’t see his side of it. “They took everything from me, just like before, and I will make them pay.”

  Thunder clapped above her head, which darkened the sky and made the wind pick up until it howled around them. The grass where the sun had lain and brought forth green, dried up and died as did the branch that held the new leaf.

  Hope smiled, not bothered in the least. She lowered her voice to a whisper amongst the howling wind. “I’m still pregnant.”

  Th
e wind died. Where Hope’s hand touched his cheek, the leather skin turned to human flesh, followed by the rest until he was human again. The sky cleared above and Ronin’s grip eased as he lowered Hope to the porch.

  “What?” he asked, his words barely audible.

  Hope shrugged. “Vandren told me before we left the house. When they removed the tracker, the baby wouldn’t survive. Maybe he was telling me on purpose; either way, I was prepared for it. More important? The baby was prepared for it. She isn’t any less stubborn than I am.”

  “Are you telling me—”

  “How many times a girl have to say it? I. am. still. pregnant.”

  “Did you know?”

  “How mad would it make you if I said, yes?”

  “Very,” he ground out.

  “Then no, not at all.” She smirked.

  “Everything that child is, Darrok wants. He’ll try to destroy her, and you. If it’s not his, he won’t let her live.”

  Ronin stood across from Hope in the park, not too far from the house. Ronin refused to take a chance with her. They didn’t stay in the house all day every day. Only when they needed to sleep. For days, they went back and forth through the zone where the house was, discussing plans to destroy Darrok.

  Ronin’s possession over Hope neared the point of suffocation, but it didn’t bother her. It came from his need to protect her, and their child. This time he had no intention on losing either of them.

  To be honest, it comforted her. When Ronin went out to scout the area and left for half the day—since he aggravatingly loved to point out, he could fly, and she could not—she felt a huge part of her missing. The world seemed lonelier and colder. Once he came back, she felt safe, warm, protected, and powerful.

  Loved.

  Every day Ronin’s strength increased and so did his essence. He gave over to what he was and no longer fought against it. Now that Hope had also embraced what she was, her own strength grew. She found everything she had been seeking after all this time. Ronin was her true opposite, not Darrok.